back to article The cheek of it! Beach bar owner shoots nude bather in the booty

A bar owner in southern Corsica stands accused of firing a pellet into the booty of a nudist who refused to cover up during a beach bathing session. The Italian holidaymaker was relaxing with a bunch of similarly un-attired pals on the Mediterranean island, one of the 18 administrative regions of France, when all were told by …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    The cheek of it!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      ...just noticed the headline. And I thought I was being so original...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        It's OK, happens to all of us. Usually just before we head off to the pub :).

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "...just noticed the headline. And I thought I was being so original..."

        Bummer.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        apparently they did a survey in Finland and most people don't read the headline either.

  2. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Did her arse look big in the buff? Well, it's probably swollen now !!!

    1. Michael Thibault

      "Swollen", yes, but nature breeds symmetry... And I'm sure there's another side to the story.

  3. Dave 126 Silver badge

    Not enough evidence? Wasn't there a UK police helicopter overhead filming the nudists? I hear that's standard practice now!

    [Helicopter icon / Paris icon / beer icon ]

    1. Teiwaz

      Brit Police Helicopter spys nudists

      Rare to get the weather here for a start (not since June this year anyway). It's a pity really that Britain is the way it is about body acceptance - we'd all be a lot more relaxed and less uptight otherwise.

      Mind you, plenty of European countries are more relaxed about it, but still manage to remain uptight about a lot of things.

      Did they check the drinks seller for excessively sampling his own wares?

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        Re: Brit Police Helicopter spys nudists

        It's a pity really that Britain is the way it is about body acceptance

        The French papers had a recent survey about which nationalities of women were comfortable about being topless on a beach, and Britain didn't do too badly. No surprise that the US was joint last...

        Spain 49%

        Germany 41%

        Netherlands 35%

        France 29%

        UK 26%

        Italy 20%

        US 11%

        Canada 11%

        1. Michael Thibault

          Re: Brit Police Helicopter spys nudists

          "Canada 11%"

          Oddly, Canadian jurisprudence (specifically Ontario, IIRC) has it that toplessness is a right to be exercised almost anywhere in public. Not many take advantage, even in summer. Or so it seems. Maybe saving it for a rainy day.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Brit Police Helicopter spys nudists

          and how many actually want to see many of these topless (and that goes for the men as well).

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As nature intended

    Clearly nature hasn't yet caught up with the development of projectile weapons. Keep up at the back(side) there nature.

  5. Chris G Silver badge

    When the police arrived

    He swore it was a bum rap.

  6. emmanuel goldstein

    Could have been worse

    Corsica has France's highest ratio of firearms per capita - guns are deeply woven into the fabric of the place and they love a good blood feud too so she's lucky to have been on the receiving end of an air gun and not something more terminal.

    1. JimboSmith Silver badge

      Re: Could have been worse

      I used to work with a French woman who made disparaging remarks about all the French islands, along the lines of what we'd probably say about Norfolk (UK). Why do I immediately have a vision of Mohammar Szyslak-Yeti from The Simpsons as the booze jockey in this scenario?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Could have been worse

        the French islands

        Don't let a Corsican hear you say that...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Could have been worse

          .....and as I live in Norfolk, don't let me hear you either!

          I fail to understand why people pick on Norfolk...especially as Suffolk is so nearby.

          AC as I don't want them Suffolk folk to revoke my visitor's visa..

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Coat

            Re: Could have been worse

            It's probably easy to count all six reasons to pick on Norfolk on a single hand.

            1. MJI Silver badge

              Re: Could have been worse

              Personally I am not keen on jokes about being polydactyly as my mum had a mild anti sickness medicine and I was lucky that it was not thalidomide, so too many rather than not enough.

              Not offended but it ain't fun.

          2. waldo kitty
            Trollface

            Re: Could have been worse

            I fail to understand why people pick on Norfolk...especially as Suffolk is so nearby.

            There is the same problem in Virginia, USA :lol:

  7. Dave 126 Silver badge

    Has anyone else noticed that the fashion for young men to wear their jeans so low that everybody has to see their boxer-shorts clad arses has only come about since BB guns have effectively been banned?

    1. ps2os2

      Low jeans

      The Low Jeans thingy has been around the US for 20 or so years. Mostly the black gangster types do it. It's their thing and if they like it and it doesn't hurt anyone let them have their "Fashion" statement.

      1. Herby

        Re: Low jeans

        My sister was a principal at an elementary school where this fashion statement was in vogue. Her method of discouraging it was to say that "Looks like your diapers are a bit full there". The effect was pretty good.

        Of course there is "plumbers crack" which is a whole different story.

      2. waldo kitty
        Facepalm

        Re: Low jeans

        It has been around a longer than that and supposedly originated in prisons and jails as a way for those wearing such to advertise their availability to others...

    2. Teiwaz

      Has anyone else noticed that the fashion for young men to wear their jeans so low that everybody has to see their boxer-shorts clad arses has only come about since BB guns have effectively been banned?

      Are you postulating that the BB extinction has allowed a species of low arsed jeans wearing apes to thrive? I think we should all count ourselves lucky that 'commando' is not also currently in fashion.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I think we should all count ourselves lucky that 'commando' is not also currently in fashion.

        Why? Just hitting a butt is hardly sporting - too easy. With commando style you'd have to be a bit more precise, makes things more challenging :).

  8. Haku

    I remember holidaying at that beach.

    Though my memories are a little vague because I was 7 at the time, and that was a long time ago.

    But it was a good holiday, and there was the time we went on a coach tour that went round the narrow roads on the mountain, and some idiot crashed into the back wheel, of which I was sat right above.

    Their Citroen was written off, the coach only needed a new hubcap :)

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Should have used a paint gun, dual purpose.

