back to article David Hockney creates new Sun masthead. Now for The Reg...

Artist David Hockney has redesigned the masthead of The Sun newspaper – and in the spirit of free expression and artistic endeavour we want you, dear Reg readers, to join us in honouring this beacon moment in the cultural life of Great Britain. 79-yr-old Hockney put finger to iPad on behalf of Rupert Murdoch’s super soaraway …

  1. graeme leggett

    Sun circulation

    "The Sun outsells all other national newspapers in print, "

    Yet they still can't get rid of them by giving them away at Shell petrol stations - well to me, anyway.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sun circulation

      Yet they still can't get rid of them by giving them away at Shell petrol stations - well to me, anyway.

      They kept trying to give away the Telegraph at ours, so now I go to the self service one at Asda where I don't have to fend off unwanted offers.

      1. phuzz Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: Sun circulation

        The Telegraph isn't that bad, and it's always better to read a newspaper that you don't agree with, it stops you from nodding mindlessly along with the editorial line in *insert favourite paper here*.

        Or, worst come to worst, the Torygraph is still a full sized broadsheet, so there's plenty of paper for lining the cats litter tray etc.

        My assumption of the average Telegraph reader >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Sun circulation

          Or, worst come to worst, the Torygraph is still a full sized broadsheet, so there's plenty of paper for lining the cats litter tray etc.

          Stragely enough (or not considering my handle on El Reg) this is my main use for newspapers.. That and (with previous elderly and somewhat senile dogs) putting down on the lino in the kitcken to sop up any unexpected events..

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Sun circulation

        "Free Telegraphs at Asda petrol stations", are they still doing this?

        If so I might deign to alter my commute slightly

        1. TeeCee Gold badge
          Coat

          Re: Sun circulation

          Why bother? You may currently drive past an Asda petrol station, but that doesn't mean you have to go in.

      3. Primus Secundus Tertius Silver badge

        Re: Sun circulation

        I object to the way the Telegraph now wants one to pay for access to much of the Internet version. If other publications can give free copies of printed papers, it must be even cheaper to offer Internet versions for free.

        I particularly object to being expected to pay to see readers' letters, which come to them for free.

    2. creepy gecko

      Re: Sun circulation

      You should accept the free copy of The Sun, and immediately tear it up (preferably in front of the person who gave it to you), and then bin it. Childish, but worth the effort.

      1. graeme leggett

        Re: Sun circulation

        And come over as a bit of a diva in front of the till assistant (and the CCTV) ?

        They don't care if you take it or not, same as if you don't buy slightly-cheaper-than-normal-but-probably-more-expensive-than-the-supermarket sweet offer in WHSmiths.

        If you take it and shred it, cover a homeless person with it, or use it for toilet paper it'll probably count as a 'sale' for circulation somewhere. And your own pleasure at the act is likely fleeting. If it stays on the counter then, and enough stay there, then perhaps Shell would think it not worth bothering with.

      2. hatti

        Re: Sun circulation

        Why not upcycle it via the toilet?

    3. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Unhappy

      Yet they still can't get rid of them by giving them away at Shell petrol stations

      Yes it's amazing.

      The huge circulation and no one admits to have actually bought a copy.

      Quite extraordinary.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Alien

        Re: Yet they still can't get rid of them by giving them away at Shell petrol stations

        The huge circulation and no one admits to have actually bought a copy.

        I'm not saying it's Aliens, but...

  2. Rick Leeming

    The Sun?

    Surely an emoji turd would be more appropriate for The Sun?

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: The Sun?

      Skype has an excellent (puke) emoji. It is especially graphic, depictive and fitting the Sun content in skype for web. Very nicely animated.

      1. BillG
        Devil

        New Reg Masthead?

        For God's sake, don't do it.

        Masthead redesigns will drive you batty. You're never sure if everyone will love it, or if people will universally say it sucks. The exercise of creating a new masthead evokes the inner craziness of your staff. When its over there will be new inner drama at your company.

        Don't do it.

        1. Martin Summers

          Re: New Reg Masthead?

          And the award for completely missing the point goes to... BillG!

    2. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: The Sun?

      I was thinking that Hockney had made a mistake in his choice of colour for the stuff dribbling down the side of the letters and pooling at their base. It should be brown.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The Sun?

        "...Hockney had made a mistake in his choice of colour..."

        I thought you were going to say you couldn't stand the sight of blood.

      2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Unhappy

        " It should be brown."

        Not at all.

        Have you not heard the expression "If it bleeds, it leads" ?

      3. Primus Secundus Tertius Silver badge

        Re: The Sun?

        There are people who can't distinguish those colours:

        1. The lad I grew up with who in snooker could not distinguish the brown from the reds

        2. The colleague on a computerised maps project who could not distinguish the brown and red roads.

    3. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: The Sun?

