back to article Patriotic Brits rush into streets to celebrate… National Cream Tea Day

A storm-tossed Britain woke up this morning to the heart-warming news that…it’s National Cream tea day. You've probably noticed that the country has recently been subjected to a series of rancorous debates on fundamental issues such as whether it's pronounced “scone” or “scone”. Well the debate is over, and the answers are in …

  1. Mike Richards Silver badge

    An issue that bitterly divides the country

    Jam first then cream.

    Don't be a Devonian heathen.

    1. James 51
      Megaphone

      Re: An issue that bitterly divides the country

      No cream, just jam.

      1. M7S
        Trollface

        Re: An issue that bitterly divides the country

        Butter before the jam?

      2. Small Furry Animal
        FAIL

        Re: An issue that bitterly divides the country

        "No cream, just jam."

        I would agree with you; but then we'd both be wrong

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: An issue that bitterly divides the country

      No cream or jam for me.

      Working for a company which appears to be set to relocate to an EU country because we do most of our trade there, looking towards the serious threat of redundancy, I think I might have to be quite frugal for now.

      I would hate to get dragged into one of the DWP's inquisitions and have my benefits stopped because I had recklessly blown my savings on cake.

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        Re: An issue that bitterly divides the countries

        s/country/countries/

        As an expat, I'm disappointed that the only clotted cream I can find is that long-life UHT abomination sold in jars. Perhaps the Cream Tea Society could address that serious issue?

        1. Alex Read
          Thumb Up

          Re: An issue that bitterly divides the countries

          No clotted cream stuff here in Finland either but popping a single or double cream in an oven tray overnight on a low oven temp works wonders!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: An issue that bitterly divides the country

        "I would hate to get dragged into one of the DWP's inquisitions and have my benefits stopped because I had recklessly blown my savings on cake."

        Having been in this position at the start of the recession I'm afraid to say that if you have more than sixpence in savings then you won't get any benefits, since benefits are reserved for the financially proliferate people who don't stick money away for a rainy day.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: An issue that bitterly divides the country

          What is more "rainy" than needing money to put food on the table? Or has the term "rainy day" come to mean saving up to spend only on nice-to-have stuff?

      3. Lusty
        Devil

        Re: An issue that bitterly divides the country

        Cake or Death?

        1. Sloppy Crapmonster

          Re: An issue that bitterly divides the country

          Cake please!

          (Even this dirty Murkin gets that reference)

      4. Black Rat
        Big Brother

        Re: blown my savings on cake

        Having cake will be the least of your worries.Two tech geeks in the UK currently between jobs were investigated by the DWP a few months ago because of bizarre tip off...

        "We have received information that there are an unusual number of computers in the house"

        Not the Inland Revenue with a discrepancy or police intelligence just a nosey neighbour who saw a five screen flight simulator through the window and had a paranoia overload.

      5. energystar
        Childcatcher

        Re: An issue that bitterly divides the country

        There a jamming issue here: No Country part of a Country-Union can take this decision on an exclusive privilege.

        In Latin terms: The whole process is vicious.

        1. energystar
          Childcatcher

          Decisions like these...

          Change all of the Social, Economical & Political Environment' variables. Consequently preconditions of Country-Union Contract.

          Vicious from the start. Null.

      6. choleric

        Re: An issue that bitterly divides the country

        In these glorious days I think you can have your scone and eat it, can't you?

    3. Captain Scarlet
      Coat

      Re: An issue that bitterly divides the country

      I have to admit I like both jam with cream on top and vice versa (I have been known to do each with each side of a scone must to the disgust of whoever is sitting near by)

    4. Howard Hanek
      Happy

      Re: An issue that bitterly divides the country

      Ah, those carefree 'Devonian' days. Almost hourly volcanic eruptions, meteorite impacts, periodic extinction events and the word 'heathen' completely lacking from every lexicon. It makes me truly nostalgic.

  2. m0rt

    “tea before milk”.

    This has divided my wife and I for a considerable time. She insists on milk added before tea bag removed. I find this horrendous.

    However, I will leave her to her deluded ideas of what tea should taste like and stick to correclty prepared Earl Grey.

    1. BoldMan

      Re: “tea before milk”.

      Earl Grey is vile!

      Lapsang Souchong for teh win!

      1. Stevie Silver badge

        Re: “tea before milk”.

        Lapsang Souchong tea drinkers! Don't waste money on expensive swank tea; simply stir your PG Tips with a sliver of old railway sleeper for that smoked creosote flavour you crave!

        1. Esme

          Re: “tea before milk”.

          How uncouth! It's Twinleys* English Breakfast tea or Darjeeling for a proper Cream Tea, as all fule kno!

