back to article One-way Martian ticket: Pick passengers for Musk's first Mars pioneer squad

Admit it. You were tempted to fulfil your sci-fi fantasy – no, not that one – and apply to Mars One Foundation to become a Red Planet pioneer three years back. That call saw 202,586 put their names forward to join a one-way trip starting in 2025. Elon Musk this week undercut Mars One, promising he’d land 100 pioneers on the …

  1. m0rt

    "Musk seems to think can be traversed in 80 days."

    Yeah. He also states that his cars have an autopilot when the firm that originally provided the tech stated it should be 'driver assist'

    Not knocking his achivements. Just not sure that I trust him with my life.

    But hey. Maybe I don't want to be on the 'Greatest Ever Reality Show' enough.

    1. Steve Todd

      You can do it in a lot less time than that, providing you start out with enough thrust. Elon thinks that the right balance between cargo capacity and safely transiting the distance is 80 days. Add more passengers and it takes longer, less and you can do it quicker.

      1. Rich 11 Silver badge

        But there's only so much that can be done with discardable boosters, since you need to slow down at the other end. The more thrust you need to generate, the more fuel you need to carry. Tsiolkovsky's rocket equations are quite unforgiving.

      2. Steve Todd

        Roughly 150 tons of fuel are joined to the stack by the second launch. It's that which will be consumed to boost to the specified 6.5km/s transfer velocity and slow down at the far end. It's the size of the fuel budget that gets them the speed, and nothing to date has had a budget anywhere close.

      3. John Smith 19 Gold badge

        "You can do it in a lot less time than that, providing you start out with enough thrust. "

        True, but that gives you a lot more velocity to brake at either end. In the early 90's the Defense Analysis Agency did a report on this. 76 days is possible if you can get up to 20 Km/s.

        At the speeds Musk is proposing (around 8 Km/s) 80 days will be possibly in an alignment that comes up in about 20 years. The average for the speed he's been talking about is about 115 days, more like 4 months.

        1. macjules Silver badge

          Re: "You can do it in a lot less time than that, providing you start out with enough thrust. "

          Could you boost this with intermediate fuelling points along the way? I know there is one case study that calls for refuelling close to the moon using libration (Lagrangian?) points to maintain a stable position. What about using something like that to minimise the main vehicle launch payload - i.e. to send a number of rockets up and then assemble them in space.

          For those who voted for Donald Trump to be the 100th passenger - what would the other 99 have done to deserve that?

        2. oldcoder

          Re: "You can do it in a lot less time than that, providing you start out with enough thrust. "

          I think 20 years is about how long it will take to get the passenger transport designed, tested, and built.

    2. Fungus Bob

      "Musk seems to think can be traversed in 80 days."

      Those would be Imperial days which are 20% longer than regular days.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Seems few realise Mars does not have a breathable atmosphere. Fancy life in a spacesuit ?

    1. Bumpy Cat

      A life locked in a small room with only a computer for entertainment?

      ...

      Where do I sign up?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Facepalm

        Signing up for a life locked in a small room with only a computer

        Don't forget the internet connection with anywhere from 6 to 51 minutes of ping latency to Earth.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Signing up for a life locked in a small room with only a computer

          Gaming is really going to suck :(

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: Signing up for a life locked in a small room with only a computer

            "Gaming is really going to suck :("

            Is it really so hard to imagine a way of playing a computer game that doesn't require an internet connection or a remote server? Are single player games or LAN parties so far in the past that no one remembers them any more? Pah! Kids today! Git of ma (dusty red) lawn!

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Signing up for a life locked in a small room with only a computer

          Don't forget the internet connection with anywhere from 6 to 51 minutes of ping latency to Earth.

          Counterstrike is going to be a big bit crap, then. And grumble browsing isn't going to be much better.

    2. The Man Who Fell To Earth Silver badge
      WTF?

      atmosphere

      It ain't like in the movies.

      The mean atmospheric pressure on Mars is only 0.6% of that of Earth. (Equivalent on Earth of being at an altitude of 22 miles, or about 35 km.) Which is why "violent dust storms" is a joke. At full force, the most "violent" dust storm with 130mpg winds on Mars can barely move one of those thin a plastic shopping bags.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: atmosphere

        "At full force, the most "violent" dust storm with 130mpg..."

