back to article Brace yourselves! Blighty is turning to AI for help

The UK government is looking at ways to revamp its digital services with the help of machine learning and AI, according to a new report released by the Government Office for Science. AI is the biggest trend taking over technology, and with the looming presence of autonomous vehicles and robots, governments are beginning to …

  1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    Maybe they need artificial intelligence to make up for the lack of the natural type (in government in particular)

    1. StaudN

      No need for that Joke Alert icon.... it's true. :(

  2. StaudN

    Standard Protocol

    "It’s quite wishy-washy however, and the government hasn’t made any concrete promises."

    Consistent with Brexit...

  3. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    When I read the headline, the first thought was "who is this Al they are talking about?"

    Al Capone?

    Al Pacino?

    Al Jazeera?

    Al Qaeda?

    1. Mutton Jeff

      Al Jarreau, obvs

  4. JohnMurray

    Best idea I've heard from EVER.

    ANY intelligence in government is a good idea. Pity about the lack of natural intelligence...still, artificial is better than none..

  5. SVV

    Announcing Artificial Brit-telligence

    My new consultancy firm that can offer bespoke AI solutions to British people and organisations only and not to any of those bloody foreigners. (This policy was thought of by the AB engine itself, so you see ministers, that's proof of how intelligent it really is).

    Available for consulting work righjt now to produce even more vacuous and meaningless drivel than you set out in your mission statement, we will nevertheless guarantee that the gullible public are completely overawed by the cutting-edgeness of the whole thing.

    Following initial studies of existing systems, our analysts will provide detailed plans of how the Brit-telligence engine can be a solution in search of all your problems.

    Full implementation can then begin on an open ended basis whereby you pay us enormous amounts of money on an "increasing cost" basis for a system that will only ever be six months away from delivery.

    As you can see, we already fully conform to the best practices laid down by the government's digital services department, so will be ready to begin right away.

  6. Teiwaz


    Perfect, now they can more legitimately declare it was not their fault if/when things go tits up.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: A.I.

      But AI has no tits (except in Japan).

  7. Captain DaFt

    I can do this!

    Obviously, they need "AI" because real intelligence (AKA Science, Medical, and Legal Advisers) so seldom tells them what the want to hear.

    So, with a few lines of code, I can make them an "AI" that'll always give them exactly the answer they want.

    "Your proposal to $problem is exactly what needs to be done and should be implemented immediately!"

    Huh, did I say few lines of code? Just have the above comment tastefully calligraphed onto a strip of Vellum placed in a tasteful teakwood box.

    Open whenever "expert" advice is needed.

    I trust Parliament will soon be in contact for further details.

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