back to article Ex-NASA bod on Gwyneth Paltrow site's 'healing' stickers: 'Wow. What a load of BS'

Current and former NASA scientists have called bullshit on claims seen on alternative "wellness" wallet-relieving blab-blog Goop, run by former famous actress and current linens-for-rich-ladies slinger Gwyneth Paltrow. The "lifestyle" website – which in the past has advocated adding arbitrary amounts of iodine to your daily …

  1. Blank Reg

    She lied to us? I'm shocked. Next you'll be telling me those jade eggs that I've been keeping in the "incubator" aren't going to hatch into jade chickens.

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      Erm, did you not get the memo?

    2. FuzzyWuzzys
      Happy

      Jade eggs? You sure those came from Goop and not LoveHoney?!

      1. hplasm
        Coat

        Jade eggs?

        One man's Goop is another gal's Love Honey...

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      An incubator is probably better than where you're supposed to put them.

      I'd be tempted to stick one up my arse if it was guaranteed to re-balance my chi said no one ever.

    4. Spacedinvader
      Trollface

      If you walk it for 10km it'll hatch into a shit pokemon

      1. eldakka

        If you walk it for 10km it'll hatch into a shit pokemon

        Are they in high demand from pokemon go players?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    There's nothing wrong with wearable stickers

    I get a 'brave boy' sticker each time I go to the dentist and it definitely helps!

    1. Roq D. Kasba

      Re: There's nothing wrong with wearable stickers

      These are special, protective stickers. Wear one and stand in the middle of the road, cars just bounce off.

    2. hplasm
      Coat

      Re: There's nothing wrong with wearable stickers

      "I get a 'brave boy' sticker each time I go to the dentist and it definitely helps!"

      Get over it- you are the Dentist, after all!

      1. Alex C

        Re: There's nothing wrong with wearable stickers

        And a very brave dentist he is too :-)

  3. Chris G

    High level spirit

    Triple distilled vodka seems to help a lot of people looking for a,spirit with answers

    1. gv
      Pint

      Re: High level spirit

      I've not come across a wellness problem that can't be solved with a glass or two of a single malt.

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: High level spirit

        solved with a glass or two of a single malt.

        Fond as I am of the Holy Water of Life as made in [Scotland, Ireland, Wales, England[1], India[2], Japan], I'm rather more into red wine at the moment.

        [1] Yes - we have a proper, licensed whisky distillery. The Chapter 14 release from The English Whisky Company[3] is a very, very fine thing.

        [2] Strange as it might sound, I had a bottle of Indian Whisky recently and it was rather drinkable. Can't remember the name though.

        [3] I have no affiliation with them. I wish I did cos then I might be able to get a discount..

        1. Blitheringeejit
          Pint

          You missed out the French...

          ...who brew a rather lovely single malt in Brittany. Apparently after the Roman retreat, a largely empty Brittany was repopulated by celts from Wales, who brought not only their language (which evolved into Breton), but also their distilling skills.

          Because it's Friday, and there's no single malt icon ---------------^

          1. What? Me worry?

            Re: You missed out the French...

            ...and Germans. Rather, the Bavarians. Who started up a lovely little number in the late nineties. The first bottlings were a bit young but I think they sorted it out now. Some good stuff coming out of North America, too. :)

            1. This post has been deleted by its author

            2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

              Re: You missed out the French...

              ... and the Austrians.

              Some very promising developments in Tyrol over the last couple of years, I'll be investigating further on-site in October.

          2. Jonathan Richards 1
            Boffin

            OT Re: You missed out the French...

            "...a largely empty Brittany was repopulated..."

            I think you might have got the ebb and flow of Celtic ethnic groups, driven by the forces of Romans, Goths, Saxons, Vikings, Normans, and others, a bit the wrong way up. Welsh, Cornish and Bretons were just a sub-set of the Celts pushed into the far western parts of their respective lands. Similarly, the other main linguistic group was pushed into (or maintained their identity within) the far north. The Romans withdrew their legions, right, but they didn't up sticks and forcibly de-populate swathes of the landscape.

        2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: High level spirit

          "I had a bottle of Indian Whisky recently and it was rather drinkable. Can't remember the name though."

          Are the drinkability and failure to remember connected in any way?

        3. Ceiling Cat
          Pint

          Re: High level spirit

          [2] Strange as it might sound, I had a bottle of Indian Whisky recently and it was rather drinkable. Can't remember the name though.

          Could it have been one of the many products from Amrut?

          Only Indian Whisky distiller I know of at the moment, although there may be others.