        But they get pretty good efficiency :)

      2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: atmosphere

        What wouuld the effect of those dust storms on say an orange toupee?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: atmosphere

        > Which is why "violent dust storms" is a joke. At full force, the most "violent" dust storm with 130mpg winds on Mars can barely move one of those thin a plastic shopping bags.

        Finally we know where you fell off from.

    3. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      If we're voting to send Trump and Piers Morgan, I also vote that we don't send spacesuits.

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        Sending Trump and Piers Morgan would be a remarkably efficient start to terraforming. After all, the atmosphere on Mars is rather thin and cold therefore adding a lot of hot air should be a good start.

        there's probably a good reason why I'm not a rocket scientist!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Obligatory red dwarf reference:

          Trump and Morgan world...

          Shudder..................

      2. Captain DaFt

        "If we're voting to send Trump and Piers Morgan, I also vote that we don't send spacesuits."

        Too chancy, they might survive. Can't we send them to the Sun instead?

  3. Ol'Peculier

    Well, if it means I get to travel on the Heart of Gold, I'm in...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      > Well, if it means I get to travel on the Heart of Gold, I'm in...

      Just make sure it's not just a sticker over the real name... B Ark

  4. W Donelson

    Interview with one astronaut said that with the BEST shielding available, a human would get the equivalent of 6,000 chest xrays on a trip to Mars.

    1. pop_corn

      > a human would get the equivalent of 6,000 chest xrays on a trip to Mars.

      I wouldn't worry about that, you're unlikely to survive on Mars long enough to die of lung cancer.

  5. Andy 97

    The Dirty Digger

    Only one person deserves this golden ticket:

    Rupert Murdoch.

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: The Dirty Digger

      Actually I was thinking "most of the above and quite a few more". David Cameron seems to have some time on his hands after needlessly setting the country on a course for unchartered waters, not unlike a trip to Mars.

    2. Martin Summers Silver badge

      Re: The Dirty Digger

      It's Katie Hopkins for me personally.

      1. Mummy's 'ickle soldier
        Thumb Up

        Re: The Dirty Digger

        Absolutely bang on.

    3. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: The Dirty Digger

      Maybe the list should be the other way around.... 98 seats filled with those we'd like to say "good riddance and you'll make some nice fertilizer" to and the other 2 seats for two guys who make sure the other 98 step out of the ship.

  6. Geoff Campbell
    Boffin

    Journey time

    I suspect that the 80 day journey time relies on the extra fuel that will be loaded in orbit. If you're relying on the fuel you've boosted out of the gravity well in the initial launch, there's a bunch less thrust available.

    Bottom line, I can't see them getting something as fundamental as the journey time wrong.

    Oh, and sign me up, would you? Sounds like a lot of fun.

    GJC

    1. VinceH

      Re: Journey time

      "Oh, and sign me up, would you? Sounds like a lot of fun."

      I'd offer a similar sentiment, but I'd almost certainly fail any health checks that are carried out.

      However, as to others going - I don't care who does it first, but I want someone to do it so that I can see a human setting foot on Mars before I croak.

      Despite my dislike of reality shows, I'll even watch that version (the important bits, at least), if it actually happens and it's the one that gets there first.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Journey time

        "However, as to others going - I don't care who does it first, but I want someone to do it so that I can see a human setting foot on Mars before I croak."

        I fear, if rushed it's more likely to be "I can see a human croaking after setting foot on Mars"

        1. VinceH

          Re: Journey time

          "I fear, if rushed it's more likely to be "I can see a human croaking after setting foot on Mars""

          Yes, well, while I want to see someone set foot on Mars, I'd also prefer them to have done all the necessary homework first to minimise the risks as much as possible - I didn't suggest they should rush it.

          It's not as if I'm expecting to kick the bucket in 2029 or whenever. I'm hoping to make it until at least 2030. :p

        2. Andrew Jones 2

          Re: Journey time

          For the same reason people watch Big Brother in the hope there will be a massive fight - people will watch people landing on Mars in the hope there will be tragedies...... (especially if people like Katie Hopkins are on that trip)

    2. MD Rackham

      Re: Journey time

      If anyone actually looked at the Musk presentation data, they'd see that the 80-day transit time is the "best case" scenario with one particular Earth-Mars alignment. Worst case was 150 days, or nearly twice as long.

