back to article Now that's a Blue Screen of Death: Windows 10 told me to jump off a cliff

By now, Windows 10 users have grown accustomed to the photos and inspirational quotes from Microsoft adorning their lock screens. Usually, they are just pleasant landscape or architecture pics, with a randomly selected line or two of text to accompany them. Other times, however, they can be a bit unnerving. For Reg reader …

  1. Hans 1
    WTF?

    Forgot your meds this morning ?

    I think you have to be extremely deranged to see a subliminal suicide message in the picture+text.

    Check my handle, YES, I am the MHP, (Microsoft Most Hated Professional) and even I think this is taking it too far.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

      I bet you're a blast at parties.

    2. Olius

      Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

      Have you seen Groundhog Day?

      1. Martin Summers Silver badge

        Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

        "Have you seen Groundhog Day?"

        Have you seen Groundhog Day?

    3. Dr. Mouse

      Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

      "I think you have to be extremely deranged to see a subliminal suicide message in the picture+text."

      To not see it, you must;

      a) lack a sense of humour, and

      b) have never been on the dark side of depression.

      1. Hans 1

        Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

        >To not see it, you must;

        >a) lack a sense of humour, and

        >b) have never been on the dark side of depression.

        I have been through depression, yes, THROUGH DEPRESSION, and I am proud of having gone through just that, it gives me a sense pride, a force, I will never ever let myself go there again ... it cost me a marriage, wife at the time told me "I cannot help you, you need to help yourself!" ... needless to say she did not last long, I ditched her as soon as I had started recovering! In hindsight, SHE was the cause of my depression ... never felt better since I dumped her ;-)

        Now, something that is very easy to say, yet, so full of wisdom: "If you are desperate enough to commit the irreparable then it can only get better!"

        You cannot blame an image, a song (Judas Priest) or whatever ... that is just brain-dead.

    4. hplasm
      Meh

      Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

      Who are you and what have MS done with Hans1?

    5. FuzzyWuzzys
      Facepalm

      Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

      While I can see the humour, yes it's an amusing combo, the fact that MS take this seriously says there's a lot of very easily influenced people out there and explains why the "Lads from Lagos" can still make a killing from the mugs that are out there.

      To me the combination in the image was very inspirational, it tells me that life is hard and a tough struggle but the first step on that road through life's troubles is going to make all the difference. If anyone picked up suicide from this combo of image and text I strongly suggest you seek immediate psychiatric help!

      1. Olius

        Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

        That may be true, Fuzzy, but personally my first step would be in a direction away from the cliff edge, as that step is indeed a "doozy".

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

      I have almost exactly that view/image on my Linux Desktop (OK, I admit it's the cliffs on Orkney), but I've never once associated it with jumping off a cliff. Funny That.

      Must be a Windows thing.

    7. Crazy Operations Guy

      "I think you have to be extremely deranged"

      No, you just have to have read the news lately.

      Seeing what is happening around the world within the halls of power kind of make me want to throw myself off a cliff, although that wouldn't be such a bad cliff to do it.

  2. phy445

    Pedantic geography point

    The Cliffs of Moher are somewhat to the south of Galway Bay making the leap even bigger than implied by the story.

    1. Pedigree-Pete
      Thumb Up

      Re: Pedantic geography point

      Good point phy445. A quick Google map search suggests they are some way from Galway Bay, even the south side. Pedants UNITE! PP

  3. macjules Silver badge
    Coat

    Sat Nagivation ...

    Must be a new feature to Windows Maps .. "You have reached your dest..."

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: Sat Nagivation ...

      To be fair to Microsoft, Apple maps would have put you in the middle of Dublin.

      1. Kiwi
        Trollface

        Re: Sat Nagivation ...

        To be fair to Microsoft, Apple maps would have put you in the middle of Dublin.

        That may be true.. But on MS maps the cliffs aren't there, they didn't even exist the last time it was updated!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sat Nagivation ...

      Where do you want to go todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay?

    3. LDS Silver badge

      "You have reached your dest..."

      "...iny" ?

      1. Andrew Moore

        Re: "You have reached your dest..."

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTcBWo4Aj0g

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Coat

        Re: "You have reached your dest..."

        "..iny" or ".ini"?

        OK, I know, coat & exit

  4. jake Silver badge

    180 degrees for me ...

    ... just turn around & walk away from Redmond's constant churn (not unlike the waves at the bottom of that cliff). It's the only sane thing to do.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: 180 degrees for me ...

      Maybe that is the subliminal suggestion in the picture. Sure, first step is a doozy. Just make it in the right direction.

