Fire brigade called to free man's bits from titanium ring's grip

Dublin’s fire brigade - armed with a hand-held angle grinder - were called to the aid of a man that was unable to remove a titanium ring that he’d miraculously slipped over both his meat and two veg. In yet another example of when choking of the bishop goes wrong, the unnamed male presented his problem member to doctors at …

[Halfmad]

That image

Never has the el 'reg put such an appropriate image on an article, bravo!

*continues crossing his legs*

[Korev]

Re: That image

He does look like a bit of a cock though...

[Anonymous Coward]

So what was the IT angle?

This has been "eclipsed" somehow

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: So what was the IT angle?

The "Bootnotes" rubric often indicates the article is Off Topic.

[Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse]

Re: So what was the IT angle?

I thought the IT angle (grinder) was represented front and centre.

[DNTP]

Re: So what was the IT angle?

Ring dick guy tragically misunderstood network topology while searching for network-accessible adult content, and thought he needed to apply the "token ring" in order to communicate with the porn server.

[Mark 85]

Re: So what was the IT angle?

Upvote for the "token ring" reference. Well played sir.

[Pen-y-gors]

Titanium?

Why the fec did he need titanium? Balls of steel? Wouldn't a rubber band or a bit of string have worked as well?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Titanium?

Balls of steel?

Looking at the linked picture, I'd say no.

I suppose the medics considered using leeches, but then thought the best way of discouraging this was to get the fire brigade in with power tools.

[Ian Michael Gumby]

@Ledswinger ... Re: Titanium?

Leeches?

If they could get that tongue depressor inside the ring, there's still enough blood flow.

I would have thought they would have put the bloke in an ice bath, and used a dremel tool.

I really have to ask what the guy was thinking? Is that what you guys do for fun on that side of the pond?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Titanium?

I think the thing that impressed/surprised me most - he managed to get his balls in there too??

[bombastic bob]

Re: Titanium?

Why the fec did he need titanium?

maybe he wanted a cameo (or at least a shoutout) in the intro for 'Idiocracy 2'

[HAL-9000]

Re: Titanium?

You Sir sound experienced in such matters

[Amazon Wageslave]

Best bit

From the Irish Medical Journal article:

Conflict of Interest:

No conflicts of interest from any author

[creepy gecko]

Re: Best bit

Also amusing that the Irish Medical Journal article can quote ten other articles in its bibliography.

Ouch!

[ I'm still feeling ill after looking at the NSFW photo on the article ]

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: Best bit

"[ I'm still feeling ill after looking at the NSFW photo on the article ]"

I'm not at work, but thank you for confirming my obviously eminently wise decision not to click that link!

[Michael Thibault]

Re: Best bit

I also appreciate the warning; I am not that curious--yellow, black, or blue. That some people's lives are a warning to others is well understood, thanks.

[Francis Boyle]

Re: Best bit

You might not be yellow, black, or blue but the dick in the pic is, curiously all at once.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Best bit

In other words: none of them had any skin in the game?

[hatti]

“Cool irrigation was running throughout to prevent overheating or thermal damage to the skin. A metal forceps was placed under the ring to present past pointing of the axel grinder,” the Journal added.

I think thermal damage to the skin would have been the least of his worries :)

[Antron Argaiv]

I tell you, he was fartin' sparks, mate!

[The Nazz]

Well, that dispels the myth ....

That once you go black you never go back*

Yeah, i'm of the curious nature, i looked. I just cannot contemplate how on earth anyone in their right mind would attach such a thing.

* mind you it may still apply the the Mrs, pronounced with a lisp, rather in my case the now ex Mrs.

[disgruntled yank]

Unusual

When I was a small boy, fireman was one of three or four occupations I aspired to. Many stories in The Register make me wonder about my later choice to go into IT, but not this one.

[FuzzyTheBear]

Re: Unusual

i can just hear the laughter of the firemen in the backrooms and corridors on that one :)

[usbac]

Re: Unusual

I wouldn't reconsider that choice.

I really wish I had chosen to be a fireman instead of working in IT. If I were a fireman, I would have been retired years ago (at 45) making about $20K a year more than I do now!

Running into a burning building, or fixing someone's virus infected Windows nightmare, a tough choice? I know a guy that's a fireman. He actually feels bad for IT people. He says he wouldn't trade jobs with me!

It's too late for me now.

Bruce

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Unusual

The Fireman next door, massive extension, 2 luxury cars, early retirement, decent pension. Rarely does a stitch (at home mostly)

Focker makes me jealous

[Alistair]

I keep seeing these

articles about fire departments getting called in for these events, and bringing in heavy equipment.