          1. Paul Woodhouse

            Re: High level spirit

            Paul John is a good Indian whisky maker

  4. 45RPM Silver badge

    This really gets on my tits. There’s no miracle to wellness - it’s all well known science. Eat healthily (well, most of the time), drink in moderation, exercise hard and do something to keep yourself mentally fit (chess, reading, programming…) There are no shortcuts, and putting stickers all over yourself to rebalance your chakra (?) is just as nuts as rearranging your workstation to promote the flow of ch’i instead of rearranging it so that it’s more comfortable to work at.

    Still, I suppose, if the only people getting conned are the people who are into this shit, and if they feel better once their wallet has been suitably lightened, where’s the harm?

    1. TonyJ

      "...Still, I suppose, if the only people getting conned are the people who are into this shit, and if they feel better once their wallet has been suitably lightened, where’s the harm?..."

      On the one hand, I tend to agree.

      But on the other hand, you do get idiots who believe this kind of crap to the extent that they then start to believe the other crap about how medicines and medicinal science are all some big conspiracy to keep us ill.

      Which, to be fair, if an adult is stupid enough to buy into it then good luck to them but then when they start to project those beliefs onto kids it becomes beyond harmful.

      Silly us eh, preferring science and the scientific method over some random claims by actresses et al.

      1. Martin an gof Silver badge

        Silly us eh, preferring science and the scientific method over some random claims by actresses et al.

        The thing is, that when even supposedly rational types espouse things like Denon's £1,000/m network cable (which I think they've stopped selling anyway), and the normally fairly down-to-earth Richer Sounds sells a 1m USB cable for £145, it's no good shouting at the non-scientific thoughts of mobile clothes horses.

        I was particularly annoyed with Denon, because I used their professional broadcast-quality kit in a previous life and it was worth the money.

        M.

        1. Davegoody

          A fool and their money are easily parted

          Some people just love to spend money of utter crap..... (to steal a phrase from a certain Mr Ratner).... I spend a lot of my hard-earned on tech, but I earn money back from it, so it's (mostly) justifiable (to the better-half)..

          It's like the snake-oil of hifi, gold-plated OPTICAL Cables ? Give me a break..... £1k for a "directional" Ethernet cable for high-end hifi..... Pseudo-science at best, dangerous at worst !

          I literally laughed out loud and spat my tea all over my keyboard, clicking the link to the toilet roll holder, thus prompting some more Tech expenditure, when

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "Silly us eh, preferring science and the scientific method over some random claims by actresses et al"

        No different from the Royal Touch - or Papal blessings - or religious relics that are still treated as cure-alls today even in developed countries like Germany.

        It was announced today that Turkey's national education curriculum will stop teaching evolution to secondary school pupils. "Education official says students too young to understand 'controversial subject'" It will only be taught at universities.

        1. 45RPM Silver badge

          It would seem that we are entering a new Dark Age, where facts* are deprecated in favour of a faddy idea or 'alternative fact' which props ups the loudmouth of the day.

          @TonyJ and @AC make a good point about how this is harmful when kids are taught this bullshit.

          As far as Monster cables et al go though, I just laugh - especially when the music being played is from a digital source**, and especially a compressed one.

          I use cheap cable (£7 for 30m), decent speakers (Mordaunt Short), decent separates (mostly NAD, with a little Sony and some Technics for good measure) and keep the cable runs as short as possible. It's a setup which, to my ears, is brutal on bad MP3 rips (better off with a cheap stereo - a good one will throw the compression artefacts into sharp relief!) and sublime with lossless and good quality CD or better recordings.

          * in the sense of something which is demonstrably provable or can be shown to have happened.

          ** not that digital audio is bad - my ears certainly aren't good enough to tell the difference between a good MP3 and a CD, for example - but technically, a good analogue recording on a format like reel to reel should be better than CD because the CD has been sampled (at 44kHz) and the analogue recording hasn't. It's just that, even if the marketing lies of super expensive cables are true, the sample rate will have a much larger impact on the quality of the sound vs. the deficiencies of the lower quality cable.

          1. andy 103
            WTF?

            @45RPM

            Sorry but whenever anyone starts talking about their home audio/HIFI setup - you're really no better than Paltrow et al.

            There's never been so much bullshit talked especially when it comes to cables and interconnects with HIFI enthusiast twats. Essentially all that matters is this - if it sounds good to you, great. Nobody else needs to know, or gives a shit, what set up you use. In fact this applies to most other things people discuss on this site - if you're happy using your custom made Linux PC then great for you, if you use a Mac and it works for you, that's fine. What does it matter to anyone else, and why do you think they care what you specifically use or do?

            It's the amount of BS that's talked by such people (including Paltrow) that really gets on peoples tits. If she said I'm selling these stickers and they are a blatant rip off and have no real magical properties, I'd actually have more respect for her and be more likely to buy them!