          (oh, and it's 'scone' with an 'owe' sound, not an 'on' sound. Having been blessed with being raised in Gods Own Cream Tea Country of Wessex, I know this to be authoratative)

          *If you're wondering what brand THAT is, don't. I nicked it from Dr Geoff (see http://islandofdoctorgeof.co.uk/iodg/ - warning: some may consider some of his stuff NSFW) to avoid promoting any particular actual brand.

          Thank you for pointing us at the most excellent Cream Tea Society, duly bookmarked. I wonder if the CTS has heard of Tea Duelling yet?

      2. Neil Barnes Silver badge
        Unhappy

        Re: “tea before milk”.

        Sob: no more Lester to chastise me for my degenerate Lapsang Souchong ways.

    2. Darren B 1

      Re: “tea before milk”.

      Just wrong!, adding milk before removing the old bag could incur floaters.

      1. Bloakey1

        Re: “tea before milk”.

        "Just wrong!, adding milk before removing the old bag could incur floaters."

        Hmmm, I think that the old bag should removed and buried in a deep hole. Leaving the old bag to float might encourage enquiries from the loacl constabulary.

        I do milk after.

        Now another question, teabag before water or after? I am an after man but my girly prefares to do it first.

    3. Adrian Harvey
      Boffin

      Re: “tea before milk”.

      A point of history here: Once, quality porcelain was able to withstand the shock of being filled with boiling water, but cheaper china might crack. Adding the milk first would prevent the thermal shock. Therefore if you were inclined to show off the quality and/or expense of your teacups you would put the tea in first. As a result different social sets/classes developed different tea rituals though few now know why.

      1. TheOtherHobbes

        Re: “tea before milk”.

        I'm told that saying someone is "a bit MBT" - milk before tea - is a mortal insult in the North.

        I always put in a bag and pour milk on it before pouring on hot water because the pouring action emulsifies the milk and brings out the flavour of the tea and the milk together.

        I'll leave my place in the social pecking order to people who peck.

        1. John H Woods Silver badge

          Re: “tea before milk”.

          Am I the only one who puts half the milk in before the tea and the other half after?

          1. H in The Hague Silver badge

            Re: “tea before milk”.

            "Am I the only one who puts half the milk in before the tea and the other half after?"

            Yes.

            (Though from a process engineering point of view I applaud your approach.)

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: “tea before milk”.

      No need for milk in earl/lady grey. It tastes like soap if you put milk in.

      Argument solved.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: “tea before milk”.

        "No need for milk in earl/lady grey. It tastes like soap if you put milk in."

        s/earl\/lady grey/tea/

      2. BoldMan

        Re: “tea before milk”.

        > No need for milk in earl/lady grey. It tastes like soap if you put milk in.

        Tasting like soap would be an improvement!

    5. dajames

      Re: “tea before milk”.

      She insists on milk added before tea bag removed. I find this horrendous.

      What? Let me get this straight ... she puts milk into the teapot?

      That is horrendous!

    6. BebopWeBop Silver badge

      Re: “tea before milk”.

      While I sympathise with your marital problems, in fact you seem to have been most restrained, still being married and all, the answer is actually Yorkshire Tea. Accept no other.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: “tea before milk”.

        "the answer is actually Yorkshire Tea"

        Grown on the slopes of Ilkley Moor.

      2. herman Silver badge

        Re: “tea before milk”.

        I think the answer is Yokshire Pudding. Any argument can be solved with Yorkshire Pudding. No one can talk with a mouth full.

        1. Whiskers

          Re: Yorkshire Pudding

          But do you put the cream or the jam on first? Where does the milk go? What happens to the scone?

    7. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      Re: “tea before milk”.

      The tea goes in the cup and the milk goes on your cereal.

    8. ChrisBedford

      Re: “tea before milk”.

      This has divided my wife and I for a considerable time

      Yes well there's something that shouldn't divide *anyone*. This has divided my wife and ME, please.

    9. Hans 1

      Re: “tea before milk”.

      >This has divided my wife and I for a considerable time. She insists on milk added before tea bag removed. I find this horrendous.

      >However, I will leave her to her deluded ideas of what tea should taste like and stick to correclty prepared Earl Grey.

      Ok, well, I think the article was about tea [from tea pot] before milk or milk then tea [from tea pot].

      The real answer depends on your tea service, if you have expensive China, you will pour milk first, as pouring tea first can stain your cup.

      People who use tea bags need not even discuss do's/don't when it comes to "tea" as, well, "tea bag" contents has been all over the factory floor prior to reaching that bag, and, seriously, is like instant coffee to coffee out of an Italian coffee maker, or nespresso compared to a "real" espresso machine ...