      And all of that was in support of determining thrust and fuel requirements for the desired payload mass to Mars, which determines the size of the booster, not for the purposes of scheduling how long you need to board your cat for.

      While I'm at it, he also didn't promise 100 passengers to Mars in 2022. The 2022 date is for a completely different mission to Mars (Red Dragon), and he specifically stated in the Q&A that the first test flights of his "spaceship" would have many fewer than 100 people on-board. I would expect that the first flight(s) would have 0 humans on board.

      1. pop_corn

        Re: Journey time

        > "While I'm at it, he also didn't promise 100 passengers to Mars in 2022."

        Careful now, you're letting the facts get in the way of 'good' journalism.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    multiple places

    can't we send Trump and Hilary? Oh, and Farage, and Corbyn/McDonnell the ghosts of Stalin, too?

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: multiple places

      For some strange reason Mrs Clinton's name is actually spelt "Hillary". But definitely a candidate for the B-Ark, along with most of the Senate, House of Representatives and the House of Commons, all the hereditary peers, bishops (of all persuasions).

      Elon: the ship just isn't going to be big enough!

    2. Mike Richards Silver badge

      Re: multiple places

      Dear god no.

      We can't risk that movie trope of rivals becoming lovers through shared adversity. Imagine a planet populated by their offspring!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: multiple places

        "We can't risk that movie trope of rivals becoming lovers through shared adversity. Imagine a planet populated by their offspring!"

        Menopause and ED will sort that out right quick.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: multiple places

      They wouldn't be going on the Heart of Gold - they're listed for the Golgafrincham Ark Fleet, Ship B

      1. quxinot

        Re: multiple places

        Why bother? I can fit a lot more than 100 people in a rocket.

        All we'd need is a liquid oxygen container breach at the appropriate time, and the world would improve dramatically.

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: multiple places

        "They wouldn't be going on the Heart of Gold - they're listed for the Golgafrincham Ark Fleet, Ship B"

        It's a shame so many people get the trope wrong. We ARE the results of the B-Ark reaching it's final destination.

  8. Roger Varley

    Not fair on the rest.

    If I were on that trip, anyone on the poll list would be out of the airlock before we passed Moon orbit!

    1. VinceH
      Alert

      Re: Not fair on the rest.

      My speciality - I've even listed it as one of my skills on LinkedIn - is elevators. I suspect I'd be just as effective in a spaceship.

  9. Dwarf Silver badge
    Joke

    I've got an idea

    Given that there won't be a lot to do when you get there, and asking myself again if NASA actually flew to the moon the first time, etc. left me wondering if there is a cheaper alternative and a money making scheme at the same time.

    I think that for 50% of Musk's price, I cam come up with a scheme where people go to "space" and get all the positives of nobody to talk to, a completely different way to live, etc.

    I plan to buy up an unused piece of land - somewhere, make a large enclosed dome, painted with the correct stars and black background etc.

    The big benefit of my scheme is that I will also provide simulated gravity; simulated atmosphere; electricity; Internet and pizza deliveries once a week.

    Space suits will be required if you venture outside, but they will only have a 20 minute oxygen supply to stop people wandering too far and finding the truth.

    1. Patrician

      Re: I've got an idea

      ..."Given that there won't be a lot to do when you get there ........

      There will be on hell of a lot to do once up there; building a habitat, mining, engineering, prospecting etc. I should imagine that there would be enough to do to occupy 100 colonists 24/7/365 for 10's of years ....

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: I've got an idea

      "The big benefit of my scheme is that I will also provide simulated gravity;"

      If you've managed to simulate 1/3rd gravity while on Earth for the whole dome and the surrounding outside land, then you might as well just take them to Mars anyway, You already invented anti-gravity.

      1. oldcoder

        Re: I've got an idea

        I think he means to "simulate 1 gravity". Not simulate Mars gravity.

    3. oldcoder

      Re: I've got an idea

      All they have to do is step outside at night...

      Or if they have a clock, they can easily check the gravity. (a one meter pendulum takes one second or the next approach)

      A long enough pendulum would reveal that they were on earth. (A Foucoult pendulum rotates once a day - on earth that would be 23 hours 56 minutes and some odd seconds. On Mars that should take about 24 hours 37 minutes and some seconds.)

