Can you spout digital bollocks? London is hiring a Chief Digital Officer The Mayor of London is hiring a chief digital officer for the capital, advertised at a cool £107,000. The job advert on the Greater London Assembly website says: As London's CDO, working in the Mayor's Office, you will convene GLA officials, the Smart London Board, local authorities and the technology sectors to encourage …
Let me begin by stating that my vision for London is a perfect synergy of cross alignment in the this new digital era where I intend to combine the visions of the stakeholders to develop a strategy based on the expectations of the tasks.
I can waffle bollocks like that for hours and can guarantee not actually achieving anything other than many meetings where nothing actually gets done. I would apply for it if it wasn't for nepotism.
Let me begin by stating that my vision for London is a perfect synergy of cross alignment in the this new digital era where I intend to combine the visions of the stakeholders to develop a strategy based on the expectations of the tasks.
I can waffle bollocks like that for hours and can guarantee not actually achieving anything other than many meetings where nothing actually gets done. I would apply for it if it wasn't for nepotism.
...When can you start?
No, it's one of those solutions governments around the world are so good at.
Problem: Low wage factory/warehouse workers finding it difficult scheduling shift work with public transport
Policy Wonk solution: Tax free salary sacrifice for a pushbike
Real world result: Middle managers riding around on £1,000 carbon bikes at the weekend paid for, in part, by the taxes of those low wage workers
Sensible solution: Increase the tax free earnings threshold
Sensible solution: Increase the tax free earnings threshold
IME of commuting in London, the painful sloth of public transport is matched only by its over-loading and discomfort anywhere near peak hours. The cost is not actually unreasonable.
My idea of a a sensible solution is to stop trying to crowd ever more jobs into a city that can't properly support the number it already has.
"My idea of a a sensible solution is to stop trying to crowd ever more jobs into a city that can't properly support the number it already has."
What we need is a combination of flying cars and Musks underground roads. Although I think the underground roads should be limited to mass transit only, something like buses designed to fit the tunnels. And maybe use guided buses, or put them on rails to minimise the chances of accidents. Now all I need to do is patent the idea and....PROFIT!!!!1!!11!!
> Sensible solution: Increase the tax free earnings threshold
Alternative solution ... start to audit people wiht "bike to work scheme" bikes and see if they really meet the criteria (requirement of the scheme is the bike is used "mainly for journeys to/from work or between workplaces) so maybe if a few middle managers find that they have their weekend carbon fibre bikes disallowed from the scheme and then find that the "tax savings" they thought they would get was mainly taken by the retailer putting prices up/not giving them a discount then that might also solve the problem!
"Chief Digital Officers are considered both the new stars of the C-suite as well as faddish or transitory roles which will eventually go away.
The CIO show also noted that two years ago the average UK salary for one of these faddish transitories was £114,750, meaning tight-fisted Khan is underpaying by a good few grand once inflation is taken into account."
Maybe the roles are already starting to go away and the salary reflects this. I don't think I'll bother applying - it would probably mean living in London.
Its too easy for any hipster with 1 days worth of Java Script skills to use.
Something like XML takes a bit more effort (and you can specify schema so no ambiguity thus good for standardisation) - plus more hassles for JavaScript so more chance of it being done with a proper language with decent typing, debugging facilities, test frameworks etc,
The next big increase in office productivity will come when companies realise that pretty much any role with Digital, Sustainable, Gender, or Communications in the title can be nixed without the slightest impact on company performance. (Anything with Bicycle in the description unless you are working for Avanti, Yeti or a Tour de France group too).
They should just go to the DevOps conference you're constantly pushing at the moment and throw a brick to choose their candidate.
Any one of the knowledge-free buzzword-wibblers that feel the need to attend a conference about the fairy-fart that is DevOps should be more than sufficiently fluent in techno-bollox to take the London CDO role on ...
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Is this person going to go "infrastructure free" or other random bollocks that makes no sense. They will pick someone who is unqualified but able to speak "bullshit speak" and fool them with their deluded crap.
Several years later when said person has rinsed them for all the money they can get they'll realise they did nothing but talk bollocks and produce nothing. By that time said person will have moved on to con some other company.
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