David Hockney creates new Sun masthead. Now for The Reg...

Artist David Hockney has redesigned the masthead of The Sun newspaper – and in the spirit of free expression and artistic endeavour we want you, dear Reg readers, to join us in honouring this beacon moment in the cultural life of Great Britain. 79-yr-old Hockney put finger to iPad on behalf of Rupert Murdoch’s super soaraway …

[graeme leggett]

Sun circulation

"The Sun outsells all other national newspapers in print, "

Yet they still can't get rid of them by giving them away at Shell petrol stations - well to me, anyway.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Sun circulation

Yet they still can't get rid of them by giving them away at Shell petrol stations - well to me, anyway.

They kept trying to give away the Telegraph at ours, so now I go to the self service one at Asda where I don't have to fend off unwanted offers.

[phuzz]

Re: Sun circulation

The Telegraph isn't that bad, and it's always better to read a newspaper that you don't agree with, it stops you from nodding mindlessly along with the editorial line in *insert favourite paper here*.

Or, worst come to worst, the Torygraph is still a full sized broadsheet, so there's plenty of paper for lining the cats litter tray etc.

My assumption of the average Telegraph reader >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[CrazyOldCatMan]

Re: Sun circulation

Or, worst come to worst, the Torygraph is still a full sized broadsheet, so there's plenty of paper for lining the cats litter tray etc.

Stragely enough (or not considering my handle on El Reg) this is my main use for newspapers.. That and (with previous elderly and somewhat senile dogs) putting down on the lino in the kitcken to sop up any unexpected events..

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Sun circulation

"Free Telegraphs at Asda petrol stations", are they still doing this?

If so I might deign to alter my commute slightly

[TeeCee]

Re: Sun circulation

Why bother? You may currently drive past an Asda petrol station, but that doesn't mean you have to go in.

[Primus Secundus Tertius]

Re: Sun circulation

I object to the way the Telegraph now wants one to pay for access to much of the Internet version. If other publications can give free copies of printed papers, it must be even cheaper to offer Internet versions for free.

I particularly object to being expected to pay to see readers' letters, which come to them for free.

[creepy gecko]

Re: Sun circulation

You should accept the free copy of The Sun, and immediately tear it up (preferably in front of the person who gave it to you), and then bin it. Childish, but worth the effort.

[graeme leggett]

Re: Sun circulation

And come over as a bit of a diva in front of the till assistant (and the CCTV) ?

They don't care if you take it or not, same as if you don't buy slightly-cheaper-than-normal-but-probably-more-expensive-than-the-supermarket sweet offer in WHSmiths.

If you take it and shred it, cover a homeless person with it, or use it for toilet paper it'll probably count as a 'sale' for circulation somewhere. And your own pleasure at the act is likely fleeting. If it stays on the counter then, and enough stay there, then perhaps Shell would think it not worth bothering with.

[hatti]

Re: Sun circulation

Why not upcycle it via the toilet?

[John Smith 19]

Yet they still can't get rid of them by giving them away at Shell petrol stations

Yes it's amazing.

The huge circulation and no one admits to have actually bought a copy.

Quite extraordinary.

[Destroy All Monsters]

Re: Yet they still can't get rid of them by giving them away at Shell petrol stations

The huge circulation and no one admits to have actually bought a copy.

I'm not saying it's Aliens, but...

[Rick Leeming]

The Sun?

Surely an emoji turd would be more appropriate for The Sun?

[Voland's right hand]

Re: The Sun?

Skype has an excellent (puke) emoji. It is especially graphic, depictive and fitting the Sun content in skype for web. Very nicely animated.

[BillG]

New Reg Masthead?

For God's sake, don't do it.

Masthead redesigns will drive you batty. You're never sure if everyone will love it, or if people will universally say it sucks. The exercise of creating a new masthead evokes the inner craziness of your staff. When its over there will be new inner drama at your company.

Don't do it.

[Martin Summers]

Re: New Reg Masthead?

And the award for completely missing the point goes to... BillG!

[Rich 11]

Re: The Sun?

I was thinking that Hockney had made a mistake in his choice of colour for the stuff dribbling down the side of the letters and pooling at their base. It should be brown.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: The Sun?

"...Hockney had made a mistake in his choice of colour..."

I thought you were going to say you couldn't stand the sight of blood.

[John Smith 19]

" It should be brown."

Not at all.

Have you not heard the expression "If it bleeds, it leads" ?

[Primus Secundus Tertius]

Re: The Sun?

