back to article Authorities go hard on coffee maker for stiff Viagra-powered brew

How's this for a stiff one to start the day? We now go live to America, where watchdogs have recalled a batch of coffee for containing an active ingredient very similar to Viagra. The US Food and Drug Administration says the mysterious boner-brew originated from BestHerbs Coffee LLC, and was labeled as "New of Kopi Jantan …

  1. Pete4000uk

    *Googles 'desmethyl carbodenafil'*

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I tried searching for it but it was too hard.

      1. Blank-Reg
        Trollface

        I'd suggest you search for something different to help with that...

  2. This post has been deleted by its author

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reminds me...

    She who will be obeyed (aka The Wife) is a pharmacist. One day a dude rolls up to the counter asking for a free sample pack of.... Viagra. Yes, it is a prescription drug in this part of the world as well. No, there are no free samples of that kind of stuff - they only hand out things like moisturizing hand lotion, packs of tissue, etc. (in this context: makes me grin. A lot.)

    At least she and her colleagues had a good laugh that day - this is among the top ten weird things that happened to her there.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Stories like this are on the rise.

  5. Tromos
    Joke

    Iced coffee?

    On a hot summer's day, there's nothing like an ice-cold fappe.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Do they do a bean version for women?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      > Do they do a bean version for women?

      No, but Ms. Paltrow has a website that does. Even if every medical person that's ever seen it has called it a useless scam.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      VIagra has been shown to help with womens libido.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    its for people that

    work hard

    and play hard...

    I'll get my coat :)

  8. Elmer Phud

    drooping sales?

    re-badged 'willy-med' to meet demands for coffee

    it's just the marketing

    (it's like calling redbush 'tea' ffs!)

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: drooping sales?

      (it's like calling redbush 'tea' ffs!)

      ObPedant:

      Strictly speaking, tea is defined as "leaves steeped in water". So Roibush certainly qualifies. It's only us odd people on the edge of Europe that deem only Camellia Siniinses to be canonical "tea".

      /OP

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: drooping sales?

        or, as described by Dr Who...(a long time ago...)

        "...a noxious infusion of oriental herbs..."

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: drooping sales?

        Pedantry should imply knowledge and correct spelling... Tea is an infusion of "Camellia Sinensis" leaves,

        ; using any other herb means it isn't tea but just an infusion.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    The perfect torture

    She held my hand. She drew me towards her. She gazed into my eyes. She invited me in to her room, and we enjoyed a coffee as she snuggled up to me.

    Then she cordially but firmly wished me good night: of course, she needs her beauty sleep. Returning to the loneliness of my solitary pad, I sighed and nursed the merest hint of a sticky patch.

    But at least it was just ordinary coffee. Now we are to have biochemical weapons in the battle of the sexes.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The perfect torture

      So what you're saying is that the next time a lady invites you in for coffee, and actually gives you coffee, you should be very suspicious...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The perfect torture

        If you get the coffee its already too late...

  10. Chris G

    There seems to be a rising use of unregulated stimulants, somebody needs a stiff talking to.

  11. CAPS LOCK

    "In the States, you'll need a prescription for that sort of thing"...

    ... Such is the grip of the medical establishment in the USA of America you need a prescription for SOLUBLE ASPRIN.

  12. TRT Silver badge

    Yeah, tried that stuff...

    but I couldn't get the lid of the coffee pot to stay down.

    1. Francis Boyle

      So that's why my plunger

      has a habit of spurting hot liquid everywhere.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: So that's why my plunger

        cream & sugar.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Coffee/keyboard

        Re: So that's why my plunger

        It's a long time since school physics. Nice to see a modern reformulation of Boyle's law.

  13. Mandoscottie

    jesus with the amount of coffee i drink a day....

    id be walking round with a boner 24/7......man it would be like i was 19 again :D

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: jesus with the amount of coffee i drink a day....

      I'm not sure why you would need Jesus as well but each to their own.

  14. 0laf Silver badge
    Pint

    Congratulations on meeting your pun count for the month in one article

    1. Adam 1

      I'd have given it one more.

  15. Complicated Disaster
    Mushroom

    Bang for your Buck.

    So is nobody going to comment on the explosive possibilities of it's interaction with nitroglycerin??

  16. David Pearce

    Malaysia has an aphrodisiac herb known as "tongkat ali" which is supposed to be a key ingredient of these "male" drinks. As this is expensive, the products are often adulterated with sildenafil

  17. Pirate Dave Silver badge
    Pirate

    Yeah

    "The FDA recommends that customers who have the aforementioned ad-dick-tive substance should return it to Bestherbs Coffee LLC"

    Good luck with that...

  18. Alistair
    Windows

    I'm of the breed that if there's too much blood in my caffeine stream, its best to walk away and leave me to get caffeinated.

    This stuff would not be good for me -- but an associate who's BP levels have been miles too high for a couple of years is on a dose of BP meds, which would *not* play well with this. I rather suspect it might be fatal. Especially since the silly bugger takes benadryl on occasion. (look *that* mother$$$ compound up for 'interactions')

    So basically, someone's been selling this stuff as a performance enhancer in the past and just decided to sell it as "coffee" on the store shelves in some woo-factory outlet?

  19. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
    Happy

    Normally coffee's what you have, after a stiff drink...

  20. sisk

    Given that it was marketed as a male enhancement product I suspect most of the men drinking it are aware of the extra ingredient. Let's just hope that their wives didn't grab a cup of coffee though.

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