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: I've got an idea

        "Or if they have a clock, they can easily check the gravity. (a one meter pendulum takes one second or the next approach)"

        I suspect jumping up and down on the spot would be a dead giveaway to roughly test if the gravity was 3 times higher than expected for Mars. KISS :-)

  10. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    All of them?

    What's the crew capacity?

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Devil

      Re: All of them?

      If you avoid taking frivolities like say oxygen, water or food, you can increase the crew capacity considerably.

  11. Dan Wilkie

    That was tough... How the hell can you expect someone to choose between Donald Trump and Piers Morgan?

    1. Len Goddard

      Definitely all of them

      If there isn't room inside, tie them to the outside.

      Actually, tie them to the outside even if there is room inside.

      1. Esme

        Re: Definitely all of them

        use 'em as the heat shield..

      2. pffut

        Re: Definitely all of them

        > Actually, tie them to the outside even if there is room inside.

        That'd actually make 'em useful - keeping the Reavers uninterested.

    2. Roger Varley

      Throw them both out?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      > That was tough... How the hell can you expect someone to choose between Donald Trump and Piers Morgan?

      That poll sorely needed check boxes rather than radio buttons for the choice(s)...

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No option for Katie Hopkins?

    Shame.

    1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese

      Re: No option for Katie Hopkins?

      I came here to suggest her name should be on the list, but you beat me to it. Have an upvote

      1. Martin Summers Silver badge

        Re: No option for Katie Hopkins?

        I came here, suggested her further up before reading further down! Oops. Apologies if I snag your upvotes, she seems a popular choice.

        1. Swarthy Silver badge

          Re: No option for Katie Hopkins?

          Being on the wrong side of the pond, I had to look up this person who seems to be more reviled than Trump and May (at least in this thread). I saw an article of hers in the Daily Mail; while bad, that doesn't completely explain the vitriol. Then I read the article (well, maybe 1/2-2/3 of it).

          Ye Tap-dancing Gods! That woman is a psychopath.

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
            Facepalm

            Re: No option for Katie Hopkins?

            Oh, her!!!! There was me thinking of her who sang Those were the days and wondering what all the fuss was about.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Brexitters

    Brexitters, all 17,000,000 of them.

    1. barstewardsquad
      Joke

      Re: Brexitters

      Brexitters, all 17,000,000 of them.

      Too many of them. Send the Remoaners, there are less of them.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Brexitters

        True - at least if we sent Remainers we could say there was intelligent life on other planets.

      2. Steve K Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Brexitters

        Fewer of them, surely....?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Brexitters

          Shut it, expert.

          1. Steve Knox

            Re: Brexitters

            Shut it, expert.

            That's the most concise summary of the Brexitter/Trumper mentality I've seen so far!

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Brexitters

            yeah, we don't need no f... expaxts on OUR sheep!

        2. muddysteve
          Coat

          Re: Brexitters

          "Fewer of them, surely....?"

          Depends, are Brexitters fatter than Remainers?

          Mine is on the peg next to yours.

    2. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Re: Brexitters

      The Brexits could have left Europe any time they wanted, but they are still here.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Brexitters

        Nah, the rich ones are down in their tax exiles.

        1. Chairo

          Re: Brexitters

          Nah, the rich ones are down in their tax exiles.

          You mean they moved to Ireland?

  14. Horridbloke
    Thumb Up

    Noel Edmonds

    Send Noel Edmonds.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Noel Edmonds

      2 seats right? Noel Edmonds AND Mr Blobby. The rest of his life in a confined space with the monster he unleashed on the world sounds about right, karma-wise.

      1. Lefticus Left
        Devil

        Re: Noel Edmonds

        #poeticfuckingjustice

      2. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Noel Edmonds

        Just what the cosmos ordered...

  15. Spudley

    I wish to complain about your poll.

    It only offered a single-selection radio button. I would like it modified to allow me to pick several of the options.

    Also, why is Carly Fiorina not on the list?

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Agreed: Marissa Mayer might not have saved Yahoo but it was in a mess when she got there. Carly, by contrast, managed to trash a healthy and well-run company before launching herself into politics.

      1. Rich 11 Silver badge

        before launching herself into failing in politics.

        FTFY.

        1. Captain DaFt

          To be fair, she did launch herself into it, like a bug into a windscreen.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No mention of tax-dodging pop twat Bono or his mate Geldof?

