back to article We live in a world where a 'Hamdog' burger hybrid is patented

Rejoice! The eternal dilemma of whether to have a hot dog or a burger has now been answered. At last barbecue lovers can unshackle themselves from the tyranny of which under-cooked meat product to consume and have both, together, at once. Yes the problem that never needed solving has been solved. In what might be considered …

  1. hplasm
    Holmes

    Hamdogs-

    10000000% * better patent than any software patent.

    * I know, I know...

    1. John G Imrie

      * I know, I know...

      Actually you can quite legitimately say something is 10000000% better than something else.

      200% better is twice as good

      10000% better is 10 times as good

      etc.

      Or have I missed something and I'm barking up the wrong tree again.

      1. Horridbloke

        Re: * I know, I know...

        200% better is three times as good.

        10000% better is a hundred and one times as good.

        1. Danny 14 Silver badge

          Re: * I know, I know...

          Million percent better would be a sausage onna-stick. And thats cutting me own throat good.

          1. x 7

            Re: * I know, I know...

            "Million percent better would be a sausage onna-stick. And thats cutting me own throat good."

            If you're suggesting that's an original idea, you're wrong. I've seen dog's dicks on sticks at several festivals.

          2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: * I know, I know...

            "Million percent better would be a sausage onna-stick. And thats cutting me own throat good."

            Onna-stick? You can copy the original and patent that as "on a mobile device"

    2. Captain DaFt

      Re: Hamdogs-

      Eh, prior art from the noughties.

    3. Spudley

      Re: Hamdogs-

      So the next obvious thing is to make a few additional patents for the same thing, but "with mustard" and "with ketchup".

      And then demand royalties from the original inventor when he tries to use said condiments.

      Yep. That would be where it starts really looking like the software industry.

      More seriously though, I was under the impression that food recipes were explicitly not patentable. How is this not a recipe?

  2. JetSetJim Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Oz patents

    > Janine Allis told me that it was impossible to patent.

    Hmm - obviously not impossible to patent, but certainly impossible to defend it - more likely she misspoke. Perhaps Janine was not aware that the wheel was also patented in Australia, leading me to believe that the Oz patent examiners either have a healthy sense of humour, or are as useless (if not more so) than the US ones (and others, no doubt).

    1. Isileth

      Re: Oz patents

      Well, it's actually a U.S. patent - https://www.google.com/patents/USD584478

      Not that I think that's any better...

      1. Eddy Ito
        Trollface

        Re: Oz patents

        Meh, it's a design patent. Nice to see he got around Apple's rounded corners by putting the round bit in the middle.

  3. TRT Silver badge

    Huh?

    How do you even eat that? Bite the dog ends off and make it round like a burger? Bite the burger wings off and eat it like a hotdog? Mind you, it's given me an idea... split the top of a burger bun down and drop a sausage in the cut.

    1. JetSetJim Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Huh?

      This may well spawn their advertising campaign for them, but the folks at Cadburys may want to have words

    2. Lotaresco
      Coat

      Re: Huh?

      "drop a sausage in the cut."

      I had to read that more than once.

  4. Locky

    Bun?

    That's a bread cake

    'Av it

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Bun?

      It's a barmcake, you shandy drinking southerner.

      1. Thomas Whipp

        Re: Bun?

        are you sure its not a stottie?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Quick...

    ...patent the Hotburger!

    A hotdog split in half with a burger in the middle.

    1. hplasm
      Happy

      Re: Quick...

      Poke a hole in the burger and push the hotdog into it.

      The Blackholedogger.

      Bun may need to be 4 Dimensional...

      1. Jabber 44

        Re: Quick...

        I think you missed a trick - and I'm off to the patent office..

        The Blackholedogger needs some black pudding inserted into the hole...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Quick...

          The Blackholedogger needs some black pudding inserted into the hole...

          Sounds like something that goes on in a lay-by, reportedly with an audience of strangers each holding their sausage with no bun.

      2. Robert Helpmann??
        Childcatcher

        Re: Quick...

        Don't over-think it. Place all ingredients in a blender and puree. Roll in a ball, batter and deep fry. Problem solved*. Additional patents need to be filed for other ingredient combinations (e.g pizza & doughnuts, beer & pretzels, broccoli &... perhaps I will have to reconsider this one...).

        * All problems may be solved in a similar manner.

        1. A K Stiles
          Joke

          Re: Quick...

          I dub thee Robert MacHelpMaBob and claim my Scottish Five pound note! (made of grease-absorbing paper, not this weird plastic stuff their rolling out in the south.)

