Dido Harding's next appointment
NHS England is recruiting for a director of digital experience for £131,000, part of a major digital rebrand of the health service. The digi director will be a key senior leader in the Chief Information and Technology Officer’s group, said the job ad. It will involve "Identifying services across the entirety of the NHS …
Oh come on Dido wouldn't get out of bed for a 95% cut in income. She is doing something far more important. And totally transparently, be it your personal data, engineer appointments and other sensitive data.
Frankly you would have to pay me rather more than £131k to take all the sh1t that job will entail.
If it wasn't for the fact this post is for a job in London I'd be applying for it. I can do Twitter, Facespace and MyBook like a real pro.
But I absolutely draw the line at working in a city where I would spend 2 hours a day with my faced pressed up against someones arm pit on the tube. No thank you!
Oh come on, there are alternatives! You could take the car and have free parking three hours a day in the middle of the M25 or any other of the major roads! Or take a "Boris Bike" and fear for your life while inhaling the exhaust fumes of "parking" cars as you whizz by.
On a more serious note, you've nailed exactly what I came to hate about working and living here. Add to that the extreme property costs for anything that doesn't resemble a shit hole and isn't outside of any useful school's admission area, and you've got the two main reasons why we're moving away (hopefully later this year).
Ah yes, the M25. The biggest car park in the world.
I worked in London for 3 months, commuting from High Barnet to Covent Garden, it was a horrible 3 months. It was when the riots were kicking off too and I would go home every weekend to Birmingham, so 1 hour on the tube and the overland train to High Barnet then drive the car for 3 hours to get home.
I know it's not for as long as you, but Christ it was enough for me to resent going there. Sure if you're out of London you think it's an amazing city, but it's not. Over crowded, dirty, expensive. I don't know how anyone can live there and like it.
Never again. I was genuinely tempted to apply for it too, but am I hell doing that again.
I'm sure boatloads of cash help, for those who live in the rarefied world where not having a garage full of Bentleys and Ferraris means you are dirt poor.
When you have your personal pilot ready to take you anywhere in your private helicopter, the traffic and the smelly locals are no longer a problem.
I live in Maida Vale, which is incredibly close to the centre of everything, has great transport links (home to work in 35 minutes) and I wake up in the morning to the singing of birds and the dapple of sunlight through the trees. There are charming small parks and open areas and he canal, with great pubs and restaurants of all types. I can see a West End show and be back in half and hour. I can shop at local farmer's markets (Harrow Road or Marylebone) or go up to Kilburn for affordable stuff. I can get out of London on the Westway in minutes. I have all the fun of living in the most interesting city in the world with a quiet life in a lovely part of town. You couldn't pay me to leave.
Digital Experience is the real time maintenance of Staff, Patients and Visitors' experiences through every stage of the hospitalling process using cloud based SaaS infrastructure combined with a DevOps style outlook throughout the NHS moving forwards to continuously improve the quality of the time those affected spend in hospitals.
You forgot to mention the synergies and potential for economic growth for the private sector, enabled by goverment digital services which will allow access to and real-time analysis of big data. (data sharing with pharma and insurances, for nobody's benefit except theirs)
To better meet customer demand (tax payers' complaints about waste of money on little or no results at all), this will of course be outsourced by the end of this gov's term.
Less snarky version: 131k is not enough for a position that will take a lot of heat very soon and is perfect to match the small print of the employment contract (where it reads scapegoat and ejection seat in case the whole idea fails on a political level which has nothing to do with this role)
It's basically a catch-all phrase that's trying to encompass anything done online or via an app.
Ironically the things it describes could never be considered as analogue - or anything else (analogue websites anyone?)
So in summary, a pointless word, when you can't think of any alternatives. Ideal for the NHS or any other public sector org.
OK, what do we have from the recruiter's grab-bag of magic words?
experienced - check
senior - check
leader - check
values - check
passionate - check ("I can’t wait to shag a digital")
needs - check
ensure - check
effective and efficient - check
Trick question: Which of these words could not be applied to any other job ad?
I could do it but I couldn't live with myself.
As far as I can tell digital is a swarm of locust that finds a nice juicy field and eats all the farmers crops so the farmer and their family starve to death. They turn up, promise the world, trash everything, piss everyone off, spend all your money, then fuck off to the next company to repeat the process.
"Identifying services across the entirety of the NHS portfolio where digitisation will dramatically improve patient outcomes or enable organisations".
"Identifying services across the entirety of the NHS portfolio where digitisation will dramatically improve patient outcomes or enable organisations to pay us for your data".
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