back to article You'll get a kick out of this: Qualcomm patents the 'Internet of Shoes'

Chip-and-lawsuit designer Qualcomm has drawn up a patent on blueprints for an internet-connected shoe. The semiconductor firm has filed an application with the US Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) for something it simply calls "Internet of Shoes." The abstract of the application describes it as: A connected shoe apparatus …

  1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

    They are late to the party

    Hi-Tec has been shipping these for at least a year now which means they were most likely developed prior to 2015.

    I believe there was even a review on the register of this gadget. While I am fan of Hi-Tec shoes in general, I looked at the price and decided to pass.

  2. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge
    Trollface

    You'd think Qualcomm would restrain over-the-top patent trolling until that lawsuit is settled. (Trolling because it's obvious and not a new idea)

  3. redpawn Silver badge

    Tactile possibilities

    Since tactile feedback can be given, the shoe could be used to transmit Braile to parts of the foot. Books on feet and advertisements which reach out and touch the soul would naturally follow.

    1. macjules Silver badge

      Re: Tactile possibilities

      Surely you mean "which reach out and touch the sole"?

      1. redpawn Silver badge

        Re: Tactile possibilities

        An advertiser not take advantage of homonyms? It would be mundane for shoes to touch the sole but glorious for them to touch the soul, unless you think about it that is.

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    So...

    If your GPS tells your shoes you're in a bad neighbourhood your shoes will tell you to pick up the pace ?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    Hi Dave....

    ....I've noticed you have overpronation. How about a new pair of Mizuno Wave 12's. Currently on Amazon for £85.99. Jump 5 times to buy now.

  6. AlgernonFlowers4
    Coat

    Not So Smart Shoes

    Shoes: User Error - Wrong Feet Detected!

    Me: These are the only feet I've got!

  7. ganymede io device

    Was Puma RS patented?

    Puma RS Computer Shoe from 1986.

    Not quite prior art.

    http://uk.complex.com/sneakers/2015/03/puma-killing-it-in-running-science-for-over-80-years/1986-puma-designed-the-worlds-first-apple-compatible-shoe-nearly-30-years-ago

    http://www.atarimagazines.com/compute/issue79/IBM_Personal_Computing.php

  8. jake Silver badge

    Methinks ...

    ... Qualcomm needs a boot to the head.

  9. ARGO

    You can already buy these

    It was being demo'd at MWC this year:

    http://www.lechal.com/

  10. Sartori
    Pint

    Just what we need...

    Won't somebody save arseho...... erm..... our soles!!

    It's a bit of a shame Sneakernet is already a thing.

  11. Mystic Megabyte
    Happy

    Want!

    Where can I get those anti-gravity clogs from?

  12. Captain Hogwash
    Coat

    Performance specs?

    What are the typical boot times of these shoes?

  13. VinceH

    Disappointment

    Imagine my disappointment... image and explanation on twitter.

  14. I am the liquor

    The latest patent troll strategy

    I guess it's the bullshit patent formula of our time. Once it was "business process X, but in software." Then it was "business model X, but on a web site." Now it's "everyday object X, but connected to the internet."

  15. handle

    A nod to Douglas Adams is appropriate at this point, I feel.

  16. Flakk
    Joke

    Obligatory "Red Dwarf" Reference

    Lister: Sometimes, I think it's cruel giving machines a personality. My mate Petersen once bought a pair of shoes with Artificial Intelligence. 'Smart Shoes' they were called. It was a neat idea: no matter how blind drunk you were, they could always get you home. But he got ratted one night in Oslo and woke up the next morning in Burma. You see, the shoes got bored just going from his local to the flat. They wanted to see the world, like, you know. He had a hell of a job getting rid of them. No matter who he sold them to, they'd show up again the next day. He tried to shut them out, but they just kicked the door down, you know.

    Rimmer: Is this true?

    Lister: Yeah. Last thing he heard, they'd sort of, erm, robbed a car and drove it into a canal. They couldn't steer, you see.

    Rimmer: Really?

    Lister: Yeah. Petersen was really, really blown away about it. He went to see a priest. The priest told him... he said it was alright and all that, like, and that the shoes were happy and that they'd gone to heaven. You see, it turns out shoes have 'soles'.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Maxwell Smart would be proud...

    Is Qualcomm going to invent the Cone of Silence next?

  18. earl grey
    Joke

    what's next? computers in your shorts?

    You should have gone to the loo back there... ewwww

    Change me now!

  19. JLV
    Boffin

    One hopes a clever USPTO clerk, cognizant of the infinite stupidity of this application, gives it the boot.

    In fact EL Reg should file it under Bootnotes as well.

  20. GrapeBunch

    Imagine

    My name in lights. No, not your name in lights, my name in lights.

  21. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Unhappy

    What a bunch of wusses we hav here.

    22 comments and not single mention of sneakernet?

    I'm ashamed to be part of commentadariat today!!!!

    1. jake Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: What a bunch of wusses we hav here.

      John Brown (no body), see this https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/3182776 post, some 14 hours before yours.

      It's Friday. Have a beer! :-)

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: What a bunch of wusses we hav here.

        Whoopsie, missed that. Thanks for the beer :-)

  22. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    Fine, now we've all got to be able to Triple Click to go Home

    Dunno what I'm talking about? One word clue: Dorothy.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What?

    Can one really patent such a trivial (and trite) idea in the USA? It doesn't say much for the level of 'intellectual' property.

  24. BongoJoe

    Logging

    Why would I want to know how many steps my right shoe has made more than my left?

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Logging

      To see if you turn right more than you turn left? Cheaper to put a dime-store pedometer in each sock, though ... and just as useful. That's to say "not".

      I won't comment on the stupidity of the current iteration of the USPTO as it is self evident. You are quite welcome.

  25. Public Citizen

    Whole New Meaning

    to having your foot in your mouth.

  26. Milton

    And when hacked ...

    In the UK, there will be a Tory bill to allow security services or police to take control of your Internet of Feet. Those suspected of dreaming about thinking of considering possibly doing something that might one day be illegal will be compelled, by a series of electric shocks to the feet, to walk to the nearest police station and surrender for a mind scan.

  27. M7S
    Coat

    Would any connected display be....

    ....interlacing?

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