back to article For God's sake, stop trying to make Microsoft Bob a thing. It's over

Microsoft has entered the virtual reality race, announcing a new headset called Evo in collaboration with Intel. The headset will have the same advanced features of current high-end products including the Oculus Rift, HTC Vive and soon-to-be-launched Sulon Q, but will work with mid-range laptops, the company said. Up to now, …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yeah, okay, but...

    does it play Grand Theft Auto V? If not, Trevor Philips and I have a date with it. And it ain't ending with kisses at the fucking door.

    1. Roland6 Silver badge

      Re: Yeah, okay, but...

      I presume you're not very good at GTV? as with a full Win10 PC in the headset and wireless connectivity, I doubt the batteries will last very long...

  2. Herby

    But...

    I'm farsighted, and will probably have problems with focus at such a close range. Have these VR headset people even thought about that?

    Yes, it does get a little bit blurry at close range unless there is a LOT of light to constrict my pupils increasing my focus range.

    Sadly most of these things are used by youth that haven't been subjected to presbyopia which comes as you enter later decades in life (*SIGH*).

    Me? I just go to Costco and pick up +2.75's in the three packs and scatter them all over the place (soon to be +3.25's I suspect).

    1. a_yank_lurker

      Re: But...

      I would toss people who suffer from epilepsy and migraines as people would likely have serious problems with VR technology. There are several other neurological disorders that VR will probably impact badly.

    2. MacroRodent

      Re: But...

      I'm farsighted, and will probably have problems with focus at such a close range.

      One would expect it to have adjustable oculars, the same way as binoculars have had since forever. Would be silly to make an expensive device without such a basic feature. But then, it is Microsoft. (I find myself far-sighted or near-sighted, depending on how well I slept... The joys of being over 50...)

      1. Peter2 Silver badge

        Re: But...

        Of course, rapidly changing your view between something projected on the glass and at things many meters away all day is somehow not going to cause eyestrain despite people reviewing the demo versions commenting on discomfort or headaches. As anybody who has read the mandatory HSE posters stuck up in UK workplaces knows, this is a symptom of the eyestrain incurred through using Visual Display Units.

        Like 3D monitors I think this is a pretty basic issue with the technology that's probably not actually resolvable.

        It will be interesting seeing how companies using these in the UK manage to get on with the VDU regulations already in force. "Not well" is going to be my guess, but the good news is that employment protection for the workers is already in place.

      2. no-one in particular

        Re: But...

        > One would expect it to have adjustable oculars, the same way as binoculars have had since forever. > [who] Would be silly to make an expensive device without such a basic feature

        How about the Vufine+? Their second model, a monocular display ("augmented reality") supposedly even usable when flying a drone but with a fixed focal distance of 12 inches, no adjustment at all.

    3. no-one in particular

      Re: But...

      > I'm farsighted, and will probably have problems with focus at such a close range. Have these VR headset people even thought about that?

      Decent headset displays since the 1990s (at least the ones I saw, and most of those I just read about) were focussed at infinity.

      I didn't spot anything in the article about the focal distance for this headset (and can't view the videos 'til I get home).

  3. Chris G

    "Exciting new experiences"

    And, they are?

    VR conferencing and what else.

    I suppose it could be used for site visits without having to go to the site but that would take an horrendous amount of mapping.

    Maybe I just don't have any imagination, I'm still holding out for the full sensory Holosuite.

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: "Exciting new experiences"

      "The new things aren't exciting, and the exciting things aren't new" or something....

      As to Bob - please, not again.

    2. a_yank_lurker

      Re: "Exciting new experiences"

      @Chris G. - MHO is VR is a niche market. There are some areas where it will be very useful but for most a meh. But the problem Slurp, Chipzilla, et. al. face is find the next must have device that will goose sales. The cloud does not really goose sales, if anything it extends the useful life of hardware. VR, if it is truly useful (very doubtful) will require most to buy new kit otherwise the kit will only be replaced when it dies.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Exciting new experiences"

        VR is a niche market, as plebs in the media only mention the niche VR products.

