"To beat the competition and have fun while we win."
AKA the beatings will continue until morale improves.
The classic management domino affect has reached Hewlett Packard Enterprise’s UK team with new broom Marc Waters naming his sales lieutenants. Changes started in July when EMEA boss Peter Ryan was made global sales head for the Enterprise Group, he was replaced by UK boss Andy Isherwood who was then succeeded by UK EG boss …
While I'm not a fan of 'big business speak' sometimes in such enterprises you need to talk the lingo if for no other reason than to demonstrate some experience in working in that type of environment. People use these phrases to show some level of experience/seniority. No-one necessarily likes it, or talks like that in real life but sometimes you just have to play the game.
"developing increased vertical relevance” = means making your offering appear more focused on particular industry sectors. Produce marketing and solution architectures focused on Oil or retail or banking and those potential customers will feel you have a better fit product for their needs.
"He is to “bridge” innovative technical capability with a go-to-market plan" = make sure his presales team have the correct technical skills that match the sort of things they are trying to sell.
it's not all total gibberish....
'or talks like that in real life'
but they do talk like that, I've met them.
Waters was talking about ladders, the PHB was cleaning out the gutters at the weekend using his old but serviceable wooden ladders, they took so long to set up that it started to rain.
"go fast in setting up to win"
Had he been quicker he wouldn't have got wet.
Pip is working on longer ones.
Mark A is thinking of folding or sliding
Mark F is asking the customers
Sean is evaluating platform ones
Lee, Bob and Amanda hold the bottom
Ian and Matt work from home
Company Kool-Aid all round
Allow me to relay a telephone conversation I've just had with someone from HPE only a matter of minutes ago:
Them: Hi, this is X from HPE, I just wanted to...
Me: If HPE phone me again, I will add you to the switchboard blacklist, thanks very much, goodbye.
Seriously, they - and their resellers - are bugging the life out of me. I admin a small school but we have some really good kit and NOT ONE BIT of it is HP. There's a reason for that - everything from these kinds of phone calls all the time to just not selling a single thing I'm interested in.
And when I *tell* them that we don't have - nor want - a single HPE machine, service or anything else, they don't stop. Any other company with half a brain just says "Okay, no problem. Do you mind if I give you a call in six months or so?". And you know what, THAT I don't mind. Even if the answer is going to be the same in six months and I KNOW that for a fact.
But HPE have just one nerve of mine left before I just start blocking their calls at the switchboard entirely. And they have no interest in fixing that situation.
Spent £250k with IBM/Lenovo on server kit, though. And have literally NEVER had an un-asked-for phone call from them.
HPE have definitely had a massive push in this area over the last year or so, it's highly noticeable but from my point of view it's been nothing but counterproductive in increasing their actual sales.
I've just made a bet with my technician over how long before we find out that HPE are actually bankrupt and desperate for any custom to salvage that.