back to article Woman rescues red pepper Donald Trump from vegetarian chilli

It was just an ordinary evening for Janet Ayers in Portsmouth, preparing a vegetarian chilli for dinner. Ingredients included a trio of peppers – red, green and yellow – from Waitrose. So imagine Janet’s horror on slicing the red Capsicum to find the twisted and toothy mug of US president elect Donald Trump screaming at her. …

  1. Jedit Silver badge
    Trollface

    Headline correction please

    I mean, it wasn't rescued, was it? It still got eaten.

    "Trump lookalike cut to bits and devoured by Mexican lovers"

    1. MyffyW Silver badge

      Re: Headline correction please

      The beans de-canned themselves and paid for the privilege.

      The chilli powder was excluded due to it's middle eastern origin.

      The chilli has now been put in a blind trust to avoid any conflict of interest.

      1. BillG
        Joke

        Re: Headline correction please

        Looks more like Hillary, doesn't it?

        "I WANTED TO BE PRESIDENT! I WANTED TO BE PRESIDENT! WAAAHHHH!!"

        Joke icon, because some Hillary supporters can't take a joke.

    2. PyLETS
      Flame

      Re: Headline correction please

      Woman disproves thesis that revenge is a dish best served cold ?

      1. W4YBO

        Re: Headline correction please

        If "revenge is a dish best served cold" and "revenge is sweet", then revenge must be ice cream! Which helps after chilli.

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Headline correction please

          ice cream! Which helps after chilli.

          As does anything containing fat - capsaicin is fat-soluble and not water soluble. So drinking all that lager with your curry does nothing to remove the burning (other than dulling the CNS) whereas having a glass of milk/lassi does. Especially if it's full-fat milk.

          1. quxinot

            Re: Headline correction please

            Wrong.

            Drinking beer has prevented me from remembering any of the burning. Also works for colds, as per Dave Barry.

  2. Steven Raith

    Only one thing to say

    Jesus fuck, that's me having nightmares tonight.

    And not just because I'm scottish, and that piece of food isn't deep fried.

    Eesh.

    Steven R

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Only one thing to say

      One reason not to buy veg in Waitrose... You really do not want to have something screaming xenophobic drivel at you while you are cutting it up for a "foreign dish".

      1. William 3 Bronze badge

        Re: Only one thing to say

        Far better to have a sanctimonious twat shouting "racist" and "hitler" at anyone they take a disliking too I suppose.

  3. hplasm
    Paris Hilton

    End times are-

    When a certain Prophet (pbuh) appears in a fruit, toast or cheese food.... then what?!?!?

    As a wise man once said, "AIEE!!"

    1. phuzz Silver badge

      Re: End times are-

      More often it's just the word "Allah" appearing to be spelt in the seeds of a tomato or some such.

    2. The Indomitable Gall

      Re: End times are-

      " When a certain Prophet (pbuh) appears in a fruit, toast or cheese food.... then what?!?!? "

      How would you know? Due to the rules of the religion, there are no known images to compare to.

  4. Unep Eurobats
    Facepalm

    I clicked on this

    And I hate myself.

    Also I think there's been a little bit of creative knifework to make the eyes.

    1. Trilkhai

      Re: I clicked on this

      I clicked on it figuring I'd cleverly just scroll quickly down past the nightmare–image, only to discover some sadistic twit had instead placed the image lower on the fucking page.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I clicked on this

      "I think there's been a little bit of creative knifework to make the eyes."

      You mean on Trump or on the pepper? Both?

  5. Rich 11 Silver badge

    Jesus and the Virgin Mary have a predilection for appearing on toast, cheese and in fruit.

    And let's not forget the appearance of Our Saviour in a dog's arsehole.

    1. Laura Kerr

      I thought it was a pig's arsehole?

      1. Steven Raith

        No, that was our Prime Minister, in a pigs mouth.

        Hoi, what sounds like MI6 black helicopt

    2. lawndart

      It's clearly the Virgin Mary.

      Giving birth.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not the first vegetable discovered that looked like a dick.

    1. Tabor

      Re:shaped like a dick

      It's called a humorously shaped vegetable (which is a broader category). I assume the vegetable referenced in the article originated on Sir Terry's allotment on Cori Celesti. He probably threw it down just to see if someone noticed...

      I would recommend a humorously shaped vegetable section in the bootnotes on El Reg. It might be biting the hand of IT, but sometimes I wonder if the Ankh-Morpork Times tagline wouldn't be appropriate as well... Especially in IT security related articles.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Not the first vegetable discovered that looked like a dick."

      Must be a bell-end pepper then.

  7. Mark 85 Silver badge
    Devil

    Kitchen tip...

    To prevent this, cut the top off the pepper and remove the stem from the top. Core the pepper. Use the top and the pepper in dish. Dispose of core, the stem and any Trumps found.

    If you slice it longways like she did, no telling who you'll find in there....

    1. JimC

      Re: To prevent this

      But, but, but... Right now, all over the world people are buying up peppers and slicing them like that in the hope of finding another amusing shot to post to facebook. Sales of capsicums are booming, the economy benefits... And no doubt president elect Trump will be claiming it as the first economic success of his term in office...

  8. PNGuinn
    Trollface

    I'll trump that ...