        Brt you didnt know PlayStation VR (which didn't get a mention here) has more marketshare that all the other proper VR offerings combined (FacebookVR, HTC VR)

        http://www.mcvuk.com/news/read/playstation-vr-set-to-eclipse-rift-and-vive-sales-in-the-uk/0175824

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Chris G. - Re: "Exciting new experiences"

      Why, porn of course! Imagine you can watch porn in public without being bothered. Now that's what I call exciting experience!

      1. Suricou Raven

        Re: @Chris G. - "Exciting new experiences"

        It's not the sort of thing I download, but there's a lot of first-person immersive pornography on certain torrent sites I visit, designed to be watched using VR headsets. It's not true VR, of course, just prerecorded hemispheric stereo video.

      2. tony2heads
        Coat

        Re: @Chris G. - "Exciting new experiences"

        The excited part could cause great embarrassment depending on where you are.

        Coat ; its the dirty raincoat

    4. Stoneshop

      Re: "Exciting new experiences"

      I suppose it could be used for site visits without having to go to the site but that would take an horrendous amount of mapping.

      For site visits you want some sort of telepresence as you usually want to see the situation as it is at this moment, not at however many months in the past the mapping was done.

  4. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Flame

    Wait what?

    "it has a full Windows 10 computer built into the headset"

    What is a Windows 10 computer and why does the baroque bullshit need to be found in a headset? Do they want to recreate the effects of Halloween III: Season of the Witch? Hmmm... now that I think about it, the Microsoft logo looks a bit like a Silver Shamrock. Coincidence? Maybe not!

    Microsoft Bob. Which it tried to make a success in 2015.

    More like 1995, am I right? (Hmmm... yeah "an operating system designed around Clippy". Even I do not wish that on Microsoft costumers, but que sera sera)

    1. Mark 85

      Re: Wait what?

      What is a Windows 10 computer and why does the baroque bullshit need to be found in a headset?

      Two possibilities...

      1) Having another Win 10 install helps MS's numbers.

      2) Twice the phoning home and snooping and probably advertising in the middle of your session.

      1. VinceH

        Re: Wait what?

        "2) Twice the phoning home and snooping and probably advertising in the middle of your session."

        ^This.

        With the "inside out spacial awareness" allowing you to walk around while wearing these things, they'll be able to gather 'telemetry' on more than just what you're doing when sat at your computer.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Wait what?

          they'll be able to gather 'telemetry' on more than just what you're doing when sat at your computer.

          .. which brings us in a roundabout way to the *other* reason smartwatches have not been all that popular :)

      2. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Unhappy

        Re: Wait what?

        "advertising in the middle of your session."

        Shhhhhhhhhhhhh... we don't need a real-life episode like THIS:

        http://aqua-teen-hunger-force.wikia.com/wiki/Www.yzzerdd.com

        1. VinceH

          Re: Wait what?

          http://aqua-teen-hunger-force.wikia.com/wiki/Www.yzzerdd.com

          Ah, so that's where Microsoft got their inspiration for the Windows 10 installer!

          Presumably, the rest of what's described will come later for those who made the mistake of accepting (or being unable to prevent) it.

    2. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: Destroy All Monsters

      Ah yeah, fuck, meant 1995, forgot to do the -20. Fixed. Don't forget to email corrections@theregister.co.uk if you spot an error.

      C.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Destroy All Monsters

        Don't forget to email corrections@theregister.co.uk if you spot an error.

        Doing it here is more fun, though :)

        1. Dan 55 Silver badge

          Re: Destroy All Monsters

          No access to private e-mail from work. It needs to be a web form, preferably with HTTPS, because, you know, everyone has to start somewhere.

