back to article Lester Haines: RIP

It is with incredible sadness that El Reg must report that Lester Haines, one of our finest story-tellers and an all-round good bloke, passed away on Monday. Lester, who was 55, died of a heart attack at his home in Spain. He will be cremated on Friday 17 June. Readers will know Lester for his biting wit, his piloting of the …

  1. Geoff May
    1. Sartori

      Re: :'(

      Currently at 55 upvotes, I would add mine, but 55 seems a good place to leave it.

    2. Ken Hall

      Re: :'(

      The man who introduced me to the concept of haggis Pakora - since adapted to black pudding pakora.

      The world is short another great man. So sad for his family, friends and colleagues.

      1. wolfetone Silver badge

        Re: :'(

        "The man who introduced me to the concept of haggis Pakora - since adapted to black pudding pakora."

        You need to link to that recipie, that was before my time but I need that in my life!

        1. cray74

          Re: :'(

          "You need to link to that recipie, that was before my time but I need that in my life!"

          Generic haggis pakora recipes pop up with a Google search. As for the Lester's recipe...Ralph B, thank you for the link to his articles:

          Haggis pakora versus huevos rancheros.

      2. Vometia Munro Silver badge

        Re: :'(

        "The man who introduced me to the concept of haggis Pakora - since adapted to black pudding pakora.

        The world is short another great man. So sad for his family, friends and colleagues."

        This is the exactly the sort of thing that made The Register so great. RIP, old chap. :(

    3. 45RPM

      Re: :'(

      One of the finest contributors to El Reg, and the man who kept me coming back here even on those rare occasions when El Reg wasn’t performing at its best. He never missed the mark, and I will miss reading what he has to say and his views on food, science, drink and the world.

      My condolences to his family and friends at this awful time.

      1. chrspy

        Re: :'(

        Another for whom Lester was the "draw to come back to this site even though the blatant partisanship of some of the articles has been increasingly annoying. Don't destroy his legacy by continuing down that route, please ...........

    4. MonkeyCee

      Re: :'(

      So long and thanks for all the fish. *sniff*

      A writer who not only engaged BTL, but seemed to quite enjoy it.

      I suggest that one of the less used icon's gets retired, and a suitable homage created. A pipe or a bacon sarnie would be my vote.

    5. EddieD

      Re: :'(


      I've been away and I've only just seen this.

      Thoughts to his family, Kararina, the Junior Boffin, and nephew Matt, the bearded coated one, and all the others.

      I always enjoyed his articles, his enthusiasm, his love of life.

      My coronary artery will probably never forgive him, but I loved his recipes.

      Very deeply sad

      1. Mpeler

        Re: :'(

        RIP Lester and condolences to your family and friends. May the fork be with you (and spoon, and spork, and other utensils)...

        (Sherlock has a pipe, seems to be sad, too).

    6. Dick

      Re: :'(

      How very sad :(

    7. Ragarath

      Re: :'(

      Ahh, not been on El'Reg for a few days and come back to this sad news.

      RIP Lester, we will miss you and your articles.

  2. Tony S

    He'll be missed.


  3. Mr_Pitiful

    OMG End of an Era

    RIP Lester, you will be sadly missed

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Sir Runcible Spoon

      Re: OMG End of an Era

      I am genuinely shocked :'(

      My thoughts are with his family, friends and colleagues - this place just won't be the same.

    3. Mark 85

      Re: OMG End of an Era

      Indeed. I think many of us came here and stayed here because of his articles. My condolences to his family and colleagues. A sad day...

      I wish there was a bacon sarnie icon I could raise in salute also.

  4. Ralph B


    May his spirit long live on at The Reg. I'll raise my (fully charged) LOHAN tankard in his memory this evening.

    1. Ralph B

      Re: Damn

      For those that want to remember what we'll be missing, here's a list of his articles and a list of his forum posts at The Reg.

      Was there ever a more engaged and engaging writer at work and play at a tech (or any) website?

      1. Ralph B

        Re: Damn

        > here's a list of his articles

        In retrospect I rather wish I hadn't found that link, because it's rather depressing to see that Lester's articles were pretty much ALL that has kept me interested me at The Reg over the years. Take care of his heritage, Reg. Take care.

        1. Dr Spork

          Re: Damn

          Precisely my thoughts Ralph.

          Truly tragic news.

          Glass duly raised. ---->

          My heartfelt condolences to his family, friends and all at El Reg (including other readers)

  5. wolfetone Silver badge

    Might be, if at all possible (and of course, wanted) if some of his ashes could go up with LOHAN when it makes the trip up to the sky.


    1. VinceH

      Given the time he's spent on it, and the sad fact that he'll never see the project come to fruition, that would indeed be a very fitting tribute.

    2. Paul Kunert

      We are discussing lots of ideas in the office. Will keep you all posted, thanks, Paul at The Reg

    3. The Vociferous Time Waster


      Ditto re ashes. Send him to spaaaaaace!

  6. asphytxtc

    Such a sad loss, Rest In Playmobil ..

    *raises glass*

  7. Alister

    What terrible news, my condolences to his family.

    RIP Lester.

  8. monty75

    Gutted. Lester's articles were always just the right mix of humour and information.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      How many stupid discussions have we had in the comments over Lester's articles? It's much more fun reading about how to make the perfect cuppa and bacon sarnie if you can then go on and call some other innocent commentard a heathen afterwards. With Lester usually joining in the fun too.

      But of course we were all joining in the fun that he, and El Reg, created. And it's a pretty good epitaph to have made lots of peoples' lives more fun. Which should not be a minor part of anyone's life achievements. As well as the more "real" stuff of raising a family and all the relationships with friends and colleagues.

      I'm genuinely sad at the death of someone I didn't even know. And I feel for all you guys at El Reg towers who did. I hope you have a drink in his honour and a bloody good laugh about him.

      RIP Lester. You'll be missed.

      ...although the person that admitted to drinking the abomination that is cofftea genuinely is a heathen...

      1. JasonLaw

        well said

        .(the post is required, and must contain letters)

      2. DiViDeD

        That was it exactly

        What marked out Lester's articles, and his forum posts, was the sheer fun and pointlessness of so much of it. he was always engaged with his readers and with us commentards.

        His sense of wicked fun and silliness will be sadly missed.

      3. Little sis

        Thank you for your kinds words ☺

  9. Gobhicks

    Playmobil or it hasn't happened

    Very very sad, Godspeed Lester, condolences to your loved ones

  10. chivo243 Silver badge

    Sad news

    Condolences to his family and loved ones. May they find strength in this trying time.

    A toast to Lester!

  11. wurdsmiff

    RIP Lester

    Sad news. Best wishes to the team at El Reg and Lester's family. He'll be much missed.

  12. Sir Gaz of Laz

    Very sad, and condolences to his family. I always enjoyed reading his articles.

  13. The March Hare

    Bloody Hell.

    sincere condolences to his family - I always enjoyed what he had to say

    RIP Lester


  14. GlenP Silver badge

    RIP Lester. Thoughts and prayers are with the family and colleagues.

  15. Matt Siddall

    RIP - very sad news

  16. Matt 4

    May the worms grow strong and fat on his deliciousness, it was a grand ride.

  17. James 51

    Sad for us readers but sadder still for those who knew him I am sure. Rest in peace, got a feeling the place isn't going to be the same without him.

  18. Rich83

    It was Lester's articles that first led me to El Reg, very sad news.

    1. Omnisis

      Me too - way back in 2004 - his irreverent wit epitomised British humour.... his writing leaves a beautiful legacy. RIP big guy.

  19. petur

    RIP Lester

    sad news :/

  20. Dan 55 Silver badge

    Too young

    My condolences to family and friends.

  21. Cripes Chief!

    Very sad news. Condolences to the team at El Reg and especially Lester's family. He'll be much missed.

  22. sysconfig

    Very sad news

    55 is way too young to log out!

    Rest in peace. Condolences to the family and friends.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Very sad news

      I too will be 55 this year. Suddenly I feel mortal.

      RIP Lester, you made many people smile.

      Currently, and coincidently, drinking a pint from my LOHAN tankard and eating a kebab meat pizza. You sounded impressed by that pizza when I mentioned it a long while ago Lester, I hope you got to taste one,

  23. HkraM


    I'm lost for words. I always enjoyed reading his articles.

    Condolences to his family and friends.

    I'll raise a glass later in his memory.

  24. Locky

    Blimey Charlie, sad news indeed

    Please pass on our thoughts to his family

  25. sandman

    Sincere condolences to his family and colleagues. We'll all miss him as ell.

  26. TitterYeNot

    Here's to you Lester. So long, and thanks for the SPB.

  27. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

    Terribly sad news

    I didn't always agree with Lester's views but I enjoyed hearing them and the spirit with which he presented them.

