Revealed: How Dell can afford $67bn for EMC – by selling $650k laptops

Dell's ingenious strategy for financing its audacious $67bn acquisition of EMC is a secret no more. Dell is already facing a staggering debt mountain to fund the takeover. Now a crack Reg investigative team can reveal that the Round Rock computing giant has an ambitious plan in place to raise the cash necessary for the deal …

[Anonymous Coward]

that Windows 7 is worth every dollar!

[Anonymous Coward]

The same model with Windows 10 model is $9.99

And it comes with a free mousepad. :)

[Anonymous Coward]

looks like they've taken a leaf out of Northrop Grummans business model

[Anonymous Coward]

looks like they've taken a leaf out of Northrop Grummans business model

Yes, I assumed those prices were for the F-35 diagnostic laptops.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: looks like they've taken a leaf out of Northrop Grummans business model

Congress has a big hand in those $10,000 toilet seats as well. First they hide our black ops budget (which is bigger I think that all but a few countries entire defense budget) in the regular defense budget and then on top of that I am sure Congress gets a significant amount of its pet projects/outright corruption in there as well.

[perfgeek]

Re: looks like they've taken a leaf out of Northrop Grummans business model

Shirley the F-35 is LockheedMartin?

[Fan of Mr. Obvious]

Bridesmaid...

Crap, missed out. All they have now are the lame $1,600 - $3,600 units.

[John Miles]

Re: missed out.

No problem I can source some for you, but I am afraid might be a bit dearer than the Dell offer ;)

[PNGuinn]

Re: missed out.

"No problem I can source some for you"

Two questions:

1. Do they come with a free bridge?

2. How fast are they in a vacuum?

[John Miles]

Re: Two questions:

Bridge is free, - you just need to collect from current location

Not sure why you'd want to keep it in a Vacuum cleaner, but it shouldn't impact performance, though getting dust in unit may cause issues

[Anonymous Coward]

nice try Dell

Wow the only thing Dell is missing from the Apple business model is the effective marketing to actually make their laptops desirable (doesn't help them being butt ugly generic as well).

[Anonymous Coward]

Reassuringly Expensive...

...and then you'd still see glitches, crashes and Windows 10 nags.

[Mark 85]

Re: Reassuringly Expensive...

No necessarily. Maybe the extra dosh is for the GWX Control Panel install?

[Brian Miller]

"No Reg Label"

Sorry, what?? No red vulture on the lappy? How dare you, Mr. Dell! For that kind of money, I want that label!

[Anonymous Coward]

Fuck

I just sold my house and they take the page down.

Thanks Dell.

[PaulCharlton]

We - Compaq UK - once shipped an obsolete Compaq D286 in the UK for £250,000. It should have been £250 .... it did make us nostalgic for the old days though .... fantastic margins. We did fix it later of course.