      I was surprised that a female breast (or pair of them) was not included in the new logo.

    4. annodomini2

      Re: The Sun?

      I think turd would appropriately apply to most if not all newspapers.

  3. frank ly

    Starting something

    Will you be using the winning entry as your masthead for a while? It would be nice. You could 'go Google' and vary your masthead in accordance with world events, perhaps tuned to IT subjects.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't Buy the Sun

    #jft96

    1. DavCrav

      Re: Don't Buy the Sun

      "Don't Buy the Sun

      #jft96"

      That isn't my reason for not buying the Sun. I don't because it's shit.

    2. Martin Summers

      Re: Don't Buy the Sun

      If someone offers to sell you the sun I'd steer well clear, quite obvious it's hot.

      1. The IT Ghost

        Re: Don't Buy the Sun

        Now there's a bright lad

  5. sorry, what?
    WTF?

    Already set and waiting...

    See attached icon.

    1. sorry, what?
      Pint

      Re: Already set and waiting...

      I should have been clear - that's the masthead for The Sun. The icon here is for El Reg.

  6. wolfetone Silver badge

    It would be good of El Reg to ammend the article to reference the shite rag newspaper by it's proper title: The Sun.

    #JFT96

    1. Little Mouse Silver badge
      Headmaster

      its proper title

      The The Sun.

      1. wolfetone Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Thought for all the world that I wrote The S*n.

  7. jake Silver badge
    Pint

    "post your versions in the comments section"

    How, pray tell? ASCII-art? With this font? And your 'orrible interpretation of the eternal CR/LF battle? Sounds like all the headaches & none of the reward of programming for a multi-national to me. Ta for the offer, but no thanks :-)

    Beer for all who submit a published attempt, though!

    1. sorry, what?
      Megaphone

      Re: "post your versions in the comments section"

      I tried ASCIIart - couldn't do it.

      HTML pre tags didn't work.   didn't work. Gave up in the end and used some ready made icons I found ;)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "post your versions in the comments section"

      "How, pray tell? ASCII-art?"

      If only you could put links in the comments section. Oh, you can

    3. phuzz Silver badge

      Re: "post your versions in the comments section"

      I tried to make an ASCII version, I clearly should stick to IT not art.

      Pastebin version because it really doesn't work without a monospace font.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: "post your versions in the comments section"

        Q. What kind of person clicks on random links to web sites?

        A. A pwned person.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "post your versions in the comments section"

          "What kind of person clicks on random links to web sites?"

          It wouldn't be random, it would require the to create the image and link to it using some html coding, nothing random, pretty intentional.

          However, withe regards to getting "pwned", If only, there was some way of doing some basic checking of a link before clicking on it. Oh there is. Pay me $200 and I'll talk you through it.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    OMFG!

    Mention The Sun and 3...2...1...Scouse professional victims are out in force...

    Caveat, I'm no fan of The Sun, I just hate modern victim culture. And obviously I hate scousers because they transported my ancestors on the slave ships out of Liverpool.

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      Re: OMFG!

      "1 in 5 Muslims back Jihadis"

      "Irish homelessness soars, why don't they go back to Ireland? The streets of London are no more comfortable"

      "Bonkers Bruno Locked Up"

      "Zip me up before you go go"

      Just some of the examples of the shite The Sun peddles to the masses who don't want to be seen buying porn.

      But colluding in the cover up's of 96 dead human beings, and then accusing people who hate that rag of being "scouse professional victims"? Are you offended that your bible is seen for what it is sir?

      1. gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

        sigh

        Nice to see a bit of light-hearted Friday fun get hijacked by someone with chips on both shoulders and up both nostrils to boot.

        1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

          Re: sigh

          Nice to see a bit of light-hearted Friday fun get hijacked by someone with chips on both shoulders and up both nostrils to boot.

          Fun is overrated anyway.

          1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

            Re: sigh

            I had fun once. It was awful.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: OMFG!

        "Just some of the examples of the shite The Sun peddles to the masses who don't want to be seen buying porn."

        Isn't porn the less embarrassing option?

    2. Philip Storry
      Coat

      Re: OMFG!

      Oh, come on. I think you're being a bit harsh there.

      Anyone who transports people out of Liverpool is almost certainly doing them a favour...

    3. batfastad

      Re: OMFG!

      > And obviously I hate scousers because they transported my ancestors on the slave ships out of Liverpool.

      Yes, scousers still to this day are renowned throughout the world for their magnificent wealth gained off the back of the slave trade.

      1. TheProf
        Unhappy

        Re: OMFG!

        Yes these are sad times for Black people in Liverpool.