    For shame - I'd send 'em both, but without the luxury of putting them in a rocket first.

  17. Simon Harris
    Joke

    There is an HTML bug on the form.

    All those radio buttons should be check boxes.

  18. ArrZarr

    At first, my thoughts of being stuck in a small room with a computer were pretty sunny.

    1440000ms ping however is a bit steep.

    1. DropBear

      That would be irrelevant both for single player gaming and systematic browsing (ie. a handful of sites you visit/read regularly, kept in sync automatically for you - it could even include your Youtube subscriptions if the bandwidth allows). It's only a problem if you're trying to browse randomly...

  19. @thecoda
    Go

    How About...

    Michael Gove and Donald Rumsfeld?

    1. You aint sin me, roit Silver badge

      Re: How About...

      Michael Gove and Boris Johnson?

      Mars does have a chilly atmosphere...

  20. Mage Silver badge

    Needed tick boxes not radio buttons.

    Send all of those on the list?

    Note: Antarctic + surgery on all of them first, including all reproductive parts (for safety).

    Remove every part not essential.

  21. Lobrau

    No option to put all those the people in the poll onto the tanker spacecraft and fire it towards the Sun instead of Mars?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Before I give an answer, what's the current population figures for triple-breasted women on Mars?

  23. Simon Harris

    Survival.

    The more I read of these Mars mass-colonisation ships, the more I am reminded of John Wyndham's short story Survival (printed in The Seeds of Time).

    1. dbayly
      Go

      Re: Survival.

      Reminds me of Cyril Kornbluths "marching Morons"

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Marching_Morons

      Wonder story that appeals to all BOFHs and ananbes

  24. alain williams Silver badge

    Stock photos ...

    For your next pic of a man sitting on Mars, choose an image where the outline of the mountains is not blurred by a haze in an atmosphere.

    Getting a good pic, however, might push the price of the image up a bit. Maybe one thing that Mr Musk's adventurers could export back here ?

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    The Kardashian sisters. If they take their beaus with them so much the better.

    Buh-bye Kimmie!

  26. sjsmoto

    I think sending people to live on Mars is a totally stupid idea. The moon is only about 3 days away - 3 DAYS! Set up a permanent base there, then have commercial flights. (Next thing you know, you'll have a Starbucks.)

    But I know, Mars is sexier. Instead of having to wear a space suit all of the time you're walking about on gray powder, you can be excited walking around in a space suit on red powder.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No idea why...

      you got a downvote. So have an upvote. Honestly, if this was done for say the moon first (just to prove the launch capability) then it would make a lot more sense.

      Prove you can get a habitat of some form, and please have people at least partially within distance for a rescue (I'd assume you'd have more than one craft, as your running a business right? It won't make much on low volume, so the more the better in the long run, as with the Falcon9 and beyond etc).

      1. DJ Smiley

        Re: No idea why...

        I'm wondering if we ignore the moon bceause the dust is so dangerous? You'd basically never be able to take anything from outside inside, due to all the cancer causing stuff.

        I'm presuming Mars' dust is actually safer.

  27. Gobhicks

    Mars is too good for them

    I wouldn't send those people to Mars. Mars doesn't deserve that. I'd just fire them off into deep space. And never mind about radiation shielding.

  28. Alister

    I didn't vote for Trump in the poll, but only because by 2022 it'll be far too late, the damage will have been done, either by him or Clinton. I have no faith that either will make a fit President of the USA.

    Unfortunately, I could happily fill all 100 places with people who I feel the Earth would be better without, and probably a few more ship's worth besides...

  29. David Pollard

    Tony Blair?

    Given his experience as a peacemaker he would be a good choice to include in case there is a need for negotiations with aliens.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Tony Blair?

      I don't think he's the man for negotiating with aliens, unless you have a death-wish. Middle Eastern Peace Envoy, FFS...you can barely fit any more war into the space allowed, and he personally started one.

  30. Alistair
    Coat

    Well.

    I can see that DJT's publicity stunt is paying off.

    Personally.

    I'd want to put someone like the the jerk MY on there in a locked room with the crazy fellow from Rwanda that the ICJ (has/had) put on trial. They'd make for *great* entertainment.

    You *will* note that I don't use names for the nutbar media attention seekers, even that Klutch of K folks that seem to be so popular on this side of the pond.

