back to article Naked, drunken Swede assaults chicken shed after 60th birthday

A Malmo man is facing paying thousands of kronor in damages after attending a friend’s 60th birthday party and ending up crawling naked and bleeding from an elderly woman’s hen house. The elderly poultry rearer in Ikea hometown Älmhult assumed her prize layers were under attack from a marauding fox after a series of noises …

  1. Dwarf Silver badge
    Joke

    Hang over cure

    Its simple, He just pre-programmed to seek out Bacon and Egg - the well known hang over cure.

    1. Alister

      Re: Hang over cure

      Yep, thank God she didn't have a pig pen as well...

  2. FIA Silver badge

    and carted him to the nearest thing they had to a drunk tank in village of just 50 souls.

    Souls? Has the village since sunk??

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Angel

      Not so many centuries ago the peasants were counted by their souls, as if that were the most important part!

  3. Lotaresco

    What the owner saw

    "she saw a naked, blood-soaked human form emerging from the eggery"

    Presumably she was shocked to see him carrying the last chicken in the shop shed.

  4. Sir Barry

    Sigh

    Colonel Sanders has really let himself go...

    1. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

      Re: Sigh

      A new twist on "finger lickin' good" - Swedish Raw Chicken.

  5. x 7

    always wondered where chicken pox came from. Bloody swedes

  6. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge
    Coat

    He's a bad egg

    And no mistake...

    Mines the one with Charlie and chocolate factory in the pocket....

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lucky he didn't batter any of the chickens or he'd have been layable for a larger fine.

    1. Martin Summers Silver badge

      To be honest I thought the fine was rather poultry as it is.

      1. Swarthy Silver badge
        Coat

        That was just fowl.

        1. Korev Silver badge
          Coat

          I thought it was eggcellent

  8. alain williams Silver badge

    When in court ...

    how did he explain what he did to the chickens to the beak ...

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: When in court ...

      "Sorry your Honour, I was a bit of a cock that night"

  9. M7S
    Linux

    Just a fine, a lucky escape?

    At least he got away without having to do any bird,

    then again, given the lack of recollection and the state in which he was found, maybe he did...

    Icon as one has to hope for small mercies.

  10. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

    I just think..

    .. Google screwed up when translating "hen party"

    :)

  11. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Joke

    B̶i̶r̶t̶h̶d̶a̶y̶ Hen Party

    He must have imagined himself to be the male stripper

  12. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

    what a clucking mistake, wrong hen house

    resident rooster probably was not impressed either...

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    CNN warned about the dangers of this a few days ago.

    I guess this guy was having one last fling before settling into a life of salmonella-free righteousness?

    http://www.cnn.com/2016/09/16/health/cdc-chicken-salmonella-trnd/index.html

    (Tux--because he probably had friends in that coop.)

  14. Christoph

    He really had egg on his face

    (as title)

  15. Christoph

    The yolk's on him

    He'll have to shell out a lot of money

  16. Scott Pedigo
    Coat

    The Old Joke...

    Someone asked him if he'd ever seen an eggplant, after he got drunk.

    1. Paul Woodhouse

      Re: The Old Joke...

      no such thing as an Eggplant over 'ere son... they're called Aubergines...

  17. Mr Dogshit
    Headmaster

    "water sinks"

    What are "water sinks"? Are they what chickens do the washing up in?

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: "water sinks"

      Think "sink and source". So ... Where water goes to evaporate, obviously! Maybe a swamp-cooler?

      Actually, probably a mistranslation of "wet sink", as opposed to "dry sink". I have a dry sink in my henhouse. I use it to mix their feed, and to temporarily store egg baskets so they can't be knocked over. One of the feral cats sleeps in it at night.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmm?

    multiple chucks fleeing the scene?

    1. find users who cut cat tail

      Re: Hmm?

      The image of multiple Chucks fleeing the scene was too strong. Need another beer...

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: Hmm?

      For "chucks" read "chooks". Closest thing to an actual name that my chickens ever get. Can call 'em by saying "chook-chook-chook ..." in a quiet tone of voice.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The answer to the old question

    Why did the chicken crossed the street..?

    1. Robert Moore
      Joke

      Re: The answer to the old question

      > Why did the chicken crossed the street..?

      Because it was stapled to the punk rockers head.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He was told it was a sauna full of birds

    Probably an eggageration.

  21. Adam 1

    aw come on

    Who hasn't been there...

  22. magickmark
    Coat

    Clucking Hell!

    Well this seems an appropriate response..

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGs6TDeXo8E

    Mine's the one with the feathers in the pockets

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