        Only the other day I saw two middle-aged white men stand up and offer their seats on the bus to a young black man carrying a small child, and an elderly black woman.

        None of them were reading The Sun

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: OMFG! - None of them were reading The Sun

          Oblig. Porridge quote - "Get me the Sun - and something to read."

          Sadly missed.

        2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
          Devil

          Re: OMFG!

          Only the other day I saw two middle-aged white men stand up and offer their seats on the bus to a young black man carrying a small child, and an elderly black woman.

          Well they shouldn't have. If the guy is fit enough to be carrying a child and an elderly woman at the same time, then he doesn't need a seat...

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      And obviously I hate scousers

      Because modern Liverpudlians continue with the vile slave trade?

      Because you are personally hunted down if you set foot in Merseyside?

      No.

      Because you are without the human compassion you accuse Scousers of lacking!

      Because you claim the same kind of victimisation as The Sun haters.

      Because you are a dick!

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: OMFG!

      How fucked is that? If you moan about or don't buy the snu then your obviously a 'professional victim' and a 'scouser'. You don't like liverpudlians because they transported 'your' ancestors out of Liverpool on 'slave ships'. Yet you don't like the snu yourself, do you not perceive some sort of contradiction in your construction? AC too obviously haven't got the balls of D.T.

      1. PTW

        Re: OMFG!

        AC too obviously haven't got the balls of D.T. - posted by AC

        Irony overload in this thread!

    6. Triggerfish

      Re: OMFG!

      I just hate modern victim culture. And obviously I hate scousers because they transported my ancestors on the slave ships out of Liverpool.

      Irony?

    7. Oh Homer
      Childcatcher

      Scousers committed slavery?

      Correction, wealthy predators committed slavery.

      Most Scousers were (and are) not wealthy predators.

      In fact the same goes for the masses in general, with respect to any given social injustice.

  9. Andy00ff00

    Too obvious

    https://goo.gl/photos/b1BFZQR69rWrTV9K7

  10. lglethal Silver badge
    Joke

    I think thats the definition of phoning in a commision. Quite literally if Hockney did it on his iphone...

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Looks like something a 4 year old might do. It might be a bit too advanced for The Sun.

  11. Dave 126 Silver badge

    Just trying to imagine....

    ... the Sun's masthead being an young man sunbathing naked by a Californian swimming pool, a la young Hockney. Hmm, can't see it appealing to the target market.

    Now, a young woman sunbathing topless by a pool might work for the Sun, but even then the colour palette is mainly blue, and not the Currant Bun's usual red.

  12. IHateWearingATie
    Pint

    Important question....

    .... which pub do you go to on a Friday night?

    Need to know in case I win. Me and 'scarface' Jack will shake those USB keys out of you.

    1. Huw D

      Re: Important question....

      I'd start looking in this area...

      1. Blitheringeejit
        Coat

        Re: this area

        Good god, you mean El Reg is so minted that it has offices in that London? I always thought it was a shoestring startup based out of a garden shed in Middlesborough. But now that I realise they are so wealthy, I shall cancel my subscription immediately ... no, er.. wait a minute...

  13. MJI Silver badge

    I do not understand why people get the sun

    It is rough and does not clean well.

    This is MUCH better

    http://www.tesco.com/groceries/product/details/?id=281056020

    1. HAL-9000

      Re: I do not understand why people get the sun

      If you pick up an old free copy, and scrunch it up very well prior to cutting it into 8cm wide strips then I find it does a marvellous job. No smearing, no scratching, best of all they always have pictures of Theresa and Boris inside.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I do not understand why people get the sun

        Aha,

        Back to the WW1 trenches style. I am fairly sure there was a name for this...

  14. Oliver Humpage
    Angel

    Holy light

    We all know the Holy Jobs provided the light and cast all others into the shade

  15. Haku

    El Reg and Sun, hmm...

    http://www.haku.co.uk/pics/ElRegMasthead.jpg

    Don't ask me why, I've been up for 15 hours!

    1. Simon Rockman

      Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

      I rather like that

    2. IsJustabloke
      Trollface

      Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

      It is quite good but somehow lacks a certain Britishness that I think The Reg needs.

      1. Haku

        Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

        @IsJustabloke

        Something a bit more British you say?

        http://www.haku.co.uk/pics/RforRegister.jpg

        1. IsJustabloke

          Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

          "Something a bit more British you say?"

          Good work!

          1. Haku

            Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

            Thanks, though being awake for 20 hours now I just realised it could've been a lot easier to make the image using a different word, so I did:

            http://www.haku.co.uk/pics/VforVulture.jpg

            And that's me done for the day.

        2. Locky

          Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

          Most impressive

    3. hplasm
      Thumb Up

      Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

      Nice, yet touchingly imperial!