  31. danR2

    Don't forget to pack the Kool-Aid.

    The Reverend Jim Jones had nothing on Elon.

  32. graeme leggett

    From the responses to the poll

    The reintroduction of ostracism to our political system is way overdue.

    Possibly with a touch of defenestration along the way.

    1. Francis Boyle

      Defenestration - no way

      None of these people deserve not to have windows on their machines.

  33. 0laf
    Flame

    Missed opportunity

    Take those 98 off and fill the bugger with the z-listers and celebrity mouth-breathers from the Daily Mail sidebar of shame.

    This flight can be done considerably cheaper since there is no need to bother with retrobraking when the get there. Or indeed an reason to point them at Mars or any other planet we might actually like. Just give the fucker enough velocity to exit the solar system.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Missed opportunity

      "This flight can be done considerably cheaper since there is no need to bother with retrobraking when the get there."

      I would strongly recommend lithobraking just to make absolutely sure there's no chance of any sort of slingshot manoeuvre.

  34. macaroo

    Please take my first ex wife. It will be a blessing for humanity left on mother Earth.

    1. ultrastarx1

      hmpf, there are more annoying things in my life..

      Peppa Pig

      My ex also needs to move out, so i get dibs on the EXtra space, do pregnant women count as 1 space?

      Jack Straw

      The cast, producers, writers, hell anyone to do with eastenders, hoping 1 intelligent life form counts!

  35. Stevie

    Bah!

    I trust we are screening the applicants for Chicken Pox? We don't want to kill off all the native Martians when we get there.

  36. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Larry Ellison and Steve Balmer

    Because it'd be nice to watch what happens when those two are locked in a confined space for any length of time.

    1. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Larry Ellison and Steve Balmer

      Will there be a shipment of four-legged office furniture (aka chairs) also be sent with?

  37. Crazy Operations Guy
    Coat

    Too many terrible people I'd like to send.

    I'd rather take the trip myself so as to get away from them for at least a little while. Send enough resources for a couple people to live indefinitely and they wouldn't need to send a return ship.

    //Mine's the one with the "Hermits United Club" membership card in the pocket.

  38. Arty Effem

    Survival

    I'm perfectly confident that very few of Elon's passengers will die on Mars; most will have been murdered long before they arrive.

  39. Mr_Pitiful

    Someone is missing a chance here

    Bear Grylls - Celebrity Survival Special - The Mars Adventure

    We could start with.....

    <1> Paris Hilton

    Because she likes flying a lot!

    I Patient this idea in the name of The Register for a nominal 40% of the royalties!

    (c) 2016 ME

    and please make sure the smug git is also sent there!

  40. Leeroy

    Kanye

    He can take his Mrs as well!

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No. No I was not.

    Last thing I want is a one way trip into space. I can see enough from here. A return? Yes, that is amazing.

    Destroying something is not hard. Creating something is an art. :)

  42. Simon Harris
    Joke

    The Pub Landlord

    Not because I have anything against him, but at least then there would be a Mars Bar.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The Pub Landlord

      It'd go bankrupt...no atmosphere to speak of.

      /coat

  43. gymychoo

    Shocked!

    DT in the lead! I can scarcely believe it! I expect he would try to the place anyway, if he hasn't done so already.

  44. gymychoo

    NORKS

    I'm also very surprised Kim Jong Un hasn't signed up to measure up for another penal colony, although there is probably more fun things to do on Mars than in North Korea and better internet.

  45. Jonathan Richards 1 Silver badge
    Go

    OK, I'll bite

    Quite seriously, Bashar al-Assad plus any one of his best mates that he chooses to take with him.

  46. x 7

    take an idea from British colonial history..........populate Mars with criminals from the death-row wings. They'd be likely to volunteer. You save on prison costs. And if a ship gets wrecked it wouldn't really matter.

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!!!

    Of Mars, obviously.

    1. texadactyl

      Re: TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!!!!

      Unfair to the little green ladies & gentlemen! (:

  48. M7S

    Stephen Fry

    He'd regard it as a good thing and so would we

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lets Crowd source

    a bigger spacecraft, then we could send all the useless twats and OT's to Mars.

    Def: Oxygen Taker. A person who is so useless that their merely breathing steals vital oxygen from the planet.

