back to article New measurement alert. The Pogba: 1,200Pg = NHS annual budget

Reporting on NHS expenditure today, the BBC's health correspondent Nick Triggle coined The Register's newest unit of measurement: The Pogba (Pg). The NHS is the second biggest area of public spending behind welfare. Last year, the Treasury handed over £118bn to the Department of Health in England - that is enough to buy more …

  1. sjaddy

    Mixing metaphors

    " but given the volatility of both the Sterling and footballers"

    Sterling is a footballer and the only person known to refer to themselves as "the" is the Donald!

    if it was meant to be sterling as currency there is no capital S

    1. You aint sin me, roit Silver badge

      Re: Mixing metaphors

      The value of Sterling tends to fluctuate too... and if you believe the tabloids he can be quite volatile.

  2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Given that it's based on someone who's occupation is to kick a replica of an infalted pig's bladder up and down a field whilst being old enough to know better I take it this is a unit of cost, not of worth.

  3. Elmer Phud


    For some it seems that the base pogba is vastly over inflated while the NHS requires long term investment rather that the shorter term payback of booze and arms that often includes NHS clients.

    1. qwertyuiop

      Re: Value

      And don't forget that as soon as Brexit is complete we'll have an extra 3.92 pogbas a week to spend on the NHS!

      It must be true - Boris said so!

      1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

        Re: Value

        That still won't satisfy the bottomless pit that is the NHS funding even allowing for Pogba inflation.

      2. streaky

        Re: Value

        That's 1/3 of an NHS non-league team right there.

  4. Pete 2 Silver badge

    But what is the unit for measuring standardisation of units?

    > while 1Pg is equal to £89.3m, 2Pg does not necessarily equal £178.6m

    I look forward to reading your explanation of the Erlang

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: But what is the unit for measuring standardisation of units?

      Did you mean Erlangen? Lots of interesting facts about Erlangen.

  5. Wiltshire

    Re "the second Paul Pogba could be an expensive and lazy sysadmin from Luton"

    How very dare you? I'm not from Luton!

  6. Lusty

    Less than £2k per person

    Can't believe we're spending so little on healthcare!

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Less than £2k per person

      That's only the English budget I think, so slightly more than £2k per person. But it's only a few Pogbas either way.

    2. Oddlegs

      Re: Less than £2k per person

      Given that the vast majority of people only make use of the health services in any meaningful way in the first and last 5-10 years of their life the cost for only those years of need is considerably more.

      Really it's no different to any other insurance. The huge majority of people won't get back what they pay in but you still pay during the good years just in case you're unlucky enough to need it. A rare condition could easily cost millions to treat.

      1. CustardGannet

        Re: Less than £2k per person

        According to the Oracle-Of-All Knowledge that is Wikipedia (okay, I know, but humour me), the good ol' U.S. of A. spends $9523 per person on healthcare, whilst us medieval peasants in the UK spend a measly $3235 [ ].

        Yet somehow the average Merkin manages to live 2 years less, at 79.3 years, rather than 81.2 [ ].

        But of course the current Prez's introduction of a centrally-funded health program was an oppressive socialist attack on their freedoms...

        1. IT Poser

          Re: Less than £2k per person

          Complain all you want about the NHS but, with the exception of cancer care, you get better outcomes for around a third of the lifetime cost per patient. If it were up to me the healthcare industry would get three months to fix the problem or they would be nationalized. The three months is so we can watch the highly profitable non-profits squirm to keep their gravy train rolling in.

      2. Jason Bloomberg
        Thumb Up

        Re: Less than £2k per person

        Really it's no different to any other insurance.

        I have long suspected that insurance tends to work like carrying an umbrella around; if you have it you won't need it and it will look like an unnecessary inconvenience but, if you don't have it, you will find you will need it and are buggered without it.

        I have unfortunately had to 'make a claim' and I am thankful for the service we have, the nurses, doctors, surgeons and everyone else who makes it work, and everyone paying for it.

        Looking at how much my treatment would have cost elsewhere the NHS is a bargain. I can understand why people who don't have that end up selling their houses, being plunged into debt or having no option but to book the undertaker.

        I suspect most people will use the NHS at some time in their life and probably will get back a fair share of what they put in even if they don't realise it. Even if people are fortunate enough not to have to call upon NHS services themselves they will likely have family, relatives or friends who do.

