back to article Oil and lube firm offers to ease pains of frustrated office workers

If you're worried that your fellow office workers' productivity is being compromised because they're boiling over with "frustration", Northern Ireland's Emo Oil is promising to relieve their plight with its selection of oils and lubricants. The firm has laid bare the extent of the problem in UK workplaces, with research among …

  1. Mephistro
    Devil

    Lube for the employees?

    Jokes write themselves nowadays, don't they?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can I have tissues as well?

    I promise to log off the vpn first.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Survey...

    A whacking 57 per cent of the UK's working population believe their office is just too darned tropical, while 43 per cent state theirs is too wintry for working conditions. Just under two-thirds say that the temperature affects their productivity in the working day. ®

    ....

    ...The UK's male population believe their office is just too darned tropical, while the female population state theirs is too wintry for working conditions.....

    <dives for cover>

    1. Z80
      Boffin

      Re: Survey...

      There's a physiological reason for the differing attitude between the sexes with regard to what constitutes a comfortable room temperature. It's something along the lines of women's higher proportion of body fat insulating their skin from the warmth in their core, whereas men tend to have larger muscles which kick out sufficient heat to keep the sensation of temperature at the skin surface at an agreeable level in cooler environments.

      However I'm still not sure that fully explains the time when I was in an open plan office and had to ask for something to be done about the 2kW fan heater being used at the row of desks behind me as the flow of warm air was making me feel uncomfortable. The owner of the fan had it positioned pointing directly at her shins at a distance of approximately 12 inches.

  4. 8Ace

    It was ever thus....

    I'd put money on the "Too Hot" / "Too Cold" split being aligned on the presence or absence of a Y chromosome in the complainant

  5. Mage Silver badge

    Not Y Chromosome

    How much time purely typing vs shuffling around.

  6. WibbleMe

    Yinks almost as bad as Woohoo lube

  7. Alistair
    Windows

    "emo" oil

    .......

    I think that we've a collision of colloquialisms here. And its quite self-explanatory. The question is, is it repellent or attractor?

  8. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Coat

    "Emo Oil "

    What such people douse themselves with when cutting with knives doesn't do it anymore?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Emo Oil

    I bought some once but I couldnt get it out of the tin. I called customer support and they told me I just didnt understand.

    When I finally got some out and used it within 7 days I was miserable, hated life and nobody understood me anymore and my Joy Division collection sounded great again. Five stars would recommend if anyone would just listen to me for once.

  10. Anonymous C0ward

    Emo Oil

    Best applied to the wrist with a razor blade while listening to MCR?

    1. Long John Brass

      Re: Emo Oil

      Is it made from real Emo's ?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Emo Oil

        "Is it made from real Emo's ?"

        Like you actually care.

        *Puts more oil on*

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Boiler maintenance service

    Presumably that's for when you're working late at the office and the missus is home alone.

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Thumb Up

      "you're working late at the office and the missus is home alone."

      And I thought dousing yourself with emo oil was tasteless.

      Respect.

  12. breakfast
    Joke

    That reminds me

    I used to work at an oil company and we had to deal with some slippery customers.

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