back to article Twitter bans own CEO Jack Dorsey from Twitter

Twitter today briefly suspended the Twitter account of Twitter cofounder and CEO Jack Dorsey. For a moment, we all thought the big boss had been unceremoniously booted out of the troubled biz or had fallen foul of his own anti-abuse complaints system. But it was probably a bug or something mundane like that. Twits surfing over …

  1. JeffyPoooh
    Pint

    Trial run for Pres. Trump

    Obviously.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Trial run for Pres. Trump

      Twitter needs to stay a float if for no other reason where else can you get so concise bat shit crazy directly from the source (and not have to go on your crazy uncle's shitty facebook page)?

  2. HildyJ Silver badge
    Facepalm

    As an educated senior citizen, I deplore Twitter abbreviations but this had me ROTFLMAO.

    1. Halfmad

      Clearly you've forgotten that those abbreviations were around long before twitter too.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Facebook tells me its CEO died, Twitter bans its CEO, what's next, Larry Page reduced to using Bing?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No he uses DuckDuckGo

      Because he doesn't want to be tracked...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: No he uses DuckDuckGo

        Well, he left following 2200+, ppl found some strange tweets about reading some satanic rituals while eating "pasta", if you've seen the 'Pizzagate' stuff, you'll understand. He cleaned up his old tweets, and rid himself of certain followers.....

    2. Fungus Bob

      Re: "what's next, Larry Page reduced to using Bing?"

      Followed by SatNad using an Amazon Echo because Cortana is having a torrid affair with Clippy.

  4. Mark Simon

    The real irony …

    The three tweets - or is that twits? - cited don’t appear to appreciate they are active users of the social media - or is that social engineering? - service which they are bagging.

    The real question is how would you know that Jack Dorsey was suspended without actually going there?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The real irony …

      But how else can they feel superior, if there were no social media upon which to gaphoor would they truly be gaphooring?

  5. NanoMeter

    Twitter grammar

    Twitter, tweets, twats.

  6. MNGrrrl
    FAIL

    Captain Obvious To the Rescue!

    Twitter can't possibly monitor the firehose of tweets that millions of people submit; We all know that, like so many sites, they rely on algorithms to deal with abuse and harassment. But as we've seen many times -- a concerted effort by threat actors can manipulate the system to nuke accountsed. And that is, of course, what happened here. The lack of press release is further evidence of this: Nobody wants to admit that the resources required to effectively and fairly police their users would exceed their income. They have to present the idea that the policies are effective, even when they aren't. It's bureaucracy 101: "We don't have a problem and we're working to fix it as fast as we can."

    -

    All algorithmically-based anti-abuse systems are invariably misused to silence critics. You can't effectively prevent abuse, harassment, or hate speech through algorithms; The reverse is usually the result -- abusive people manipulate those systems to damage their opponents far more than they could if the provider remained neutral. It may *also* slow down or deter the behaviors in question, but that quickly becomes the exception, not the norm, as resources expended remain constant while user count skyrockets.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Captain Obvious To the Rescue!

      "We all know that, like so many sites, they rely on algorithms to deal with abuse and harassment. But as we've seen many times -- a concerted effort by threat actors can manipulate the system to nuke accounts"

      And this is only an example of using big data and "AI" to run businesses. What could possssssibly go wrong?

  7. Mark 85 Silver badge

    Practice run, maybe?

    If they give him the boot or he quits... I can see killing his account.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Contarary to item on the news, I am not deceased

    What a wonderful way to destroy someones credit rating.

    Post a notice of their death and ...

    Just a thought.

    Not a FB or Twitter user so I would probably not even know if someone had done that to me.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Contarary to item on the news, I am not deceased

      "What a wonderful way to destroy someones credit rating.

      Post a notice of their death and ..."

      My employer (a bank) will accept a notification of death from your next of kin to prevent fraud/identity theft, but require an actual death certificate to formally class you as deceased.

  9. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    One down.

    316,999,999 to go...

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wot no headline pun?

    Twitter critter in quitter shitter

    Corsey can't tweet now

    Jack Shit!

    Tweet Free Corsey

    Twitter twat in mishap flip flap

  11. Alister Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Ah, the dichotomy...

    For a miraculous moment, I witnessed @jack having been suspended from his own shitty website

    And it was a pure, perfect life. I miss it.

    — Gus (@guscraw) November 23, 2016

    ...of posting this on Twitter.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Somebody has to remove Donald Trump from making his own tweets....or contributing!

    Very bad man that Donald Trump, very bad....

    I really dont care what he thinks in private, and as President of the USA, I shouldnt be able to find out so quickly and informatively....

    He and his stupid tweets will bring the office into even more disrepute than he already does just by being President!

    Can someone please remove his access......

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Somebody has to remove Donald Trump from making his own tweets....or contributing!

      I wish they could. Latest says "he just wants to be loved"... so I guess his tweets will do that?

  13. John H Woods Silver badge

    What he thinks in private ...

    ... isn't there a word for just saying the first (dumb) thing that comes into one's head? Braintrump or something?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What he thinks in private ...

      I thought it was Verbal Diarrhoea

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    what is Twiiter?

  15. Howard Hanek
    Megaphone

    Help Me!

    ....I've fallen down and can't get up! Hello? Hello?

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    I can now reveal the full explanation from Twitter

    LOL! ROFL! Twitter suxxs, luser got kicked off, NSA oops they did it again!! #kardashian #failwhalefail #eatmytweet #notmypotus #goargosssss

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  19. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Trollface

    J̶u̶m̶p̶i̶n̶ ̶J̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶F̶l̶a̶s̶h̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶R̶o̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶S̶t̶o̶n̶e̶s̶

    Dumpin Jack Dorsey by the Trolling Stones

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