back to article Sub plot subplot thickens: Madsen claims hatch fumble killed Swede journo Kim Wall

The submarine captain accused of killing a Swedish journalist onboard his homemade vessel says she died when a hatch door accidentally hit her head. Peter Madsen told a Copenhagen court on Tuesday that Kim Wall was slain when a door Madsen was holding open for her slipped and slammed into her as they sailed between Denmark and …

  1. Winkypop Silver badge

    Scraping the bottom of the excuse bilge?

    I hope that comment is not sub judice.

    1. Adam 1

      Re: Scraping the bottom of the excuse bilge?

      Aye sea what you did the-arrh.

  2. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

    Yeah, the hatch hit her head so hard it clean ripped her head off the rest of her body.

    1. Stese

      Indeed

      "Yeah, the hatch hit her head so hard it clean ripped her head off the rest of her body."

      and presumably the force removed her limbs as well....

      1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

        Re: Indeed

        and presumably the force removed her limbs as well

        Ahh, they got clean ripped off as he pulled her body out of the sub.

        In the end, he had to sink the sub as there was bloody *everywhere*. It was going to be easier to build a new sub and claim she'd disappeared than face the clean up.

      2. Teknogrot

        Re: Indeed

        Little known fact about the old crash test dummy toys is that they're based on real human anatomy. If you remove one limb or the head then the whole thing loses structural integrity and bits spring off madly in all directions.

      3. Joe User

        Re: Indeed

        Next excuse: sawfish cut off her head and limbs.

    2. tmTM

      "Yeah, the hatch hit her head so hard it clean ripped her head off the rest of her body."

      and then (probably) sexually molested what was left.

      because it's unlikely the poor woman died due to bad maintenance of the vessel.

    3. jmch Silver badge
      Trollface

      Or possibly she accidentally brutally cut her head off while combing her hair

  3. Bob Vistakin
    Holmes

    The hatch cut her head off?

    Yes m'lud. And the force of this spun her so much she became wrapped entirely in a tarpaulin, where all this banging about made some nearby stones get all tangled up in ropes which wrapped themselves around her. Then she fell into the sea.

    1. rmason

      Re: The hatch cut her head off?

      *****

      "The hatch cut her head off?

      Yes m'lud. And the force of this spun her so much she became wrapped entirely in a tarpaulin, where all this banging about made some nearby stones get all tangled up in ropes which wrapped themselves around her. Then she fell into the sea."

      *****

      It was at this point, your honour, that her legs fell off.

  4. chivo243 Silver badge

    Black Knight Syndrome?

    Your Honor, she kept saying it was only a flesh wound....

    Lock this liar up for the rest of his life...

    1. austin81

      Re: Black Knight Syndrome?

      haha, brilliant!

  5. Mage Silver badge

    On a serious note

    They have re-opened investigation of other mutilated bodies found in the region.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Interesting but not directly linked

      "The case has prompted investigators to reopen unsolved killings in Denmark, including the 1986 find of the dismembered remains of a 22-year-old Japanese tourist whose corpse was found in several plastic bags in Copenhagen harbor. Moeller Jensen stressed that it was standard procedure to look at so-called cold cases and there is no immediate link to Wall's killing."

      -

      http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/danish-submarine-owner-faces-charge-womans-death-49412497

      Madsen was fifteen years old when the Japanese tourist died.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Holmes

        Re: Interesting but not directly linked

        Well maybe they think it could be like The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and Madsen's father killed in the past, and initiated his son into it.

      2. Mage Silver badge

        Re: fifteen years old

        Doesn't rule him out either. :(

  6. 0laf Silver badge
    Meh

    Was she like an Action Damage toy? You know hit a button somewhere and all the limbs fly off.

    I suspect quite soon we'll be seeing reports about Madsen having mental health issues and his excuses will get wilder and wilder and he gets painted into a corner.

    I've been in disciplinary meeting with strange people like this who will continue to deny what they've done even when presented with conclusive proof. To a rational person (i.e. me) it seems completely crazy but they're in a different reality.

    1. ridley

      If he has mental health issues and is found that he killed her, then he can be held indefinitely, if not then under the laws in Denmark he goes to jail for a relatively short time by British and certainly Merkin standards.

      In short, it is not in his best interests to be found to have MH issues, OTH for the authorities it would allow the possibility of life behind bars where life means life.

    2. Nolveys

      To a rational person (i.e. me) it seems completely crazy but they're in a different reality.

      wrote 0laf, whilst sitting atop a throne made of human body parts.

  7. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    IT Angle

    Hes

    making it up as he goes along

    1. Aladdin Sane
      Holmes

      Re: Hes

      You don't say?

  8. ukgnome
    Holmes

    Mr Jolly is all at sea.

    Clearly this was an unfortunate series of events that could happen to anyone. Who here hasn't accidentally killed someone eh? That's what I thought.

    1. GruntyMcPugh

      Yeah, but Madsen was supposed to take out Nicholas Parsons.

      1. ukgnome

        +2 - as i can't add another - but glad you got the reference.

      2. DuncanL

        What? Right out? Dorking?

  9. Kane Silver badge
    Alien

    Dead Space

    For some reason after reading that article, this game came to mind...

    1. JLV

      Re: Dead Space

      Dead Calm too.

  10. ratfox
    Meh

    Yeah right

    It's weird how after the third time you're found to be lying, people stop believing anything you say.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Almost inclined to believe him

    Of course you have to add that he panicked, realised he was responsible for her death even if it was accidental and decided to cover the whole thing up by mutilating the corpse.

    So he becomes guilty of manslaughter by means of wilful negligence and defiling a corpse.

    1. sabroni Silver badge

      Re: Almost inclined to believe him

      Wanna buy a bridge?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Almost inclined to believe him

        You actually manage to seem less credible than him. Well done.

