back to article Lack of Hurd mentality at Oracle OpenWorld: Co-CEO's cloud claims fall flat live on stage

Once again, Oracle's co-CEO Mark Hurd was in a prognosticative mood during his OpenWorld keynote, but the crowd of attendees wasn't buying it. As he did last year, Hurd made some predictions as to where the industry was going on cloud computing by the year 2025, including that two companies would control 80 per cent of the …

  1. SteveCarr
    FAIL

    Doh!

    Someone will be finding a pink slip in their pay envelope......

    1. Dazed and Confused
      Facepalm

      Re: Doh!

      Asking the audience? That's like asking the public, he should discuss this plan with David Cameron.

      1. P. Lee

        Re: Doh!

        Except oracle isn't supposed to be run "for the people."

        Nevertheless, I name thee, "Hurdy McHurdface,"

        And he deserves it. Common sense seems to have lost against the koolaid.

        1. PNGuinn
          Happy

          Re: Doh!

          Oh I don't know ....

          .... the audience seems to have had an attack of common sense.

          Oops.

          Just drop yer 'aiches an' 'av a couple o' cold t's an' it'll be fine ....

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Doh!

        "CEOs who want to keep their jobs will have to go to the cloud, Hurd predicted, since it's the fastest way to cut costs and grow revenues. The average CEO lasts 18 quarters in the job, and 40 per cent of them are fired in the first 18 months, he said, because they can't grasp this."

        I suspect CEOs who put all their eggs in one basket will probably take the company down with them.

        1. Nolveys

          Re: Doh!

          I suspect CEOs who put all their eggs in one basket will probably take the company down with them.

          "Since you took over as CEO this company has lost 87% of its value, the DOJ has brought no less than thirty six charges against us, employee suicide rates have gone up by 862% and there has been a mob of over 1700 people outside our headquarters that have been protesting against you specifically for over three months! You're fired! Take your $207 million in severance and get out!"

          1. Dazed and Confused
            Trollface

            Re: $207 million

            > Take your $207 million in severance and get out!"

            Hey, I can live with that :-)

  2. Bob Vistakin
    Facepalm

    Too little too late

    First it's getting its ass handed to it on a plate by Google in court after chucking its weight around, now its blabbing its going from zero market share to toppling AWS the leader in front of a live audience capable of telling it like it really is.

    Here's humble Mr Ellisons answer to Steve Ballmer ridiculing the iPhone. This is why you have zero market share, asshole, and watching your desperate scramble to catch up is hilarious.

  3. eswan

    "There are a bunch of funny people out there," he remarked as the numbers came in.

    "Yesssss. Very, very funny people." he repeated, pressing a small red button on the podium.

    "Very funny people. Ha, ha.... ha." as ominous clacks and clunks came from the auditorium exits.

  4. rolypoly

    Can't add up

    So, the poll adds up to 101%...

    1. cd

      Re: Can't add up

      Cloud math is different.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Can't add up

        "Cloud math is different."

        Cloud === Vapour

  5. Youngone Silver badge

    What's he for?

    I had a quick look on Wikipedia to see what Mark Hurd had done, and it looked to me like he made some shareholders a bit richer by sacking some of the workers then sexually harassed someone.

    I wouldn't listen to any advise he might give about tech, I'm not sure he even understands any of it.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oracle

    As usual, full of shit & overstated claims, and when the numbers don't add up they blame the clients

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maintenance?

    20% ... yep that sounds like a number picked out of a C-exec's ***

    Perhaps RBS agreed to reduce maintenance to 20% before their massive failures in June last year.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I bet

    he uses "leverage" as a verb and says "reach out to me" instead of "ask me"

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ... and when he needs help he's probably "leaning on somebody".

    But he's taken that one too litterally and ended up with a sexual harassment charge...

  10. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Next time, maybe he should finish with a song.

  11. clickbg

    I worked at HP during his time as CEO.

    He was so good at it that when he left most of the HP professional workforce was gone. We used to call him Mark Turd.

    Nothing that this man says will ever happen, he is a cheat and knows nothing about technology.

    With him its all about little savings that look good on paper, but are devastating in reality.

    Why HP failed: Carly, Turd, Leo.

    Note: Meg actually had some good ideas, but by the time she got to be CEO HP was already dead.

    1. Paul 25

      It never stops astonishing me...

      the way terrible execs seem to just keep going from one company to another screwing things up.

      1. Julz Silver badge

        Re: It never stops astonishing me...

        Sir Peter Leahy Bonfield, arch example of type. Same useless failing strategies applied to two of UK's leading tech companies one after another. Leading to misery for his workforce and a peerage for himself.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It never stops astonishing me...

        The trick is to never-ever admit to any wrongdoing or fault. Sounds simple, but most of us have a natural reflex called conscience.

        But rest assured - it's not just execs that move around from company to company like a Grass Hopper plague (they usually bring their buddies along).

        I know plenty of "corporate passengers" that do the same in the mid-management level. The difference between the Grass Hoppers and the Corporate Passengers is that the Grass Hoppers are so greedy they consume as much and fast as possible even to the detriment of the company. The Corporate Passengers just try to go as long as possible for their incompetence to go unnoticed and hope for a redundancy payout at the end.

        And finally there are the guys on Golden Parachutes who get put on "Special Projects". They're essentially dead weight but they've been around since the beginning and no manager wants to make the unpopular decision to let them go. That's like one of those lottery wins where you don't get a lump sum, but about 10.000$ each week for the rest of your life. - Or until the company finally wants to hand out a massive separation payment.

  12. Tom_

    Can't decide...

    ...whether to do a wisdom of the Hurd pun or a thundering Hurd pun.

  13. Miss Lincolnshire

    Turdy McTurdface

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fratboy

    Fratboy attitude finally catches up with him. We're unimpressed.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pharse of th day

    Empty Suit

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