          1. Dave 126 Silver badge

            More recipes here:

            http://thatiswhyyourefat.tumblr.com/

            Including my favourite*, the Turtle Burger ( 5 sausages to creates the legs and head, burger for the body, whole lot wrapped in cheese and bacon (to emulate the texture of the shell) and deep fried.

            *favourite in principal, I haven't replicated such a work of genius.

          2. A K Stiles
            Coat

            Re: Quick...

            **GAAAHHH!!!** I'll hand in my grammar-police badge on my way out!

            "...plastic stuff they're rolling out..."

          3. David 30

            Re: Quick...

            Erm, you know they've been churning out the plastics in Scotland for about a year and a half?

            1. A K Stiles

              Re: Quick...

              I didn't - all the ones I got in change during my trip last month were ratty bits of barely-legible paper that appeared to have been in regular use as a makeshift beer-mat for a leaky pint of Tennants!

              <edit> quick check of t'webs suggests it was a pilot run last year by Clydesdale ahead of full release now, with RBS and BOS in November 2016 and 2015 respectively, which explains why they weren't more prevalant </edit>

    2. Olius

      Re: Quick...

      You don't even have to split the hotdog in half all the way - just enough to slot the burger on to the end.

      Now, which end would you start eating one of those eh?

  6. 0laf Silver badge
    Pint

    ?

    Cockburger

    How appealing

  7. davidp231

    Needs more bacon...

  8. magickmark
    Windows

    Dogburger

    That is all...

  9. adam payne

    A bacon hamdog please.

  10. David Harper 1

    Give that man a Nobel prize

    Probably the chemistry one, since Alfred didn't leave money for a Nobel Prize in Cookery.

  11. Luke Worm

    News?

    Apparently this patent was granted in 2009, seven years ago. Why is it news now?

    https://www.google.com/patents/USD584478

    1. wikkity

      Re: News?

      Because they have just started to make and sell them.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    patent

    I think I will make a 'dogham' burger instead

  13. Huns n Hoses

    Hamdog?

    If hamburgers or hot dogs are why you go outside to BBQ then you clearly are from the northern hemisphere...

    1. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: Hamdog?

      No we go outside a while after the hamdogburger has been BBQed as the toilet indoors has a queue.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's been done before.. and better

    Americans have been doing proper dog-burgers for many years. You split the dog lengthwise and put it on top of the burger.

    http://imgur.com/a/Z9xcI

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Patent attorney here...

    Let's just clarify - the guy obtained a *registered design* (confusingly called a 'design patent' in the US) for his 'hamdog' burger bun.

    Details: https://www.google.com/patents/USD584478

  16. hplasm
    Coat

    Can't spell?

    Tip:

    Don't eat the Bogburger.

    1. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: Can't spell?

      or enter a dogsnorkling competition!

  17. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    I bet Albert Einstein never had to deal with applications like that when he worked as a clerk in the patent office in Switzerland.

    1. Spudley

      > I bet Albert Einstein never had to deal with applications like that when he worked as a clerk in the patent office in Switzerland.

      Maybe he did. Maybe that's what drove him to quit and get into physics instead.

  18. x 7

    I always thought hamdogs were the flappy chewy bits on a lady's front bottom.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I suspect he patented the bun / moulding process

  20. Lotaresco

    Another use for that bun

    If anyone wants to make an Adorable Octopus sandwich that bun is going to be the ideal shape. It has pockets for its cute little wings.

  21. h 6

    Er, Barbecue?

    Barbecue is pulled pork smoked for 8 or more hours and served with mustard sauce. Not burgers and dogs.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Er, Barbecue?

      Barbecue is a cooking apparatus, usually found outdoors, heated by charcoal, wood, or some sort of petroleum gas.

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

        Re: Er, Barbecue?

        Barbecue is a cooking apparatus, usually found outdoors, heated by charcoal, wood, or some sort of petroleum gas.

        Er, the public barbecues in the Huon Valley of southern Tasmania run on electricity. And they are free. You just have to press a button once every 20 minutes.

  22. Herby
    Joke

    Begs the question...

    Mustard (hot dog part), or Ketchup (hamburger part).

    Now that IS a dilemma...

  23. 1Rafayal

    Didnt KFC already do this with the Double Down Dog?

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    How did an Australian think this up before an American?

    Surely the percentage of obese Americans is greater than that of obese Aussies, and since this is obviously targeted at fatties, I'm ashamed for my country that we're falling behind in the race for ways to increase your waist size.

    Clearly we're too focused on building walls and standing up during a national anthem to continue working toward the ultimate national goal of reaching an average cholesterol level of 1000!

  25. NanoMeter

    I will patent the Sausage-Vag

    Sausage formed like you know what and the bread formed like the other thing you know what.

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