            1. DJV Silver badge

              Re: @45RPM

              Reminds me of "I saw you coming": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgysRim_zT4

              1. 45RPM Silver badge

                Re: @45RPM

                @DJV

                Or "The Gullibles" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdOT9CEjQC8

            2. 45RPM Silver badge

              Re: @45RPM

              @andy 103

              You see, that's the thing about conversations. They evolve. They disappear off into little curious sidetracks and eventually come back to the original subject via a circuitous route. Or not at all. That's the fun of it.

              @Martin an gof brought up the matter of Hi-Fi and I ran with it. I'm a geek - and yes, I love listening to my stereo. And playing on my computers, with my bikes and my cars*. But your central point was pretty much mine too - "Essentially all that matters is this - if it sounds good to you, great. Nobody else needs to know, or gives a shit, what set up you use. In fact this applies to most other things people discuss on this site - if you're happy using your custom made Linux PC then great for you, if you use a Mac and it works for you, that's fine." Two thumbs up. No point having a fight about this, or much of anything else.

              However as to "why do you think they care what you specifically use or do?" er… because some people do. Not anyones kit specifically - but some people are interested in the minutiae of other people's interests. If you discussed your stereo, I'd be interested in what it was because that tells me a little about what informed your opinion. If you're not interested that's cool. Scoot on to the next comment, maybe (if you're lucky) typed by someone less geeky than me.

              You'll note by the way, that I didn't say that my HiFi / Car / Computer etc is the best and that anyone who has or uses something different is an idiot. As you say, if "it works for you, that's fine."

              The problem, as mentioned elsewhere, is when kids get a thorough education in bullshit and not in actual fact.

              * just messing with you. I know you don't like going off on a tangent - accept my apologies.

            3. pleb

              Re: @45RPM

              "If she said I'm selling these stickers and they are a blatant rip off and have no real magical properties, I'd actually have more respect for her and be more likely to buy them!"

              Gerald Ratner already tried that approach. It didn't work out well for him.

            4. fruitoftheloon
              Pint

              @andy 103: Re: @45RPM

              Andy,

              it's a shame I can only give you one upvote! I say this not in jest, have you considered going into politics?

              I'd vote for you matey...

              Cheers,

              Jay

              1. Peter2 Silver badge

                Re: @andy 103: @45RPM

                The problem, as mentioned elsewhere, is when kids get a thorough education in bullshit and not in actual fact.

                Close. Very close.

                The problem is essentially that kids get a through education in "argumentum ad verecundiam", that of the argument from authority. "Trust me, I know because I'm the teacher." or "the book says so, and the book is right". Teaching via this methods encourages charlatans to come out with people saying "this has SCIENCE in it. BELEIVE my claims or be ANTI SCIENCE", despite this approach actually being religion, not science. Science merely asks that you observe and record carefully, and tell other people the results in a coherent manner to ensure that they can confirm the same result so they can test your claim out if they think it's wrong. Nothing more.

                Secondly, ever longer periods of education leads the people leaving the education system to think that they are all knowing, in a classic Dunning-Kruger effect rather than realising that for the most part they are merely being trained to a point that employers have some confidence it's worth paying them while providing further training and paying for somebody else to be providing the training.

            5. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
              Joke

              Re: @45RPM

              "if you're happy using your custom made Linux PC then great for you, if you use a Mac and it works for you, that's fine."

              Fair enough. But how do you feel about Windows(tm)(r) users?

            6. Mooseman Silver badge

              Re: @45RPM

              "Sorry but whenever anyone starts talking about their home audio/HIFI setup - you're really no better than Paltrow et al"

              No, not really. Like a bottle of wine, you get what you pay for, by and large. Yes, there is a lot of nonsense about hi-fi components, very emperor's new clothes.

              Cheap stereo systems are fine if you don't care what the music sounds like particularly, or use an mp3 as your main sound source. Spend a little more and you can hear a definite improvement. Where the silly stuff happens is when the hi-fi buff spends ridiculous amounts of money to gain an imperceptible increase in sound quality, by the time most people can afford that level of kit their ears have degraded to the point of making it a waste of time and money.

              I had a fairly cheap hi-fi, which sounded ok. I got hold of a very expensive one, and yes it sounds substantially better (Quad 900 series if anyone is bothered), but only if I have the time to sit and listen. My wife's appalling music still sounds dreadful :)

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            digital sound input

            Digital to Analogue Converters are not all equally good.

            1. DropBear
              Joke

              Re: digital sound input

              "Digital to Analogue Converters are not all equally good."

              What do you mean? Sure they are! Silicon...? Luxury! When I was a kid, we had to listen to our digital media with resistor ladder DACs fashioned from graphite pencil lead, and we did fine!

