back to article Badda-Bing, badda-doom: Microsoft search guru heads up giant's new AI boffinry unit

With all the hype buzz surrounding artificial intelligence right now, Microsoft has decided to repurpose its long-established Microsoft Research division into a new group focused chiefly on AI development. The newly formed Microsoft AI and Research Group brings together more than 5,000 computer scientists and engineers, with a …

  1. inmypjs Silver badge

    The way forward

    Having demonstrated time and time again how little real intelligence they have perhaps they see this artificial stuff as their future.......

  2. Terry 6 Silver badge

    .....played a major part in the development of Microsoft's Bing platform

    So pretty much doomed to failure then.

  3. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    Microsoft wants to be like Google

    Why does the song from the Jungle Book keep coming to mind?

    I wanna be like you....

    A plague on both their homes.

    No, I don't want to buy a Lawnmower. I've just moved into a 4ft floor apartment.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Microsoft wants to be like Google

      No, I don't want to buy a Lawnmower. I've just moved into a 4ft floor apartment.

      "No, no, it's correct, our records show you also ordered shag carpet. Would you like extended warranty with that land mower, Sir?"

      Well, it's Microsoft AI, what did you expect?

  4. 101

    I Love Big Brother, He is My Friend

    5,000 computer scientists working day and night to find the most effective ways to monitor, collect, share and sell my every electronic utterance. Oh Goodie!

    1. Mark 85

      Re: I Love Big Brother, He is My Friend

      Aha.... I was going to ask about this: "democratize AI for every person and organization," but your post puts it all in perspective.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I Love Big Brother, He is My Friend

        If someone from the US tells you, who lives in a faraway land (that voters don't care about) that "democratization" is about to happen, you know there will be something solid coming down the chimney stack, like Bad Santa abseiling a heavy protein-laden digesto-pellet.

        Same here, I reckon.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I Love Big Brother, He is My Friend

      most effective ways to monitor, collect, share and sell my every electronic utterance

      It's time someone did. My wife doesn't.


  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Someone there should read the James P. Hogan - The Two Faces of Tomorrow classic story about AI and apply a little thought to what they are trying to do.

    What they are describing is very much like the AI results at the start of the story.

  6. Alistair

    So microsoft's new platform :


    BingAi: Hallo. What can I do for you today.

    User: I need to get to work at (address)

    BingAi: Your credit score is sufficient to take out a $45,000 loan to buy (ADVERTISER) car model (HOTTICKET). Tap here to buy.

    User: No, I have a car I just need directions

    BingAi: We have found 84 devices on sale on 8 different marketing platforms that can provide directions. The most popular of these is (ADVERTISER) model (JUNK+1) at $275.00 Tap here to purchase.

    User: No, just look up the directions and give me a map on my phone dammit.

    BingAi: Your phone is 4 months old! You need to update your phone, We've found 11 Models of phone that have many improvements. We suggest (ADVERTISER) model. Tap here to buy.




  7. Sebastian A

    Shouldn't microsoft focus on utilising some traditional intelligence before going on some hopeless quest to develop the artifical variety?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Sebastian A - too true. How would MS (particularly) and Google recognise intelligence even if they somehow managed to create it when they haven;t much themselves?

      I have ethical reservations regarding the field of AI (I'm not unthinkingly anti, mind, just have reservations), but if there's one thing that'd make me immediately distrustful of an AI it'd be knowing that it was created by MS or Google. Which'd be rather unfair on the AI itself, but heck - see why I have ethical reservations?

      That said - I do want an Aineko!

  8. Robert Moore

    Microsoft AI

    I just don't see the market. Who really needs an Autistic AI with Tourettes and an IQ of 14?

    My estimation of the AI Microsoft might produce is based on my recent experiences with Windows 10.

    1. a_yank_lurker

      Re: Microsoft AI

      "IQ of 14" might be a little high. Slurp trying AI might give Congress critters a run to see who is best a subtracting from the sum total of human knowledge.

  9. Andy Non Silver badge


    <<When hearing of "the world's most powerful AI supercomputer," we can't help thinking of Douglas Adams, and wondering if the system will take seven and a half million years to show any results.>>

    But it might say "42" after a few patches.

    1. Sebastian A

      Re: 41

      Depends if they use any original Pentium chips.

    2. Nolveys

      Re: 41

      After processing for seven and one half million years the great BingAI spoke. It said:

      "It looks like you're writing a letter."

  10. Dwarf

    Back to basics

    How about they start again and focus on making an OS that works properly before they set their sights on something more complicated. After all, it's difficult to get credibility when the track record is poor.

    I've got no interest in any AI, I'll stick to the real thing thanks.

  11. arctic_haze

    Artificial intelligence created by artificial intelligence

    I've just read another Register story about a user who could not switch on her PC but still got a job as an "IT expert".

    Now, I have a lurking fear I know where she got the job.

  12. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Be Careful out there in CyberSpace. IT is a Virtual Mind Field and Sp00ky AI Minefield.

    Regarding a Microsoft project wanting to be like a Google program ...... which takes no prisoners?

    From: XXXXXXXX

    Subject: An Engaging Competition or Emergent Opposition, or Both and Something Else Too and Beautifully Creative

    Date: 30 January 2016 at 09:46:55 GMT


    Hi, Google DeepMinded,

    Not so much a CV, more an AIMission Statement with tried and tested roadmaps to/from Remote Virtual Command and Control of Earthed SCADA Systems …….

    Search Engine Optimisation v2.0 [and above] is surely logically a Future Product Placements Engine …… Advanced Intelligence Resource with Immaculate Source, with the likes of a Google not searching for answers, both popular and controversial, but providing them with streams of supporting evidence.

    Such would be akin to the Private Mentoring with Pirated Monitoring of Future Events with AIDerivative Programming for Projects/Semi-Autonomous, Self-Actualisation of Virtual Realities.

    It is difficult, and maybe even impossible, to see or imagine a defence against such in an attacking configuration.



  13. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Future Thought Plagiarism .... Great Minds Thinking Alike or Fools Seldom Differing?

    The newly formed Microsoft AI and Research Group brings together more than 5,000 computer scientists and engineers, with a mission to "democratize AI for every person and organization," whatever that means.


    Brace yourself for the democratization of AI. It’s a movement that might eventually include millions of people — and, some say, billions. …. A startup called Bonsai and an emerging class of companies with the same idea say yes. …. But the bigger story is how Bonsai fits into the movement to put AI into the hands of people who have not had specific training in it. We can expect higher-level tools to become increasingly powerful and, ultimately, ubiquitous. Will we really get to the point where every human in the world trains and uses AI? Put it this way: a lot of smart money is betting on it. ….

    What could possibly go wrong…. putting powerful tools in the hands of folk with no specific training and zero experience?

    Seems like a surefire every which way bet to lose a helluva lot of smart money.

  14. cambsukguy

    I, for one, welcome our new AI overlords

    Just trying to be on the winning side.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: I, for one, welcome our new AI overlords

      That is not a stupid move, cambsukguy, and a smart ploy to play and play to employ. Bravo.

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