    We often don't realise quite how much someone has become part of our own lives until they are gone. He will be missed.

  28. FrogsAndChips Silver badge
    Paris Hilton


    Bye Lester, and thanks for making our Fridays at the office so much more enjoyable!

    Is that a tear I can see in Paris' face?

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can we see a playmobil tribute?

    Also if he's being cremated, got a weather balloon handy?

  30. Ketlan

    So sad

    Sad and shocking news. So young, too. Condolences to his family and all at the Reg. He will definitely be missed.

  31. m0rt

    It is rarely that I get a shock when reading things in the general press, but I have to say that this really hit.

    I have enjoyed Lester's articles and wit over the years. He certainly was a character. I shall miss him. Condolences to his family, and to those that knew him.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      You just took the words from my mouth. I can't remember the last time I actually felt short of breath when reading or watching news, paper or tv intertubes or otherwise. But now I'm just stunned. Bloody hell. I hope that says enough.

  32. Joe Drunk

    Condolences to his family and close friends

    55 is too young. A huge loss to The Register and to regular readers such as myself.

  33. bon_the_one


    I didn't always agree with him, but his writing was always entertaining and well informed.

    My thoughts are with his family and the team at el Reg.

    Maybe it's time for LOHAN to fly in His memory...

  34. jurgen

    This is such sad news. My deepest condolences to his family, and his to workmates at the Reg. This publication will be less fun without his words.

  35. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    FFS! This year just keeps getting worse

    RIP. Thoughts to family and friends.

  36. Anonymous Coward

    ah no


  37. Anomalous Cowturd
    IT Angle

    Rest in peace Lester.

    My deepest condolences to his family and friends at this difficult time.

    No matter how old you get, nothing prepares you for a sudden loss, like this one.

    Icon used to contain a gravestone...

  38. Rob Daglish

    Bon Voyage Lester...

    ...I always enjoyed Lester's articles, he always seemed to be enjoying himself, and I suspect he'll be sorely missed at El Reg. My deepest sympathies to his family at this awful time.

  39. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    Very sad news indeed

    Way too young indeed! I always thoroughly enjoyed his writing, and all the special projects he was involved in. My condolences to all his loved ones and colleagues. Will raise a glass of my best whisky this evening. I suggest the first new crazy balloon launched missile or plane be dubbed the "Lester Haines" in his honour, better still, name the SPB after him (assuming it will carry on his good work).

  40. Preston Munchensonton


    Never fun to think about what happens after:

    mv person > /dev/null

    RIP, Lester.

  41. mdubash

    RIP Lester :(

  42. TRT

    I'm guessing this is for real...

    No humorous social engineering demonstration? Sad news indeed. Top vulture. Condolences to the family. :(

  43. Roq D. Kasba

    Fuck. Lester, you brought a lot of joy, RIP

    Condolences to his family. I'm genuinely shocked and sorry for your loss.

  44. Gotno iShit Wantno iShit

    RIP Lester, far too young.

  45. Shadow Systems

    *Raises a tankard in salute*

    Rest In Peace good Sir, you will be sadly missed.

    May your family, friends, coworkers, & readers share a respectful moment of silence in your honour.


  46. joeW


    Lester's SPB articles were the reason I started reading El Reg. I always enjoyed how he joined in the comments on his articles too.

  47. Joe Werner Silver badge

    He will be missed by his readers, but even more by his family and friends. My thoughts are with them.

  48. BoldMan

    Thanks Lester, you will be missed!

    This is terrible news, he will be sadly missed. Always enjoyed his articles.

    OMG we are the same age!!!

  49. clanger9

    Thanks for all the laughs

    Sad, sad news. Taken way too early.

    7,000+ stories is a good ol' legacy! You made us smile & laugh, that's what counts...

  50. jonathan1


  51. hplasm



    What else can I say. Condolences to all who knew him.

  52. MJI Silver badge

    What a shock

    RIP Lester.

    55 is no age as well

    So sad

  53. TRT

    Can we do something about the sponsored thing at the bottom of the article, please?

    Not in the best taste.

    1. Paul Kunert

      Re: Can we do something about the sponsored thing at the bottom of the article, please?

      This was updated as soon as we realised, it was certainly not deliberate. Paul at The Reg

  54. Heironymous Coward

    Shame, he was still young

    Sad indeed when an iconic personality like Lester is taken too early.

    Any possibility of making a 'Lester' icon, to mark comments laden with his epic style of humour? Some of the ones on the bottom row are almost never used...

    1. graeme leggett Silver badge

      Re: Shame, he was still young

      I'll second that. Pipe also required.

    2. Rodrigo Valenzuela

      Re: Shame, he was still young

      While I agree with the "Lester Icon", I think that it should be earned or awarded.


      1. Adam 1

        Re: Shame, he was still young

        Or automatically applied to any post with exactly 55 votes.

      2. goldcd

        Re: Shame, he was still young

        Should require your username to have appeared outside of the earth's atmosphere.

  55. lafnlab

    Good riddance

    Your mother was a bacon sarnie and your father was a weather balloon...

    Just kidding. The Reg won't be the same without your entertaining articles.

  56. Ambivalous Crowboard

    So long, and thanks for all the fis^H^H^Hchuckles

    Wow! Condolences to the team and his family, he was a great writer and will be missed!

  57. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    No one is really dead whilst they are still being talked about

    And we'll be talking about Mr Haines for a good while yet.

    The power of Marmite to you!

  58. JimboSmith Silver badge

    RIP my thoughts are with his family and the El Reg Staff.

  59. Rodrigo Valenzuela

    Sad news

    My most sincere condolences to his family and friends.

  60. Peter Galbavy

    Onto the next project...

    RIP Lester

  61. Anonymous Coward

    "all-round good bloke"

    I'd settle for that as an epitaph.

  62. Whitter


    I very much enjoyed his work here.

    Condolences to all his friends and family.

  63. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh no. Pratchett, Banks, Lester

    I feel like I did when I heard about Sir Terry and Ian. Lester, you might not have been a world famous author selling millions of books, but you had the same spirit as those blokes (and indeed, Douglas Adams).

    I will miss you. My sincerest condolences to your family and loved ones.

    1. Mr Sceptical


      My thoughts exactly - FFS GET YOUR BONY HANDS OFF MY FAVOURITE WRITERS! ;-((

      If William Gibson suddenly croaks it, I'll know there's a supernatural conspiracy against me.

      Like all here, my deepest condolences to his family - I'll raise a glass (or two) in your memory tonight.

      I second putting his ashes on LOHAN, it is the only suitable send-off, but they'd need to go into orbit, not return to this vale of tears...

    2. 9Rune5

      Re: Oh no. Pratchett, Banks, Lester

      Well, pTerry's passing was at least not all that sudden.

      Douglas, and now Lester, OTOH were sudden indeed.

      I can easily name a dozen politicians or so that I would gladly trade up for one of these good blokes. Where can I reach the hooded one, the one carrying a scythe and speaking in SMALL CAPS? Surely a deal could be struck? Give us Lester back, or we will off a dozen politicians at once, making them Death's problem. (really a win-win for us either way)

      All kidding aside: RIP Lester.

      1. MJI Silver badge

        Re: Oh no. Pratchett, Banks, Lester

        After last weeks incedent up north, I'd be careful what you wish for.

        Try reality TV contestants

  64. RussT

    Very sad reading on El Reg today... So Long Lester :(

  65. Belperite


    RIP Lester.

  66. martins321

    Terrible news, my condolences to his family.... :-(

  67. Eliot B

    Even when I stopped following the tech world professionally, Lester's were some of the articles that kept me coming back to El Reg. RIP.

  68. Marek Szuba

    Goodbye, Lester

    You will be missed... Your work on the special projects aside, It was a blast reading about your woes getting your Spanish home livable... as well as pretty much everything you wrote.

  69. diskmonkey

    Sad news

    My condolences to his family and friends. May he rest in peace.

  70. llmora

    Thanks Lester

    The SPB articles were some of the funniest and inventive I have ever read, The Reg will not be the same without you!

  71. Shrek

    Sad news.

    What an embuggerance.

  72. NoneSuch Silver badge

    A good man and a great guy. Cheers Lester.

  73. Unep Eurobats

    Awful news

    I always enjoyed reading his articles. I'm sorry.

  74. ElReg!comments!Pierre

    Oh snap

    The man litterally gave his life for science. Testing the post-pub Nosh Neckfillers should be recognized as an occupational hazard.

    Here's to you camarada!

  75. Huntsman

    Lester was my favourite contributor to the site. 55 is no age, my condolences go out to his family.

    I will raise a glass in his honour this evening.

  76. Woodgie


    To one of the consistently best IT journalists ever to coin a phrase.