              1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

                Re: digital sound input

                digital media with resistor ladder DACs fashioned from graphite pencil lead, and we did fine

                You had digital media? Luxury! We 'ad all us fingers chopped off t'feed t'whippet and had to knit us replacements using us teeth and whatever bits of broken glass we could pull out of t'bed..

                Kids today eh?

              2. Martin an gof Silver badge

                Re: digital sound input

                re: resistor ladders

                I was suitably amazed when Gert's VGA Adapter for the Raspberry Pi appeared, using GPIO pins and a ladder network to provide up to 1920x1200 pixels, albeit only at 18 bits...

                M.

          3. Snow Hill Island

            "I use cheap cable (£7 for 30m)"

            I use twin and earth cable, because it's what I had hanging round in the garage, but cheap doorbell wire would probably have been good enough. And I'd bet that no matter what I spend on cables, it won't sound any better despite them being the analogue part of the path in my setup. Once you've got a decent cross section of copper in your speaker wire, it's the quality of your DAC, amplifier and speakers that matter, so long as you route the speaker cables sensibly, and remember not to wire them into the mains... :-)

            1. Martin an gof Silver badge

              I use twin and earth cable

              T&E is a bit difficult to work with, being somewhat stiff. When I engineered at a local radio station, my boss was quite partial to using 1mm2, 1.5mm2 or 2.5mm2 mains flex for speaker cables. The copper is about as pure as specialist cables and (if you use the 3-core variety) there's a "twist" in the cable which is always a good idea. Sounds at least as good as dedicated speaker cable (and better than some thin bell-wire) and pretty cheap to boot - about 50p/m from TLC, for example.

              It's even possible to get 4-core cable which you could use for bi-amping purposes.

              More for your PA gear than at home, mains flex comes in some very robust formats and works particularly well in Speakon connectors, and with some amplifiers having two speaker outputs on one connector, wiring speakers up is a doddle.

              Off topic? Me?

              M.

          4. King Jack
            Holmes

            reel to reel should be better than CD because the CD has been sampled (at 44kHz)

            Reel to reel has a resolution of about 12bits, CD has a bit depth of 16bits. Sampling at 44.1kHz covers all the frequencies a human can hear. I'll leave it to you to which sounds better. Reel to reel is the definition of BS.

            1. Martin an gof Silver badge

              Re: reel to reel should be better than CD because the CD has been sampled (at 44kHz)

              Reel to reel has a resolution of about 12bits,

              Citation needed. Reel-to-reel is certainly not BS.

              I'd contend that "bits" isn't really "resolution", it's "dynamic range" and yes, I'll grant that tape in general doesn't have a fantastic dynamic range compared with some things, but 12 bits?

              As for resolution, this (for tape) depends to a huge extent on the speed of the tape and the formulation of the tape (bias frequencies etc.). A good cassette might have a usable bandwidth of 12kHz - equivalent to a digital resolution (sample rate) of 24 or 25kHz, but home reel-to-reel ran faster and had wider tracks; 3¾ips was a common speed, and twice that of cassette, but home players usually had 7½ips and maybe 15ips options, and 30ips was common in studios.

              Track width has a bearing on analogue noise, as does tape speed, and in theory digital sources should be free if this kind of noise, but they can introduce noises of their own, many of which are not as pleasant to the human ear.

              Given a good formulation of tape, a well set-up recorder and player and a decent source, ¼" tape could outperform CD for bandwidth, if not often for dynamic range (not having any figures to hand, I'd suggest that it came close with metal tapes).

              But comparisons are difficult because the recording and playback mechanisms are fundamentally different and other factors also come into play; digital media never suffers from "wow" or "flutter", for example, or simply not being at quite the right speed. As for convenience...

              M.

          5. katgod

            45RPM, don't you know that digital music sounds best when going through the longest thinest wire available? This aligns all the bits so the distortion from sampling is removed and all the frequencies above 30 kHz are removed making the music less harsh.

      3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        "when they start to project those beliefs onto kids it becomes beyond harmful"

        As in http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-40274493

    2. David Nash
      FAIL

      Where's the harm?

      The harm comes about when they believe all this crap and so-called alternative medicine* is going to heal them or their loved ones of real diseases. Placebo effect notwithstanding, there have been cases of people dying because they trusted in the power of positive thinking or in homeopathy rather than the best that medical science can offer, however nasty the latter is, it is at least normally based on some evidence that it can help.

      *What do you call alternative medicine that works? Yes, you guessed it, "medicine".

      1. 's water music
        Trollface

        Re: Where's the harm?

        there have been cases of people dying because they trusted in the power of positive thinking or in homeopathy rather than the best that medical science can offer

        such as dead Steve Jobs...

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Where's the harm?

          dead Steve Jobs

          I think he still posts on Twuttir.