        Also note that I did say that his story results in him being guilty on all charges. Just due to being a crap sub captain rather than the next Jack the Ripper.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @Downvoters

          I don't blame you, Jack the Ripper captaining a submarine is too awesome to diss the way I did.

  12. PJ 1

    Wrongly filed

    You appear to have filed this in Bootnotes whereas clearly you meant to file it in DasBootnotes.

  13. Chris G Silver badge

    Something stinks in the State of Denmark

    "Yeah! The bang on the head from the hatch must have knocked it loose, that's why her head came off in the sea.

    I'm not making this up you know? "

  14. adam payne

    "I lose my foothold and the hatch shuts," the captain told the court. "There was a pool of blood where she had landed. I had no contact with the body and didn't want a dead body in my submarine. I put a rope around her feet to drag her out of the hatch."

    The hatch shuts killing her instantly and you then bury her at sea because you didn't want a body in your sub. Some time later the sub sinks.

    I don't believe a word this word this man says.

    1. Rhyd

      Obviously it sank because he opened a hatch; that was his biggest mistake.

      1. 2Nick3

        "Obviously it sank because he opened a hatch; that was his biggest mistake."

        After all, there is a reason subs don't have sliding glass doors.

    2. Eguro

      I believe his claim is that he panicked and sort of became suicidal.

      I have no idea why he'd dump the body, but he apparently then sank the boat in some idiotic suicide attempt.

      At least I think that's his version of events.

  15. hatti

    inconsistent

    After initially claiming he had dropped Wall off at the port before the craft suffered a malfunction that caused it to sink.

    no mention of the accident with the hatch at this point then

    1. Eguro

      Re: inconsistent

      It was falsely reported by ElReg, and others I'm sure, that he changed his story a week later.

      The story we're now hearing is actually the story he told the police and courts on the day he was found. It happened behind closed doors at the courts, so the only publicly known story was the initial one about dropping her off.

      I commented this same fact on the relevant article:

      https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/2/2017/08/22/private_sub_captain_says_reporter_died/#c_3268431

  16. ColonelClaw

    To quote Blackadder the 3rd...

    "...the Acting Returning Officer, Mr. E. Blackadder, of course. And we're all very grateful, indeed, that he stepped in at the last minute, when the previous Returning Officer accidentally brutally stabbed himself in the stomach while shaving."

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As excuses go I think this one is going to sink.

  18. Andy The Hat Silver badge

    She was a journo ...

    ... so she probably had a notepad. Thus it's feasible that she decapitated herself accidentally with a particularly severe paper cut whilst folding an accurate origami model of the sub. The resultant nervous tremors caused further paper cuts and removal of her limbs. He (Cap'n Sub Mariner) was so horrified that he opened the hatch to let said body parts out of the sub before he too experienced terminal flesh wounds ...

    Before you say it's not possible - have a search on the inter-web for "I decapitated myself with a sheet of Basildon Bond" ... between "The witch turned me into a newt, my subsequent path to health" and "Cutting you toenails with a sythe, a unidexter's guide."

    1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
      IT Angle

      Re: She was a journo ...

      Perhaps she complained about the lack of headroom in the sub and he solved the problem by cutting off her head

      (Originally used by one S.Baldrick to solve the problem of his mother's low ceiling)

  19. JaitcH
    Unhappy

    What a Sad Death for a Talented Woman

    Even if she met her death by accident, why abuse her remains?

  20. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    "I was just about to bury her at sea when, Whoops!, off fell her head. As I scrambled for it, her arms and legs fell off and tumbled overboard. I was so shocked I dropped the head in the sea. Then her legless, armless, headless body fell in. There was nothing more I could do so I buttoned up the Leaky Scow and sailed for home and a nice hot toddy. Sadly I was put so out of sorts by these events I neglected to close one or two hatches and the old girl sank."

    1. Rustbucket

      Re: Bah!

      Not just her head and arms but her underwear as well

      "Mr. Madsen found a rope, he said, and tied it to Ms. Wall’s legs, to pull her out through the hatch, in the process tearing off her pantyhose and her shoes. Asked to account for why her underwear and other clothing were missing, he had no explanation."

      https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/05/world/europe/peter-madsen-kim-wall-murder-submarine-denmark.html

  21. Phukov Andigh Bronze badge

    how do you say

    "bullsh*t" in Swedish? Because that's what is going on here.

    His excuses are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.....

    1. CRConrad

      Re: how do you say

      "Skitsnack".

      HTH!

  22. JLV

    involuntary manslaughter?

    That seems rather tame at this point. I'd go my with non-premeditated murder, murder two, unless that nutjob can explain what actually happened and why she ended up cut to pieces.

    Not usually given to running with the "tough on crime" crowd but that poor lady shouldn't have been killed and he looks very, very, guilty. 10 years or so seems lenient.

    1. Morten Kristiansen

      Re: involuntary manslaughter?

      Well, the standard, if you can say that, for 1st degree murder is 12 years in Denmark. However, you'd need to prove he had the intention of killing her.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: involuntary manslaughter?

        What is the standard in Danish law for abuse of a corpse? I'm beginning to suspect that will become the more significant charge.

  23. Lotaresco Silver badge

    Understandable

    It's a natural reaction when one has been involved in an accident involving another human being to saw off their head and limbs then add weights to the torso and dispose of the remains at sea. I can't understand why all the scepticism.

    As to his earlier statement that he dropped her off on an island about three hours into their trip he clearly misspoke because what he intended to say was “I lose my foothold and the hatch shuts, Kim had been severely hurt and was laying with an intense bleeding. There was a pool of blood where she had landed.” and that he immediately performed the recognised emergency procedure of removing all her limbs and head to make her more comfortable in the confined space of a submarine.

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