back to article Samsung stalls Bixby launch because it am English not so good

Samsung is again delayed the Bixby voice assistant in the US because its English not so good with skills. More data is needed on the way Americans talk to there phones to tell it to do stuff which is apparently hard for not-American English speaking people to understand. We literally don't no why its like so hard. Bixby is …

  1. Ugotta B. Kiddingme


    well play, very goodly. That is awl.

    1. DJV Silver badge

      Re: guffaw

      Admit it - you work for Engrish, don't you!

  2. Steve Aubrey


    "The company Samsung."

    Love the old-world phrasing.

  3. djstardust

    Oh dear

    Can they not stall it for good?

    Having even more slurp on a handset is hardly appealing, is it?

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oh dear

      One day someone will get their entire multinational company to copy Google, only to find it was one of the famous Google April Fools they copied!

  4. Andy Non Silver badge


    My buttery is goating too hot. It mite catch fur!

    1. DuncanL

      Re: Hilp!

      Officer Crabtree, your French is improving...

    2. Captain DaFt

      Re: Hilp!

      "My buttery is goating too hot. It mite catch fur!"

      Eye sea watch ewe dither. ☺

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    When not first language English then understand is difficult in the meantime.

    I used to get great pleasure reading instructions on motherboards and various cards many years ago, "make insert pci correct" was my favourite.

    1. Youngone Silver badge

      If Samsung are using Korean programmers to develop Bixby they are making a mistake.

      I'm sure if they asked around they could find some people whose first language is English.

      Of course having a bunch of Californians develop Bixby won't help if they want to sell phones in Newcastle (NSW or Tyneside).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        They're not listening

        Of course having a bunch of Californians develop Bixby won't help if they want to sell phones in Newcastle (NSW or Tyneside).

        It probably doesn't matter where the programmers were from, including if they are indigenous to the intended market. Bixby (like its Apple and Google equivalents) is a pile of steaming shit that nobody asked for. If Samsung want to really sell handsets, then I can help them: What the world wants is an order of magnitude improvement in battery life, and not catching fire. What the world couldn't give a toss about is pathetic, useless "virtual assistants".

        FFS, Samsung, grow up! Stop slavishly copying other companies, and play to your strengths, rather than playing second fiddle to theirs. Oooh, and start supporting your handsets for longer, as well as stopping filling them with crappy Sammobloatware that we can't delete.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: They're not listening

          I'd say the basic functionality is nice, but need not be replicated hundred fold. "Play music" or more precisely "play this specific band/track etc" is nice quality of life style functionality.

      2. nijam Silver badge

        > ...if they want to sell phones in Newcastle

        They have a phone service there?

    2. Captain DaFt

      - "make insert pci correct" was my favourite.-

      Mine was: "Warning! Low battery may cause errotic(sic) function"

    3. veti Silver badge

      I always enjoyed "Do not dip switches".

      1. jake Silver badge

        "Offer up the assembly." always amused me.

    4. KLane

      How about: (From a mini-keyboard instruction sheet)

      "After the flying squirrel and a TV remote control have been infrared transmitter aligned...."

      "The cursor can move swimmingly means the pairing has succeeded."

      "Loosen the finger then light go out"

    5. WereWoof

      Many years ago the instruction on a Japanese portable cassette read "Insert 4 "D" batteries up the backside". I kept the booklet for years but eventually lost it in a move.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    When Sam Sung Bixby ready.

    Samantha is Fat.

    Samantha goes by Sam.

    Samantha sings.

    See Samantha sing?

    Bixby ready when Sam Sung.

  7. Gary F

    Lucky US. Bixby is bilge.

    I would have paid a premium to REMOVE Bixby from my S8. It's awful, useless and annoying. How do I disable that hardware Bixby button or reassign it to something useful? Samsung's instructions point to a setting that doesn't exist. Bixby vision is equally useless.

    The US are lucky to have escaped Bixby for now. How do you say "take this Bixby bilge off my phone" in Korean?

  8. PhilipN Silver badge


    Article funny, but then I realised most likely we all understood all of it instantly anyway.

    So Mr. Sam Sung please just keep and spread widely Bixby Pidgin so we can make it through the day and have a mild chuckle from time to time.

    P.S. With apologies to all Across-the-Ponders (since it is only partly your fault) but, I was like, the article was a good deal more, like, literate than what you hear from kids in public when, like, every other, like, word is ..... OK you get the point. May I suggest the kids just copy us Scousers and save up all the "likes" and just put one at the end of every sentence instead.

    1. Swarthy

      Re: Point?

      May I suggest the kids just copy us Scousers and save up all the "likes" and just put one at the end of every sentence instead.

      I thought you just ended every sentence with "innit", innit?

  9. Anonymous Coward

    I'd love a phone that spoke to me in Chinglish, or Koringlish or whatever

    That would be great fun. It's a feature, not a bug.

  10. Aggie60

    There are times when monkeys fall from trees.

  11. bertkaye

    Not just phones; in future all meatbags talk to robots good

    Self-driving car: Where to go, fleshpile?

    Me: You stupid machine! Learn to speak proper English! Go to hell!

    Self-driving car: Set course to concrete pillar. Set speed to 666 KPH. Lock doors; disconnect usermic. Engaging throttle.

  12. FozzyBear

    Man that hard was to read.


  13. Dave 12

    "the way Americans talk to there phones"

    Looks like your English is not any better.

    1. Seanie Ryan

      Re: "the way Americans talk to there phones"

      oh the ironing !!!

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "There are times when monkeys fall from trees."

    But only humans try to climb trees that aren't there.

    1. jake Silver badge

      "But only humans try to climb trees that aren't there."

      You've never seen squirrels wasted on fermenting fruit ...

  15. Neil 32

    Only monkey puzzle trees though

    Good start to a soggy northern English day! Was that a story translated to Korean then back into English?

    Serious point though - why do companies that make Android phones insist on duplicating all the Google stuff with their own bloatware? How much cheaper would phones be if we didn't have to fund all that R&D into apps that never get used and just end up taking up space and resources? (I know - they wouldn't be any cheaper, but I can dream!)

  16. Anthony 13

    People are aware that there are cultures that use phones...

    ... and speak languages other than English, right?

    Real question - does anyone know how Bixby compares to Google or Apple when it comes to SE Asian languages, particularly Korean? Are they all equally awful in other languages as well?

    I understand we are an English speaking audience, but the media don't tend to dig very deep on this.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Samsung very kindly "loaned" my company some S8s to "evaluate". First thing I did was install a Bixby killer app...

  18. Mint Sauce


    Birb? Is that you? How am then baggels?

  19. jwb

    Finally an article on this site that's like, literally easy to read! Keep up the good editing and ur gonna get lots more readers from the west coast. Good job, brah!

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like