back to article Fan of FBI cosplay? Enjoy freaking out your neighbors? Have we got the eBay auction for you

A rather unusual auction on eBay could appeal to aspiring spies and X‑Files fantasists alike. A bloke in North Carolina is offering up what is described as a restored 1989 FBI "surveillance" van, complete with listening equipment, LCD monitors, and two DVD players, apparently. The van, an otherwise not unsettling brown Dodge …

  1. Winkypop Silver badge

    Ironside

    Does it have a wheelchair lift?

    1. BillG
      Devil

      Re: Ironside

      Could this be the new El Reg Roving News Van?

  2. G2
    Black Helicopters

    oh

    quote from the auction description "still has Surveillance tapes inside with notebooks"

    oh oh... that sounds like it might be evidence (even if misplaced) and still FBI property. I don't think they would knowingly sell their tapes and notebooks, unless they are unused or not usable anymore.

    1. JimC

      Re: that sounds like it might be evidence

      Well, not if they are unused tapes and notebooks.

    2. foxyshadis

      Re: oh

      Law enforcement disposes of evidence after a conviction. Sometimes it's by dumpster, sometimes it's by auction, but they don't really care what happens. It's not like many privacy laws were in effect when they auctioned it off the first time.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    4chan party van

    This isn't it. What you really want is an FBI mobile command center.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 4chan party van

      Wrong color.

      Needs a bear suit to go with it.

      1. Kane Silver badge
        Childcatcher

        Re: 4chan party van

        "Needs a bear suit to go with it."

        Why don't you have a seat over there?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: 4chan party van

          "Why don't you have a seat over there?"

          I see your demotivational poster and raise you a visit from this guy

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe it's because of the films I've seen those types of vans in but I'm wondering if it comes with Puppies.

  5. frank ly

    Retro

    It's even got real wood veneer effect panelling!

    1. Emmeran

      Re: Retro

      Seriously though... you couldn't sell wood paneling to anyone in 1989. Casts doubt on the whole shebang.

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        Re: Retro

        You wouldn't have had to. Everything in 1989 can with wood panelling regardless of whether or not you wanted it. Well, everything that wasn't painted magnolia anyway.

      2. phuzz Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Retro

        "you couldn't sell wood paneling to anyone in 1989"

        Until some clever dealer realised they could offload their stock of old, unfashionable, fake-wood panelled vans to the government.

  6. Alfie Noakes
    FAIL

    What is that smell?

    I didn't think that DVDs and LCD displays (as per the picture) existed in 1989?

    1. Afernie

      Re: What is that smell?

      LCD screens have been around for a long time, only becoming ubiquitous once prices came down - using them in a vehicle with confined space would make sense regardless of cost. DVD as a format has existed since 1995, but nobody said the van never received any upgrades during its service life, did they?

  7. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Coat

    Officer, I can explain everything.

    I just need a little time to compose my thoughts.

    That windbreaker with "FBI" on the back in big letters? Nothing whatsoever to do with me.

  8. Chris G Silver badge

    Fun

    You certainly could have some fun with a van like that, on the other hand there are people who could take you very seriously, extract you from the van and introduce you to the sport of extended freediving

    With extra heavy flippers.

  9. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Doesn't meet emission standards where I live.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      "Doesn't meet emission standards where I live."

      In most places, emission standards only apply to vehicles built after the the standards were introduced. Otherwise you'd be forcing people who can't afford a new car to go without, not to mention the classic and vintage car owners.

  10. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    Mobile shack?

    I know a few radio hams who would be salivating over the possibilities...

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Trap and honey?

    You'd have to be very bold to buy this. :D

  12. Snorlax
    Black Helicopters

    Flowers By Irene

    That pipe rack on the roof would make a great Pringles can antenna.

    gsaauctions.com is a great place to pick up stuff like this. Or a retired Crown Vic. Or maybe a US Navy MZ-3A blimp?

    1. GrumpyKiwi

      Re: Flowers By Irene

      Have a +1 just for the Simpson's reference.

  13. Sanctimonious Prick
    Happy

    Mmmmmmmmmm...

    Wardriving.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Err.. listing issue

    "only one owner..."

    If that's true, either the van is not a former FBI van, or Mr. Chubb can expect a visit from some guys in dark suits...

    1. Montreal Sean

      Re: Err.. listing issue

      "Only one owner..."

      It actually says "one previous owner", so the current seller is the vehicles 2nd owner.

  15. 404

    Not worth it

    1. It's a Dodge.

    2. Known for weak transmissions.

    3. Brand name is famous for anti-mpg - I.E. Gas Hog.

    4. Like a used cop cruiser, probably has DNA/bodily fluid 'evidence' all over the interior...

    Pass.

  16. William Higinbotham

    Ask for VIN number. The van looks like there wad an accident - white on the side. Then ask the FBI why they did not report the accident?

    1. GrapeBunch

      The small bit of white powder on the vehicle? Or the larger pile of it on the ground? I don't think it's evidence gone astray. Might be owner-applied vehicle treatment (aka car wax) used to restore the vehicle. So glad didn't have to use quote marks, italics, or abrasive.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @William Higinbotham "Ask for VIN number."

      Is that like using an ATM machine?

      :)

      1. Snorlax

        @AC: It's called redundant acronym syndrome (RAS). Some linguists believe it's a valid way of clarifying or adding context to a TLA

  17. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    FBI cosplay?

    Had me thinking of J Edgar Hoover for a moment. Until I scrolled down and saw the Dodge.

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Coat

      Re: FBI cosplay? Had me thinking of J Edgar Hoover for a moment.

      Now, now.

      Pix, or it didn't happen.

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