Jeeezus H. if its a small metal band needs removing

YOU CALL THE JEWELLER.

They tend to have on hand this marvellous bit of wire, about 22 to 25 inches long that will slice through most metal bands in a few moments of non-violent work. And I'd wager they'd be quite happy to hand the wire to the nurse and let the patient do the job themselves. Something of a fail on the part of the medical staff in my books.

[Paul_Murphy]

Re: I keep seeing these

or like this?

http://www.callagold.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/P1120875-400x300.jpg?x71152

From: http://www.callagold.com/all-about-rings/ring-removal/

[usbac]

Re: I keep seeing these

Yes, but (from the linked article):

"Your jeweler won’t be able to help you if you have stainless steel, cobalt chrome or titanium. These super hard metals are much harder than gold and platinum and that very hardness causes some to say they are a dangerous choice for rings."

So, an angle grinder is still about the only option.

[lglethal]

Re: I keep seeing these

I dont know. Having a big blokey man with an angle grinder bearing down on your family jewels would probably discourage you from a repeat performance of that particular trick in the future...

[Michael Thibault]

Re: I keep seeing these

"Having a big blokey man with an angle grinder bearing down on your family jewels would probably discourage you from a repeat performance of that particular trick in the future..."

Not so sure; after the bright sparks, it's the same brain, after all. We understand that the blood complement is only sufficient to operate one head at a time, and ... here we are to begin with.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I keep seeing these

"We understand that the blood complement is only sufficient to operate one head at a time, and [...]"

Wicked Willie*** would possibly agree. Although he was probably never shown in this condition.

***Strip cartoon character from the 1980s. Caught the zeitgeist of that era. Very non-PC nowadays - but still amusing in a "been there" way. Some of its many near the bone observations ought to be included in PSE lessons for post-pubertal kids.

Sort of NSFW.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wicked_Willie

[Phil W]

Re: I keep seeing these

"They tend to have on hand this marvellous bit of wire, about 22 to 25 inches long that will slice through most metal bands"

If by "most" you mean gold or silver, which are relatively soft metals then yes a jeweler could help. But the majority of ordinary jewelers tools like a ring saw won't cut titanium, cobalt, carbon or stainless steel rings as they're simply too hard. In this case I believe the ring was titanium.

I'm not sure what exactly the fire brigade used but I imagine it was something pretty powerful, since time as a factor. Although there are Dremel cutting discs that will cut titanium and other hard metals, on anything a couple of millimeters thick or more it's going to use up a few cuttings discs and take quite a bit of time, which this chap didn't have.

[Toni the terrible]

Re: I keep seeing these

I think something of the size of a Dremel, not a car opening grinder?

[KegRaider]

Re: I keep seeing these

"Dremel cutting discs that will cut titanium and other hard metals, on anything a couple of millimeters thick or more it's going to use up a few cuttings discs and take quite a bit of time, which this chap didn't have."

Not to mention the heat build up of said cutting disc on the band!!! Probably needed the fire department nearby to extinguish the phallic flames!

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I keep seeing these

Jeeezus H. if its a small metal band needs removing

Looking at the picture, it looked quite a chunky effort.

[P. Lee]

Re: I keep seeing these

>YOU CALL THE JEWELLER.

Ah, the voice of experience!

[Simon Harris]

hand-held angle grinder

I was going to suggest it should be a hand-held dangle grinder...

... but if it was in a dangling state it probably wouldn't be such a problem!

[Anonymous Coward]

I was advised by a Hatton garden jewellers not to get a titanium wedding ring because if you damage your hand/finger and the ring needs cutting off due to swelling (stop sniggering!) most hospitals don't have the necessary equipment.

[quxinot]

Weird. A good ring cutter isn't all that uncommon in even nursing homes, nevermind hospitals, here. They have to be the type with a bi-metal blade, which the better and newer ones have. The old ones were just steel and would have difficulty on titanium.

Anyone with a titanium ring can tell you that it's not super-hard. It's strong, but weaker than steel for a given volume (while weighing a lot less, hence the appeal). It's kind of a pain to machine not because of some mythical strength but because it chips out if the feed rates are wrong. Titanium is strong for the weight, but not as light as aluminum, which is what you use where strength matters less but weight is of the utmost importance.

Tungsten carbide is the nasty one to remove, as it cannot be cut short of a dimond blade. Those instead are simply cracked off as it's very brittle, and simple vice-grips will suffice.

I'm looking at my ring size and thinking... that poor man's partner(s).

[chivo243]

@quxinot

Vice grips near Mr. Johnson? Whoa nellie! That's almost as bad as getting stuck in the original ring...

