back to article Microsoft says LinkedIn will make Trump, Brexit, voters feel great again

Microsoft says buying LinkedIn will help to address the middle class discontent that saw Britain vote to leave the European Union and America vote to leave politics as we know it behind by electing Donald Trump. The company has expressed that sentiment in its post announcing the European Commission's approval of its …

  1. Oengus

    Windows Critical Update

    We also won’t use Windows itself to prompt users to install a LinkedIn application, although it can remain available in the Windows Store and be promoted in other ways.

    Watch out for the Critical Security patch that installs the Linked In App on your PC... It won't prompt you to install the App so doesn't violate this "promise"...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What will LinkedIn actually do then?

    to make us feel great?

    Give the males amongst us a [redacted] job every time we get an connection request

    Ditto for the women?

    Send us all £500 just for joining?

    Give us all free beer for a year (Bud naturally because it is Merikan through and through)

    I really would like to know what MS are smoking these days.

    All their recent captures have not been improved by being part of the MS Borg.

    Posting AC because I have escaped the MS Collective at long last and have finally stopped getting connection requests from someone I worked with for a week in 2003.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: What will LinkedIn actually do then?

      Linked in will do then, what it does now.

      It is a forum (ab)used by hr droids and salesdroids nowdays. There has to be a place where retards applaud the blond bimbo from Theranos proudly proclaiming that she does not have plan B . There has to be a place where c*nt comiserate with a village idiot who tried to sell cloud (in a rather obnoxious way too) to the Amazon CTO. The spammer got what he deserved, but the fellow unsolicited marketing c*nts are in uproar on LinkedIn. And so on.

      1. BongoJoe

        Re: What will LinkedIn actually do then?

        >Boland's Right Hand. Thanks for those links.

        Both worrying, the second one more because there's this stand industry of creating news out of no news at all. Plus the list of self important job titles that people have given themselves.

        The terminology used: "thought leader" for example. It just makes me shudder.

        Anyway, thanks for the links and it reminds me why I left the mind crippling LinkedIn years ago if these are the sort of people who live there.

        As for the main article. I have wondered many a time whose job it is to go through each company merger and plough through reams of corporate management documentation, have countless internal meetings of one's own and then produce judgment. That has got to be one of the most soul crushing non-jobs ever created.

        1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

          Re: What will LinkedIn actually do then?

          "thought leader" - think of it phonetically. Fart leader.

          While not a perfect homophone it is close enough and it is semantically the correct fit for 99.999% of those LinkedIn labels "thought leader".

          That is also expected - do you think an HR droid outfit will recognize a real thought leader even if you hit it with him? Do not think so.

          1. AMBxx Silver badge

            Re: What will LinkedIn actually do then?

            LinkedIn lost it's usefulness 5 years+ back. Sadly, now it's just '5 things' lists. Useful to keep track of old contacts, but the rest is a waste of bandwidth.

          2. VinceH

            Re: What will LinkedIn actually do then?

            ""thought leader" - think of it phonetically. Fart leader."

            Another common one is influenza... oops, I mean influencer.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: What will LinkedIn actually do then?

          > The terminology used: "thought leader" for example. It just makes me shudder.

          Maybe they meant "Tough Leader"? You never know with autocorrect these days.

          Alternatively, maybe he was thought [to be a] leader but it turned out that he wasn't?

          Or maybe someone challenged themselves to outdo the Ministry of Silly Walks in their quest for a nonsensical job title?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What will LinkedIn actually do then?

        Voland, I downvoted your post for:

        * Substandard use of "blond". It is "blonde" when referring to a female subject, "blond" when referring to a male, even in adjectival form).

        * Inappropriate use of "bimbo". Apart from being a derogatory term, her physical characteristics have no bearing whatsoever in whichever point you might have been trying to make.

        * Bowdlerisation of the noun "cunt". If you do not feel comfortable using vulgar language, then don't. If you do feel comfortable, please use it correctly, if nothing else for those who do not have English as a native language and may not know what "c*nt" refers to.

        * General derogatory language ("cunts", "salesdroids", "village idiot", ...) Was it really necessary? It seems to me that this comments section is turning more and more like YouTube every day.

        * Unclear message. To be honest, I did not quite get what you were trying to say. You do not like LinkedIn? Do not find it useful? Regret that its quality has degraded?

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. macjules Silver badge

      Re: What will LinkedIn actually do then?

      Once upon a time I would have wanted a drag of whatever MSFT were smoking as it was always good stuff. Nowadays I am not so sure. I rather dislike emails from MSFT crowing about their analytics of Office365 and telling me that I was 32.83% productive in the past week, with 3.7 other 'team members'.

      I can only presume that LinkedIn will form a part of that. Sadly I should expect that all MSFT's acquisition of LI means is that badly written spam from IT recruiters will no longer end up in junk mail where it belongs.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: What will LinkedIn actually do then?

        "Office365 and telling me that I was 32.83% productive in the past week"

        The other 67.17% being the time spent wondering where all the command and functions have moved to this week.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Slurp, slurp, slurp.... what makes me like the neoliberal corporate machine more than the prospect of yet more private data being mined via the ombishambles that is windows 10. I've 'linkedout' due to the utter pointlessness of linkedin, and not wanting to be assimilated by the Borg. Can't say I've missed the cretinous sociopathic advice served up by psychotic corporate stooges.

    1. Wensleydale Cheese
      Unhappy

      Slurp, slurp, slurp...