    You'll be missed, sir.

    (though probably not by Apple)

  77. MonsieurInconnu

    Thanks Lester

    Your articles are what helped draw me to The Register - you'll be sorely missed. My thoughts and condolences to his family and friends. I raise a glass for him whilst he takes up his role at Special Projects in the sky.

  78. MJI Silver badge

    Just looked and

    His last article was about Pasties.

    Remember him when you next eat a hot snack.

  79. Franco Bronze badge

    My sympathies to Lester's family, friends and colleagues.

    I greatly enjoyed reading most of his articles, particularly the Post Pub Nosh Neckfiller series and will this evening be having Nasi Goreng Pattaya in tribute.

  80. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Now we have to figure out what legendary post-pub extravaganza did him in.

  81. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

    Fair winds and following seas, good sir.

    Deepest condolences family, friends, and colleagues. Although I only knew him through his often brilliant writing I, too, am lessened at his passing.

    Thank you Lester for everything. May you rest comfortably and eternally. Cheers, mate.

  82. Chris G

    RIP to a great shederist

    A shock to see the headline just now, I will miss your articles and the great humour displayed in the playmobil settings.

    My condolences to all who knew him.

    I hope Lester's successor in the SPB will do justice to his work, Garden Shederism at it's best.

  83. Bob Starling

    That's an unwelcome shock

    So many times I have enjoyed an article here and checked back for the author to find it was Lester. Condolences to his family and friends.

    RIP, you will be missed.

  84. 0laf Silver badge


    I did enjoy his writing, 55 is no age at all.

    I lost my partner at a young age earlier this year so my thoughts and sympathies are with his family at what will be a very sad and difficult time.

  85. Dazzz

    RIP dude

  86. disgruntled yank

    Very sorry to hear this.

    Condolences to family and colleagues.

  87. Spanners Silver badge

    Too Young

    I agree with what others have said, some ashes should be taken up by the next Vulture Flight and released .

  88. Bigpatc

    All of Ohio will miss you

    I think Ohio will stop doing stupid and go down the straight and narrow. Just kidding. I have been reading for 15 years and you have been keeping me ahead of my neighbors and the machines. RIP. You are missed.

  89. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    TOP man

    Hits F10.

    R.I.P. Lester, my condolences to his family.

  90. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Gone Early to Prepare for Latecomers

    Until we meet again on the other side, ... Bon Voyage, LH, and thanks for all the words opening up worlds.

  91. Dr. Mouse


    Raising this to you -->

  92. Harry the Bastard

    sad sad news

    condolences to his family and friends

  93. Stevie


    Ah damn. I thought the world felt a bit tight around the hips this morning.

    A large mind in a world of smaller ones.

    So long, and thanks for all the words.

  94. Qwelak


    R.I.P. Lester, will miss your stories

  95. Andrew Moore


    The title says it all...

  96. Anonymous Coward

    This is very sad news indeed ...

    RIP Lester

  97. vonBureck

    We'll see you on the Great Paper Plane in the sky

    Absolutely shocking news, seems only the good die young... Heartfelt condolences to the family, and I will raise a glass to you tonight, Les - have one on me up there.

  98. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Condolences to Lester's family and friends. He'll be greatly missed by us Commentards as well. Damned shame he didn't get to see LOHAN launched. :-(

  99. Anonymous Coward

    How terribly sad.

    My post pub cookery reached new heights through Lester's gastronomic journey around the world.

    My thoughts go out to his family.

  100. Sartori

    Thank you Lester!

    Wow, this came as a shock today, have read, laughed and loved many of his articles over the years. He was most definitely a big part of El Reg and one of the writers whose articles I would always look out for.

    Very sad to hear this, RIP and hope that his friends and family take some small solice in how many people loved what he did and will remember him fondly. Here's to you Lester!

  101. jonathan keith

    Vale Lester Haines

    If you judge a man by his works, Lester was an absolutely top-drawer chap. I'm just glad that I've been able to delight in his inspired shed-based excellence.

    2016, will you please just stop now?

  102. roytrubshaw
    Paris Hilton


    RIP Lester, looks like SpaceX has a clear run now ...

  103. Mephistro

    S.T.T.L., my friend, and thank you!.

  104. PleebSmasher

    Pours out 40oz of malt liquor

    Into the ground

  105. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A genuinely witty writer who gave good all round replies to commentards whether that to jovially mock or to correct. I personally enjoyed his articles and wit. May he be remembered well. RIP.

  106. Anon


    He helped make the world a better place. RIP, Lester.

  107. Bronek Kozicki

    very sad news

    Condolences to the family

  108. Hollerithevo

    True loss

    His articles woke me up, amused and informed me. He was a daily presence in my life. He will be missed. My thoughts go to his family and colleagues.

  109. TMMITW

    words fail

    Lester was one of the good ones.

  110. AbelSoul


    A bit of a shock reading this.

    R.I.P. Lester.

  111. Slartybardfast

    RIP Lester

    It was an honour to read your posts over the years. You always seemd like someone it would have been good to have gone and had a few beers with. There is no higher tribute in my books.

  112. Andy Taylor

    Sad news. Condolences to all.

  113. Paul Woodhouse
  114. Bob Vistakin

    Part of the furniture

    RIP man - you made a huge difference.

  115. magickmark


    So sad to hear this. My thoughts are with his friends and family.

    He will be missed.

  116. Pirate Dave Silver badge


    Peace to you on your new journey, Lester. You'll be missed greatly, and it's sad to see you go so soon, but now you've got a better vantage point from which to watch our further follies of ballockets and rocketooning.

    Ad Astra Tabernamque.

  117. Mint Sauce


    that is all.

  118. Snar

    I'm so sad to hear this. Lester was easily my favourite El Reg journalist. I will never forget "Bloke takes missus up the Oxo Tower".

    My condolences to his family, friends and colleagues.

    RIP :(

  119. Ripper38

    My favourite

  120. Sir Sham Cad

    Blue skies Lester.

  121. Eddy Ito

    Cheers mate. It won't be the same without you.

    My condolences to the family.

  122. Vinyl-Junkie


    ....I will raise a beer to a true British eccentric, who made us smile and laugh by sharing his eccentricity and his passion for engineering with us all.

    Rest in Peace, Lester, and give my regards to PTerry

    My condolences to his family.

  123. Nunyabiznes

    Thanks to Lester for all of the entertainment and education I got from his contributions to the Reg.

    I wish I would have gotten to meet you.

    Rest in Peace.

  124. gotes

    Another one

    El Reg will never be the same again, RIP Lester.

  125. Antron Argaiv Silver badge


    I'll miss his writing. Lester was a gem, and his articles were always interesting.

    My deepest sympathies to his family and those who loved him.

    RIP, Lester, and many thanks.

  126. Nick Woodruffe

    RIP Lester.

    Thanks for the email chats about rockets and rocket regulation.

  127. Groaning Ninny


    Really sorry to hear this. I've enjoyed Lester's bits and bobs for many a year, and can only imagine the impact this will have on those close to him. Lester - thanks.

  128. Novex

    R.I.P. Lester. 55 is too young these days.

  129. MaxHeadroom

    El Reg is not going to feel like quite the same place. Sad day.

  130. Jeremy Maccelari

    Condolences - I will miss his fantastic articles and work....

  131. jamesi

    Oh Lester, we'll miss you terribly.

    Is the Reg going to do a collection for funeral expenses or anything like that? I recall particularly he has at the very least a daughter and speaking as another middle aged guy who's got a couple of those wandering around the house, a sudden lack of income provider for a family is a big initial shock even aside from the heartache. If we can smooth the bumps I'd certainly be in.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      James1 thanks for the thoughts. It is a huge financial shock for his family. We have covered his funeral expenses and are considering how best to help his wife and daughter.

  132. marcusjam

    a great man

    I'm proud to say I knew Lester way back in his early days before El Reg, and he was one of the nicest people I've known. He was especially nice when he was borrowing a tenner off you to buy his round ;-) He was full of life, never quiet and always brimming with ideas, a real larger than life man. I spent many a happy hour with Lester in the pubs of London and will raise a pint or two to the man tonight.

    RIP Mate

  133. digjamman

    Uncle Lester

    Good day all

    I am Lesters nephew and behalf of his family we would like to thank you for all your kind words and messages. He clearly was a well respected man known not only for his fierce intelligence but also his biting humour. It is some consolation to know that he had some impact on so many people and we really do appreciate your wishes and support. Although the man is gone he will live on through his writings and achievements. I'll be raising a glass tonight in honour of the legend Les and hope you will do the same. I know he would have appreciated it.

    Sean Haines

    P.s I don't know about you all but i'm gonna miss the post pub nosh neckfillers

    1. Dave 32

      Re: Uncle Lester

      My deepest condolences from the left side of the pond. He was well respected over here on this side of the planet, too.