    3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      if they feel better once their wallet has been suitably lightened, where’s the harm?

      I refer the honourable slice of rotation vinyl to the statement by the late Mr P. T. Barnum when he said "there's one born every minute" and to the collorary "and I'm a-going to get my share"..

    4. Chris G

      @45RPM, if this stuff gets on your tits, try reading about 'Human Design' http://humandesign.net/human_design.html

      The New Age Arsehole who came up with this stuff spends much of his time in Ibiza ( Unfortunately the place attracts them). I had the misfortune a couple of birthdays back to sit next to one of his acolytes when out celebrating with a Chinese meal. After listening to pseudo scientific woo woo bullshit designed to get the guy into his new, gullible partner's knickers, for 45 minutes I managed to move to another table before being overcome by the urge to belt this wally around the lughole.

    5. tfewster
      Facepalm

      Who said it was about YOUR wellness? I bet the peddlers bank account is quite healthy right now.

  5. graeme leggett Silver badge

    Paltrow and Goop - a mine of woo

    Enough to keep Dr Jennifer Gunter occupied

    https://drjengunter.wordpress.com/category/bad-goop-advice/

  6. wolfetone Silver badge

    Here's the number one top wellness tip that celebrities don't want you to know:

    Be a fucking millionaire.

    1. Old69

      Be a fucking m billionaire.

      FTFY

      Some modern long term medications are priced at eye-watering rates.

      The drastic life-shortening ill-effects of the "Celtic" variation of the inherited Cystic Fibrosis condition can be almost eliminated by the Kalydeco "wonder drug" pills. Children waiting for lung transplants were able to run and swim within weeks of using the pills..

      Unfortunately as the number of sufferers is quite small then the drug company initially sought to recoup their R&D by asking USD300,000 for a year's supply per person.

    2. Hollerithevo

      I want to be healed!!

      I have so many persistent aches and pains that would vanish with one application of a ton of money it doesn't seem fair or ethical do deny me this sure-fire cure-all.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Here's the number one top..."

      The first tip to become a millionaire quickly and easily: use a (former) celebrity to sell BS to gullible people.

      Plus: the internet is the best place to find gullible people.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Here's the number one top..."

        "the internet is the best place to find gullible people."

        Argh, should I believe this or not?

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: "Here's the number one top..."

        The first tip to become a millionaire

        Is to have rich parents. And to ensure that any remnants of empathy, commpassion or fellow-feeling are excised well before your first birthday.

        As a case study, I present a certain D Trump.

  7. Doctor Huh?

    What a shock that smart and pretty are uncorrelated

    Because I always take medical advice from the best looking people available, degrees be damned.

    1. Sherrie Ludwig

      Re: What a shock that smart and pretty are uncorrelated

      Paltrow is an actress, my primary physician is, while a nice-looking lady, not an actress. I do not confuse them. Can't understand why people do get these things confused.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Let's be honest here it's sellotape for tw*ts in a nice box sprinkled with bullshit.

  9. Marco van de Voort

    graphite?

    graphite is a conductive carbon "material", and used as a filler in many substances ?

    1. DJO Silver badge

      Re: graphite?

      I can supply a precision made cylinder of pure natural graphite enrobed in a hexagonal wooden substrate with a sun-yellow gloss finish, a snip at £999.99 each (bulk discount negotiable).

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: graphite?

        I can supply a precision made cylinder of pure natural graphite enrobed in a hexagonal wooden substrate

        Surely it would be pointless after going through the tender mercies of the postal system!

        PS: Do you hand-deliver? Or is delivery extra?

        1. Swarthy

          Re: graphite?

          It may be pointless after shipping, but I am certain that for a few hundred quid extra, a precision rotating ...

          Screw it, I'm not that good at this (which explains why I still have to work for a living). He'll see you a pencil sharpener dressed up w/ fancy words and charge £x00 for it. Maybe £x000 for an electrical one with extra woo an' fancy words.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: graphite?

        "[...] cylinder of pure natural graphite enrobed in a hexagonal wooden substrate [..]"

        That will give me a market for my pyramid storage cases which will keep it charged.**

        Also a version containing a crystal suspended by gold wires. It will convert your thoughts into electrical power to charge your mobile.***

        **IIRC the originals were sold to mysteriously keep your razor blades sharp indefinitely.

        *** on a larger scale it was said to need the concentrated thoughts of a whole New Age community to produce enough electricity to eventually make them independent of the national grid.

    2. katgod

      Re: graphite?

      Marco,

      Also used as "lead" in pencils if you remember those.

  10. Edward Clarke

    "Seriously, he "converses with a high-level spirit" about medical problems."

