back to article Gordon Ramsay's father-in-law gets six months for hacking sweary super-chef's computer

If chef Gordon Ramsay reprises his TV series Gordon Behind Bars, he could see a familiar face – after his father-in-law was sentenced to six months in jail on hacking charges. Chris Hutcheson, 69 – and the father of Ramsay's wife Tana – used to be the chief executive of Gordon Ramsay Holdings Ltd but was sacked after falling …

  1. NoneSuch Silver badge
    Big Brother

    But, but, but, GCHQ does this too... I'm confused.

    1. Steve Aubrey
      Joke

      Yeah, but they keep quiet about the hair transplants . . .

      1. m0rt

        Because of the bugged follicles?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          >Yeah, but they keep quiet about the hair transplants . . .

          More Slap Gordon than Flash Gordon then ?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Imagine Ramsay going to Germany:

            German: Hello Herr Ramsay

            Ramsay: Are you taking the fucking piss ?

            1. This post has been deleted by its author

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dear old Gordon and his Shit in a Bag Tirade

    What Gordon didn't tell you was that the shit in a bag lamb shanks came from Booker cash and carry and Gordon was the advertising face of Booker at the time, fucking whoops.

    Shhh, we won't mention meals being bused into his restaurants instead of being cooked there.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Pretty much all the celebrity chefs are fake as hell. Gordon imho is more likable than a lot of them. Also do enjoy Bourdain ripping on Guy lol.

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        "Pretty much all the celebrity chefs are fake as hell."
        Are you implying that Nigella Lawson's melons are fake?

        1. Tachikoma
          Devil

          Are you implying that Nigella Lawson's melons are fake?

          I volunteer to do an extensive hands-on 12 month study to find out, no, don't you bother yourself, I know it will be an arduous task, but I'm willing to take one for the team and do this all by myself. Anyone got her mobile number?

        2. This post has been deleted by its author

        3. Tronald Dump
          Joke

          Stop dreaming, you can't elope with her.

          1. Pompous Git Silver badge

            "Stop dreaming, you can't elope with her."
            Who'd want to? With somebody who thinks baked beans on toast is a "celebrity chef" recipe? [Shudder...]

            1. DJV Silver badge
              Facepalm

              @Pompous Git

              Obviously, your superpower is: Impervious to Puns!

              "can't elope" - You'll get there if you try...

              1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                Re: @Pompous Git

                "Obviously, your superpower is: Impervious to Puns!"
                I don't know where the idea I possess superpowers comes from, but you are correct. I missed the pun and that makes me somewhat Mellon Collie...

      2. Symon
        Pint

        " all the celebrity chefs are fake"

        Pretty sure Floyd was genuinely pissed the whole time.

  3. Chris G Silver badge

    Oh Waiter!

    Yes Sir.

    There's a hair in my soup.

    Yes Sir.

    And it doesn't look like head hair.

    Yes sir, it hasn't always been head hair.

  4. J. R. Hartley

    Wow

    Wowowowow

    1. hplasm
      Happy

      Re: Wow

      ...unbelieveable!

      *You are Kate Shrub and I claim my £5!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Something seems off

    That phrase about logging in 600 times in one day does not seem possible, the remote tool would have to be logging them out basicly immediately for that to even be phisically possible and they would not have any time left to be doing anything. It seems more likely 600 times the credentials were logged as checked or used over a much smaller number of sessions.

    1. Adrian 4 Silver badge

      Re: Something seems off

      Never expect a report about a technical subject to make any sense from a technical point of view.

    2. Notas Badoff

      Re: Something seems off

      I'm thinking Windows and SMB shares... Do a 'dir', a couple copies, read those a bit, then another 'dir' might have to reauthenticate, and so on. That kinda thing?

      1. david 12 Silver badge

        Re: Something seems off

        >I'm thinking Windows and SMB shares... Do a 'dir', a couple copies, read those a bit, then another 'dir' might have to reauthenticate, and so on. That kinda thing?<

        No. That step does not require "reauthentication". What it requires is re-checking the file permissions. You can watch this stuff happening if you turn audit logging on, which is presumably what the external security consultant did.

  6. Florida1920
    Joke

    The motive

    They only wanted to see if Gordon was cooking the books.

  7. mark 177
    Unhappy

    Jail - Why?

    OK, he was a naughty boy. But six months inside? It's a waste of taxpayers' money.