    2. Eddy Ito

      Re: Uncle Lester

      Good day Sean,

      I hope and trust that all are as well as can be and would like the family to know that Lester has been an inspiration because of what may have been conceived as back yard boffinry with such projects as PARIS and LOHAN. All you have to do is look at all the attempts to beat the PARIS world record to know that Lester and the SPB has touched the imaginations of a great many people and through basic simplicity made it accessible to everyone even the youngest generation of STEM students. It truly is an amazing accomplishment and I hope that Lester realized just how much of a difference he actually made.

      If you'll pardon me at this point, I have to dry my eyes and raise a single malt to a man upon whose shoulders will stand many a STEM graduate.


    3. Oz

      Re: Uncle Lester

      Condolences to all you. 55 is really no age :-(

  134. Benchops

    A loss to the world, and especially to his family. Heartfelt condolences to them. El Reg, I'm sure at some point you could gather up all these comments to pass on to the family. They mostly read the same and individually they probably aren't much help, but the number of them might offer some comfort that Lester was considered a friend in the pub by so many of your readers.

  135. dajames

    Condolences all round.

    Beer ... 'cos I'm sure Lester wouldn't have wanted us all moping.

  136. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    I've nothing to say,

    Too upset (reaches for Lohan mug for consolation, while wishing I'd got the glass for a more appropriate beverage).

  137. Alistair

    Sad, very sad to see such wit depart.

    I'll definitely raise a dram to salute him, and can only offer <long distance,digital> hugs and best wishes to his family.

    Now, Trevor, lets get the LOHAN stuff up here and we can fire it off in northern Saskatchewan in salute.

    <somewhat scary since we share a phenotype and an age>

  138. Robert E A Harvey

    We shall not see his like again.

    What will El Reg be without him

  139. Tempest8008

    55? Too soon...

    Gone too soon, my friend.

    Gone too soon.

    Hopefully his family will take what solace they can in just how many people Lester's work touched.

  140. intlabs

    My thoughts go out to his family, especially those that we got to accompany on his mad escapades. Lester was without doubt my favourite Reg contributor. From gastric monstrosity's, and dodgy plumbing, to a private space program; bringing wit and a genuinely charming attitude to every article he touched.

  141. Barely registers


    X-Clacks-Overhead:GNU Terry Pratchett Lester Haines

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: RFC

      Weird, I was thinking the same thing and already added Lester in my Pan profile too. He certainly ranks with Sir PTerry as person in my opinion.

      So long as one is remembered, one is never truly gone.

  142. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is this the end of humor on The Register?

    Lester Haines and his sense of humor and playfulness was one of the main reasons for reading this web mag. So many used to question the IT content of certain articles of his. Lester was always good for some snappy repartee with a reader.

    Godspeed Lester, you will be missed. I wish him and his loved ones well, add his ashes to Lohan and distribute them worldwide. May the deity of your choice lift you from this onerous life. My dad used to say "Live fast, Die Young, and Leave a Good Looking Corpse". 55 is too young though, especially as I turned 60 this year.

    Now there is one less reason to visit. I don't see the current crop having the same sense of humor that Lester had.

    Over the years, the flexibility and humor of this site has declined, becoming less enjoyable and more SJW oriented. Moderation has turned into PC censorship on far too many websites, including this one.

    However when they went on the politically correct employee purge after the enviro-dingbats got too mouthy, they lost many of their long term viewers as evidenced by a totally different crop of handles being shown. You might want to re-think your management and hiring process in light of that. Especially when you replace Lester!

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: Is this the end of humor on The Register?

      Oh, I just thought the old handles had slowly died off.

      There really was a purge after Fukushima?

      RIP Lester, he's gone to the special projects bureau in the sky

    2. cdilla

      Re: Is this the end of humor on The Register?

      I agree entirely. My own visits have dwindled for this very reason.

  143. Florida1920

    Sometimes controversial, but truly will be missed

    Hope the Reg can re-run some of his work over the coming months.

    1. FrogsAndChips Silver badge

      Re: controversial

      No, he wasn't.

  144. Tim Greenwood

    Very sad news

    I am not usually inclined to comment much on here. But in this instance am very shocked and saddened to hear the news of yet another untimely death, and wish to add my regrets to all the others. Like many I appreciated the humour and the apparent honesty of his writing.

    Condolences to family and friends.

  145. Sporkinum

    Sorry to hear that.

    Always enjoyed his work. Hope the family is doing well. He will be missed greatly!

  146. mjc72

    R.I.P. Lester

    My thoughts and condolences to his friends and family.

  147. deive


    My dad died @ 55 of the big C... too young :-(

    I will miss his article like everyone else here!

    Condolences to his family.

  148. GrumpenKraut


    RIP Lester, hope there's beer in the special bureau in heaven. =---->

  149. bigphil9009

    R.I.P Lester

    My thoughts and condolences are with his family, and his friends all over the world.

  150. Angus Wood

    How sad

    I really enjoyed his stuff. And only 55 years old, what a shame.

  151. Dan Wilkie

    Well shit :(

  152. firu toddo


    Go easy Lester. The afterlife is better place now.

    Hugs to all his family, friends and colleagues.

  153. Mike Moyle

    A fine writer and -- more importantly -- apparently, a good man.

    May his family and friends find strength and love in this hour of their loss.

    Blessed be.

  154. Snake Doctor

    Raising a Virtual Glass

    Sad day :-(

  155. PrivateCitizen

    2016 sucks

    This is shocking news and my heart goes out to his close friends and family. I am truly saddned to read this and there is nothing I can really add to what everyone else here is saying.

    This really is a crap year.


  156. Law


    Lester was one of my favourite authors here. Genuinely saddened by this!!

  157. Anonymous Coward

    Sad news!

    There are plenty of tech publications, but Lester's combination of quirky wit, applied technology and continuous amusement helped make The Register special.

  158. Anonymous Coward
  159. narbadingi


    I hate you. What's the big idea, going and dying on us like that? Ruddy selfish, that's what I call it. Who's going to be so wonderfully politically incorrect now to raise smiles amongst the downtrodden masses out here? You were a joyous sparkle amongst the sea of bland grey. Uncontroversial bilge will be ever more expansive without your withering eye to report upon it and make us think.

    May your colleagues aspire to your dizzy heights, and may El Reg never bend to dogma of the day.

    I'll effing miss you, you brilliant bastard.

  160. Charlie Clark Silver badge


    Lester's articles really embodied the spirit of The Register and helped to make it not just another IT news website. It was the sort of clever nonsense that even us skinflints would consider paying for.

    My thoughts are with his family, friends and colleagues.

    Not that this is in any comfort to the family but we need some kind of scholarship to fund research that can demonstrate that bacon and beer had nothing to do with it (I think this is probably the case at 55). Lester himself was a pioneer in this area!

  161. OliP

    Horrible news to hear - feeling quite sad in the office now.

    To the pub....

    As has been said Rest In Playmobile

  162. davidp231

    Pint, for obvious reasons :(

  163. JimmyPage Silver badge

    What can I say. RIP

    One of the Regs stars.

    ---------------------> have one in heaven for me :(

  164. What? Me worry?


    Stunned. My sincerest condolences to his family; and the usual suspects at El Reg.

  165. Doogie Howser MD

    RIP Lester

    Loved your biting wit - best wishes to family and friends at this sad time.

  166. Tom Jasper

    Rest in piece, Author 29.

    Many an article enjoyed.


  167. SW10

    Pipes, commandeered kids and Spanish bar-flies...

    ...that's the way to advance science.

    My condolences to the kids and their mother. I'm sure they have extraordinary memories and I encourage them to wallow in the best ones.

    I am wiser for much of what he wrote.

  168. MonsieurTM

    A tragic loss; before his time. My thoughts go to his family, for which nothing can comfort that loss.

    I will miss his excellent articles on the military. His wit. His contribution to Great British Boffinry. It is a loss that he will never see LOHAN launched (and curses to the FAA).

    I too shall raise a glass of the "Blue Vodka"* in his honour & hard work at the SPB.

    * Alcohol-based rocket fuel during the Great Patriotic War was coloured blue in an attempt to identify those soldiers desperate enough to drink it, e.g. during the Siege of Stalingrad, amongst other less comfortable engagements on the Eastern Front.

  169. Anonymous Coward

    This is sad enough that I shall use my special word...


    My condolences to Lester's family and friends, we will remember him.

    I shall be making a dedication over my next bacon sarnie, and choosing my sauce variety carefully.

  170. Alistair Dabbs


    I hardly know what to say. He felt like part of the family.