          Make it so.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Destroy All Monsters

            @Dan 55

            This

            is

            Needed

            1. Dave 126 Silver badge

              Re: Destroy All Monsters

              Yep, there is no technical reason (just developer time) why we can't use Post Comment to send a correction to the Reg Editorial team. There is obviously a mechanism for 'deleting' posts by a Reg moderator - could this system be automated so that any comment with REGCORRECTION in the title is 'moderated' instantly and thus isn't displayed in the thread, but is forwarded to the article author?

              Help us to help you!

  5. Youngone Silver badge

    Vapourware?

    It sounds to me like Microsoft are announcing a better product at a cheaper price to keep the competition out of the market.

    They have a product name, and some aspirational specs, but no actual product.

    They also have form for that sort of thing.

    However I can't see anybody wearing two full Windows 10 PC's on their head just to play VR games.

    (Is that what they're for, cause if it's not games I'm yet to see a compelling reason to buy VR).

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So, another Zune then?

    I'll wait for a bit.

    Microsoft is not entirely clueless in this sphere (Kinect isn't bad) but it's never been more than a me-too company, and this needs innovation to succeed. It's now too closely watched to pull another Netscape, and there is already well funded competition in the market so time will tell if it gets somewhere other than an electronics scrapheap. They may also be told by Trump to build it in the US (you know, as one billionaire to another) which may price it out of reach for a volume market.

    Time will tell.

    1. cambsukguy

      Re: So, another Zune then?

      Kinect, HoloLens and Continuum don't look 'me-too' to me.

      Also, Win10 itself, do macs and iPhones use the same OS? Do Chromebooks and Android phones use the same OS?

      It doesn't matter if you prefer iOS (or Android) to WinPhone (which always amazes me because I use an iOS and an Android phone for a work project and neither impresses), the point is that Win10 is not 'me-too'.

      And the Surface range of hybrids seem to be copied by others rather than the other way around.

      Still waiting to see an Apple copy of the Surface, but not holding my breath (or my fingers at the ready). And, btw, an iPad Pro *isn't* worthy of comparison.

  7. Known Hero

    Not sure why everybody seems to be on the bash wagon for this product.

    They are looking at making a VR headset whilst addressing all the current issues.

    Personally I have always shunned the idea of VR as I would be forever knocking my beer over onto my keyboard / desk/ computer. Having augmented VR sounds bloody perfect (the Vive almost did it for me). I also have to wonder about the latency though, that's going to be weird to get past if at all possible.

    I love the fact it can be used wireless, yes i know Vive are almost there with that too :)

    *disclaimer, I am an avid fan of ALL VR but suffer from motion sickness and lack of funds to even bother trying it :D

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      At the moment it looks like the poor woman has been sucked through her laptop screen into MS' version of The Upside Down. It's empty and desolate except a floating white window (program has stopped responding, do you wish to restart or wait some more?), a possible way back through the mirror-world laptop, a Skype, a recycle bin with a plant stuck in it, and a Bob.

      She'd better get out of there before the Bob realises she's there, hunts her down, and eats her up.

      Nobody's going to pay money for this, it's not going to gain any traction. It's as absurd as MS getting into the videocard business. MS would be better off leaving the VR hardware alone and making just the software platform.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If at first you don't succeed, fail and fail again.

  9. Halfmad

    VR? I'd rather have AR

    I like VR, have used most of the current set of devices on the market but I'm more interested in AR - I can see it being far more useful at work as well as at home than VR.

    Cables though - that's the problem with VR for me, I don't want them hanging off me when I'm using a VR headset.

    1. cambsukguy

      Re: VR? I'd rather have AR

      It would appear that MS agree with you, since the device discussed is wireless.

      Might need a cable to a belt battery pack though.

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge

        Re: VR? I'd rather have AR

        "Might need a cable to a belt battery pack though."

        particularly when Win-10-nic is involved. Reminds me of XP-tan, holding out her empty bowl: "More [electricity, memory, upgrades] please"

  10. ravenviz Silver badge
    Happy

    Are you trying to write a letter? (SFW)

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ifleu0VVAc0

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bobs up

    Big moment in a game...interrupted unexpectedly by...."Hi, need help with this boss level?" - Bob

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