Marissa! Mayer! out! as! Yahoo!-Verizon! closes!

Marissa Mayer has officially resigned from Yahoo!, as Verizon's $4.8bn (£3.77bn) gobble of the company closed today. Damage done to the company's value by successful cyber-attacks in 2016 resulted in $350m being cut off the price. The closure of the transaction means Yahoo! as a legal entity is no more. The merged AOL-Yahoo! …

[DagD]

Am I the only one???

...who desperately wished those names would just disappear for good.

[Korev]

Re: Am I the only one???

And! The! Exclamation! Marks! Too!?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Am I the only one???

I don't think Marissa Mayer spells her name with any exclamation marks?

[Anonymous South African Coward]

Oath? Why?

[A. Coatsworth]

From the Merriam Webster's

"oath

noun |\ˈōth\

an offensive or rude word that is used to express anger, frustration, surprise, etc."

That pretty much sums up what happens through my mind when I'm browsing the web and I'm unfortunate enough to find a link that takes me to a tumblr, yahoo or huffpost site... So, I think the name for new division is perfectly adequate.

[Daedalus]

"Oath? Why?"

- so Cockneys could call it by its true name.

[Dwarf]

Oath? Why?

Because then everyone can mix it ups with Oauth and confusion can reign.

I'm sure it makes sense to some marketing person who will have complete desks of WhatsthePoint slides to justify their rationale.

However, in the real world, it just leads to bewilderment.

[Doctor Syntax]

"Oath? Why?"

Seems reasonable. Everyone will swear at it.

[lglethal]

F$ckin Oath....

[Your alien overlord - fear me]

"I'm also brimming with cash and stock options whilst 2000 will be joining me at the unemployment office with a slightly less generous payout." she allegedly said.

[Alistair]

Question is:

Did she post that from her desk in the office,

From the bedroom at home,

from the helicopter on her way to the airport,

From a bedroom in a hotel on an island somewhere?

We need a tumblr of that.... yup yup

<NOT!>

[JLV]

Is it gonna be Oath! or Oath henceforth in El Reg?

Sincerely hoping for the latter! though no coverage of it would suit me fine as well :)

Marissa's tenure was less glorious than initially predicted though, to be fair, the patient was terminally ill irrelevant by the time she showed up. Still, 23M$, not a bad payout for not achieving much is it?

[Anonymous Coward]

Is it gonna be Oath! or Oath henceforth in El Reg?

What's wrong with Oaf?

[aidanstevens]

Will! Miss! Tired! Register! Meme!

[ant 2]

Not! Me! Good! Flipping! Riddance! !!

[Anonymous Coward]

I wouldn't say that "Brilliance" is what Mayer "Inspired". But on the bright side for her, whether she succeeded or failed as their CEO can be debated, but she saw the stock price rise, the company sold off, and netted a tidy some, for herself. The 2000 or so staff who are about to be "Resource Actioned", won't consider Mayer's reign to have been "inspiring", at all.

[Captain DaFt]

"The 2000 or so staff who are about to be "Resource Actioned", won't consider Mayer's reign to have been "inspiring", at all."

Oh, I'm sure she's inspired them to create a few oaths/curses/epithets of their own for her.

[chivo243]

Geronimo!

Happy landings with that golden parachute.

[Mark 85]

Good luck and good riddance. I'm guessing she'll land some place and I feel for the employees of whatever company that will be.

[Mage]

The Oath portfolio includes

"The Oath portfolio includes HuffPost, Yahoo! Sports, AOL.com, MAKERS, Tumblr, Build Studios, Yahoo! Finance, and Yahoo! Mail."

Presumably also Yahoo Groups and Flickr?

[WatAWorld]

buy a company and cut as much of the services, products and work force as you can.

Verizon expects to cut about 15 per cent of the workforce of the new Oath organization, representing the elimination of about 2,000 jobs.

If the new owners do as poorly as Meyer they'll be able to make even bigger cuts.

That seems to be the objective these days, buy a company and cut as much of the services, products and work force as you can.

Heck, wipe out the workforce and company entirely and you get $130 million plus a brass ring.

[J.Smith]

It's called 'streamlining' or 'rationalisation' or 'vulture capitalism', whichever. Buy big, gut the company, make off like a bandit, it's been all the rage since the good old 80's.

[Chairo]

Those $23m...

will hardly buy her a new Lear jet. She might want to stay to create more, er, value. Yes, that's it! Value!

[Florida1920]

Quote

"[E]nd of an era error for Yahoo! "

"I'm brimming with nostalgia, gratitude, and optimism $209 million I won't be sharing with the 2000 brilliant people getting sacked."

FTFY

[Destroy All Monsters]

Rustled my jimmies

"While reaching this moment has certainly been a long road traveled (travelled?), it marks the end of an era for Yahoo!, as well as the beginning of a new chapter – it's an emotional time for all of us. Given the inherent changes to my role, I'll be leaving the company."

The paragraph's turn from auspicious young lady talk into an all-too-sudden "I'll be leaving the company" certainly caused some cognitive dissonance.

[Korev]

Maths

209000000/2000 = 104500 for each employee losing there job; I'd love to know how each person's payout compares to hers...

['s water music]

Analogy

The Oath portfolio includes HuffPost, Yahoo! Sports, AOL.com, MAKERS, Tumblr, Build Studios, Yahoo! Finance, and Yahoo! Mail.

So! Oath! are! SportsDirect! to! Yahoo!'s Dunlop!

One! wonders! when! Oath! will! get! around! to! slurping! Geocities!, FriendsReunited!, etc!

[Christoph]

"Yahoo! as a legal entity is no more"

Will El Reg be holding a sale of all the excess exclamation marks they no longer have a use for?

[Anonymous Coward]

a sale of all the excess exclamation marks?

I believe they're being returned to storage, which had been running dangerously low.

[handleoclast]

A better name

The new entity needs a better name than "Oath." Something that combines Yahoo! and Verizon.

Hmmmmm.

Verihoo? Yazon? Nah, don't really work.

Yazon? Better, but still not good enough.

Yazoo? Close. Very close.

Got it.

Wazoo! Because the new entity will be a load of arse.

[Hero Protagonist]

Re: A better name

Vahoozon

[Jeff from California]

Vahoozon First

What's on second, and third base, I Don't Know.

Abbott & Costello would have been better co-CEOs for the last ten years of Vahoozon's demise, come to think of it.

[Sir Loin Of Beef]

"You've inspired all of us with your brilliance, values, and passion, and I will forever be in awe of you and I will forever be your biggest fan :-)

"Yaho-o-oo!

Marissa"

"Now I'm off to my own island while you dig through the garbage can. Toodles!"