        1. the.spike

          Re: Less than £2k per person

          I was shocked the other day to learn just how American health insurance works. I assumed you paid each month, and then when ill, they paid out.

          Turns out that's not so.

          If you've got something they cover, you pay out your deductions first ($2k-5k apparently), and then they pay out ~80% of the cost of the treatment. You still end up having to shell out a fair amount.

          I always wondered what people were complaining about and where all the bankruptcies were coming from. I assumed it was people without insurances. Turns out it's not.

          It's a terrible system and I can not say a word against the NHS, even on the rare occasions when things haven't gone swimmingly. The amount of work they do, for those that need it, at the price you pay at the point of delivery is phenomenal.

      3. defiler

        Re: Less than £2k per person

        "The huge majority of people won't get back what they pay in but you still pay during the good years just in case you're unlucky enough to need it."

        I remember discussing NICU costs with a nurse when my kids blew through the £1 million mark. Each. And they were only halfway there by that point. I think they've already drawn out more than they'll realistically put in!

        The NHS is far from perfect, but I'm damn glad we have it. And I'm happy to pay for it.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Less than £2k per person

          So was I until I lived abroad and saw that we in the UK pay over the odds for a relatively poor service.

          1. Kernel

            Re: Less than £2k per person

            "So was I until I lived abroad and saw that we in the UK pay over the odds for a relatively poor service."

            That's what I thought about the cost of visiting the doctor in New Zealand - and then I took the cat to the vet for its annual checkup!

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Monty Python reference

    Ref the typing speed, was that an African sheep or a European sheep?

    1. Alan J. Wylie

      Re: Monty Python reference

      Ref the typing speed, was that an African sheep or a European sheep?

      And would it be spherical?

      1. PNGuinn
        Thumb Up

        Re: Monty Python reference

        Perfectly smooth and whose weight might be ignored?

    2. Suricou Raven

      Re: Monty Python reference

      I understand Welsh sheep are the fastest. Something about regular exercise.

  8. Dr. G. Freeman

    Yes, but is there a Reg unit of time ?

    Very well having a cost, but need an interval of time to get a rate (Nanopogbas an Hour ? sounds a bit Gallons a Kilometre to me)

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Shouldn't the Reg unit of time be a Parsec?

      How many Parsecs does it take to do the Kessel run? How many double-decker buses are there in a Kessel run. That gives you Parsecs per double-decker bus...

  9. DNTP

    Pg and pg

    Are already claimed by the petagram and picogram. I suggest using the notation Ogb to define Pogbas, which the engineers here will start irrelevantly pronouncing as "Awwg-beees".

    Edit: Actually I like θgb better since it avoids the "zero or O" confusion.

    1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: Pg and pg

      Actually I like θgb

      Pronounced thetag-b?

      1. PNGuinn

        Re: Pg and pg

        If we’re going to get that clever over naming our units and start descending into greek like all good engineers on the basis that P >> Pi (can't be arsed to find π in my character map) that would give us Pig.

        What's not to like?

        It's the uncertainty of the unit hat slightly worries me. We need a clear, complicated, mathematical definition. It's not proper science otherwise. Questions need to be Asked in the House.

        Are we venturing into Quantum Theory? Chaos Theory? BOFH Theory? Friday Pubtime Theory?

        1. Swarthy
          Paris Hilton

          Re: Pg and pg

          "Are we venturing into Quantum Theory? Chaos Theory? BOFH Theory? Friday Pubtime Theory?


  10. isogen74

    Ensuring future consistency

    Given the time-sensitive nature of the value of 1 Pg, I propose he is cryogenically frozen and stored in the International Bureau of Weights and Measures alongside the International Prototype of the Kilogram. We can thaw him out, give him a clean, and let him have a kick about occasionally to ensure future accuracy of the value.

  11. Alistair


    Pogbas -- would not that be cost per linear distance over time?

    x pounds for (ball distance travelled in a season)?

  12. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    Measurement of NHS Waste

    May I suggest a measure of waste (of funds and lives) based on the shenanigans of the Southern Health NHS Trust

  13. doug johnston

    One Neymar = 2.2 Pogbas

    approx 7485 Tesla model 3 (depending on spec and exchange rate)

    approx 262,000 Galaxy Note 8 phones depending on launch price exchange rate and whether we can be bothered :)

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021