      I was definitely miffed the other day when I followed a link to a presentation on slideshare.net to be greeted with:

      "Connect to more opportunity! We've logged you, <email-addy>, in with LinkedIn"

      No option given, they simply logged me in.

      And no doubt logged details of the slides I was interested in against my LinkedIn profile.

      I fully expect more of this crap to come.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Slurp, slurp, slurp...

        "No option given, they simply logged me in."

        You must have had an account set up in order for them to have logged you in. That was your first mistake.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    MS expressed that sentiment after European Commission's approval of its acquisition of LinkedIn:

    An optional Ribbon for Office coming anytime soon is out of the question?

    Well how about a complete ban on Windows-10 user Slurping then EU?

    Cheers for letting MS proceed. With governance like that lets all break-up!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reminder of what we have right now.... Can't wait till all this gets paired with Win-10 slurping:

    "But if your correspondent's experience of the network is typical – I get endless anodyne advice from Z-grade pundits, people pretending to be CEOs of major corporations so they can harvest my data and sales people trying to sell me stuff – it's hard to see anyone ending up richer or happier now that Microsoft owns LinkedIn."

  6. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Well, this raises two points for me.

    1) ".. integrate LinkedIn into Microsoft Office and combine [...] LinkedIn's and Microsoft's user databases.” - anyone else reminded of the "bad bank" concept?

    2) “In June [...] the CEOs of Microsoft and LinkedIn, announced their shared vision for bringing together the world’s leading professional cloud with the world’s leading professional network. Just ten days after they announced this combination, voters in the United Kingdom voted to leave the European Union." - okay, Brexit discussion over; it's officially all Microsoft's fault.

    Seriously, only a professional opportunist jurist can possibly come up with stuff like this.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dont worry.

    When MS realise they are doing nothing more than glittering a turd, it'll either be canned or turned into something else, equally as fucking pointless.

    This is the death knell for linkedin or however the fuck it's written. TL:DR

  8. macjules Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    And this just in ..

    Microsoft says buying LinkedIn will help dogs and cats to lead a productive and peaceful life together in unity.

    1. Cynical Observer

      Re: And this just in ..

      Let's continue this thread...

      Microsoft says buying LinkedIn will .....

      cause so much added momentum in the tech world that Earth can cancel all the leap seconds for the next millennium.

      1. Franco Silver badge

        Re: And this just in ..

        LinkedIn seems to be Chuck Norris according to Microsoft.

        LinkedIn can divide by 0!

        1. Bob Vistakin
          Holmes

          Re: And this just in ..

          Microsoft says buying LinkedIn was the key enabler for Jeremy Corbyn to become Prime Minister, a statue of Kelvin MacKenzie being erected at the Kop and David Cameron being made honorary president of the UK Pig Farmers alliance.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Linkedin already is a monopoly

    There is no competition for corporate focused social networking. No one is posting professional jobs on Facebook or Twitter.

    Not sure it really matters whether Microsoft owns them or not, but pretending that the EU is preserving competition which already does not exist is silly.

    1. AMBxx Silver badge

      Re: Linkedin already is a monopoly

      that's not the case in all markets. If you're not in an English speaking country, chances are you use something else.

  10. Ole Juul

    Where's my money?

    If I had a dollar for every time Microsoft does something that I find distasteful . . . . .

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thanks for the reminder

    Due to family issues, I had to postpone giving contacts a ping I'm abandoning my use of LinkedIn (read; complete account closure), but I certainly am going to make that happen in the next week or so now.

    Thanks for the reminder.

  12. druck Silver badge
    Go

    Voted leave

    Microsoft says buying LinkedIn will help to address the middle class discontent that saw Britain vote to leave the European Union and America vote to leave politics as we know it behind by electing Donald Trump.

    I've got news for Microsoft, I addressed my middle class discontent by voting to leave Microsoft long before voting to leave the EU.

    1. SVV

      Re: Voted leave

      So,it's buying LinkedIn in order to help people worried about "their" jobs being lost to immigrants, who then vote for xenophobic populist politicians?

      How on Earth is buying a clapped out, past its' sell by date social networking site going to do this? Last time I looked, these people soothe their discontent on places like the Daily Mail's website comments sections, they won't want to do it publicly on a site employers look at.

      Or maybe it's going to turn into a social networking site for Trump and Farage supporters. In which case I suggest they rename it "KickedOut" as that name will appeal more to that particular market segment.

  13. Kevin Johnston

    Sorry, what?

    Reading through this story I get a warm and cosy feeling as like many (the majority?) LinkedIn users I was winding down my use long before MS popped up. Once that happened it was the inspiration to make merry with my profile which saw any number of unusual jobs/companies suddenly appearing in my past to go with the continually changing date of birth colour of eyes etc etc etc.

    Kept me amused for several weeks before I finally killed my account and I hope MS appreciate the effort I put make my profile appealing to data mining for ambidextrous polylingual bagpipe playing software imagineers looking for a new role in marketing Xmas pension funds

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Windows

    So that's why MS bought LinkedIn!!

    I look forward to the endless "Have you upgraded to Windows 10" spam, plus reminders from MS that they don't have any records of me having a MS Office seat, even though my LinkedIn profile mentioned the 2017 planning Powerpoint deck that I just created.

  15. Zippy's Sausage Factory
    Windows

    I notice that...

    There's no mention of preventing LinkedIn becoming available only as part of an Office 365 subscription (and not a Home or Student edition, either). Which is something the cynical side of me kind of expects to happen sooner or later...

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