Verizon tipped to buy Yahoo! for US$5bn

Markets are bracing for a Monday puzzle: why on earth does Verizon think it is worth spending US$5bn on Yahoo!? Financial news outlets are alive with people-familiar-with-discussions-fed reports that Verizon and Yahoo! have stopped flirting with anybody else and will soon announce that each has a nice new toothbrush in the …

[Kurt Meyer]

Verizon's very special brand of maths

“make the ads you see more valuable across the different devices and services you use."

Good luck with that. I'm interested to see if Verizon's ads will show up at all. I'll bet not.

In the US, it is generally agreed that Verizon has the best coverage and the worst service plans of any of the major carriers.

As for their "special maths", I'm reminded of the phrase "Seagate defines a gigabyte as..."

[Ole Juul]

I'll be looking forward to

Tomorrow's! El! Reg! headline!

[Anonymous Coward]

They must pass out some really, really good drugs at Verizon board meetings! Guess Yahoo Money user base is worth something.

[Anonymous Coward]

Is Geocities still around

I'll bet Verizon could get them real cheap!

[Andy Scott]

Re: Is Geocities still around

They're still around, they've been owned by Yahoo since about 1999

[allthecoolshortnamesweretaken]

Well what can I say? Those two deserve each other.

[Anonymous Coward]

Verizon, remember......its the 'IT' factor

as in "oh, just GOOGLE it."

What you need is a brand name that has even greater popularity in the English language than GOOGLE!

"What's more popular than GOOGLE, i hear you cry? Well how about (Drum roll please) "FUCK!"

YES!!....FUCK! As in "FUCK it"

Eg: "i want to find a website that specializes in ceramic pottery" "Well, why don't you just FUCK it?" "Oh yeah, i could just FUCK it couldn't i...thanks."

You see how natural that kind of conversation is? So don't delay, Verizon, FUCK it today!