back to article Bacon is not my vodka friend

Bacon infused vodka may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but selling this improbable beverage in Oklahoma could land you in hot water. This we learned today from the woes of Colin Grizzle - yes, really - a manager at the Pump bar in Oklahoma city, who was charged with maintaining a disorderly house after bottles of infused vodka …

  1. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    Bacon garlic?

    Is there a comma missing, or is this a new trend that I have missed?

    I can see the point of such a law--do you want that bottle of single-malt Scotch topped up with moonshine from around back? However, the element of deception seems to be missing if one is serving vodka with pickle juice in it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Bacon garlic?

      However, the element of deception seems to be missing if one is serving vodka with pickle juice in it

      Well... is that really vinegar you're tasting, or is it uric acid?

    2. Fungus Bob

      Re: I can see the point of such a law

      Filling a single-malt Scotch bottle with homemade hooch would probably be considered fraud and be illegal anyway.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At my rugby club we have home-made chilli sambuca. You have to drink it for punishments. I wish it were illegal.

    1. chivo243 Silver badge
      Coat

      I wish it were illegal. What? Rugby?

    2. A K Stiles Silver badge
      Pint

      I have to agree - nobody want's their chilli-spirits to taste of sambuca!

      (icon, 'cos chilli beer is often quite nice)

    3. Fibbles

      Used to have something similar back in ye olde student days to be used for dares, drinking games and the like.

      Black liquorice Sambuca infused with Ghost Chillis. We called it Devil's Blood.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I'm not sure what type of sambuca is used, but they infused ghost chilli's into it.

        You can't really taste the sambuca over the chilli's anyway. It's made plenty of people throw up and given almost everybody who's had it very bad hiccoughs.

    4. Tom 7 Silver badge

      I know a cheese that would go really well with. No idea what its called tho;

      Never underestimate the Basques.

  3. Measurer

    Heathens! Shouldn't that be:

    "once a bottle of alcohol is open, you are not allowed to leave without finishing it”

    1. Ian Michael Gumby
      Boffin

      @Measurer

      What you describe is alcohol abuse.

      What is against the law is for the bar to infuse their own vodka.

      Were they to buy infused vodka from the company, then they would be ok.

      I can understand this.. because its also a food safety issue.

      The idea of the law is to protect the consumer from tainted drinks.

      1. Tom 7 Silver badge

        Re: @Measurer

        And they let you drink US mass produced beer?

        1. Ian Michael Gumby

          @Tom 7 Re: @Measurer

          Yes, we can drink Piss, but you can eat Haggis. We can't. ;-)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @Measurer

        @Ian Michael Gumby.

        look at you being all serious here.........

        1. Ian Michael Gumby

          @AC ... Re: @Measurer

          I do have my fair share of lucid moments. ;-)

          Unlike certain AC and other posters who tend to take a run at windmills.

          When you get older you will find that you have more to lose and will become more conservative.

          I have had my share of infused drinks, but only from bartenders and bars that I know and trust.

          That does not mean I don't understand and agree with why they passed that law.

          While I'm too old to partake in today's designer drugs... like Molly, you have to trust the person handing you the pill, and trust that they know where it came from and so on... otherwise you are putting your life at risk. I'm not judging, but the point is that when you don't know who made or mixed the drink, you are at risk.

      3. Moosh

        Re: @Measurer

        What if they were to pour it into a different bottle?

        Plenty of cocktail bars in London make their own infused spirits.

  4. Ken 16 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Pretend?

    It's illegal for a bar owner to allow anyone to _pretend_ to have sex with a buffalo _inside_ the bar?

    So go all the way or take it outside?

    1. AlexG_UK

      Re: Pretend?

      Having followed the link I can put your mind at rest; even our transatlantic cousins blanch at buffalo-bonking. The phrase they use is "performance by any person of acts, or simulated acts,"

      As is so often the case, the reality is slightly less entertaining than the (actual) story

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Pretend?