  50. ChubbyBehemoth
    Alert

    Not enough space for all even if freeze dried!!!

    Considering the increasing list of people to send off to Mars, the grim truth is obvious. They couldn't even put them on the ship even in powdered form. Nay,.. the only way to get rid of all those pesky buggers is to sign on for the trip and hope for the best of it. Considering the mass insanity that seems to plague this world, Brexit, Trump for president with a chance to actually win it, pope in Azerbaijan, Microsoft doing Linux support.

    I'll take the 6000 chest X-rays! I'll be your fertilizer, soylent-green or whatever! Just get me off this rock!!!

  51. macjules Silver badge
    Coat

    And what about ...

    Favourite topic du semaine: Heidi Powell

    1. Francis Boyle

      So heidipowell.mars

      Problem solved!

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re. shielding

    Have a few ideas here, not least a modification of simple now-redundant MRI LHe cooled magnets which are being replaced with MgB2 cryogen free ones.

    The advantage here of using NbTi (old) technology is that any tendency of the magnets to quench which is a real annoyance and could be a serious risk en route, is mitigated with a used magnet.

    They do not "wear out" and if they fail the initial QA test power-up once in orbit then they get used for counterweight/etc.

    Also don't forget that technology has moved on a lot since Apollo, 25 tons can be launched with SLS or Dragon capsule for a lot less than people think.

    Refurbished external tanks filled with uhm, "organic waste" can provide a convenient meteor-proof casing for the actual flight hardware as discussed by Zubrin et al.

  53. Sil

    When you're incapable of finding the cause of a FalconX explosion with any level of certainty, planning to go to mars in 2022 seems such a joke. Just like thinking you can eradicate all illnesses with 3 bn by 2100.

  54. texadactyl

    The choice was obvious

    I was heartened by the fact that Trump won the sweepstakes. Hopefully, his departure is compulsory. It would have been nice if they could leave NOW or, at least, sometime before November 8 (US elections). No, I am not a Hillary fan-boy; I just cannot imagine having to put up with Reality TV addresses from a supposed worldly leader (Hint: he's not!).

    Second place honors should have gone to Ted Cruz, senator from my home state who truly believes that obstruction of congressional productivity is his primary function.

  55. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Tony Blair

    He'll be able to warn us if the Martians are going to attack (within 45 minutes)

  56. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Tony Blair

    A World-class statesman to lead the colony - After bringing peace and harmony to the Middle East, the Earth has no challenges left for him

  57. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Tony Blair

    A pretty straight sort of guy and all round good(?) egg

  58. Tom 64
    Pint

    Effective camouflage

    Given that most of Trump is as orange as the martian dunes, it would be a great place for him to get lost. Preferably permanently.

  59. Chris Tierney

    Send Trump?

    We would probably end up with a great big bloody wall on Mars before he gives up and returns to Earth. However given that he doesn't pay income tax then his absence might be good for the global economy.

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I won't be original

    I'd select Blair and Brown, Cameron and May, put them in one room. Now, that sorts ONE place. As to the other... well, choose a random one walking the corridor. Intrepid explorers, I salute you! Good luck and good riddance!

  61. Gotno iShit Wantno iShit

    I vote for the seats to go to Chris Evans and a volunteer armed for the purpose of putting a few bullets through the head of Chris Evans once at Mars. Because 54.6 million km is not far enough away for that loud mouthed bell end.

  62. Daniel B.
    Joke

    Trump to Mars?

    I'd think the Martians would see that as a war crime. Can't anyone think about the Martians?

  63. Conundrum1885

    Re. radiation

    Hi, in fact it turns out humans can survive *much* higher levels than is currently accepted.

    In fact certain people (screened by using blood samples) can tolerate 2-3* the "lethal" level for most and this was proved recently by folks at Tchernobyl who risked their lives to save others.

    The brave scientists that took samples of the "Elephant's Foot" seem to have suffered few if any ill effects because the dose was fractionated, maybe what we need to be doing is finding out why this makes a difference in some but not others.

    Sure there are limits but between anti-radiation drugs that are not yet FDA approved and other advances such as MgB2 based shielding on the "safe room" most of the problems can be mitigated.

    We should be considering testing this on volunteers as folks undergoing routine radiotherapy would gladly take a chance of fewer unwanted side effects if it helps us advance scientific knowledge.

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