[W4YBO]

Titanium fire

A local machine shop has a chunk of melted lathe bed hanging from a wall with a sign that reminds the machinists to clean up their chips. It seems titanium is pretty reactive (why it forms those pretty oxides) and allowing a big pile of swarf to build up in the lathe gap is unwise. Nearly cut the bed off the headstock when a hot chip ignited the pile.

I suppose the irrigation kept this guy's pile of swarf at a reasonable size.

[Anonymous Coward]

In the 1960s a friend who worked for the Post Office radio department related how he slipped while climbing a mast. He then found himself attached to a hook on the mast by his wedding ring. It gave him a deep cut***. After that he never wore the ring while working.

There was a time when solid metal wristwatch straps were very popular. Not something to wear while working on a car electrics where you could short unfused battery connections.

My house has door handles at waist height - possibly some building standard. Their shape tapers towards the end. Several times I have found my motion suddenly arrested by a belt loop getting hooked on one.

*** edited to avoid providing easy El Reg pickings in the words "pole" or "bone"

[Toni the terrible]

Ring accident

A colleague of mine lost a finger due to a ring being caught on a spike during a significant fall - he didn't say it was pulled off (the implication) or his finger had to be amputated afterward. Then again he might have been a sawyer, but that wouldn't have been so ugh...

[Tikimon]

Do I see a new product opportunity?

We've all noticed that these stories appear regularly. It's reasonable to extrapolate that many more gents do it without being trapped, presumably using something sized a little better. Granted it's a small market (heh) but the global reach of Amazon has made many niche products profitable.

Clearly this subset of adventurous males need suitable rings made, of a comfortable thickness to not dig in, and in varying diameters. We'll post a sizing guide and a printable measuring tape. In case of need, the user can insert something in two little holes on opposite sides of the ring and unlock the two halves. I could possibly get startup funding from firemen, eager to avoid having to deal with this.

Now... what can one charge for such a thing, and what the hell to name it?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Do I see a new product opportunity?

"[...] nd what the hell to name it?"

"My Precious Ring"

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Do I see a new product opportunity?

maybe made of "wood".

Sure I have some curtains "hung" with those :)

[Toni the terrible]

Re: Do I see a new product opportunity?

There are a number of sizes of curtain rings which might be handy - try before you buy?

Sadly, I know of a person who used a wooden curtain ring. It is easier to cut off, he really didn't want to go to A&E

[smudge]

Re: Do I see a new product opportunity?

Now... what can one charge for such a thing, and what the hell to name it?

About £1.50. A Jubilee Clip.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jubilee_Clip

[Boris the Cockroach]

Re: Do I see a new product opportunity?

You can also use those for contraception

can be easily sold using the phrase "Never a drip with a jubilee clip"

And its not even friday yet......

[imanidiot]

Re: Do I see a new product opportunity?

I don't think you'll be surprised to hear that such a bussiness/product already exists and the market (especially if you operate globally) is not all that niche in fact. There is already too much competition in that market to really make much of a name for yourself.

[Captain DaFt]

Re: Do I see a new product opportunity?

"Now... what can one charge for such a thing, and what the hell to name it?"

'Ring-a-Ding-Dong'? ☺

[mosw]

Re: Do I see a new product opportunity?

"Clearly this subset of adventurous males need suitable rings made, of a comfortable thickness to not dig in, and in varying diameters. We'll post a sizing guide and a printable measuring tape. In case of need, the user can insert something in two little holes on opposite sides of the ring and unlock the two halves."

So "One ring to rule them all" then (or at least both).

[PyroBrit]

Optional

My wedding ring is Titanium and at the time of purchase, I had the choice of 99.99 pure Titanium or a Titanium Alloy.

I picked the pure Titanium as it is softer than the alloy and shouldn't be a problem for emergency services if I get into a situation requiring it's removal. It's certainly too small to go on my dick so the situation in the story shouldn't ever happen.

[Lloyd]

Did they try

Whacking the ring with a hammer?

I'm just curious as to the noise it made, I'm thinking......

DONG!

[Your alien overlord - fear me]

Where's the back story - how the feck did he get everything through the ring in the first place?

[Rich 11]

By thinking very hard about Anne Widdicombe.

[John McCallum]

One piece at a time

[Simon Harris]

The front story's bad enough...

I really don't want to know what he was doing with the other side!

[TitterYeNot]

"how the feck did he get everything through the ring in the first place?"

Carefully.

And now that you've set me off...

There was a man from the fair Isle

Who embiggened his manhood in style

The thought in his cranium

Was to use hard titanium

But for freedom he'd need more than a file.

[regregular]

Well, very obviously he tripped and fell.