    Just a thought, but he's communing with a dead guy - probably one who took the "radium water" cure in the early twentieth century. If earlier, then probably someone who used strychnine as a snake bite cure ( I have an old 19th century book that recommends this ).

  11. Hans 1
    Coffee/keyboard

    William famously gets to the bottom of his patients’ misunderstood illnesses and helps them heal using wisdom passed on to him from a divine voice he calls Spirit.

    src: http://goop.com/why-we-shouldnt-dismiss-iodine/

    cf icon ... this one will do: https://www.artlebedev.com/optimus/maximus/

    PS: People who hear voices usually suffer from Schizophrenia ... just sayin'

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      People who hear voices usually suffer from Schizophrenia

      I hear ya.

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: People who hear voices usually suffer from Schizophrenia

        I hear ya.

        Burn the witch!

        Or are you a duck? Sometimes I forget the difference..

  12. heyrick Silver badge

    Remind me...

    ...why is this so-called company not being done for fraud and deception?

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Remind me...

      Scammers like this usually have a Quack Miranda on their web site, in the mistaken belief that it absolves them of all responsibility, but I'm damned if I'm going to spend precious seconds of life trawling the Goop shitpit for one.

      The main reason there are so few prosecutions for deception is that it's America and far too many people in positions of power think that people must be free to scam and be scammed -- caveat emptor. If you want a prime example of how bad this can get, read up on the decades of dealings between the Texas State Medical Board and Dr Stanislaw Burzynski (if you have the stomach for it).

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Remind me...

        Whereas in Britain (*) they could sue you for libel for daring to question the effectiveness, and would win unless you could prove that they were deliberately trying to trick people and weren't just idiots.

        * until recently when Simon Singh spent a million quid trying to defend himself. But it's still the law in N Ireland.

  13. Hans 1
    Facepalm

    No, serisouly ... you don't have to be chemist to get this one

    C is the Heavenly option

    https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/vitamin-c-booster?taxon_id=549

    Actually, skip that, this is even better:

    $52 for a potato peeler:

    https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/standard-peeler?taxon_id=615

    1. 's water music

      Re: No, serisouly ... you don't have to be chemist to get this one

      Vitamin woo? Don't have to be a chemist?

      Upvoting for Linus Pauling ref but also crying a little

  14. Frank Bitterlich
    Alien

    Skin marks...

    From the Goop page:

    "P.S. Leaving them on for the prescribed three-day period left a few goop staffers with marks on their skin, so be careful to stick them somewhere concealable if you’ve got an event coming up."

    Maybe the "frequency" was somehow wrong.

    1. hplasm
      Happy

      Re: Skin marks...

      "so be careful to stick them somewhere concealable..."

      :s/skin/skid/ marks...

    2. katgod

      Re: Skin marks...

      Frank,

      They forgot to talk to Kenneth.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    the "healing power" of "energy stickers"

    There's a phrase which I've had to use a few times this morning already, but it seems appropriate to repeat it here.....

    What the f*** is this s***?!?!

    1. Haku

      Re: the "healing power" of "energy stickers"

      Same here when I saw that picture of her with someone on the linkedin page and they appear to be drinking out of jam jars.

      WTF is wrong with an ordinary glass?

      Goddamn hipsters!

  16. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    I think she operates on the principle expounded in one of Murphy's Laws:

    It is immoral to let suckers keep their money

    Either that or she actually believes that bovine excrement, in which case she sadly perpetuates the stereotype of the dumb blond (and I know plenty of highly intelligent blonds to know it is nothing but a stereotype)

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      I think she operates on the principle expounded in one of Murphy's Laws:

      It is immoral to let suckers keep their money

      Isn't that a quote from a Heinlein quote? From one of the later "I'm writing from Another Place[1]" books?

      [1] Not in the AC Clarke sense..

  17. Fading

    Placebo

    I for one thoroughly recommend placebos and believe they should be used more frequently in modern medicine. Given the amount of antibiotics that are handed out for little reason, a cheaper placebo with no known side effects (to be fair no known effects either) would be a better general solution.

    1. Trilkhai

      Re: Placebo

      That would be fine *if* prescription was strictly limited to people that aren't reporting any symptoms that could belong to anything more troubling than a cold virus. There's still far too many people who report red-flag symptoms, but who aren't taken seriously by the doctor/nurse they talk to. Right now, the doctor at least has to either admit they can't do anything, dedicate more time to researching the issue, treat based on a similar condition, or suggest something clearly non-medical**, giving the patient the chance to seek real care elsewhere. It'd be too tempting to many doctors to be able to avoid the discomfort or risk in those options by simply prescribing sugar pills with the false claim they'll 'cure' the person.