    Should have given him x hundred hours of community service, cleaning out hospital toilets or something like that.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If they reprise: the TV series Gordon Behind Bars

    The old dad-in-law will get more than shit in his semolina.

  9. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    There must

    have been some interesting conversations with the missus, of late...

    1. phuzz Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: There must

      All happy families are alike, but unhappy families are all unhappy in their own way.

    2. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

      Re: There must

      I remember cringing at this event at the time. Fairly ugly situation for all involved.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yeah but...

    Who hires their in laws? Seriously.

    I wouldn't let my mother in law anywhere the important parts of my life.

    She offered me £150k once, on the proviso that when the remaining mortgage is paid off, I sign the equity over to her.

    I told her if she wants to help us thats fine, but if she expects me to effectively sell a £500k asset for £150k she can go swivel. Stack up your dosh and set fire to it. I ain't touching it unless it helps improve our lives not ruin them by signing over my net worth to a daft old bag.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Yeah but...

      All I can say is that you got off lightly. From the day of the wedding (when she suggested my wife should pull out - naturally she was not putting anything in to the event bar wearing an odd dress) her 'suggestions' are laughed at by all of the family. MY father in law however is delightful

      1. zb

        Re: Yeah but...

        I am shocked by her suggestion. Pulling out is not a good method of contraception. She should be ashamed of herself.

  11. Pompous Git Silver badge

    My in-laws made an outlaw out of me

    Hank Penny: King of Hillbilly Bebop

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The word is "pleaded" not "pled"

    1. Marcus Fil

      North American, Scottish, or dialect past participle of PLEAD. I believe El Reg now favors (sic) US usage.

    2. Pompous Git Silver badge

      "The word is "pleaded" not "pled""
      From the OED:

      "Forms: α. 3–4 plaide(n, plaid-i, 3–6 playde, 4 plede(n, 4–7 plede (5 pledde, plide, 5–7 pled), 6 pleade (pleed), 6–7 Sc. pleid, 6– plead. pa. tense and pple. pleaded: contracted 5 pladde, (9 dial. plad), 5– pled (orig. Sc. and dial.), 7–9 plead. β. 4 pleit-y, pleyte, playt-y, playte, pleten, -yn, 4–6 plete, 5–6 pleete, 6 pleate. "

      I rest my case as it were...

      1. zb

        Well pled.

        1. Robert Helpmann??
          Headmaster

          Well pled.

          Which rhymes with said but not with read or lead...

          Is there a more irregular language than English? I say "more irregular" rather than "less regular" as English seems to be aggressively so rather than having occasional lapses of judgement.

          1. earl grey
            Headmaster

            not with read or lead

            not with lead, as Pb? seriously, how do you say that word?

            1. Pompous Git Silver badge

              Re: not with read or lead

              "not with lead, as Pb? seriously, how do you say that word?"
              Plumbum.

            2. Robert Helpmann??
              Childcatcher

              Re: not with read or lead

              not with lead, as Pb? seriously, how do you say that word?

              Follow me and I won't lead [pronounced "leed"] you astray unless I feel inclined to hit you with a lead [pronounced "led"] pipe.

              I know that people from different regions often pronounce the same words quite differently; this may be the case between you and I. I had an interesting conversation with a lady from New Zealand concerning the pronunciation of the word "bear". From what I recall, they say "beer" where Americans say "bare". I know which I would prefer if it came to a choice of having beer or being bare, but to each their own.

          2. Pompous Git Silver badge

            "Is there a more irregular language than English? I say "more irregular" rather than "less regular" as English seems to be aggressively so rather than having occasional lapses of judgement."
            I think you will find that the common verbs in all languages are irregular since they will have been in use longest. Esperanto excepted, but I never came across anyone who spoke it.

            1. Robert Helpmann??
              Childcatcher

              I think you will find that the common verbs in all languages are irregular...

              I get by in a few different languages and that matches my experience, but it is not just verbs I am referring to though using the word "irregular" might imply that. Simple pronunciation rules for English are nothing more than a figurative container for storage of exceptions. Diphthongs can be especially difficult for non-native speakers and even native speakers have trouble expressing "rules" that govern pronunciation. For example, when should "th" be soft as in "thin" and when should it be hard as in "the"?

  13. abracadabra

    Plant

    And this confirms the botanical appeal of the mother-in-laws tongue... so to speak. Sounds a bit of a waste on UK taxpayer... but hey gotta make an example on occasion.

  14. Potemkine Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    Who needs enemies when you have in-laws?

    Nothing personal here - duck and cover

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