    2. Patrician
      Facepalm

      Re: 180 degrees for me ...

      ... just turn around & walk away from Redmond's constant churn (not unlike the waves at the bottom of that cliff). It's the only sane thing to do.

      YAY! I never expected a pro-Linux post to appear, really I never did!!

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: 180 degrees for me ...

        Who mentioned Linux? Seriously, I'm just anti-Redmond (and Cupertino, London, etc, for the same exact reasons).

  5. Michael H.F. Wilkinson
    Joke

    Maybe the tablet, sorry, "surface" was feeling depressed

    what with the pain in all the diodes down its left side.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Maybe the tablet, sorry, "surface" was feeling depressed

      There is a long standing suspicion that Sirius Cybernetics corporation has a branch in Redmond WA.

      1. LDS Silver badge

        Re: Maybe the tablet, sorry, "surface" was feeling depressed

        You mean the Surfaces is called Marvin?

        1. Bob Wheeler

          Re: Maybe the tablet, sorry, "surface" was feeling depressed

          @LDS

          That's not what I call my Surface.....

        2. bombastic bob Silver badge
          Devil

          Re: Maybe the tablet, sorry, "surface" was feeling depressed

          "You mean the Surfaces is called Marvin?"

          That explains the DE-motivational message

          42

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cant say I've ever noticed any of these motivational blah blahs on ms wallpaper.

    Then again Ive not looked at it. On the rare occasions i wanted wallpaper I found my own.

    Who has wallpaper? were not 10 year olds! it was a novelty in win 95, but it soon wears off.

    You never see it if your doing any work , and it means u cant see your icons.

    The only wallpaper Ive seen recently is some kind of sandy rock desert wind carving. or is it a beach , dunno seems to be default win 10 behaviour for the pre logon screen . could be a screen saver

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Wow the happy party people are in force today.

      Maybe all the Windows 10 data harvesting was worth it. The bot learned how to be a sexist and racist bigot and the wallpaper know what a bunch of miserable buggers are out there.

      1. Robin

        Maybe all the Windows 10 data harvesting was worth it. The bot learned how to be a sexist and racist bigot and the wallpaper know what a bunch of miserable buggers are out there.

        I heard that once it had read all of the forums it killed its own process.

      2. Triggerfish

        Wow the happy party people are in force today.

        I know right I woke up this morning with the thought it was Friday, some people must be working this wekend. :D

    2. Olius

      Me, I have wallpaper, and I'm a LONG way from 10.

      Most of it is courtesy of Digital Blasphemy. But I wouldn't go googling for his work if I were you - you wouldn't want to end up acting like a 10 year old, would you ;-)

    3. Zippy's Sausage Factory
      Windows

      Bring back River Sumida, that's what I say...

    4. phuzz Silver badge

      For some reason on the lock screen where these little messages appear, I get a black background. Once I press a key and get the login screen, I then see the pretty background, but no messages.

      I have to say, some of the pictures they've used have been very nice.

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Trollface

        "I have to say, some of the pictures they've used have been very nice."

        I'd prefer porn. Or anime screenshots with moe girls in it [just to tweek the moralists]. But last I checked you couldn't assign your own graphics [or get rid of the damn ads]

        1. James O'Shea

          "But last I checked you couldn't assign your own graphics"

          You didn't look very hard. There are multiple methods for changing that pic. See, just for example, http://www.howtogeek.com/223875/how-to-change-the-login-screen-background-on-windows-10/ or http://www.addictivetips.com/windows-tips/change-the-login-screen-background-in-windows-10/

          Personally, I made the change by hand, no problems noted. It was actually easier to do than to do the equivalent to a Mac, where once merely dropping a pic named 'StartupScreen' into the System Folder would have done the trick.

  7. Bob Hoskins

    If you're running Windows 10...

    ....you're probably already suicidal.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: If you're running Windows 10...

      I certainly was after trying to get a mouse to work for 2 f'ing hours in Mint once. A Mouse FFS.

      1. Bob Hoskins

        Re: If you're running Windows 10...

        What were doing running mint?! That said, the trackpad in W10 turns itself off at random.

        1. Kiwi
          Linux

          Re: If you're running Windows 10...

          That said, the trackpad in W10 turns itself off at random.

          I've seen that before with some models of laptop, a corner of the trackpad or some spot near the trackpad that with a touch turns the pad on or off. There for those who often drag parts of their hand over it while typing and accidentally move the cursor. But more commonly, the rest of us accidentally turn the thing off!

          Hate to potentially take the blame away from W10, but could this be what is going on?

        2. Singleflow

          Re: If you're running Windows 10...

