back to article McAfee is McAfee again, promises security with kum ba yah

McAfee is McAfee again: the security company that Intel thought was worth US$7.68bn in 2010 and then sold 51 per cent of for $3.1bn in 2016 is now independent once more. McAfee LLC's new CEO, a chap named Christopher D. Young, has penned a letter setting out his stall. It's a minor masterpiece of ShinyHappyCorpSpeak™, …

  1. frank ly

    Together Is Power

    Slogan Is Nonsense

    1. Ole Juul

      Re: Together Is Power

      Nonsense Is Power

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Together Is Power

        "Nonsense Is Power"

        ...and power leads to the dark side.

        -Yoda

        1. Huw D

          Re: Together Is Power

          "power to the dark side leads", surely?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Together Is Power

        Power = energy

    2. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: Together Is Power

      More corporate mumbojumbo bullshit bingo speak...

    3. Sir Sham Cad

      Re: Together Is Power

      Words Is Here

    4. fidodogbreath Silver badge

      Re: Together Is Power

      War Is Peace. Freedom Is Slavery. Ignorance Is Strength. Larger Attack Surfaces Are More Secure. McAfee Isn't A CPU Hog.

    5. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: Together Is Power

      "Einigkeit macht Quark!"

    6. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Together Is Power

      It makes one wish that corporates would put as much energy and creativity into their products and make them work as they do for the corporate logo and "vision".... <sigh>

  2. Potemkine Silver badge

    McAfee, again!

    I was indeed spammed by McAfee yesterday, some PR BS; TLDR anyway.

  3. Schlimnitz

    McAfee the man is far more interesting. Bring him back please

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Trollface

      Can't - he locked himself in his nuclear bunker and is on high alert for aliens.

  4. Commentard Prime
    Windows

    Personally, I think of an extremely high man with a gun when I think of McAfee. I also know which I'd prefer to keep my data centre safe.

  5. RealBigAl

    McAfee protection is so crippled now it needs a HIPS replacement.

  6. Mr Dogshit
    Headmaster

    Repeat after me: there is no such verb as "to pen"

    " there's also some interesting nuggets"

    There ARE also some interesting nuggets

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Repeat after me: there is no such verb as "to pen"

      I'd beg to differ with you re: title..."pen" is a verb, although not one I'd choose to use.

      (SLOGO should absolutely *not* be a word)

      Totally agree with you on "is"/"are"

  7. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese

    “The new design reflects our belief that Together is power, a concept so central to the new McAfee brand that we have adopted it as our tagline. To depict our pledge to help customers defend all that matters, you'll see us use the shield to surround images that convey the connected world and the need to protect all aspects of it. A refreshed shade of red, a color strongly associated with both the McAfee brand and power itself, offers a timeless reminder of our enduring commitment to a cybersecurity marketplace we've served for more than two decades.”

    I think I just felt a little bit of sick come up

  8. Zippy's Sausage Factory
    Meh

    I notice no mention of something along the lines of "we're going to start building stuff people actually want to buy again, rather than just getting foisted upon them by corporate suits whose bonus depends entirely on their ability to cut a deal to save 50 cents per seat for the whole company"

    Is it me, or am I starting to get cynical these days?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Speaking as a foistee...

      A while ago I bought a new machine from PC Dixon's Curry World (I know, I know...I should have known better) and it came with McAfee pre-installed on a 30-day trial.

      I know that the software is allegedly a bit of a b****r to completely uninstall/eradicate, and that A/V software works at a fairly low level. I did briefly consider paying the subscription just to avoid f***ing up my new PC....then I felt a bit dirty for thinking that and went through the rather tortuous uninstall process.

      Made me wonder how many subscriptions there are to McAfee by people who see paying a few quid as just being the path of least resistance.

      1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

        Re: Speaking as a foistee...

        "Made me wonder how many subscriptions there are to McAfee by people who see paying a few quid as just being the path of least resistance."

        ALL of them.

  9. Amos1

    Perhaps someone with Photoshop skills could paste John McAfee's picture in the middle of that logo

    He would look like he had horns.

    1. Eddy Ito

      Hmm, I think a face inside a book would be a logo for a different company but what would you call it?

    2. gypsythief

      Re: Perhaps someone with Photoshop skills...

      Here ya go!

      http://imgur.com/je29Nfz

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Perhaps someone with Photoshop skills...

        Nice, definitely has the superhero look to it.

      2. Captain DaFt

        Re: Perhaps someone with Photoshop skills...

        Uhm, Magneto?

  10. Captain Badmouth
    Paris Hilton

    "features two interlocking frames that form an open and unified sh*t, an element long associated with the McAfee brand.”

    ftfh.

    Paris, knows all about interlocking frames...

  11. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    ????????

    "use the shield to surround images that convey the connected world and the need to protect all aspects of it. A refreshed shade of red, a color strongly associated with both the McAfee brand and power itself, offers a timeless reminder of our enduring commitment"

    It takes a man very confident in his sexuality and determined to get every cent out of his spending on brand consultants to read this script that he was handed. It's like Martha Stewart or Vivienne Westwood decided to switch careers to cybersecurity.

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: ????????

      "It's like Martha Stewart or Vivienne Westwood decided to switch careers to cybersecurity."

      Well, Martha Stewart should know a thing or two about secure environments by now. And Vivienne Westwood could design a better logo and a superhero costume for McAfeeMan.

    2. DropBear

      Re: ????????

      Funny, I look at it and see "Nowhere but DOWN"...

  12. adam payne

    “A refreshed shade of red, a color strongly associated with both the McAfee brand and power itself, offers a timeless reminder of our enduring commitment to a cybersecurity marketplace we've served for more than two decades.”

    A statement full of buzz words and marketing drivel. What are you actually going to do to improve your products?

    Just because you've been in the game for over 20 years doesn't mean that your products are any good.

    EPO *shudders*

  13. philct

    Rubbish support - look elsewhere

    A few weeks ago one of their updates screwed up my Windows 10 laptop. Luckily I had access to another PC to download the Windows 10 s/w to repair it. No help from McAfee support for 10 days probably because they were coping with all the other users with the same problem. No response to online chat despite promise that the queue was only 10 minutes long.

    No apologies, no decent support so no more subscriptions from me.

  14. Marty McFly Bronze badge
    Holmes

    McAfee 3.0???

    McAfee -> Network Associates -> McAfee -> Intel Security -> McAfee

    That would be version 5.0 which is really just a rebranded version of the 1.0 product.

  15. Alistair
    Pint

    ShineyHappyCorpSpeak:

    Rebranded as:

    BrilliantlyUncommunicativeLiteraryLingoSlosshedIntoTypography.

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Let's just keep it simple.... "ShitStuff".

  16. concerned_M

    ShineyHappyCorpSpeak

    Unfortunately everything sounds really good when spoken and doesn't make sense when decoded. Expect to see some concerning news stories about ShinyHappy and just because you use a Security Product, doesn't mean they aren't violating privacy in the same way the 3rd parties do, which they are "flagging". This is all publicly available news. Read the Privacy Policy closely.

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