  171. This post has been deleted by its author

  172. Hedgehog Spen
  173. Hopper262

    Lester's writing was full of life

    I never knew him outside these pages, but I suspect Lester packed more living into his 55 short years than I or most of us would in 100. From gastronomic adventures to art in prose and Playmobil to making a living in tech while not being able to run two appliances simultaneously, Lester's charms and quirks elevated El Reg in a way no other could.

    My thoughts go out to his friends, neighbors, and all the other acquaintances co-opted into his articles and pictures over the years. Whether it was true or not, his articles always made me feel like he was doing what he loved, and inspired me to do the same.

    Of course the man himself can never be replaced, but I hope El Reg keeps the spirit of his contributions alive by bringing us other authors as offbeat, personal and personable. Man cannot live on channel rumors and software-defined networking roundups alone; Lester was a big part of reminding us that work and play are equally vital parts of life.

  174. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Well, shit.

    Godspeed, Lester - you were one of the good ones. I'll miss your special blend of words, I've learned stuff from you. Heartfelt condolences to family, friends, the team at El Reg and my fellow commentards.

  175. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

    El Reg simply will not be the same.


    RIP good sir! Really enjoyed reading your articles. A part of EL Reg's soul has sadly died :-(

  177. cdilla

    Quite the best hack on the Register. Raised many a smile with his intelligent and humourous style. You could tell from the many many comments to his posts that he well and truely educated and entertained us.

    The Register and the world is a poorer place.

  178. Johnny Canuck


    Lester. You will be missed.

  179. Don Dumb


    I'm sure many have already said it but I will nonetheless add my thanks to Lester and my condolences to his loved ones.

    He has made his mark and I am personally grateful to Lester for being one of the people that made The Reg the enjoyable mix of both serious and frivolous.

  180. It wasnt me
    Thumb Down

    Really rubbish

    So sorry for everyone at the Reg and particularly his family.

    I'm utterly surprised at how sad this had made me feel. Ive been reading the Reg for as long as I can remember and genuinely always loved Lester's articles. The world is a worse place today.


    1. Kurt Meyer

      Re: Really rubbish

      @ It wasnt me

      "I'm utterly surprised at how sad this had made me feel. Ive been reading the Reg for as long as I can remember and genuinely always loved Lester's articles."

      Thanks for writing that. I too, am surprised at the sadness I feel, and the sense of loss. I always read Lester's articles first, and with eager anticipation. As many other posters have remarked, his style of writing was an all too rare combination of the informative coupled with a wry sense of humor, the very embodiment of "Biting the hand that feeds IT".

      One of many such writers in the earlier days of El Reg, he stood out more and more as the site continued to pale around him. He may be replaced, he will never be duplicated.

      RIP Lester

  181. Rusty 1

    For the many wonderful articles you have written, you will never be forgotten.

    Some of the most memorable involved Rockall. They had me gripped. You understood the challenges through your experiences - that is gold.

    For all that you have attempted, achieved, and cooked, I salute you, sir.

  182. Anonymous Blowhard

    Very sad to hear of Lester's untimely death; he'll be missed.

  183. kars1997

    RIP Lester. I loved his stories, he will be missed.

  184. Terrence Bayrock

    RIP Lester

  185. Blofeld's Cat

    GNU Lester Haines

    Sad news. Lester managed to hit that happy balance between information and humour which made his articles so enjoyable.

    Condolences to his family, friends and colleagues.

    The world of "garden shed" engineering will never be the same again.

  186. ridley


    RIP Lester

    I am genuinely shocked and very sad. His love of engineering wit and obvious joy at the absurd made reading the Register something I came back for again and again. I will genuinely miss him, strange to say about someone I never met.

    My condolences to his family, friends and all those who had the privelidge of knowing him.

  187. Jim McDonald

    So young...


  188. Number6


    RIP Lester, you will be sadly missed.

    Perhaps LOHAN needs to be renamed to LESTER, not an acronym, it just stands for a really good bloke.

    1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

      "Perhaps LOHAN needs to be renamed to LESTER, not an acronym"

      Lester would not miss an opportunity to conjure up another backronym. It would be fitting to return the favour. Or at least try to.

      Launching Exceptional Spacecraft Towards Edges of Realm?

      Thank you, Lester, for daring to be a joyful chap despite life's little challenges.

  189. A Ghost


    to his family, and friends and colleagues.

    R.I.P. Lester.

  190. noodle heimer

    way too fucking soon

    ouch. Enjoy every sandwich, as Mr. Zevon pointed out.

  191. wx666z

    R.I.P. Sir

    What a shock. Condolences to family and co-workers. We all will miss him.

  192. cd / && rm -rf *


    Words fail me. Condolences to friends and family. El Reg will never be the same, and the world of IT reporting is the poorer for it. Looks like DevOps has won :(

    Adiós Lester. Vaya con Díos, mi amigo loco. Tomar una cerveza en el cielo, pensando en tí y su família y sus amigos en el bar.

  193. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

    Shocked. RIP Lester

    He will be missed. My condolences to his family.

  194. TM2015

    RIP good sir

    Lester was my favourite Reg contributor by some way. His style was so recognisable, and his wit so polished. I particularly enjoyed that is articles were often utterly unrelated to IT so provided a few minutes of "non computing" during a computer-filled working day. His pieces about his Special Projects Burro were a particular delight.

    So sad for his family and friends. Hopefully he and his Burro can continue their work in the next world.

    RIP Lester.

  195. Bad Beaver

    My condolences

    Rest in peace, Lester Haines.

  196. Richard Kitch

    Very sad news, seeing his name as the byline usually guaranteed a good article. He will be missed.


  197. TX_SS

    Lexit ?

    I've had many 'o chuckle whilst reading Lester's works. I'll raise a pint and remember him well.

  198. Will Godfrey Silver badge


    Greatly enjoyed all his shenanigans, so I'll raise one of these to his memory ->

  199. FatGerman

    Look, 2016, just stop it

    My condolences to his family, friends, and colleagues. I didn't know him but he entertained me and made me laugh and generally seemed to simply be trying to have fun with everything - which is a trait to be admired and imitated. The world loses another man it could do with more of.

  200. E 2

    R.I.P. Lester, you were good guy.

  201. Ian Bush

    Apparently just beer is not enough ...

  202. cookieMonster Silver badge

    Not fair . .

    The universe is going to be a lot less interesting without him....

  203. Dave559

    Very sad to hear the news of Lester's passing. His articles were always amusingly entertaining, the escapades of the Special Projects Bureau were always interesting reading and genuinely quite inspirational. His writings provided an enjoyable interlude from the tedium of daily work for many more people than he knew in real life.

    My sympathies to his family, friends and colleagues.

  204. Down not across

    Thank you Lester, you will be missed

    I truly enjoyed your articles and comments. You managed to brighten dull and grim days by your witty and humorous writing. Things won't be the same without you.

    My most sincere condolences to your family, friends and colleagues.

  205. LesC

    A Sad Loss

    Here's a chlorine trifluoride to you, Lester, for bringing SPB / BACON / PARIS / LOHAN / rocketry to us commentards.

    Will be sadly missed.



  206. Graham Lockley

    So Long

    and thanks for all the wit

    Not going to be quite the same round here.

    Condolences to his family.

  207. Richard Wharram


    Condolences to his family.

  208. Rusty 1

    A token

    Is there a single token, of any nature, through which Lester may be remembered and identified by?

    I have tried to think of one for many hours, but my eyes keep filling up.

    In my mind, he is a legend. That will do.

  209. Bloakey1

    Sic Transit Gloria Mundi.

    Nuff said, good bloke.

  210. Borg.King

    Sad loss

    Lester will be greatly missed.

  211. John Gamble

    I am very sorry to hear this. It was always a pleasure to read anything by him, whether about the Special Projects or the whimsy about home and family.

    My deepest condolences to those who knew and loved him.

  212. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    Requiescat in pace

    Darn Lester! You cannot just grab your coat and leave. And who is now going to do the proper PlayMobil re-enactment of your funeral? You will be missed.

    My sincere condolences to his family and colleagues at El Reg.

  213. David Glasgow




  214. LINCARD1000

    I had hoped this was some sort of sad joke...

    ...but it doesn't look like it is. Not much to add that hasn't been said already and more eloquently by others. Never met him in person but always really enjoyed his work here over the many, many years.

    Wow, this has got me tearing up.

  215. joeW

    A thought

    As we all know, Lester did some sterling work raising funds for anti-malaria charity through his own quid-a-day nosh challenge and in starting up an El Reg Posse for same.

    Could we set up some sort of fundraiser in his memory? At least we'd have some small bit of good come from this utterly shit news.

  216. pctechxp



    His articles would brighten up a dull day and sometimes made me laugh so hard I'd be gasping for air.

    Sincere condolences to his family and colleagues.

    RIP Lester.