How else could that happen?

[Peter Mount]

They say this is rare... try London

The equivalent BBC article said that it was a rare event.

London Fire Brigade: April 2016 - Feb 2017 had 9 callouts.

9! and that's just for London. They also stated that it's the same number as the previous two financial years combined.

http://www.london-fire.gov.uk/news/LatestNewsReleases_fifty-shades-of-red-incidents-go-up.asp#.WMqUrB_6zVM

Fire icon as this involves the fire brigade

[Sleep deprived]

"Ice packs were applied to the swollen appendages"

Not cold enough. Rinse with liquid nitrogen and you can recover the titanium ring undamaged.

[TRT]

5 x 4 x 1.5 cm ring?

Diagram required.

Oh. There's a picture. Now I see.

Ouch.

Also, why did you miss out on the usual approach of using "Orthopaedic tools such a Giggle saw"?

[Pavlov's obedient mutt]

please no

never again - bone(r) cutters...

[Inventor of the Marmite Laser]

Please tell us

His name was "Dick"

or, at the very least, "Willie"

[P. Lee]

Re: Please tell us

His name was "Dick" or, at the very least, "Willie"

Well, black and white, so, "Free Willy"

[bombastic bob]

Re: Please tell us

you're reminding me of a sequence from an Austin Powers movie...

[regregular]

What people never hear about: all the men who overestimate the size of their junk and end up getting oversized rings that just slide off without doing the job.

[Pen-y-gors]

just slide off without doing the job.....

One has to wonder what the 'job' it's supposed to do actually is? Maybe I live too sheltered a life...

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: just slide off without doing the job.....

"Maybe I live too sheltered a life..."

I thought your suggestion of string or rubber band earlier was based on experience? But Ann Summers will sell you a silicone-ish c*ck ring, enabling you to try the experience without fear of having to meet either doctors or firemen.

[Korev]

Re: just slide off without doing the job.....

You make that sound like a bad thing!

I was at a colleague's [gay] wedding a few years ago, the fire alarm went off and two engines worth of firemen arrived causing mass excitement! The firemen had a complete sense of humour failure though.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: just slide off without doing the job.....

"[...] and two engines worth of firemen arrived causing mass excitement! "

The guests thought the strip show had arrived?

Just what is it about uniforms and strip shows - of any orientation?

[H in The Hague]

Ad

For me, this item is accompanied by ads for De Walt power tools. Related to this story or to my previous browsing history? (Please note that I'm more inclined towards Festool, though I have some deW kit.)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Ad

Clearly targeting those who enjoy working with wood.

[Anonymous Coward]

Similar Experience

Interestingly, we ran into this exact problem at my hospital Stateside in the mid-eighties, and solved it exactly the same way, except the offending object was a wheel-bearing race ("cup").

The ER staff was rather inexperienced with how incredibly hard was a bearing race, and having broken the wedding-ring-cutter and injured the poor fellow with a hacksaw, decided to call in the head of maintenance, who was fortunately a retired master machinist. They said you could hear him swearing about "educated idiots" all the way to the operating theatre, where they humanely knocked the poor patient out before producing a die-grinder and abrasive wheel.

The patient got by with only a few blisters from the heat generated by the cutter - came out pretty well, I think, considering ... he COULD have been known as "stubby."

[bombastic bob]

A new compliment to the 'Darwin Award'

a new complimentary award needs to be established, to go along with the existing 'Darwin Award', when some dumbass offs himself in a way that demonstrates WHY it benefits society by removing him from the gene pool.

Well, THIS guy could've removed himself from the gene pool WITHOUT actually dying. By his own act of complete stupidity he nearly DID THE WORLD A FAVOR. Had his maleness been lopped off due to oxygen starvation induced gangrene or necrosis, the world's potential future average IQ would've gone UP a bit. *NOW* we have this guy BACK in the gene pool...

mentioning 'Idiocracy' again (particularly the intro, where skilled surgeons save the moron's male member after a bizarre jet ski accident that should've kept him from breeding any more)

Maybe we can call it the "Margaret Sanger" award (due to her belief in 'eugenics'). Extra points for those who get the snark/humor.

[madick]

Sedated? Who?

From the linked article:

"Under sedation with Ketamine 100mg, Fentanyl 50mcg and Propofol 150mg in divided doses- the Fire Brigade Department divided the penoscrotal constriction device with an electric hand operated axel grinder."

I hope it was the patient that was sedated rather than, as could be inferred from this sentence, the fireman with the grinder.

Incidentally, is an "axel" grinder a specific tool that I've not heard of before, or is it just a 'misspelling' of "angle" grinder.