        I seem to recall that during the Joh Bjelke-Petersen regime that Queensland passed a law making it illegal to serve drinks to child molesters.

        Incidentally The Git voted for the Sex and Marijuana Party for the Senate on the grounds that a politician who's shit-faced and bonking isn't likely to pass truly lunatic legislation.

    2. JustWondering
      Meh

      Re: Pretend?

      I didn't realize there were enough amorous buffalo hanging around inside bars for this to be a problem requiring legislation.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So it's ok to actually have sex with a buffalo?

    1. JudeKay (Written by Reg staff)

      Only if you're a buffalo, sir

      1. A K Stiles Silver badge
        Joke

        what if you're a Bison?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          then the authorities just pull the plug on you.

          1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
            Joke

            If you're a bison they'll wash their hands of you, or perhaps in you...

        2. Bloakey1

          "what if you're a Bison?"

          There is nothing wrong with being a bi Son just do not let the locals know.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Pint

          Oh, look! Someone does know the difference, Buffalo's are not Bison's.

          1. Jeffrey Nonken

            ...But somebody else who doesn't know that possessives aren't plurals.

    2. Kubla Cant Silver badge

      It's OK in other states

      Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

      1. Fink-Nottle

        Re: It's OK in other states

        > Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

        Bu, bu, bu, buffalo girls go round the outside.

        (Old school comment scratch mix)

  6. Timo
    IT Angle

    The law is probably on the books to prevent someone from watering down the booze (or putting bottom shelf liquor into a top-shelf bottle and selling it as such.) I would think that many municipalities around the world have similar rules in place.

    The problem this bar created was in putting the infused/doctored booze back into a bottle that may have had the original label on it. So they got nailed on a technicality. I would think that if they would use a large jar to hold their infusions they'd likely be fine.

    1. Tony Haines

      //The law is probably on the books to prevent someone from watering down the booze//

      Except it would be legal if they left the lid off.

    2. Pedigree-Pete

      Passing off...

      ...similar laws here. It's called passing off. Enter a bar and ask for a Coke. Get served Pepsi or any other brand and that is passing off. PP

  7. Ol'Peculier
    WTF?

    Guess what isn't an ingredient of the 'Merican versions of Smirnoff Ice or Bacardi Breezer?

    1. Valeyard

      i dunno. scotch eggs?

    2. Mephistro

      @ Ol'Peculier

      Marmite, peanut butter and plutonium.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @ Ol'Peculier

        Marmite, peanut butter and plutonium.

        On toast. That's my daily breakfast, lasts almost until first elevenses.

      2. Rich 11 Silver badge

        Re: @ Ol'Peculier

        Marmite, peanut butter and plutonium.

        Two out of three ain't bad...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @ Ol'Peculier

          Not everybody likes Marmite.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: @ Ol'Peculier

            Not everybody likes Marmite.

            Everybody likes Marmite, it's just that some of them have been brought up believing that it's some kind of hideously poisonous evil. It's a bit like not believing in evolution...

            They simply need to attend the necessary anti-aversion therapy, and they'll be spreading it on their toast with peanut butter and plutonium just like the rest of us.

            1. Diogenes

              Re: @ Ol'Peculier

              marmite bah, too sweet. Real mean eat Vegemite !

              1. David 132 Silver badge
                Pint

                Re: @ Ol'Peculier

                Real men eat Vegemite !

                Seconded!

                I flew through Sydney recently en route from Singapore and picked up a tube of Vegemite. Hadn't had it in years; it was a real Proustian moment when I got home and put some on toast.

                My wife and friends won't go near it though and think I'm weird.

                Mmm Vegemite... beer... hungry now!

        2. Captain DaFt

          Re: @ Ol'Peculier

          "Marmite, peanut butter and plutonium."

          "Two out of three ain't bad..."

          Yeah... Peanut butter? EEEW!

    3. Kurt Meyer

      Booze

      @ Ol'Peculier

      "Guess what isn't an ingredient of the 'Merican versions of Smirnoff Ice or Bacardi Breezer?"