  217. MondoMan

    Sad news

    It was always immediately clear when an article had Lester as its author (usually in a good way :) . The culinary journeys, the journeys over land and water chasing after projects, and even tilting at windmills enriched my life on a far continent, as they did many others, especially those who knew him personally. My deep condolences to Lester's family and to the Reg family.

  218. Lunatik

    Aww, on an awful day just more sad news.

    Rest easy, man.

  219. Bluto Nash

    So long, Lester

    Only fitting thing to say is

    - 30 -

  220. energystar

    Didn't have the privilege to be here then.

    Already knowing He is a hugely missed Man. Cheers, Lester! You'll be called to Service soon again! Enjoy the evening!

  221. Bluto Nash

    A good man

    Used to enjoy not only his stories and overall writing, but his participation in the forums afterwards. A sign of someone who cared about his audience.

    Look down sometime, Lester, and you'll (eventually) see your LOHAN perform.

  222. C. P. Cosgrove


    A sad loss - I always enjoyed his writing.

    Please extend my sympathies to his family, and the mules.

    Chris Cosgrove

  223. ni!

    I finally signed up just to upvote others comments

    you'll be missed

  224. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Man Was A Legend

    What a huge loss for everyone who knew him through his antics or his writing of his antics.

    RIP Lester Haines.

    A very sad day - my deepest sympathies to family, friends and colleagues.

  225. banalyzer


    Terrible news, my thoughts are with his family and friends.

    I'll certainly raise a glass to him

  226. Keith 12

    Gods' speed Lester

    Always interesting and informative - we loved him.

    Humblest to Lester's Family and Friends - we will miss him - a wonderful guy.

    RIP Lester

  227. Tromos

    What everybody has already said... my personal thanks for all the hugely entertaining articles which often went on to produce some superb comment threads.

  228. JeffyPoooh



    Deepest, deepest condolences to his family, friends and colleagues at El Reg.

  229. Dr. G. Freeman

    It's going a bit blurry here.

    Goodbye, Lester. May your glass be never empty.

  230. Mike Echo

    Lester, you were always good for a laugh old son. Any time I saw your name on a byline, I always clicked to read the article as you rarely disappointed. Thanks for the smiles.

  231. ian 22

    Sorry mate, you will be missed.

  232. Matt Haines

    Big stones and Better Sarnies.

    Lester has left many of us in the world heartbroken, not only for his classy wit, snappy chat and incredible humor but also for his world class bacon eating abilities . I Drank and cried with the guy, i was even featured as an ugly bearded bloke in some of his posts, but what i remember most most of all was his overall enthusiasm for both his life and his readers and the continued effort he put into each of them (powered of course again by bacon sarnies).

    I think the words here tonight have spoken more of him than any of us can say and i want you all to know that your kind words have all been passed on.

    For all of those that had the heart to believe in a small space project and kick start the idea, i want you to raise those mugs tonight, i want you to once again believe in the spirit that has so much transcended that of the common dude, have a beer or a shot of bacon to my good old uncle.

    Godspeed Les, Ad Astra Tabernamque

    Ill meet you there


  233. pinkmouse

    As a pinko-commie-subversive vegetarian, I think I disagreed with just about everything he ever wrote for El Reg.

    I'll miss you mate.

  234. Martin Summers

    R.I.P Lester. One of the few Reg writers who responded and listened to commentards. You will be sadly missed.

  235. VeganVegan

    We will miss you, Lester

    More than anyone at El Reg, you built a community around the many interests you pursued.

    Our condolences to your family.

  236. Unicornpiss

    Best wishes

    Never met the man, but liked his work. Sadly, in the IT (and perhaps most engineering and technical) professions in general, life expectancy seems to be well down from many others. Ours is not a healthy world in general, with many of us being more sedentary than is good for us, not to mention chronic overwork and stress, and with a love of good food followed by a bit of the grape or malt to relax and forget when a hard day (most days) is done.

  237. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sad, sad, loss. Lester's articles were some of the best writing around. Unpretentious, funny and engaging. It feels in many ways that he is the Reg. I know you've got a server closet full of talent there, but Lester was one in a million. I hope his family gets something out of knowing how many people Lester has entertained and elightened from all over the globe.

  238. DiViDeD

    Genuinely sad for a man and his family I never met

    I have to admit that, when I read the comment from Lester's vetinary mate, my first thought was 'Oh yes, what's the old bugger up to this time?'

    Sad to lose such a genuinely clever and witty man and a true garden shed boffin. May LOHAN soar in his memory.

    I'm sure I won't be the only one raising several of these to his memory tonight.

  239. Kiwi


    I've enjoyed many of your articles over the years. You'll be missed

  240. Raphael

    I always enjoyed reading his articles and his wit.

    He will be missed. *raises glass in remembrance*

    My condolences to his friends and family

  241. Tom 64

    The passing of a legend

    Lester kept us entertained for a decade and a half, and will be sorely missed.

    Very sad day for El Reg.

  242. Chris Stephens

    OMG.. This is terrible.. Ive so enjoyed his work over such a long time.

  243. drone2903 in Kanuckistant

    To Lester's family and friends, my condolences.

    The man touched so many people across the globe by his humor, wisdom and passion.

    Many never met Lester in person, yet felt like close friends thanks to his articles.

    Godspeed Lester, and thank you. You will be missed.


  244. raving angry loony

    Oh damn!

    I liked his work. R.I.P.

  245. Daniel Voyce

    You introduced me to some of the most ridiculously amazing post-beer food recipes - I definitely nearly burnt my house down several times flitting between the frying pan and the computer whilst inebriated! Ill raise a glass to you this weekend - RIP!

  246. Haku

    A light went out at El Reg towers.

    And no amount of IT knowledge can replace it :(

  247. IvyKing

    Sad news indeed

    I enjoyed his writing and am sad hear about his passing.

  248. Mike Green

    Rest up fella, sounds like you've earned it.

    One of the contributors I would regularly read for his wit and wisdom. He'll be missed by us all.

  249. Hull

    Sad to see you go

    Your articles often pulled me up when I needed it. Condolences to your family.

  250. json

    Raising my LOHAN mug...

    RIP Lester..

  251. madhatt3r

    Real bad news. Condolences to his family and colleagues.

    Descansa en paz Lester.

  252. Anonymous Coward

    One of the reasons I signed up for El Reg

    au revoir Lester


  253. Carstairs

    Very sad

    All my condolences to his family and friends - extra sad to lose him so (relatively) young - and (I presume) suddenly.

    On a professional level, his articles (whether on the relatively-low-budget science and engineering SPB stuff), or foodstuffs, or downright daft stuff, were often informative, and *always* entertaining - in a heartwarming way.

    (The IT content was often non-existent, but who cares ...)

    A person who notably enriched life.

    Again - all my sympathies to family and friends.

  254. jake Silver badge

    Rest in peace.

    ::raises a homebrew in your honor::

  255. bugalugs

    Ashes to ashes

    Believe it we must

    A wee part of me

    Has just turned to dust

    Thank-you Lester, from all your fans, amen.

  256. MrDamage Silver badge

    Farewell Lester

    I'll be raising a glass or 5 to your memory, whilst going through some of your stories.

  257. imanidiot Silver badge

    RIP Lester. My condolances to family and friends. The good ones always seem to be taken too young.

  258. Ideala2

    So long...

    And thanks for all the articles.


    Condolences & good wishes to his friends and family.

  259. Nigel Cro

    Nothing to add...

    I can't add anything relevant or meaningful to what has been already said so eloquently by others...

    Condolences to family, friends and colleagues.

  260. Valeyard

    No way

    He'll be sorely missed, enjoyed a lot of his stuff. condolences to family and colleagues

  261. Mr C

    Rip Lester

    Go get some rest. Your stories will be missed

  262. SKC

    RIP Lester. You're really going to be missed around here.

    Condolences to his family and also to the wider El Reg family.

  263. Not That Andrew

    R.I.P. Lester

    He will be sorely missed. My condolences to his family.

  264. Chris Wicks 1

    A great man

    He'll be sorely missed.

  265. eLeft


    Perhaps LOHAN should deliver a small portion of his ashes into orbit, so he could continue to smile down on us?

  266. ufk

    A genuine loss.

    Thank you Lester for bringing a little daily light and laughter into my life for the past 15 years. R.I.P.

  267. John Malaney

    RIP Lester

    Condolences to Lester' s family, friends and all at El Reg.

    As others have mentioned Lester's articles have kept me coming back to the Register for many years. What no one has mentioned is his overall impact on GDP.

    Even whilst reading the comments in this article I got side tracked into an reading an article on haggis pakora and sent a colleague a link to the April fools sysadmins colouring book.

    No doubt he'll pass that on and half the team will lose another half-hour to Lester's incredible talent.