  3. BarryUK

    It's national bloody Dunning–Kruger day, is what it is.

  4. Blofeld's Cat Silver badge
    Happy

    Ah...

    Thank you for drawing this to my attention. I will now go and celebrate in the appropriate way...

    ... by having a bacon sarnie with my mug of Yorkshire.

    1. Scroticus Canis
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Ah...

      ... but do you put the jam and cream on top of the bacon or under it?

  5. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Had quite the best cream tea in many a year here, just two weeks ago.

    1. KBeee Bronze badge
      Facepalm

      Naaaaa... That's whipped cream, not the proper clotted cream.

    2. H in The Hague Silver badge

      "Had quite the best cream tea in many a year here, just two weeks ago."

      Thanks for the tip. Will try that once I'm back in NL. Haven't been that far oop North for years.

  6. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    1. getHandle

      Blimey

      The comments were mostly harmless and mildly amusing until I got to here!

      Calm down dear - it's only a referendum!

      1. energystar
        Headmaster

        "...it's only a referendum!"

        Quite a few pines down, in the bowling.

        Indeed, only at England, a referendum is able to achieve this...

    2. BoldMan

      ...and here is someone with a serious irony deficiency...

    3. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      So you really don't like scones then?

      1. herman Silver badge

        Heartburn Bombs, that's what they are, but delicious.

    4. Bloakey1

      Wiping ones rancid anus?

      Does one wipe ones rancid anus with 1 sheet up, 1 down and 1 to polish?

    5. energystar
      Holmes

      Please respect...

      The tea hour. Armageddon can wait...

  7. Ripper38
    Facepalm

    A no brainer

    From a Janner/Devonian heathen....Sterile debates with misleading claims from pompous gits... uh, sorry blotted confabulating buffoons make me so angry I could crush Brazil nuts with me buttocks... Of course its milk then tea and cream, then jam and just let me catch you putting butter on a scone. </sarc but not quite>

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: A no brainer

      Sterile debates with misleading claims from pompous gits...

      Really? What claims have I made here then?

      Perhaps I'd better make one: The Pompous Git drinks Sikkim Estate (a Darjeeling) sans milk or sugar. You can drink your tea with/without whatever additives you want. True pompous gits couldn't give a rat's arse about what other people think.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's pronounced "scown", you savages.

    1. ChrisB 2

      The quick bread - scone as in gone, fawn, pawn

      The stone and the place - scone as in boon, loon, soon

      Scone as lone, phone, stone - never.

      Simple.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        What weird accent do you speak that gone rhymes with fawn and pawn?

        FWIW pawn rhymes with porn, which means you appear to be saying scone rhymes with scorn!

        Well, I pour scorn on your weird accent and give you scone not only to rhyme with "on" but make sure that the joke still works.

        Q. What;s the fastest snack in the world?

        A. S'gone.

        1. ChrisBedford

          What weird accent do you speak that gone rhymes with fawn and pawn

          Hmm, possibly some affected upper-crust one? There is a memorable exchange in one of the G&S operettas (Pirates?) where "orphan" and "often" are pronounced the same. And and didn't the two Ronnies (?) lose a French "horn" that was "gorn"?

          1. Artless dodger

            No, I think you'll find it was Flanders and Swann "Ill Wind"

    2. raving angry loony

      That would be "scone" which rhymes with "gone"

      Gone, because while you were whingeing I ate them all.

  9. A K Stiles
    Coffee/keyboard

    Tea first? Heathens!

    http://www.academiaobscura.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/RSC-tea-guidelines.pdf

    1. A K Stiles
      Coat

      Re: Tea first? Heathens!

      and for me - Pot, pre-warmed and left to brew for 3+ minutes, preferably loose leaf by the teaspoon per person. Milk first so it doesn't denature with heat - you know roughly how much you put in normally! Scone, rhymes with 'gone', then jam then clotted cream.

      In fact, due to my heritage tendancies, a slice of butter between jam and cream for extra tasty goodness - and be glad I didn't try to batter and deep-fry that bad boy too!

      1. energystar
        Gimp

        Gourmettes, could complement with

        http://allrecipes.com/recipe/16932/lemon-poppy-seed-bread/

  10. 's water music

    metaphors

    Wait, if the jam is Android and the cream is IOS, is Windows 10 the tea or the milk? Is AmigaOS the cake-stand or the tablecloth? And how does Taligent fit in?

