back to article Smart sex toys firm coughs up $3.75m in privacy lawsuit

A US teledildonics company – if you’re wondering whether that means what it looks like it means, yes it does – has settled a privacy infringement lawsuit for $3.75m. The agreement, reached between two anonymous complainants and Standard Innovation Corporation, will ensure that personal information collected from users of SIC’s …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    All claimers of compensation will paid in the form of cheque from our sister company Butt Fucker Dildos LTD

    1. TheVogon

      Wow, seems it's expensive to sit on your thumbs over security in this business...

  2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge


    Does the snooping therefore count as dildometry?

    1. macjules

      Re: teledildonics?

      No, it counts as toyeurism.

  3. frank ly

    "personally identifiable email addresses"

    They should have used a Hotmale or Woohoo! address.

    Coat: I'm not telling you what's in the pocket.

    1. BillG


      Two settlement funds will be set up: a $3m pot for users of the app affected by its data-slurping activities, and $750,000 for purchasers of the actual vibrator

      That's a stiff penalty.

      1. Jedit Silver badge

        Re: Penal-ties

        It's a ridiculous penalty. If this thing can slurp, the users should be paying extra.

  4. macjules

    Hopefully ...

    The cheques (checks) will arrive in plain-paper envelopes.

  5. TRT Silver badge

    Did they collect...

    IPee information?

    1. TitterYeNot

      Re: Did they collect...

      No, just the dirty MAC addresses...

    2. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Did they collect...

      Is it classed as a root'er?

      1. Fortycoats
        Thumb Up

        Re: Did they collect...

        "Is it classed as a root'er?"

        Only Down Under....

      2. eldakka

        Re: Did they collect...

        No, it is a root kit.

  6. Mephistro

    The makers can take all those IoT toys...

    ... and put them where the sun doesn't shine!

    Hmm... wait!...

  7. Simon Harris

    First with the news...

    I'm surprised I didn't already see this story on BuzzFeed

  8. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Do the residents of Denver just class their toys as 'martial aids' or 'medical equipment' ?

    1. Dr Who

      Do you mean like a throwing star, machine gun or light sabre? Now you can vibrate your enemies to death!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Dr Who

        I think that was tried in Barbarella

      2. Jedit Silver badge

        @Dr Who

        Ah, just the man to answer the question of the hour: does a dildo you connect to your PC require a sonic screw driver?

        (Mine's the one with jelly babies in the pocket ... both my coat and my Doctor.)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Do the residents of Denver just class their toys as 'martial aids' or 'medical equipment' ?"

      Such devices fall under "Sporting Goods"*.

      *NOT "Spurting Goods!" >:-(

    3. Crazy Operations Guy

      I'd think 'medical equipment'. Or at least that is what happens in Alabama where you need to get a doctor's permission to purchase one...

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Surely the first part of that word could easily be from telephone. Set it on vibrate, shove it up there and wait for the PPI calls to flood in. The future : already here.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: tele-what?

      Funny you should mention phones...

      Once upon a time, about 10 years ago, or so, I managed to hack an Ann Summers device with a MT8870 DTMF decoder, a 16F series PIC and a couple of MOSFETs, so it could be controlled remotely by phone and with a lot more features than the original controls allowed.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm still trying to work out which is more invasive.

    A dildo collecting personal information.


    Windows 10.

    I suppose they both f*ck you but in different ways.

  11. Terry 6 Silver badge

    The funny thing is...

    If you get delivery of a legally bought gun into Denver apparently you don't need to tell anyone. ( It does have to comply with both places' laws though).

  12. hi_robb


    I hope their lawyer stuck up for them

    1. Mark 85

      Re: Excellent

      Rumor has it that he's hard on the case....

      1. eldakka

        Re: Excellent

        He pounded away to exhaustion to deliver satisfaction.

  13. TheProf


    An internet connected vibrator?


    Oh, I see. Is that what Pokehermons is?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: IoT

      I'm hundreds of miles away for most of the week (fly out Sunday night/Monday morning, fly back Friday morning), so usage of something like this adds a level of intimacy that a phone / video call alone does not provide. The point is that your physical actions give pleasure to your partner on the other end.

      Why it has to go through a cloud service, I haven't the foggiest.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    fucking robots...

    See above (she asked for a double entendre. So I gave her one)

  15. David Roberts
    Thumb Up

    Smart Sex Toys

    Is that sex toys that are smart?

    Or just sex toys that smart?

    Thumb up because.....

  16. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    unjust enrichment

    Just as well they weren't complaining about unjust engorgement!

  17. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

    "Other data collected by the app included the “vibration intensity level selected by the user”."

    Do they go up to 11?

  18. ukgnome

    There is a real online buzz about this story

  19. thomas k

    "Don't speak."

    Why would we want sex toys smarter than our usual live fare?

  20. BinkyTheMagicPaperclip Silver badge

    Other data collected

    Included the ever so private information such as vibration intensity level

    Let me guess : starts slow, gets faster, on average gradually goes to maximum, then slows down again at least for a while. It's only (pocket) rocket science, they've already bought a vibrator, who'd be surprised what's being done with it?

  21. StheD

    When I was in grad school in 1977 I took an early course on microprocessors, and for an assignment on future applications turned in a paper on a microprocessor controlled vibrators (called SHTUP.)

    I kind of understand how Arthur C. Clarke felt about comsats now.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apparently, they won't be compensating you if you are a UK resident and bought the product. They will send an apologetic email...

    There's probably somewhere more appropriate they can shove that email..

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