back to article Microsoft kinda did OK this quarter – but whatever, Wall Street loves Satya Nadella

Microsoft's first-quarter results for its 2017 fiscal year reveal a four per cent year-on-year fall in profit and 10 per cent dive in operating income. Just before the quarterly results were announced, Microsoft's stock was down about half a per cent to $57.25 a share. Then when the figures landed, and despite the fall in …

  1. J. R. Hartley

    Windows Phone

    The only reason they bother is so they can keep claiming their 10 quid per Android handset sold. It's 'patently' obvious.

    Mine's the one with the S7 Edge.

  2. P. Lee
    Big Brother

    >Nadella reported that Windows 10 users now number 400 million, and more than 200 billion hours of use time has now been logged by Redmond.

    Because that isn't creepy, is it?


    You better watch out

    You better not cry

    You better not pout

    I'm telling you why

    SatyaNad is coming to town.


    He knows when you are gaming

    Knows every spelling mistoke

    He knows if you are goofing off

    So be good for goodness soke


    You'd better not copy, *his* Windows

    But you couldn't say "no", not by clicking "close"

    SatyaNad is coming to town!


    He's murdered his own channel

    Sucks all into the cloud

    All your base belong to him

    Clicked "Upgrade" - or not, he's allowed


    Oh, Tel Emetry is so much fun!

    He even knows,

    When you're browsing pron

    SatyaNad is coming to town


    I must confess a secret

    I installed Win10 too

    But only for B.Y.O.D.

    It ain't *my* data - Woohoo!


    Oh, I've kept it in,

    Its own little VM

    I gotta laptop, with loads of mem,

    SatyaNad is coming to town


    I'm not sure what he's thinking,

    When apps are in the cloud,

    There'll be no need for Windows t(h)en

    And no casual dev's allowed.


    He'd better watch out,

    And he'd better cry,

    AWS is eating his pie,

    Maybe SatyaNad is leaving this town!

    1. P. Lee

      ^ Feel free to join in, like the "old time religion" verse collections from The Time Before The Web.

    2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge


      have an upvote for that. Made my day.(having a root filling later)

    3. tiggity Silver badge

      Not sure why people downvoted that, I enjoyed it!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        re Downvote

        anything critical of Microsoft seems to get downvoted these days. The post is a wonderful parody of MS today. Sad that the downvoters can't take a joke. This post may well attract some negativity as well.

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: re Downvote

          "anything critical of Microsoft seems to get downvoted these days."

          Not quite anything. When the news is something particularly egregious they seem to keep their heads down. But it was informative that the first vote on your post was a downvote, so have an upvote for balance.

  3. hplasm

    Never mind the quality-

    feel the width!

  4. druck Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Up the Cloud

    I hope Microsoft's cloud does exceptional well, as eventually Microsoft will be the only one actually running Microsoft software.

  5. Eddy Ito

    ... as popular as a rattlesnake in a piñata.

    Now hang on, I can see that catching on. Instead of an election we could just give Clinton and Trump each one stick and let them go at the piñata simultaneously. We'll keep the rules simple, no antivenin allowed, survivor wins.

    Wait, I just realized the poor rattlesnake doesn't stand a chance being the least venomous of the three. I guess it's back to the caged death match idea then.

    1. joeW

      Can we not have one comment section that doesn't devolve into Merkin politics?

      1. Queasy Rider

        Merkin politics?

        Right, we want Brit politics, Euro politics etc.

  6. armyknife

    Cloud Cuckoo Land ?

    See Title.

  7. Expat-Cat


    or did I miss something?

    1. Champ

      Re: 2017?

      You missed something. Microsoft, like many US companies, runs it's financial year from July to June. Strictly speaking they in 2016/2017, but they just refer to it as 2017.

  8. JJKing

    P. Lee, thank you for the laugh :thumbsup: . It immediately brought to mind this old gem.

    Windows 95 is 32 bit extension for a

    16 bit graphical shell for an

    8 bit operating system originally written for a

    4 bit processor written by a

    2 bit company that doesn't care

    1 bit about their customers.

    I guess that makes me old even in dinosaur years.

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