  11. Tom 7 Silver badge

    My next door neighbour has a large dairy herd

    and every xmas they make a batch of unpasteurised clotted cream. I'm lactose intolerant but by christ that stuff is too good to worry about a few stomach cramps which can be hidden by gallons of booze and . I live a few miles west of the Tamar so I feel entitled to eat my cream scones both ways (home made Strawberry jam - none of this corn syrup shit) and so long as its got this cream on it I dont care which way you do it!

    If we make unpasteurised dairy products compulsory now we are out of the EU something good may come of it yet.

  12. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Trollface

    “Never use whipped cream. It’s utterly improper.”

    Is spray on cream from a can ok?

    1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: “Never use whipped cream. It’s utterly improper.”

      Cruising for bruising right there!

    2. Commswonk

      Re: “Never use whipped cream. It’s utterly improper.”

      Is spray on cream from a can ok?

      For shaving, yes; for a scone, definitely not.

      As any fule kno.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: “Never use whipped cream. It’s utterly improper.”

        "For shaving, yes; for a scone, definitely not."

        Just tried it in the hope my wife would lick it off. The cat got there first :-(

        1. Red Bren

          Re: “Never use whipped cream. It’s utterly improper.”

          You're going to end up on one of those lists...

        2. Commswonk

          Re: “Never use whipped cream. It’s utterly improper.”

          Just tried it in the hope my wife would lick it off. The cat got there first :-(

          Whatever else you do please resist the temptation to tell us which part of your anatomy had the cream applied.

          That really would be TMI.

  13. ADRM

    Cheese Scones

    Try these savoury scones with hunks of good quality mature farmhouse cheddar.

    Makes 7-8

    Self raising flour - 225g (8 oz)

    Salt - ½ tsp

    Mustard powder - 1 tsp

    Cayenne pepper - pinch

    Butter - 50g (2 oz)

    Cheddar cheese - 50g (2 oz), grated

    Milk - 150 ml (¼ pint), plus extra for brushing

    METHOD

    1. Sift flour, salt, mustard and cayenne pepper into a bowl. Rub butter into flour until mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. Mix in the grated cheddar cheese. Add milk all at once. Mix to a soft, but not sticky, dough with a knife.

    2. Turn onto a lightly floured surface. Knead quickly until smooth. Roll out to about 1 cm (½ inch) thick. Cut into 7 or 8 rounds with a 6.5 cm (2½ inch) biscuit cutter.

    3. Transfer to a baking sheet. Brush tops with milk. Bake at 230 °C / 450 °F / Gas 8 for 7-10 minutes or until well risen and golden.

    4. Cool on a wire cooling rack.

    Enjoy....

    1. Chris G Silver badge

      Re: Cheese Scones

      Cheese scones are excellent but your recipe needs more cheese, preferably a Cheddar so mature, just opening the packaging will bring you out in a cold sweat.

      Oh, and don't cool them too much, eat with lashings of butter and a garnish of bacon.

      1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
        Unhappy

        Re: Cheese Scones

        As far as I'm concerned there is no such thing. It might be something with cheese but it's certainly not a scone.

        1. ADRM
          WTF?

          Re: Cheese Scones

          Well I eat them everyday as my wife makes them for me. They taste like scones to me. You can also find them in some grocery stores. I do add more cheese myself but thought best to post the original recipie.

  14. JeffyPoooh
    Pint

    Coincidentally...

    My lovely wife held a 'high tea' today.

    Including three types of tea, homemade scones, homemade clotted cream, cucumber sandwiches, etc.

    Quite nice.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And what's wrong with putting a spoon on the saucer?

    1. ChrisBedford

      And what's wrong with putting a spoon on the saucer?

      Indeed, I was wondering the same thing. If you don't put it on the saucer where do you put it? On the table, where it leaves a milky tea-stain? Seems daft to me.

  16. Winkypop Silver badge
    Coat

    I don't like tea

    Sorry, I'll get my coat....

  17. ICPurvis47

    Personally, tea bag (Tesco Red Label) first, boiled water second, sugar third, and milk last. Reasons, soaking a teabag in milk stops the tea from reaching the correct temperature to bring out the flavour, and sugar does not dissolve completely in a solution containing fats, the fat globules coat the sugar crystals and prevent solution. It has taken me best part of 50 years' experimentation to reach these conclusions, and I will stand by them against all comers. PS scone pronounced sc(oh!)n.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Sugar and tea in at the same time...pouring in the water mixes the sugar and saves you some stirring and having to wash a spoon up***.

      Then milk.

      ***With teabags on string. No string and you still have to wash a spoon up, but stirring is still minimised.

      1. You aint sin me, roit Silver badge

        "No string and you still have to wash a spoon up"

        I think you meant

        "No string and somebody will have to wash a spoon up, eventually"

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