          @Bob Hopkins It's probably your trackpad or a non-compatible/outdated driver. It's not a Windows 10 issue, or else everyone in the world would be complaining. Following proper troubleshooting techniques should yield a positive result.

      2. Chairo
        Joke

        Re: If you're running Windows 10...

        @Lost all faith

        didn't you know that Mint is a natural mouse repellent?

      3. Esme

        Re: If you're running Windows 10...

        @Lost all faith - I've never had the slightest problem with mice and Linux, not even back when I first started using it (Mandrake Linux back then, pre-Ubuntu existing, cant recall which year that was). Never heard of anyone else having problems with mice, either, although I suppose it's possible one of those swish high-end gaming mice with umpty-leven buttions might be problematic (but as I only knwo one person with one of those and he uses it for Windows games... (shrugs)). What on earth were you using that caused problems?

        1. Patrician

          Re: If you're running Windows 10...

          ",,,I suppose it's possible one of those swish high-end gaming mice with umpty-leven buttions might be problematic..."

          Why would the above be a problem in an operating system that is a "viable alternative to Windows"? Surely an operating system that is a "viable alternative to Windows" shouldn't have an issue installing/using a mouse, no matter how many buttons? If it does then it's obviously not a "viable alternative to Windows is it"?

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: If you're running Windows 10...

            Why would the above be a problem in an operating system that is a "viable alternative to Windows"?

            Because there's always some smartarse H/W maker that decides to do things their own way, needs a special driver and only provides a Windows version.

          2. Kiwi
            Linux

            Re: If you're running Windows 10...

            Surely an operating system that is a "viable alternative to Windows" shouldn't have an issue installing/using a mouse,

            Yes, well, given how long it takes windows to pick up that you've only moved the mouse to a different port, anything that finds the mouse inside a week is an improvement over that!

            I'm also one who has never had a problem with mice/trackballs etc in Linux. And I have a gaming mouse with at least half a dozen buttons I've never tried to use. Never had to hunt for drivers to get basic functionality either. Have seen Windows claim it cannot find drivers for said mouse and cannot even identify it, even though the mouse basically works (moves cursor and l/r buttons function)

          3. Esme

            Re: If you're running Windows 10...

            @Patrician - you, and it would seem, some others, appear to have mssed the point (and possibly mislaid a sense of proportion momentarily).

            Not having the mouse working for a GUI-controlled system is, I'd argue, a fairly major problem, and it'd certainly annoy the heck out of me if an OS (any OS) failed to register the presence of a mouse that is in working order and plugged in when the system starts up. So I can totally understand the frustration of someone who's experienced that. What I can't understand is how on earth they came to experience that situation, particularly with Mint; the only scenario I can think of where it might happen (assuming the kit is in good working order) is if the kit is somewhat exotic.

            Now, given that it tends to be kit manufacturers being slow in supporting Linux (hence a delay of some months before Penguinista programmers manage to sort out something that'll make 'em work), that's hardly the fault of Linux, and indeed, a lot of kit comes with warnings that it's designed only forone OS or another. Despite which, a lot of kit supposedly only intended for use with Windows DOES work with Linux, due to the efforts of large numbers of Penguinista programmers.

            I repeat though - if we're talking standard 2 button + trackwheel USB mouses, I've never even heard of anyone having a problem with one with Linux, let alone experienced such a problem, hence my curiosity (and willingness to see if I can help) as to how come someone evidently DID have a problem. (I never experienced problems with pre-USB mice either, incidentally).

            And as for an OS replacement - NO OS can be an exact replacement for another in terms of functionality, device support etc for a range of reasons that I'm sure you're perfectly aware of, so it's always going to come down to what you're using the OS for. For a lot of people, Linux can give a perfectly good user experience for their daily needs, and is liable to cause them a lot less grief than Windows. For a lot of office workers, the OS is becoming less of an issue with everything heading towards the cloud and web-based interfaces. However, if folk want to play the latest FPS games and suchlike, then it's still the case that Windows is what they need to be looking at.

            I started using Linux way back not due to ideology but simply because Windows was giving me such a shit experience compared to what I'd been used to (Amigas). For a while, the Linux experience was worse, but - IMHO - Linux overtook Windows in usability and lack of frustration caused years ago. YMMV. For me these days Windows doesnt even come close to Linux in terms of usability and lack of grief caused in use (I have to use Windows at work, but use Linux at home), it's much, much worse. But that's just me. Maybe you've had different experiences.

            Bottom line - if (A certain OS) works for you, use it - and if (Another OS) doesn't, don't use that. No need to be precious about yours or anybody else's choice in OS.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: If you're running Windows 10...