    He will be sadly missed.

    I too will be raising a glass to Lester this evening. RIP Old Chap though we never met I too feel I have lost a friend.

    1. Mario Becroft

      Re: RIP Lester

      You have said it better than I could.

  268. WaveyDavey

    Oh arse biscuits

    Really shitty news. One of the few true classy Reg journo's. I think SPB and PostPub Neckfillers were truly superb, and I will miss them deeply - even if someone steps into Lester's shoes, they will be far too big.

    This on top of my local MP 3 miles from my office. Worrying also that I am very very close to 55 myself - makes me consider my habits and choices.

    My GNU Clacks line is now longer, Lester has joined PTerry. No-one at work knows, but *I* do.

    Fly high, fly far, Lester.


    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oh arse biscuits

      "Close to 55" - That's young enough to forget about it for a while. At 63 1/2 and 2 years older than my dad at his demise, how do you think I feel?

    2. Marco Fontani

      Re: Oh arse biscuits

      ➤ curl -v -q -o /dev/null 2>&1 | grep Clacks

      < X-Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett, Lester Haines

  269. 8-{>

    What a very sad piece of news :( RIP Mr Haines The world is a much poorer place for you passing. I hope someone will pick up the torch of damn silly and awesomely Special Projects and see LOHAN finally take to the skies in your honour !

  270. Huw D

    Bugger, damn and blast

    RIP Mr Haines. A Master of mirth and silliness.

  271. lukewarmdog

    oh man :(

    This was a depressing thing to log into on a currently raining like crap Friday at a workplace that is being outsourced to the Cognizant monster. It would not be wrong to say sod it and go to the pub for a pint would it? I appreciate it's 10 am but if it's not wrong for pubs to serve beer, it can't be wrong for me to drink it. Right? Right.

  272. MnM


    That's really not on. He was great.

  273. John Smith 19 Gold badge

    Wow. 55 is practically nothing these days.


  274. Jedit Silver badge


    Hopefully Lester is not now a Bastard Operator In Hell. I'm told that down there they put tomato sauce on the bacon sandwiches instead of brown. Or as others would have it, both brown sauce and tomato sauce are available, but whichever you want the other one comes out of the squeezy bottle.

    (If you like both, you get mayonnaise.)

  275. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I loved the LOHAN articles and that sandwich one.

    RIP - will be missed.

  276. 2460 Something


    Thank you Lester for the countless articles I have enjoyed over the years. Condolences to your family and friends.

  277. Chris J


    I have thoroughly enjoyed El Reg's Spanish flavour. Lester will be sadly missed by his readership.

  278. PerlyKing

    RIP Lester

    I haven't got much to add, I just wanted to let Lester's friends and family know that his wit, work and humanity were appreciated by many, and that he will be sadly missed even by those of us who never met him.

  279. 8Ace

    Goodbye Lester

    Terrible news, I'd like to send my condolences to Lester's family and all his colleagues at The Register. He will be missed by us all.

  280. Huey

    Wouldn't let me post by mobile yesterday

    Was out watching the Eng Wales game yesterday when my better half text me to say she had heard about Lester. Very sad made me all the more proud I was wearing the 419 t-shirt that he designed at the time.

    We met once in a pub from the town he grew up in and I had moved to. I knew his brother and we all went out for a pint. We got on to chatting about jobs and he said he worked for an IT news site. I went through about 4 other journalists that wrote here before I got to his name and he was astounded that he'd met someone that bought something he'd done. Great night, great and funny man I will miss his articles. RIP Lester my thoughts are with your friends and family.

    1. digjamman

      Re: Wouldn't let me post by mobile yesterday

      Thank you for you kind words.

      Did you meet up in Faversham with Les?

      I am his nephew so the brother you know might be my dad

      Sean Haines

      1. Huey

        Re: Wouldn't let me post by mobile yesterday

        Hi Sean,

        It was indeed in Faversham. Ashley, myself and your uncle had a few jars & lots of laughs in the Chimney Boy as it was called then. One memorable evening despite the jars, it was a pleasure to have spent, albeit brief, that time in his company.

        Sorry for your loss but please know that he was loved by many. I have chuckled to many bootnotes stories only to see afterwards it was another one from Lester.

        Kind regards


        1. digjamman

          Re: Wouldn't let me post by mobile yesterday

          Hi Jim

          Ashley is my dad. I will pass on your condolences


  281. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I am so gutted by this news. I never got to meet Lester, but we regularly exchanged emails and he was every bit as funny, spiky and blindingly quick witted as his articles. He made me laugh - and for that thank-you.

    I can't imagine what his family are going through right now to lose someone so young, but there are thousands of people who want to thank them for sharing him with us.

  282. Manny Bianco

    RIP, Lester.

  283. Mario Becroft


    God. This is not how I wanted to end my week. I may not have known you Lester, but there is no question you are a fellow I would have liked to meet down at the local, had circumstances somehow made that possible. Through the unique style and wit that characterised your articles, I feel like I knew you Lester--such is the odd relationship between celebrities, writers and their public. We never really believe that the people we know, personally or at a distance, could just not be there any more.

    Perhaps I am over-sentimental today because I also recently lost a loved one, so the emotions are nearer the surface and the value of human life dearer to me just now than usual.

    I think I speak for all Reg readers when I say each of us has felt this as a body blow.

    RIP Lester. Thank you for taking the time to lighten our days through your contributions to the Reg. Sincere condolences to your family and close friends.

    The world is less one good man.

    Icon because if it was Lester's time to go out, he would have wished to do so in style.

  284. lexarama

    It's a conspiracy...

    I can only blame Lester's death on an unholy alliance of Strategy Boutique execs and our Robot Overlords who had finally had enough of his coruscating wit and tireless efforts to expose their relentless and now unstoppable overthrowing of all that is human and helvetica neue.

    RIP Lester. You were brilliant and would have shone in any journalistic or literary environment. That you chose El Reg as your soap box is as ringing an endorsement of the site as it's possible to have. Thanks for all the laughs and my deepest condolences to your family and friends.

    In other news, Playmobil shares plummeted this morning...

  285. Rob E


    That is a hell of a shock

    RIP Lester. I feel privileged to have met you. All the best on your future travelling amongst the stars :(

  286. detritus

    I have no words, just thoughts for his family and friends. I'm so sorry.


  287. TheBishop

    Sad news. He was a talented writer and his upbeat stories never failed to add colour to my day. As a permanent memorial to Lester I'd like to formally request that The Register sneaks the word "tomfoolery" into at least one article every week. Who's with me?

  288. NathanD


    Everyone's said it so very well already but condolences to his family, friends and colleagues.

    Pint raised in his honour today.

  289. Blank-Reg

    To you Mr Haines, thanks for the wit, amusement and entertainment over the years.


  290. Dabooka

    Fucking hell

    Just checked in for my lighthearted Friday reads and saw this.

    Awful news, I know us regular readersw ill be gutted by this.

  291. andy gibson


    Who the fuck downvoted Geoff May's first post?

    Show and explain yourself.

  292. twelvebore

    What a damned shame :( I aways loved reading his pieces.

    RIP and condolences to family and friends.

  293. T-Bo


    Stunning news - RIP Lester, you will be sorely missed.

  294. The Real Tony Smith

    I can just imagine an honour guard of playmobile figures


  295. hopkinse

    RIP Lester

    My life will be all the poorer for your passing. I learned all I know about digging wells from you!


  296. beerandbiscuits

    Sodding hell

    Bloody shock that. I too will miss his wit and irreverence. I hope there's a decent brewery up there.


  297. itwasntme


    I knew Lester back in days we both had the odd jar in the Wagon and Horses in Manningtree. A gentlemen and a damn good laugh, he gave me my first piece of vulture merchandise ( a baseball cap) when he started at El Reg. His articles have never failed to raise a smile. The pub has gone... and now Lester too… you will be sorely missed mate. I will raise a glass to you both this evening..

  298. Jim Anstiss

    Lester Haines R.I.P. (Re-create In Playmobil)

    Goodbye, Lester,

    So long and thanks for all the dioramas.

    I will raise a pint to you this lunchtime,


  299. mrslappy

    Sad News

    I've been reading El Reg since its early days, and always found Lester's contributions informative and entertaining. He brightened up many a dull, dull day at the office, and because of Lester I know a lot more about IT - and lots of other subjects - than I otherwise would. So sorry to hear that he has gone, especially at such a young age. He will be hard to replace. I hope that the suggestion to fire him into space can be made to work.

  300. emeterio

    Very sad

    It's very sad to hear that Lester is no longer with us.

    It was a pleasure to show him and Matt around our site at the European Space Agency last year.

    The sight of them walking around with white lab-coats and whipping a playmobil astronaut out in the satellite control room definitely caused a chuckle for the resident rocket scientists.

