Starting point: EMBRACE the human factor
Yes Trev, you know me.
I have an answer that is simple to state, but takes a lifetime of effort - also known as a commitment.
Embrace the human in your work. Your job is not just to manage some kit, widen your view to the point of realisation that what you do affects people (you did allude to that, but it must be an integral part of your thinking). People who write UIs should think of their grandparents trying to use their work. People who design infrastructures should keep in mind the NEXT guy trying to manage it (slight aside: we are in the process of implementing a mandatory handover process to test if this is done right because you cannot have a business dependent on one person - I'll get back to that in a minute). People who audit other people's work should realise that they are dealing with someone's daily job and should help that person to enhance and improve that work, not tear it down on minor flaws so they can show they're "better" to sell their consultancy outfit (trust me, I've met enough of those fools, but the guys that work for me do so because they earned both my respect and trust).
In other words, look beyond yourself, and help others do that too. Upwards, sideways, downwards. The tabs thing? Well, that's just a REGEX search & replace away from a fix, and a good debate over beer ought to clean this up - learn the difference between an argument and a debate (for fun, take the OTHER side of a viewpoint under discussion - trust me, it's interesting). (Re)Learn tolerance and cutting other people some slack - realise that the black-and-white approach is a result of media induced training to sell ads, not a natural social mode of behaviour.
Yes, I know there are a lot of managers out there and precious few leaders, but it's not about what they do, it's what you do with and to others. If you're the sort of political, backstabbing climber who has no problem tripping people up for gain, trust me, if you try to get into my crew your reputation and your own habits will get you ejected before you make it past the first month. If you're the sort of boss who needs slaves and despot-like behaviour to run your operation, you do not deserve the best, because the best can and will walk, and you will forever have to watch your back.
And you want to be the best (never assuming your ARE is part of that, by the way, I alluded to that in another post :) ).
I know it's fashionable to squeeze the last erg of effort out of people in the age of the spreadsheet, but that's for idiots who do not plan long term. I run my setup in a way that makes every person replaceable, including me. Why? Because it means people can get ill and go on holiday without the fear that the world collapses behind them - they know others (and their boss) have their back rather than stab it. Because it makes good business sense to have people who like where they work because, quite simply, THAT is the right way to get the best of people.
Of course, this has to go together with a HR process that filters out the idiots, but if you've been doing this for a bit you know that what the likes of Lord Sugar and Orange Trump show as a business is for megalomaniacs. It can be done differently - usually better.
You can run a business without fear. And if you manage that - you will be feared :).
(slightly rambly, but I'm going to leave it as it is lack of structure and all :) ).