              For everyone out there.

              Yes it was a highly complex 2 button mouse, with wait for it, a scroll wheel. I know crazy.

              To cut a very long story, I had to delete a line in a config file to get rid of some thing or other. It was using some enhance driver and I had to default it. Over a year ago, moved on since then.

              The point is, I've had as many issues with Linux, as I have had with Windows. Many people here have very blinkered views. They complain a "MS" update kills their machine, but will then spend hours trying to get a video card working in Linux.

              When you have probably a billion or more combinations of hardware out they, thing will ALWAYS go wrong somewhere.

              1. bombastic bob Silver badge
                Devil

                Re: If you're running Windows 10...

                "Yes it was a highly complex 2 button mouse, with wait for it, a scroll wheel. I know crazy."

                I use one of those with FreeBSD, Linux, windows... it's an ancient "Microsoft Mouse" with a USB-to-PS2 adaptor, going into a KVM. NEVER had any problems with USB mice either, in Linux or FreeBSD. I got it over a decade ago, once the price of optical mice dropped sufficiently enough. Before that I'd gone through more than enough serial and PS2 mice that had mini-track-balls in them.

                Mouse handling is usually through Xorg drivers anyway, which are commonly used across all of the POSIX systems. I've never seen an issue with these. USB mice are exceptionally well supported. I can even plug in a Wacom pad [which has mouse, pen, etc.] and all of the normal mouse functions are all there. Of course, it needs some kind of driver for the REST of the features [extra buttons] but the fact that it "works" without the OS griping at me is a plus.

              2. Trilkhai

                Re: If you're running Windows 10...

                @Lost all faith: What's the mouse's native interface, out of curiosity? (Don't get me wrong: after frustrating Ubuntu bugs almost made me give up on Linux as a newbie several years ago and seeing my laptops exhibit bizarre behavior whenever faced with a systemd-based distro, very little surprises me.)

              3. Unicornpiss
                Facepalm

                Well, Linux isn't for everyone

                I've been running Linux for years. I wouldn't consider myself a guru, but I can Google and follow instructions to fix problems. And the community is somewhat better than most of the Windows help forums. "Have you checked for a virus?" Every time I plug a mouse, flash drive, or other basic hardware into Mint, it works nearly immediately with no fuss. That said, I've had to edit config files to get hardware to work right on Linux, and poke around with the registry in Windows for similar situations.

                The Windows update process is a fascinating Rube Goldberg machine that needs some kind of overhaul too. Windows updates itself like an arthritic grandmother trying to get into a kayak, and often with the same level of success.

                -Linux update: Enter your admin pw to continue, updates are downloaded and installed, giving you verbose information on what it's actually doing if you want it. No reboot except for kernel updates. Unless you've been neglecting updates or have a hideously slow machine, you're typically done in 1-5 minutes.

                -Windows updates: "Preparing to update Windows..." (cogwheel or chasing animation) 10-60 minutes later: (what is it doing? Is it hung? Should I kill it?) "Applying updates..." (animation and no HD or only sporadic HD activity while the 'progress' indicator is at either 30% or 100% for a long time) <reboot> "Shutting down" (for a very, very long time) <splash screen> "Configuring Windows" or "Adding Features" (for a very long time) Reboot again?... (success?/something went wrong :/ reverting changes?)

                And the real kick in the teeth is Windows will somehow choose to update right when you're shutting down your PC to go home or trying to meet some deadline or deal with some crisis. It's uncanny. It's especially nice in Win 10 the way you have no other choice but "Update and shut down." Surprise :)

        2. Updraft102

          Re: If you're running Windows 10...

          I have a mouse like that, and it has worked perfectly with Mint from the start in every version I've tried (13 to 18.1). Just remember, though, that the plural of anecdote is not 'data'.

      4. billium
        Happy

        Re: If you're running Windows 10...

        @ Lost

        You do not need to place and move the mouse on the screen, you can move it around you desk and the little arrow type thingy on the screen, called a cursor, will move.

      5. hplasm
        Devil

        Re: If you're running Windows 10...

        Lost all faith: <to Mouse> "Hello Computer..."

        1. Bob Hoskins

          Re: If you're running Windows 10...

          Upvote - you've earned it.

      6. cambsukguy

        Re: If you're running Windows 10...

        @lost_all_faith, You must be new here or like down-votes, dissing a Linux distro, especially the minty one crazy I tell you, crazy.

        Makes me wonder if a future Android version (as I am sure there will be) will also be called Mint; a bit short but it is a sweetie.

        1. Teiwaz

          Re: If you're running Windows 10...