    I remember years ago visiting Fuerteventura and accidentally stumbling onto the nudist beach at costa calma to see what I can only describe from the distance as super mario going for a jog, it was only close up that I realised it was not the iconic plumber and it wasn't a plunger he was carrying. I've had eye laser surgery since then which is probably a good thing.

  10. MJI Silver badge

    It may have bounced off

    Pellets do not always break the skin.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: It may have bounced off

      This may have happened hence no more reports.

      Depends on angle and distance.

      Same weapon could take out a small animal, blind someone, or just sting.

      Air gun pellets are like that.

      1. Little Mouse Silver badge

        Re: It may have bounced off

        If she was your "typical" naturist, the pellet probably just got wedged into one of the many creases and wrinkles.

  11. Marty McFly Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Pictures?

    At first I thought this is a useless article without pictures. Then I thought about it. There are some nude women who will be good for a bar's business. There are other nude women who would likely drive men to drink heavily....someplace else. I am guessing this was the latter and that is why she was chased off.....and that is why I am grateful there are no pictures!

    Paris because she would be good for the bar's business if properly (un)attired.

    1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Pictures?

      Rule #1 of Nude Beaches

      The people you see on nude beaches are never the people you *want* to see on a nude beach.

      (except this one time, when I actually saw a pair of lovely college girls playing paddle ball in the buff....)

      1. TheElder
        Boffin

        Re: Pictures?

        Here are some pictures.

        Beach in Vancouver

      2. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

        Re: Pictures?

        "(except this one time..."

        At Band camp?

  12. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. Hollerithevo

    A gift to El Reg

    I expected the jokes, and really, there was no end of them.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Carry on camping

    Who remembers anything about Terry wossisname in Carry On Camping. There's only one scene to be remembered. If you know it, fine (the famous one with Elizabeth of Windsor in it, if memory serves me) If you don't, count your blessings.

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: Carry on camping

      "There's only one scene to be remembered."
      Oh I dunno. I quite like the beginning...

      Carry On Camping 1969 full movie

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Carry on camping

        "Where's the camp site owner?" "He's just gone for a P".

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Carry on camping

      "the famous one with Elizabeth of Windsor in it,"

      The morning exercise one? "Chest in, chest out ...ping!". That's the clip that is often used whenever Carry On Camping is given as an example of a genre.

      Carry On Sergeant is also remembered for one scene. Bob Monkhouse is not paying attention in a weapon maintenance class. Sergeant picks him out to reassemble a machine gun - which he does very quickly and smoothly. Sergeant apologises for thinking he wasn't paying attention. "Oh I wasn't - but my job in civvy street was assembling these".

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Carry on camping

      "the famous one with Elizabeth of Windsor in it, if memory serves me"

      I'm afraid that memory has not served you - wrong 'Windsor'.

      Formally Saxe-Coburg & Gotha, Elizabeth Windsor is currently reigning monarch of the United Kingdom and the Commonweath.

      Memory, if it had been serving, would have served you Barbara Windsor.

  15. earl grey
    FAIL

    i have to say the bloke was lucky

    My first thought was that if i had been in the group i would have gone back and put his rifle some place the sun doesn't normally shine. What an arse!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: i have to say the bloke was lucky

      I have to also say that guy was lucky; if he did it in the UK, there would have been 200 armed police storming the pub within the hour.

      (unless there was a doughnut spillage nearby).

      1. Version 1.0 Silver badge

        Re: i have to say the bloke was lucky

        Used to be, for incidents where you wanted to scare but not badly injure, a shotgun was used with the pellets removed from the cartridge and replaced with kosher salt. It hurts but all I have is a few small scars in my booty.

        1. Tikimon
          Devil

          Re: i have to say the bloke was lucky

          Rock-salt shotguns are SO last century. Trade up to a paintball gun! They don't penetrate but DO hurt like hell, and leave a nice round welt for a couple of weeks as a reminder. Being cheap and non-damaging you can send a rain of stinging projectiles to smite your interlopers.

          Seriously, this is what they should arm security robots with. Totally non-lethal and HURTS.

  16. DasBub

    Did the missus...

    ... go "Ooo, er"?

  17. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Self defense?

        Not to disagree, but few have spent the years needed to reach that level of physical badassery. As such, it's not something you can advocate to the general public.

        This is also a British rag filled with nanny-state inmates who will downvote any suggestion of using violence to defend oneself. Don't take it personally.

        1. TheElder

          Re: Self defense?

          I guess they haven't needed to fight real bears or cougars. Not much different than fighting the human ones.

          Fighting a Bear with your fist

          Fighting Cougars

          Mother fought off cougar to save toddler

          Sometimes in practice I would wear a white belt. It is a very good distraction for the opponent. I have always been a teacher.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Self defense?

        Me too they call me "the daredevil"

        1. TheElder

          they call me "the daredevil"

          I am known as the Cereal Killer. I always eat breakfast.

  18. Simon Harris

    Bootnotes?

    Bootynotes surely?

  19. TheElder

    years needed to reach that level of physical badassery.

    Physical strength is not necessary. How much energy do you think it takes to crush a windpipe? They will instantly not be singing any song at all. It is about confidence, concentration as well as human psychology. You can cut me with a knife but you will die first as I stop the bleeding and walk to the hospital for a few stitches.

    In altercations with firearms only one in ten actually make a hit with the first shot. See ya later alligator.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Caravaggio beach?

    Reminds me of Caravaggio cheese. It smells exactly like ass crack.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Caravaggio beach?

      A friend's apparently virginal teenage son raised his parents' eyebrows at the dinner table when refusing broad beans with the same remark.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Caravaggio beach?

      Makes you wonder how anyone knows what ass crack smells like.

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