      **I saw a neurologist in my 20s for sudden balance issues, intermittent weakness on one side, tremors, neck muscle spasms, etc. only to be told condescendingly that "girls your age are under a lot of stress, you should learn to meditate." (A neurosurgeon found that I have a tiny abnormality in my skull that forces my brain to herniate a bit into the spinal cord canal, and something had inflamed it enough to cause symptoms. If I'd seen a chiropractor out of desperation instead of getting heavy NSAIDs, the 'adjustment' could easily have caused paralysis or death.)

  18. IHateWearingATie
    Pint

    Why I'm a consultant.

    Most on here get annoyed when they read stuff like this.

    I think "how do I get the contact details of their customers so I can sell equally expensive useless tat to the rich morons"

    I've been told I have no morals - too right, I sold them years ago.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Why I'm a consultant.

      >I've been told I have no morals - too right, I sold them years ago.

      Then you aren't really a consultant.

      A real consultant keeps their morals in a box and charges people to tel them about them

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    joke?

    I wonder if Ms Paltrow is having a huge laugh at the gullibility of people. It some of her nonsense were not dangerous I would laugh too.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: joke?

      She "starred" in Sliding Doors so obviously has a sense of irony.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Really ... there are no words.

    My eyes rolled so hard I had to ask one of my cow-orkers to slap me on the back of the head so I could see straight again.

    Fools and their money, etc.

  21. Terry 6 Silver badge

    open-minded alternatives

    The sort of weasel wording that covers up foisting mindless bullshit onto suckers, by denying that proof has value.

    1. Just Enough

      Re: open-minded alternatives

      Wailing about being "open minded" is a favourite defence of woo-woo proponents. They don't recognise the difference between being open minded (a good thing, we can all agree) and being a gullible idiot ready to swallow anything presented without any evidence or logic, simply because it's dressed up in fancy sounding words.

      1. 尼尔

        Re: open-minded alternatives

        Seems to apply to the perpetrators and the suckers……

        hare·brained

        synonyms: ill-judged, rash, foolish, foolhardy, reckless, madcap, wild, silly, stupid, ridiculous, absurd, idiotic, asinine, imprudent, impracticable, unworkable, unrealistic, unconsidered, half-baked, ill-thought-out, ill-advised, ill-conceived, crackpot, cockeyed, crazy, daft, foolish, silly, idiotic, unintelligent, empty-headed, scatterbrained, featherbrained, birdbrained, pea-brained, brainless, giddy, dippy, dizzy, flaky, dopey, dotty, airheaded

    2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: open-minded alternatives

      "My mind is so open that anything of value has fallen out.."

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Maybe if Gwyneth started selling carbon-fiber movie tickets...

    We'd feel better about going to her films?

    1. Captain DaFt

      Re: Maybe if Gwyneth started selling carbon-fiber movie tickets...

      Nah, the theatre would need to pass out copious amounts of "High level spirits" to have that effect.

  23. bleedinglibertarian

    why are all the hot ones crazy?

    just saying

    1. Haku

      Re: why are all the hot ones crazy?

      There are plenty of ugly ones that are crazy, but because they're ugly nobody pays attention to them.

  24. thomas k

    Dropped by Marvel?

    Could this be the real reason she was dropped by Marvel - constantly trying to hawk this shit to the poor crew when she wasn't on camera?

  25. Arc_Light
    Go

    Re: Denon audio cables

    I'm late to the party, and I'm sure some of you are already aware of this, but for those who are not, the reviews, Q&A and customer images posted here are a shining example of how to handle this sort of thing:

    https://www.amazon.com/Denon-AKDL1-Dedicated-Discontinued-Manufacturer/dp/B000I1X6PM/

    Next assignment: The items on the "Customers who viewed this item also viewed" list. No energy stickers as of yet, but plenty of other gift ideas for the "Gwyneth" in your life.

    PS - For the more scientifically inclined, I recommend books from the Landolt-Börnstein series; sort by "Most reviews" and enjoy.

  26. SirWired 1

    Goop's always good for a laugh

    "Our content is meant to highlight unique products and offerings, find open-minded alternatives."

    More like "empty-minded alternatives"

    I used to think Goop was some kind of ironic parody where Paltrow was plumbing the depths to which IQ's will sink when people read stuff endorsed by a celebrity. But in a world where Donald Trump can get elected president, I don't think that any more.

  27. Andromeda451

    Proud

    PT Barnum would be so proud...

  28. disgruntled yank

    keeping it up

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/11591936/Is-Gwyneth-Paltrow-wrong-about-everything.html

  29. Zebo-the-Fat

    Numbers

    "pre-programmed" to an "ideal frequency" well...... what frequency is it? we need the numbers

  30. Stevie

    Bah!

    These stickers contain no quantums of any kind.

    No wonder they don't work.