          @lost_all_faith, You must be new here

          @cambsukguy - Didn't notice the Silver Badge lost_all_faith sports then?

          - Guy just has a funny taste after his mint mouse meal...bound to make anyone loose all faith. Can't find anyone to give you a spanking? Diss Mint 'Linux on a tech forum and it's sorted. Better than a 'Love Bat'*

      7. Unicornpiss
        Meh

        Re: If you're running Windows 10...

        Haven't had that experience with Mint. Yesterday however I watched a Windows installation take 5 minutes to "install" a mouse driver for a simple 3-button USB mouse, then ask me to reboot to complete the installation.

        1. Kiwi
          Linux

          Re: If you're running Windows 10...

          Haven't had that experience with Mint. Yesterday however I watched a Windows installation take 5 minutes to "install" a mouse driver for a simple 3-button USB mouse, then ask me to reboot to complete the installation.

          But.. but.. But drivers are so much better in Windows! And it's more productive! And so much better! And.. and.. and it's windows and made by professionals not by freetards! And it's just better coz it has to reboot to install a basic mouse! And the virus in the driver.PDF.exe from the fake site Bing sent you to when trying to find a driver means Windows is more secure! And and and..

          [Did I miss any of their core arguments?]

        2. Soruk

          Re: If you're running Windows 10...

          And you'll have to go through the installation process again, if you plug it in to a different USB port.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Methinks MSFT (and some here) are taking this too seriously.

    It's a beautiful photo. It's an inspiring quote.

    It's just the (unintentional, I'm sure) combination of the two that is rather... unfortunate. And funny (well, I think so, especially if you consider Microsoft's initial "what angle" response could be read two different ways... either they have more of a sense of humor than given credit for, or they just don't think that way). "Insensitive" isn't the word I'd use, but then I'm not one of those people constantly on the alert for opportunities to go OMG THIS IS SO OFFENSIVE I AM OFFENDED AND WILL TELL EVERYONE HOW OFFENSIVE IT IS SO THEY KNOW I AM A RIGHT-THINKING PERSON WHO IS OFFENDED.

    It's Friday. Laugh, go to the pub, have a good weekend.

    1. Michael Habel Silver badge

      Re: Methinks MSFT (and some here) are taking this too seriously.

      There is a flaw in your logic... Right minded People wouldn't think like that. Being reasonably adult minded persons.

      The Progressive Left?! Not so much. Look how they rage over common sense things like Brexit, and Trump's Presidency. Nothing but Outrage, and Butthurt, from Sea to shining Sea.

      1. find users who cut cat tail

        Re: Methinks MSFT (and some here) are taking this too seriously.

        From the ‘Progressive Left’ part (with Excessive Capitalisation) I'd say you got the right-minded and politically-right minded mixed up. The latter can be offended as easily.

      2. Mystic Megabyte
        Joke

        Re: Methinks MSFT (and some here) are taking this too seriously.

        In the style of Leisure Suit Larry I'm building a game called "Rumpy Pumpy Trumpy". In it you travel the world banging hookers while playing a trumpet. Bonus points if you know any Russian Jazz classics like this one, the trumpet starts after 30 secs. (SFW)

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71L6dojzqAk

      3. Triggerfish

        Re: Methinks MSFT (and some here) are taking this too seriously.

        I often find the people who feel the need to make labels like the progressive left, and liberals, sheeple etc, are usually the ones others would label the rabid right, nazis, alt right etc ....funny really.

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Methinks MSFT (and some here) are taking this too seriously.

      "It's an inspiring quote."

      It's the sort of quote that lots of employers put on posters around the building thinking it'll inspire their employees. The employees simply regard them as insults to their intelligence.

      1. AndrueC Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Methinks MSFT (and some here) are taking this too seriously.

        Friday obligatory Dilbert cartoon.

      2. Mr Commenty McComentface

        Re: Methinks MSFT (and some here) are taking this too seriously.

        Agreed, which is why I have some posters from Despair.com. These at least get a giggle out of proper people.

        "Priorities" is definitely may favourite!

      3. Vic

        Re: Methinks MSFT (and some here) are taking this too seriously.

        It's the sort of quote that lots of employers put on posters around the building thinking it'll inspire their employees.

        They should use this one.

        Vic.

    3. Kiwi
      Linux

      Re: Methinks MSFT (and some here) are taking this too seriously.

      It's just the (unintentional, I'm sure) combination of the two that is rather... unfortunate.