There are people who can't distinguish those colours:

1. The lad I grew up with who in snooker could not distinguish the brown from the reds

2. The colleague on a computerised maps project who could not distinguish the brown and red roads.

[Antron Argaiv]

Re: The Sun?

I was surprised that a female breast (or pair of them) was not included in the new logo.

[annodomini2]

Re: The Sun?

I think turd would appropriately apply to most if not all newspapers.

[frank ly]

Starting something

Will you be using the winning entry as your masthead for a while? It would be nice. You could 'go Google' and vary your masthead in accordance with world events, perhaps tuned to IT subjects.

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't Buy the Sun

#jft96

[DavCrav]

Re: Don't Buy the Sun

"Don't Buy the Sun

#jft96"

That isn't my reason for not buying the Sun. I don't because it's shit.

[Martin Summers]

Re: Don't Buy the Sun

If someone offers to sell you the sun I'd steer well clear, quite obvious it's hot.

[The IT Ghost]

Re: Don't Buy the Sun

Now there's a bright lad

[sorry, what?]

Already set and waiting...

See attached icon.

[sorry, what?]

Re: Already set and waiting...

I should have been clear - that's the masthead for The Sun. The icon here is for El Reg.

[wolfetone]

It would be good of El Reg to ammend the article to reference the shite rag newspaper by it's proper title: The Sun.

#JFT96

[Little Mouse]

its proper title

The The Sun.

[wolfetone]

Thought for all the world that I wrote The S*n.

[jake]

"post your versions in the comments section"

How, pray tell? ASCII-art? With this font? And your 'orrible interpretation of the eternal CR/LF battle? Sounds like all the headaches & none of the reward of programming for a multi-national to me. Ta for the offer, but no thanks :-)

Beer for all who submit a published attempt, though!

[sorry, what?]

Re: "post your versions in the comments section"

I tried ASCIIart - couldn't do it.

HTML pre tags didn't work.   didn't work. Gave up in the end and used some ready made icons I found ;)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: "post your versions in the comments section"

"How, pray tell? ASCII-art?"

If only you could put links in the comments section. Oh, you can

[phuzz]

Re: "post your versions in the comments section"

I tried to make an ASCII version, I clearly should stick to IT not art.

Pastebin version because it really doesn't work without a monospace font.

[jake]

Re: "post your versions in the comments section"

Q. What kind of person clicks on random links to web sites?

A. A pwned person.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: "post your versions in the comments section"

"What kind of person clicks on random links to web sites?"

It wouldn't be random, it would require the to create the image and link to it using some html coding, nothing random, pretty intentional.

However, withe regards to getting "pwned", If only, there was some way of doing some basic checking of a link before clicking on it. Oh there is. Pay me $200 and I'll talk you through it.

[Anonymous Coward]

OMFG!

Mention The Sun and 3...2...1...Scouse professional victims are out in force...

Caveat, I'm no fan of The Sun, I just hate modern victim culture. And obviously I hate scousers because they transported my ancestors on the slave ships out of Liverpool.

[wolfetone]

Re: OMFG!

"1 in 5 Muslims back Jihadis"

"Irish homelessness soars, why don't they go back to Ireland? The streets of London are no more comfortable"

"Bonkers Bruno Locked Up"

"Zip me up before you go go"

Just some of the examples of the shite The Sun peddles to the masses who don't want to be seen buying porn.

But colluding in the cover up's of 96 dead human beings, and then accusing people who hate that rag of being "scouse professional victims"? Are you offended that your bible is seen for what it is sir?

[gazthejourno]

sigh

Nice to see a bit of light-hearted Friday fun get hijacked by someone with chips on both shoulders and up both nostrils to boot.

[Destroy All Monsters]

Re: sigh

Nice to see a bit of light-hearted Friday fun get hijacked by someone with chips on both shoulders and up both nostrils to boot.

Fun is overrated anyway.

[allthecoolshortnamesweretaken]

Re: sigh

I had fun once. It was awful.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: OMFG!

"Just some of the examples of the shite The Sun peddles to the masses who don't want to be seen buying porn."

Isn't porn the less embarrassing option?

[Philip Storry]

Re: OMFG!

Oh, come on. I think you're being a bit harsh there.

Anyone who transports people out of Liverpool is almost certainly doing them a favour...

[batfastad]

Re: OMFG!

> And obviously I hate scousers because they transported my ancestors on the slave ships out of Liverpool.

Yes, scousers still to this day are renowned throughout the world for their magnificent wealth gained off the back of the slave trade.

[TheProf]

Re: OMFG!

Yes these are sad times for Black people in Liverpool.