    4. Alistair
      Pint

      Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

      @ Haku:

      You've been up for 15 hours playing Wolfenstein haven't you?

    5. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

      http://www.haku.co.uk/pics/ElRegMasthead.jpg

      Don't ask me why, I've been up for 15 hours!

      Ahh - to be back in the Land of the Rising Vulture..

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...Don't ask me why, I've been up for 15 hours

      I like it but, if you've been up for 15 hours and you aren't a computer, you need to see a doctor. Or stop taking blue pills every few hours.

  16. Triggerfish

    Right to much serious

    It's Friday. I am off the photoshop a logo of a playmobile man kicking his way through the el Reg masthead and giving the finger to an apple shaped fruit.

    1. Haku
      Coat

      Re: Right to much serious

      You know that old adage "An apple a day keeps the doctor at bay"?

      No it doesn't, I damn nearly broke my jaw trying to chew an iPad!

  17. frank ly

    Here goes:-

    https://justpaste.it/133ws

    (I've often been told that my art is a 'cheap and simple pastiche')

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: Here goes:-

      I will always treasure the memory of being told by the headmaster at my secondary school that I was "sub-Pythonesque", having been caught red-handed passing "comedy sketches" back and forth with a classmate.

  18. sorry, what?
    Coat

    ?

    https://jpst.it/SLuk

  19. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    Sorry, no can do.

    I have all the artistic talent of a cluster of colourblind hedgehogs. In a bag.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Sorry, no can do.

      Considering what passes for modern Art these days, a cluster of colourblind hedgehogs in a bag would probably earn you a Turner Prize...

    2. Franco Silver badge

      Re: Sorry, no can do.

      I wonder, Sir, if you have enjoyed, as I have, "Bag Interior" by the colourblind hedgehogs.

  20. This post has been deleted by its author

  21. Alistair
    Windows

    visio

    I could do up a data center diagram that spelled out EL REG in the rack spacing. But I don't think any of the commentariati would be too happy about having the masthead as a pdf.

    Otherwise my "art" resembles cranially reduced gallian podiatrically applied abrasions.

    1. Hero Protagonist

      Re: visio

      "But I don't think any of the commentariati would be too happy"

      "Commentards" if you please.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Who is more popular with whom?

    I bet Rupert loves the fact that his readers believed the Brexit stories and voted out, thus saving him £2.925B on the price of Sky TV.

  23. This post has been deleted by its author

  24. thebernierjake

    the horror

    https://justpaste.it/13458

  25. g00se
    Paris Hilton

    Too romantic

    Hockney's bottle-end specs must be developing a rose tint. This is more like it:

    http://technojeeves.com/tech/sun300.png

  26. Lee D

    Again demonstrating the distinction between "art" (interpretation, etc.) and craftsmanship (actual skill required to emulate or reproduce).

    The great masters were are craftsman and artists. The modern bunch could be redrawn by a five year old. There are craftsman on YouTube who can draw a photorealistic portrait with nothing but coloured pencils, but they get nothing and this idiot splats out some MS Paint monstrosity and gets paid more than most people earn in a lifetime for one work of his "art".

    Sorry, mate, but you're a con artist whose stuff is bought because other prats want to be different. And I've met far too many of your type who think they're doing some kind of service to the world.

    If I had a time machine, I'd gather all the great names together and watch them bludgeon almost every "artist" since Picasso onwards with an elaborately carved marble statue of a giant phallus.

  27. d3vy

    Hey, if your not using paint you're cheating.

    Maybe a new masthead for the US site?

    https://1drv.ms/i/s!AlOWT_GGqqbfg_8dIxPz1eRxSzbGGg

    Yes there's a massive gap in it... we ran out of budget half way through and couldn't raise funds to get it finished.

    It's still the best masthead, everyone loves it, its been viewed by more people than viewed the 2008 masthead. Make the register great again!

  28. Captain DaFt

    "You agree to give us the rights to your immortal soul in exchange for entering."

    Well, that means I can't enter, got no soul. :(

  29. Baldy50

    Hillsborough!

    That's why I hate the Sun scum.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Hillsborough!

      We (TINW) did that one already. On Page 1. Do you always skip ahead to Pages 2&3? I wonder where you might have picked up that habit ...

      And is that seriously the only reason you hate The Sun? You would happily read it if it weren't for that one piece of !journalism? Inquiring minds & all that.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I like your (R) sun, it actually casts shadow on the 'illuminated' side of the crayoned letters. Is it allegorical?

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Looks like Hockney is taking the piss, Who'd know?

  32. HAL-9000

    Bit late

    Thought this would be approropriate for certain domains, e.g. https://the-new-truth.trump

    https://imageshack.com/i/pmN7qTkSg

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    El Reg

    not The Register

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