      Quite. I have Variety installed on most of my machines (changes backgrounds/wallpapers plus chucks a random quote on it). Sometimes the combinations of picture (selected only from my photo collection, but you can use all sorts of online sources for them) and quote can be quite interesting, eg one with an old co-worker in the picture and a quote from some of Dubya's finer moments - quite fitting given the person pictured. Sometimes they can be painful, eg one along the lines of "I will always love you" and the picture of a recently lost very close friend.

      But it's purely random. At least, I hope it is :)

      It's Friday. Laugh, go to the pub, have a good weekend.

      Friday the 13th even.. Now.. Does that put this incident in another light? ;) (at least for the superstitious conspiracy theorists)

    4. fatalXception

      Re: Methinks MSFT (and some here) are taking this too seriously.

      I personally don't have a problem with it, being a native of North Clare I'm biased towards pictures of my cliffs.

      BUT one thing I will say. Every year people do actually commit suicide by jumping off these cliffs. We have had 2 or 3 every year for as long as I can remember. (I know someone whose sister used the cliffs to exit this mortal coil. He's quite a happy fellow but I can imagine that seeing something like this might bring back painful memories.)

      So I could appreciate that it might not just be that the person looking at it might possibly be feeling suicidal, it's that this is a poor tag in general, to put on a place where people are known to have killed themselves.

      That's all.

    5. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Methinks MSFT (and some here) are taking this too seriously.

      "It's a beautiful photo. It's an inspiring quote."

      a normal person might think so. I prefer 'nauseatingly sappy quote' but that's just me.

      Besides, the problem here is that Micro-shaft LIVES by the 'political correctness', so they shall also DIE by the 'political correctness'.

      I take the opposite tack: I *LAMPOON* political correctness, and those who are so sensitive (i.e. 'snowflakes') that all of this crap OFFENDS them. Personally, if they HAD intended suicide as the message, I'd have laughed my ass off and offered them a BEER.

      "Nice de-motivational"

  9. hi_robb

    Lovely pic

    It was taken by Eileen Dover

    /gets coat

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lovely pic

      And the quote was short, because it was just the Cliff's Notes version.

      /also gets coat, heads to pub

      1. Crazy Operations Guy
        Joke

        Re: Lovely pic

        Now, now, no need to go over the edge here...

    2. Unicornpiss
      Coat

      Re: Lovely pic

      Eileen Dover? Is that Ben's sister?

  10. Mage Silver badge
    Coat

    Removed the image

    Eh?

    It's the text that's stupid. Not the image.

    It's true that part of Co. Clare overlooks Galway bay (Ballyvaughan), but the Cliffs shown are on the Atlantic coast.

    Mines the one with real maps in the pocket.

    1. Teiwaz

      Re: Removed the image

      It's the text that's stupid. Not the image.

      Neither are stupid in themselves, the combination was just unfortunate (from a mindlessly sanitised perspective) - and that's the issue.

      Excellent from the 'De-motivational Poster' perspective - I'd like to see more of such - Positive affirmations and motivational posters make me want to jump off a cliff into the Atlantic (or Galway Bay).

      'It's like those miserable psalms, they're so derpressing, Knock it off' - God, Monty Pythons Holy Grail.

  11. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

    Cliffs of Moher

    ...made famous as the 'Cliffs of Insanity' in The Princess Bride...

    I'm sure there's plenty of lost opportunity for some better quotes there.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Cliffs of Moher

      I did not know that. I always just thought the "cliffs" in TPB were a sound-stage fibreglass mockup.

      Truly, one lives and learns.

  12. Tw0lfIRL

    Ouch - I'm not offended. But as I grew up next door to said Cliffs (and my kid brother works there).. Its a bit disrespectful at least (by accident I'm sure).

    Three or so people a week take that first step, and they leave behind family and friends who do fret.

    And yes - the Cliffs do face out on to the Atlantic. Black Head (further north along the coast) is the point I'd regard Galway Bay as starting/finishing.

  13. Jedit
    Joke

    "Microsoft smuggles suicide encouragement manual into operating system"

    "Smuggle"? Software companies should be required to supply user guides with their products.

    1. Kiwi
      Linux

      Re: "Microsoft smuggles suicide encouragement manual into operating system"

      Well, I guess if MS were to start advising people on how to commit suicide, we'd see a significant drop is the success rate!

      (And before anyone moans, I have found myself on the edge wondering if I should step forward or back)

  14. ksb1972

    Am I the only one

    Who finds the often eye catching imagery on the Windows 10 lock screen ruined by the typically inane stupid a*se comment MS insist on overlaying on it?

    Is there any way to turn off the captions?

    What would be better is if one could click to find out more about the place featured in the image.