Only the other day I saw two middle-aged white men stand up and offer their seats on the bus to a young black man carrying a small child, and an elderly black woman.

None of them were reading The Sun

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: OMFG! - None of them were reading The Sun

Oblig. Porridge quote - "Get me the Sun - and something to read."

Sadly missed.

[I ain't Spartacus]

Re: OMFG!

Only the other day I saw two middle-aged white men stand up and offer their seats on the bus to a young black man carrying a small child, and an elderly black woman.

Well they shouldn't have. If the guy is fit enough to be carrying a child and an elderly woman at the same time, then he doesn't need a seat...

[Anonymous Coward]

And obviously I hate scousers

Because modern Liverpudlians continue with the vile slave trade?

Because you are personally hunted down if you set foot in Merseyside?

No.

Because you are without the human compassion you accuse Scousers of lacking!

Because you claim the same kind of victimisation as The Sun haters.

Because you are a dick!

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: OMFG!

How fucked is that? If you moan about or don't buy the snu then your obviously a 'professional victim' and a 'scouser'. You don't like liverpudlians because they transported 'your' ancestors out of Liverpool on 'slave ships'. Yet you don't like the snu yourself, do you not perceive some sort of contradiction in your construction? AC too obviously haven't got the balls of D.T.

[PTW]

Re: OMFG!

AC too obviously haven't got the balls of D.T. - posted by AC

Irony overload in this thread!

[Triggerfish]

Re: OMFG!

I just hate modern victim culture. And obviously I hate scousers because they transported my ancestors on the slave ships out of Liverpool.

Irony?

[Oh Homer]

Scousers committed slavery?

Correction, wealthy predators committed slavery.

Most Scousers were (and are) not wealthy predators.

In fact the same goes for the masses in general, with respect to any given social injustice.

[Andy00ff00]

Too obvious

https://goo.gl/photos/b1BFZQR69rWrTV9K7

[lglethal]

I think thats the definition of phoning in a commision. Quite literally if Hockney did it on his iphone...

[John Brown (no body)]

Looks like something a 4 year old might do. It might be a bit too advanced for The Sun.

[Dave 126]

Just trying to imagine....

... the Sun's masthead being an young man sunbathing naked by a Californian swimming pool, a la young Hockney. Hmm, can't see it appealing to the target market.

Now, a young woman sunbathing topless by a pool might work for the Sun, but even then the colour palette is mainly blue, and not the Currant Bun's usual red.

[IHateWearingATie]

Important question....

.... which pub do you go to on a Friday night?

Need to know in case I win. Me and 'scarface' Jack will shake those USB keys out of you.

[Huw D]

Re: Important question....

I'd start looking in this area...

[Blitheringeejit]

Re: this area

Good god, you mean El Reg is so minted that it has offices in that London? I always thought it was a shoestring startup based out of a garden shed in Middlesborough. But now that I realise they are so wealthy, I shall cancel my subscription immediately ... no, er.. wait a minute...

[MJI]

I do not understand why people get the sun

It is rough and does not clean well.

This is MUCH better

http://www.tesco.com/groceries/product/details/?id=281056020

[HAL-9000]

Re: I do not understand why people get the sun

If you pick up an old free copy, and scrunch it up very well prior to cutting it into 8cm wide strips then I find it does a marvellous job. No smearing, no scratching, best of all they always have pictures of Theresa and Boris inside.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I do not understand why people get the sun

Aha,

Back to the WW1 trenches style. I am fairly sure there was a name for this...

[Oliver Humpage]

Holy light

We all know the Holy Jobs provided the light and cast all others into the shade

[Haku]

El Reg and Sun, hmm...

http://www.haku.co.uk/pics/ElRegMasthead.jpg

Don't ask me why, I've been up for 15 hours!

[Simon Rockman]

Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

I rather like that

[IsJustabloke]

Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

It is quite good but somehow lacks a certain Britishness that I think The Reg needs.

[Haku]

Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

@IsJustabloke

Something a bit more British you say?

http://www.haku.co.uk/pics/RforRegister.jpg

[IsJustabloke]

Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

"Something a bit more British you say?"

Good work!

[Haku]

Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

Thanks, though being awake for 20 hours now I just realised it could've been a lot easier to make the image using a different word, so I did:

http://www.haku.co.uk/pics/VforVulture.jpg

And that's me done for the day.

[Locky]

Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

Most impressive

[hplasm]

Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

Nice, yet touchingly imperial!

[Alistair]

Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

@ Haku:

You've been up for 15 hours playing Wolfenstein haven't you?