    To me it looks more like Billary bawling her eyes out having finally realised that O'Bambi was not such a good electoral asset after all ...

    YMMV.

    1. Art Jannicelli

      Re: I'll trump that ...

      Heil Cheetolini!

  9. Winkypop Silver badge
    Devil

    Not a fair comparison

    I actually LIKE red peppers.

  10. Blitheringeejit

    Mistaken identity

    Definitely more Cartman than Trump - though it can be very hard to tell the difference sometimes.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nellie the Elephant

    So, Trump helped make her vegetarian chilli. Which is ironic, as vegetarian chilli normally helps make you trump.

  12. chivo243 Silver badge

    Nice Joke, but...

    Chili isn't from Mexico:

    If there is any doubt about what the Mexicans think about chili, the Diccionario de Mejicanismos, published in 1959, defines chili con carne as (roughly translated):

    “detestable food passing itself off as Mexican, sold in the U.S. from Texas to New York.”

    This was even one step further off, it was "veggie" chili! And true chili doesn't contain beans...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Nice Joke, but...

      I hear it get called "Chilli con carnage" a lot, and not being a lover of chilli, I'm inclined to agree.

  13. hammarbtyp

    If there is any karma in the world.

    "Let it fry, Mr Wintler. Let it fry"

    The Truth - Terry Pratchett

  14. Alistair
    Windows

    initial thought

    Was teething infant, squalling.

    Oddly, that works laterally to get Trump. (never held office, thus teething, finding out that the crowd that has tagged along with him gets to keep status quo, thus the squalling)

    Personally, for sweet, I prefer Shepards. Bell Peppers over here tend to be hothouse grown and have almost no flavour. A nice Cali Reaper and you have something that will make your veggie chilli stand up and bark.

  15. Haku

    Jesus on food? Naah, everyone knows he appeared in

    a dogs bottom

    Don't click the link if you're easily offended, or eating lunch.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Jesus on food? Naah, everyone knows he appeared in

      Every religion has it's own dog-ma.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    vegetarian chilli!!

    "going into a vegetarian chilli" yeah! no wonder it went all trump!

  17. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    That is nothing!

    Had a nasty cold recently. I blew my nose. And that orange/yellowish snot remaining in the handkerchief looked like the visage of Donaldfuckingtrump!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmm looks more like your average "liberal" post results to me. WAAAAHHHHH

  19. Mike Richards

    It would have been better

    If a Trump had been found in a brussel sprout.

  20. John 104

    Caption

    OW My Ass!

  21. IGnatius T Foobar

    Doesn't look like him

    That pepper really doesn't look like Donald Trump at all, unless one has a very twisted idea of what Donald Trump looks like. I'm thinking that maybe y'all should just chill.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Too obvious, but whatever

      "I'm thinking that maybe y'all should just chill."

      Don't you mean we should all just....

      (sunglasses)

      ...chilli?

      YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

  22. Fungus Bob

    THESE DAMNED VEGGIE-ARYANS MUST BE STOPPED!

    Effing Plant Supremacists! There oughtta be a law.

    What's that? Oh, alright. :(

    My wife says I hafta put the luminum foil back on my head and go sit in the corner...

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I once had a red rooster potato that looked like Chris Evans.

    Needless to say I fried it.

  24. William 3 Bronze badge

    You know what's tragic.

    Talk Talk & Royal Mail customers have been effected by the Marai worm, and have had their routers compromised and loss of service.

    And The Register has some stupid political clickbait shite as it's feature story instead of the above.

    FFS, leave your political views at the door.

    What's next, religious indoctrination about religion x are all nazi sympathisers.

    It's fucking pathetic. We get it, you have your political views.

    But this is supposed to be a tech site.

    If you're just going to write spazzy 3rd grade articles like this instead of covering actual fucking news, then what's the fucking point.

    When the Daily Mail is covering tech articles better than you, whilst you're debasing yourself with articles that wouldn't even make it to the back page of the Mail let alone the headlines, you can fool yourselves that you're all righteous, but you it makes you look like cocks.

    1. Mr_Bungle

      Re: You know what's tragic.

      Imbecile.

      1. This is a bootnotes article, always irreverent humour, often not involving tech. If you don't like the mix of humour and news on the Reg, why come here. You must of realised by now, this what they do.

      2. Holding up the Daily Mail as a comparison, makes YOU look like a cock.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: You know what's tragic.

      I'm curious, when did you receive your humour bypass?

      I take it the operation was a success. Did they not supply after care? Did they not warn you that you could and would take something that is a clearly humorous completely the wrong way?

      Anyway, I wish you a speedy recovery and hope one day you can rejoin humanity as a fully functioning human being. Until then I would refrain from judgement on the internet in general but if you really need to comment I recommend reddit.

      Here's to a speedy recover.

  25. Blake St. Claire

    “It was going into a vegetarian chilli,”

    Plain old chili is – by definition – vegetarian.

    Chili con carne, chili con frijoles, chili con carne y frijoles – those are something else.

    Imagine my surprise when, as a naíve lad of about 13 or 14, when I ordered chili rellenos in a Mexican restaurant, and didn't get what I was expecting. Turned out I I loved it – it's one of my favorite dishes.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cry Baby Pepper

    Waaaahhh! I want my Momma!!!

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