    1. Chris G

      Re: Bah!

      Stevie! You made me Google Quantum Healing. Mostly it has been appropriated by a Snake oil senior salesman; Deepak Chopra but there are others in a similar vein who can put quantums into your life.

      https://www.amazon.com/Quantum-Healing-Exploring-Frontiers-Medicine/dp/0739343963

      He also does Quantum Psychology so is clearly a very clever bastard.

      Having read a bit of quantum healing I am considering introducing my new veggy Quantum Entangled Salad, where we entangle whole organically grown carrots with chilli peppers, when inserted rectally (everyone knows rectal application of medicaments reaches the relevant parts more quickly) the surge of quantums will make you say WOW as your immune system is supercharged.

      Only €1700.99 per Carrochili 1% discount if you buy today!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Bah!

        "[...] with chilli peppers, when inserted rectally [...]"

        Would that amount to murder? Plugs of tobacco via that orifice apparently were used to kill people - but I'm feling too paranoid to add that to my Google history.

    2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Bah!

      >These stickers contain no quantums of any kind.

      Did you open the box?

      Warning: wave function will collapse on observing contents

  31. Stevie

    Expensive Toilet Paper Holder

    The Joséphier will be delivered with an adhesive adapter, to easily fix and remove it to any non-porous surface without leaving any marks. Alternatively, it can be mechanically mounted to all other types of surfaces.

    Translation: It comes with double-sided sticky tape to glue it to tile, or, after the thing has fallen off the tile in the first warm day or when the thermostat gets hacked by some kid, or if you have wallpapered walls in your bog, you can go to Home Despot, buy some screws and do the job properly.

    Because if you've dropped 500 bux on this idiot thing another 10 for screws and wallplugs ain't gonna break the bank. And who are you kidding? If you bought this you also hired a team of men with Central American names to mount it on your bathroom wall.

  32. PhilipN Silver badge

    (£47 – cheap!)

    Thanks for the MAD Magazine nod.

    And now we know where you got your inspiration to go into media : what you read while sitting on the loo (can or john for US's)

    To maintain the stance I'm gonna come back later and see if I can downvote my own post.

  33. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    WE used to have individual squares of toilet paper too

    But ours wasn't tied up with a poxy ribbon. It was nailed to back of the bog door!

    (we couldn't afford Izal and their fancy cardboard boxes!)

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Actually, eating well makes me ill.

    I have an auto-immune problem,, anything that makes my immune system "better", makes it try and kill me faster. I deliberately eat things I have anti-bodies to, because they distract my immune system.

    As for the report, this bit got me

    "that its current spacesuit"

    Expect her next con to be about spacesuits made of fruit, or that this carbon is from an advanced, new spacesuit, so advanced they arent even using it yet.

    Paltrow, embodies the phrase "Dumb Blonde"

  35. This post has been deleted by its author

  36. herman Silver badge

    Wot? No carbon fibre in space suits? Just think how much better the space suits would work if the suits were lined with carbon fibre and they could rebalance the astronaut's energy flow!

  37. ecofeco Silver badge

    Only in America

    Only in America and other 2nd and 3rd countries is this quackery legal.

    Simply stunning.

  38. Winkypop Silver badge
    FAIL

    WooWoo peddlers and fools

    In great company, made for each other.

  39. Rattus Rattus

    Damnit

    Why can't I just put away my ethics and become rich selling shit to idiots?

  40. eldakka

    it claimed were "made with the same conductive carbon material NASA uses to line space suits so they can monitor an astronaut's vitals during wear".

    Well, considering the internals of the space suit when in use is filled with a carbon-based life form that is reasonably conductive, and that is able to relay back to mission control information about it's vitals - "heart is beating a bit fast, sweating a lot, and I wish those aliens would stop distracting me from my work...", maybe they aren't too far wrong?

  41. Milton

    The weirdest, saddest thing of all

    The weirdest, saddest thing of all is that actually it's far more interesting and infinitely more rewarding to actually go and get a science education and learn how things really are: how endlessly fascinating and remarkable the world really is, when you peel back the layers to see how it all works. Reality is much more thrilling than the childish, simplistic and really rather pathetic faux "knowledge" or "wisdom" that these clowns immerse themselves in. Evolution gave them enquiring and curious brains—which they promptly waste on spiritualistic drivel that should embarrass an educated ten-year-old.

    It's a wasteland of misguidedness that they share with conspiracy lunatics. Learning about climate science, for example, is surely much more satisfying and ultimately rewarding than setting a bonfire of calories in your one and only brain, trying to twist madly dissonant logic and convince yourself that 10,000 climate scientists are part of a huge, secret plot?

    Superstitionists and conspiracists frequently irritate me, but my better nature pities the poor bastards.

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