[CrazyOldCatMan]

Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

http://www.haku.co.uk/pics/ElRegMasthead.jpg

Don't ask me why, I've been up for 15 hours!

Ahh - to be back in the Land of the Rising Vulture..

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...Don't ask me why, I've been up for 15 hours

I like it but, if you've been up for 15 hours and you aren't a computer, you need to see a doctor. Or stop taking blue pills every few hours.

[Triggerfish]

Right to much serious

It's Friday. I am off the photoshop a logo of a playmobile man kicking his way through the el Reg masthead and giving the finger to an apple shaped fruit.

[Haku]

Re: Right to much serious

You know that old adage "An apple a day keeps the doctor at bay"?

No it doesn't, I damn nearly broke my jaw trying to chew an iPad!

[frank ly]

Here goes:-

https://justpaste.it/133ws

(I've often been told that my art is a 'cheap and simple pastiche')

[David 132]

Re: Here goes:-

I will always treasure the memory of being told by the headmaster at my secondary school that I was "sub-Pythonesque", having been caught red-handed passing "comedy sketches" back and forth with a classmate.

[sorry, what?]

?

https://jpst.it/SLuk

[I ain't Spartacus]

Sorry, no can do.

I have all the artistic talent of a cluster of colourblind hedgehogs. In a bag.

[lglethal]

Re: Sorry, no can do.

Considering what passes for modern Art these days, a cluster of colourblind hedgehogs in a bag would probably earn you a Turner Prize...

[Franco]

Re: Sorry, no can do.

I wonder, Sir, if you have enjoyed, as I have, "Bag Interior" by the colourblind hedgehogs.

[Alistair]

visio

I could do up a data center diagram that spelled out EL REG in the rack spacing. But I don't think any of the commentariati would be too happy about having the masthead as a pdf.

Otherwise my "art" resembles cranially reduced gallian podiatrically applied abrasions.

[Hero Protagonist]

Re: visio

"But I don't think any of the commentariati would be too happy"

"Commentards" if you please.

[Anonymous Coward]

Who is more popular with whom?

I bet Rupert loves the fact that his readers believed the Brexit stories and voted out, thus saving him £2.925B on the price of Sky TV.

[thebernierjake]

the horror

https://justpaste.it/13458

[g00se]

Too romantic

Hockney's bottle-end specs must be developing a rose tint. This is more like it:

http://technojeeves.com/tech/sun300.png

[Lee D]

Again demonstrating the distinction between "art" (interpretation, etc.) and craftsmanship (actual skill required to emulate or reproduce).

The great masters were are craftsman and artists. The modern bunch could be redrawn by a five year old. There are craftsman on YouTube who can draw a photorealistic portrait with nothing but coloured pencils, but they get nothing and this idiot splats out some MS Paint monstrosity and gets paid more than most people earn in a lifetime for one work of his "art".

Sorry, mate, but you're a con artist whose stuff is bought because other prats want to be different. And I've met far too many of your type who think they're doing some kind of service to the world.

If I had a time machine, I'd gather all the great names together and watch them bludgeon almost every "artist" since Picasso onwards with an elaborately carved marble statue of a giant phallus.

[d3vy]

Hey, if your not using paint you're cheating.

Maybe a new masthead for the US site?

https://1drv.ms/i/s!AlOWT_GGqqbfg_8dIxPz1eRxSzbGGg

Yes there's a massive gap in it... we ran out of budget half way through and couldn't raise funds to get it finished.

It's still the best masthead, everyone loves it, its been viewed by more people than viewed the 2008 masthead. Make the register great again!

[Captain DaFt]

"You agree to give us the rights to your immortal soul in exchange for entering."

Well, that means I can't enter, got no soul. :(

[Baldy50]

Hillsborough!

That's why I hate the Sun scum.

[jake]

Re: Hillsborough!

We (TINW) did that one already. On Page 1. Do you always skip ahead to Pages 2&3? I wonder where you might have picked up that habit ...

And is that seriously the only reason you hate The Sun? You would happily read it if it weren't for that one piece of !journalism? Inquiring minds & all that.

[Anonymous Coward]

I like your (R) sun, it actually casts shadow on the 'illuminated' side of the crayoned letters. Is it allegorical?

[Anonymous Coward]

Looks like Hockney is taking the piss, Who'd know?

[HAL-9000]

Bit late

Thought this would be approropriate for certain domains, e.g. https://the-new-truth.trump

https://imageshack.com/i/pmN7qTkSg

[Anonymous Coward]

El Reg

not The Register