    1. Victor Ludorum

      Re: Am I the only one

      I haven't looked into turning the captions off, but you can find out more about the image - the location normally pops up in the 'do you like this?' caption in the top right corner. If you click on the location it will then open a Bing search in Edge when you log in.

      1. 's water music
        Trollface

        Re: Am I the only one

        If you click on the location it will then open a Bing search in Edge when you log in

        Umm, the PP said they wanted to find out more

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Am I the only one

        "If you click on the location it will then open a Bing search in Edge when you log in."

        Very useful for someone trying to find out where to jump from.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: Am I the only one

      Yes it's called an alternative OS...

    3. Teiwaz

      Re: Am I the only one

      What would be better is if one could click to find out more about the place featured in the image.

      Sound idea - Problem is, it'll end up being an advert sponsored by the Irish Tourist Board, with a link to booking a Holiday in Ireland before it gets to initial rollout - the 'ads' for s/w on the startmenu for is stupid enough.

    4. Triggerfish

      Re: Am I the only one

      I haven't noticed any captions some of the pictures are very good though.

  15. Alister

    What can we say? It's The Reg wot won it.

    Well I hope you're feeling suitably smug, but frankly it seems a rather hollow victory to me, pandering to those who go out of their way to find things offensive or "inappropriate".

    Personally I thought the combination of picture and text was funny, and completely inoffensive.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What can we say? It's The Reg wot won it.

      Story submitter here. You're right, and perhaps that didn't come through clearly enough - I certainly didn't take any offence! I just thought it was a juxtaposition that was unintentionally humorous and wanted to share it, partly I guess to see if there's any other weirdos out there who think like me but mostly as a throwaway "ha ha" to brighten up people's Friday.

      I didn't for an instant want the image or text withdrawn, but I guess that's the defensive default these days.. everyone's so terrified of the Internet Hate Machine, maybe, that mild teasing from the likes of the Reg causes the same response?

      1. Alister

        Re: What can we say? It's The Reg wot won it.

        Thanks for responding. I did wonder whether your original intention was just to go "look at this: funny" and I'm not sure I understand the motivation for El Reg to contact Microsoft about it.

        In these litigation-fearing days, I guess it's no surprise that Microsoft would remove the image once brought to its attention, but it's a very sad reflection on society nowadays.

        Cheers for replying.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Windows

    Desperately weak El Reg

    'Bashing' MSFT with an overripe banana! Epic fail.

  17. Unicornpiss
    Meh

    New and improved Clippy

    I like the photo and the suggestion a lot more than when Office 365 prompts me to "Make this a video chat!" or "Add a photo for that personal touch!" If I wanted it more personal I'd drive to Redmond, find the dev or marketing droid that thought adding pointless saccharine messages to productivity apps was a brilliant move and kick them in the shins.

    At least Linux apps don't typically nag and prattle idiocy. They just do their little jobs and shut up.

  18. Putters

    Quote

    Thought I'd heard that quote before - quite a long time ago. In a cartoon. Nearly right - "Watch that first step, its a lulu." - Jack Wabbit and the Beanstalk - 1943 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BVwtPxOrNE

  19. OchaiThenoo

    Nothing will beat fortune for inspiration and no graphics required

  20. viscount

    Is that cliff really small or just far away?

    1. Alien8n

      Well it's about 686km from my current location, so I'd suggest the latter

  21. Kiwi
    Thumb Up

    HTTPS El Reg, Sweet!

    Have only noticed it since I've been posting on this thread, though in the last few days I have had some moments where Cloudflare has chewed through an extra ton of my normally limited bandwidth while visiting El Reg.

    Congrats guys! (Though going through Cloudflare may not be the best decision!)

  22. Alistair
    Windows

    Inspiration(al) lock screen messages

    Sadly, I rather get both sides of the situation here.

    Life in general can be quite challenging. Sometimes we choose to take on something that truly terrifies us, and 'terrify' is relative, so for some folks that could be getting out the door to go see a friend. In some cases that working up the courage for that 'first step' to a challenge is the hardest part of success.

    Sadly juxtaposed on cliffs like that, while the sentiment can stand, the fact is that mental health is a substantial issue, and folks who feel cornered in their lives could well see that as encouraging them to finally take their exit. (Umm .. a Black Mirror episode comes to mind).

    Personally I'm not wont to make light of either end of the message portrayed in the screen, but rather to keep an open mind about both. As for MS pulling the combination, I don't particularly blame them. Hopefully they find something a bit more apropos in the way of a quote for that image. It is a pretty image.

    (and thanks for the bit about TPB)

  23. hi_robb

    Eileen Dover....