      In the first - vodka.

      In the second - rum.

      It is the same with "wine coolers", they are "malt beverages". There's not a drop of wine in them.

      The discerning tippler will steer well clear of them, as with most mass produced liquor.

  8. wolfetone Silver badge

    I tried making Bacon Vodka once

    It didn't go down well.

    Well it went down the sink easy enough but it was bloody vile to drink.

    1. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: I tried making Bacon Vodka once

      Dont use the shit they call bacon in the shops. Proper dry cured is OK ish but the best thing to do with vodka is drink it with the cured fat the Poles (and others) do such a good job of. But keep em separate until you get em near your gob.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A friend who ended up stuck in Stillwater, Oklahoma for a year noticed that the students can't buy booze, but they sure as hell could buy cocaine on almost every street corner.

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Then congratulations are due to the Stillwater cops for keeping Budweiser out of the hands of impressionable youngsters. We wouldn't want them growing up thinking it was beer.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Especially not the 3% fake beer they do on Sundays...

  10. Old Used Programmer Silver badge

    Nitpick... "Okies" are people from the Ozark Mountains region. People from Oklahoma are "Sooners".

    1. Vector
      WTF?

      Say wha...huh?

      "Okie" was the derogatory term used during the dustbowl for migrants from Oklahoma to California. Folks there might like to be called Sooners, but they're far more likely to be called Okies.

      The only term I've ever heard for folks from the Ozark Mountains (and I grew up 'round there) is "hillbilly."

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Huh.... I guess you best talk to Merle Haggard about that.... err... nope, he's dead.

      Try this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Okie_from_Muskogee_(song)

      1. Mephistro

        He, you beat me to it!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Okie is a strange place

    Better carry your birth certificate withyou at all times.

    If you use a public restroom you might be challenged just in case you were a transgendered person daring to use the room that is NOT the one of their birth sex.

    A M-to-F persone would still have to use the Male restroom even if they were legally a woman.

    The same goes for North Carolina. Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen cancelled some gigs earlier this year in NC because of this crazy bathroom law.

    Gotta protect the crazies from seeing our wimmin!

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge
      Gimp

      Re: Okie is a strange place

      Gotta protect our wimmin from seeing something more interesting...

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Infusion is illegal in a lot of US states

    But if you want bacon vodka, never fear, that's available on the market already made:

    http://www.bakonvodka.com/

  13. x 7

    so if you wanted to make Sloe gin (or vodka) you'd be breaking the law? Stupid

  14. Oengus

    If you have bacon in your vodka you are doing something wrong... If the bacon is good enough to infuse in Vodka you should be grilling and eating it. Now trapping the smoke/aromas coming off the cooking bacon and bubbling that through the Vodka - now there's an idea...

  15. jukejoint

    So proud of my country I could weep!

    "You're doing fine Oklahoma!

    Oklahoma, OK!!!"

    (When will the tears stop? Crying as I type...)

  16. YumDogfood

    The best cocktail in the world...

    Ordered by my missus in Oklahoma City (we were doing a cross Murica road trip from GA to CA.) It had some French liqueur in it, violets or something. Very well balanced, delicate, not too sweet or overpoweringly boozy. Perfection, IMHO.

    The bar was banging out G n' R, which we danced to, and... and... my memory fails after that point.

    As to the bemusement of Brits encountering the strips of lard called bacon here in the USA, I finally figured it out! You gently heat strips of the things until the lard melts off. Then turn the heat up a bit. Decamp the crispy jerky impersonators to a paper towel to soak off the excess. Crack in egg or two into the lake o' lard and fry as usual. Fried bread optional. The lard imparts flavo(u)r[1] and is good hearty morning scram, or a general purpose day after bear soaker. Note: Don't use the really cheap "bacon", go to Whole Wallet and splash out for something that is not 100% subcutaneous oinker fat.

    [1] Transitioning between spellings I am.

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