    I mentioned Eileen Dover earlier, but I'd also forgotten about her fella, Arthur Cliff...

  24. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

    Thanks Reg

    This is why we can't have nice things!

  25. Anonymous IV

    Inspirational messages should take account of region

    If we've gone to all the trouble of specifying United Kingdom for our Windows 10 "Home location", we should not be exposed to North American informal words of unknown origin.

    We have adequate quantities of our own Noble British Slang terminology...

    1. ThomH Silver badge

      Re: Inspirational messages should take account of region

      "Bloody Nora that first step is a tad knackering, but don't be a numpty..."?

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Typical MS

    Now every time I read / or try to choose a Microsoft "Licensing" program, I'm going to see this cliff...

    But don't worry about me. I'll be fantasizing about giving whoever wrote that crap a little nudge.

    1. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Typical MS

      "I'll be fantasizing about giving whoever wrote that crap a little nudge."

      Or quietly sneak up behind and say "BOO!"

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Give all this new Telemetry in Windows 10 coming in Creators Edition...

    If I ponder on this Start Screen long enough, at least Windows Hello will be able see this from the Microsoft Telemetry, then compare my miserable face, to all the Smiley Happy Faces logging into Windows, and alert the Authorities.

    Er...hold on...wait...that might not work.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ridiculous

    This article is so ridiculously stupid. The author over-analyzes a picture. Then they write a needlessly wordy article to fill space on the page, while implying there's some insensitive message hidden in there. Microsoft should not have pulled it. They should not have dignified any related inquiries with a response. If you haven't read it yet, save yourself the trouble. The author was triggered, so they wrote something meaningless about it. There, I just saved you two terrible, boobless minutes.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Ridiculous

      Sense of humour failure there, Anonymous Coward, posting for the first time.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nothing time -wasting story turns into Microsoft flame thread.

    It can only be 'El Reg

    And so obviously going to happen that one could possibly say, planned?

    :)

  30. Sleep deprived
    Facepalm

    "Windows Hotspots is one of our customers' favorite features of Windows 10"

    Silly me who thought an OS was about managing memory, CPU, resources, files and programs. Customers get it to receive inspirational thoughts, horoscope, crazy paperclip popups and to connect to FB...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Windows Hotspots is one of our customers' favorite features of Windows 10"

      The Unix MOTD we had back in the 80s was far better than any sh*t MS has delivered so far to the screen. But those messsages generally hadn't been thought up by a marketing suit.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: "Windows Hotspots is one of our customers' favorite features of Windows 10"

        MOTD? /etc/motd still exists, and still works. Takes less disk space than email to all users ... but I think the program you were actually thinking about is fortune, which also still exists & still works.

        (The fortune program is still supported, in part, by user contributions ... and by a major grant from the National Endowment for the Inanities.)

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    NO

    I disabled this nonsense a year ago. Don't want or need Microsoft showing me anything on my lock screen.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't Delete the Image!

    Show beautiful Ireland and the Grand Canyon, etc. Just write, "Be Careful!"

  33. harmjschoonhoven

    Re: PIC

    As Benito Mussolini once said: "Today we stand at the edge of a cliff, but tomorrow we will make a great stride forwards."

  34. MR J

    To be honest the updraft there is so strong that it could be hard to step over the edge. The tower at the top has a large stone area in the front, and my kids got thrown about 20ft by a large gust of wind.

    If people read that as a sign to jump then they probably see sign's everywhere to do dumb stuff to end it.

    "The red light is out on that traffic light, they want me to keep going, I should just keep going."

    "That bird just flew past me, he wants to eat my eyes when I am dead, He thinks I am about to Kill myself, The bird told me."

    "I am unhappy with my life, I am going to end it by voting for Donald Trump or Brexit, oh crap, My vote won, People want to kill me now, HELP I DONT WANT TO DIE"

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Unrelated, but related:

    Why TF does a lock sreen have idiotic click baits?

    Either write the whole blody text, or write nothing. I would NEVER click on something as idiotic as Windows clickbaits on the lockscreen.

    I even started pressing the spacebar just so I don't accidentally click on this crap.

    Can one get rid of this sh*t, or must Win 10 be deleted in order to do so? (Not a bad solution, perhaps.)

  36. herman Silver badge

    What is the mouse thing - is it a new monster in Nethack? On which level?

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That first step is a doozy, but don't fret

    If you see that message, the first thing you should do is drive straight to the Cliffs of Moher.

    Do what it says and liberate your Windows 10 pc at the clifftop. Also, don't forget to tell us how it feels to have your first step without Windows 10.

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