    RIP Lester


    European Space Astronomy Centre

  301. Conrad Longmore

    I has a sad

    Thank you Lester for making the world a funnier and more interesting place. You will be missed.

  302. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have played PARIS video to my girls to get them interested in space, science and the art of science for the sake of science. Garden Shed Tomfoolery and the idea of setting a world record, just because you can.

    The man was an understated-genius in many ways, and I feel sad for the loss to his family, friends, and those other technical loonies supporting him in pushing the SPB envelope.

    Like others, I'm not to impressed with 2016 at all.

  303. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Vale, Lester ... the Tibetan blackbird is shedding a tear.

  304. MT Field

    Shocking to hear this sad news. My condolences to his family, friends and colleagues.

  305. gaz 7


    That's sad news. Condolences.

    Lemmy, Bowie, Wogan, Prince and now Lester. 2016's becoming a really shit year. Just stop now Ok

  306. ukgnome

    Oh for fucks sake

    Lester was a true legend, his articles always and I mean ALWAYS made me smile.

    He will be sorely missed.

    I am gonna quaff and ale and have a post-pub nosh in his honour.

    2016 is the shittest year ever!

  307. earl grey

    Now get off my lawn

    We are all richer for him having been here.

    We are all poorer for his sudden departure for bluer skies.

    We are saddened by the loss to his family and friends (yes, even though we've never met in person).

    It's time to toast your goodness and forget your faults.

    You will be missed by all.

  308. Tony Armstrong

    May I say on behalf of his Scandinavian following : Lester will be truly missed.

    A wit, an El Reg star, a virtual friend.

    My friends and myself will raise a tankard in your honour this evening, Sir.

    No icon, as you were one.

  309. Tikimon

    The ranks of playful geeks are sadly diminished

    Lester was a gem. He was one of those geeks who understood that science and technology aren't dull edifices full of dusty tomes of inscrutable facts. For him it was all about learning and playing around with things and having fun. I shared the PARIS project with scores of people who were amazed that Just Regular Folks could send a paper plane to space and recover it intact. You can see what an inspiration he was by the many teams who tried to break the PARIS record and finally did.

    I'll miss that playful nature, his biting wit... oh you know it all already.

    Just damn. Never met Lester, but I'll miss him terribly.

  310. Christopher Rogers

    Sad news indeed

    Lester's articles where the sort you went looking for when you wanted some comic relief with your tech news.

  311. Alex Walsh

    RIP Lester. Can't compute the news :(

  312. Scroticus Canis

    Not Fair - Too Young

    Well that news has really put a damper on the day.

    Heartfelt condolences to his family, friends and all at El Reg.

  313. Winkypop Silver badge

    Thanks Lester

    Real English ale tonight in your honour.

  314. Banksy

    Sad news

    Sorry to hear about Lester passing away. RIP.

  315. Mikko


    I never met the man, yet this news hit me hard.

    Mr. Haines was perhaps the "voice" of The Register for me the past several years, and the reason for returning to the site. The humour was always there. Usually funny, rarely forced, never mean. And never detracting from the serious endeavours described in the various articles such as the post pub nosh series.

    All I can say is: thank you for that.

  316. Blitheringeejit

    So sad...

    A great writer and a rare talent for communicating sometimes-heavily-technical stuff accessibly, and with humour. It's that time on a Friday, so glasses will be raised, and memories cherished.

  317. anothercynic Silver badge

    He will be sorely missed!

    Lester penned some of the coolest stuff on here... he will be dearly missed!

    My condolences to you guys at El Reg and his friends and family. :-(

  318. JLV

    So sad, way too young to go.

    His articles were certainly among those who set this site apart, in a very good way and set the tone for clever levity and tech acumen.

    My thoughts and condolences to the many people close to him.

  319. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    Damn, that was not good news.

    Tonight, a pint.

    In the morning, bacon.

    And perhaps a quid a day for the rest of the week.

    RIP me old mate, and condolences to Katerina, Sean, and the rest of the family.

    p.s. it might lighten things a little if I report that our last emails were on the subject of computer controlled catflaps...

  320. keith_w

    He will be sadly missed. RIP Lester.

  321. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Will be missed dearly

    Great articles from a chap almost the same age as me, which makes it all the more shocking.

    Thoughts go out to his family, friends and readers.

    Will have a beer down the pub tonight in his memory.

  322. Jason 24

    RIP old chap

    Raising a beer >

    Your articles will be sorely missed.

  323. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well damn....

    I shall break a habit and raise a glass to the man for the many laughs and smiles he raised.

  324. David Haig

    RIP Lester

    Just posting my condolences - such a shame.

    Please remember the donkey

  325. Paul


    I'm very sad we've him to the great /dev/null in the sky

  326. spr97ajm

    Bad news. My thoughts are with his family, friends and colleagues.

  327. Herby

    Another reader writing with sadness...

    So many comments, so little time. So much sympathy to express.

  328. Someone Else Silver badge

    This was NOT the way I wanted to end the week!

    To you, Lester. Your wit, whimsy, and storytelling skills will be missed.

  329. Laura Kerr

    Annus horribilus

    Of all the sleb deaths that have occurred in the last few months - and the total has been well above average - Lester's passing has hit me the hardest. A fantastic journo; whenever I visit El Reg, I make a beeline for the Bootnotes. A few years ago, he even published a satirical advert I knocked up while bored on a con-call. The world's darker and the heavens are lighter tonight. He won't be replaced in a hurry - in fact, I'm not sure he can be replaced at all.

    And let's not forget those he left behind. Spare a thought for his daughters, who now have to face the future without their dad. We're all completely gutted here and most of us never met him, so think how his kids must be feeling.

    Rest in peace, Lester. No - in fact, don't rest in peace. Do what you've always done - hold a mirror up to the sanctimonious types up there who think they're better than everyone else and take them down a peg or three.

    Cheers, mate. It's been a blast. No El Reg regular will ever forget you.

  330. Anonymous Coward

    Cheers Lester

    You often made me laugh.

    You often made me think and reach for the keyboard.

    Thank you.

    My deepest condolences to your family.

  331. goldcd

    Take a moment to review his stories

    Quite a few in there that brightened up my life.

    Might be nice to setup something for his family - or more entertainingly explode his mortal remains in orbit. I'll leave the choice to those that knew and worked with him


    ..ignore me..

  332. Stuart Moore

    He had a real way with words and a sense of humour. One of the reasons I kept coming back here. My condolences to his family. You don't need telling that he was a top bloke, but I hope it helps a little to know that lots of us saw that too.

    So long and thanks for all the fish.

  333. DropBear

    Sincere condolences. I'm... just speechless right now. But I do raise my glass to the memory of Mr. Haines...

  334. Randolf McKinley

    Awww. Bugger. :(

  335. This post has been deleted by its author

  336. AmenFromMars

    Rest in Peace Lester

    I very much enjoyed your scribblings. Much love to you and yours x Too young :-(

  337. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    So sad to hear this. I saw the "Most Read" post title and thought it was Lester writing something funny or one of the other hack's about to rib him mercilessly.

    So so sad. My thoughts are with his family, loved ones and friends.

    I want to write something funny, but it does not seem the right time :(

  338. Paul 77

    Too young...

    Enough said by everyone else really. I'll miss the articles... I am just really shocked he's gone so young...

  339. Lghost

    Stunned and sad

    One of the funniest writers I have read, always looked forward to Lester's articles and comments, I was catching up ( not having been reading for a while ) and reading the comments on the pastie article, at 04.30 Saturday morning, when I saw the last three saying Lester had died, smiling at the article and the comments and then bang..Oh how those of us who read your words will miss you, and how much worse for your colleagues , friends and especially your family, deepest sympathy to your family especially..

    Jamesi suggested a collection or similar, maybe el reg would consider printing some of Lester's articles with the comments that they got into a book form and selling it ? proceeds to Lester's family..

  340. Lghost

    ps..maybe el reg could consider a Lester haines book

    Missed the edit window while I was trying to add this to my above post..Jamesi mentioned maybe a collection for Lester's family, what would be great if el reg could manage it, would be to produce a real paper book of some ( there are so many great ones ) of Lester's articles and allow us to buy copies..proceeds to Lester's family, he gave us a great deal of laughter and smiles, it would be a way of allowing us to give back..and it won't be easy for his family now he's gone..

    1. Piro Silver badge

      A real shame

      A sweet idea.

  341. Jimbo in Thailand

    Too sad!

    Never had the pleasure of meeting Lester but have certainly enjoyed his articles... and his wit... here at the theReg. DANG, 55 is just too young.

    Godspeed and RIP Lester Haines. You will be missed.

  342. DrJaymansLoveCookie

    Rip Lester.

    My condolences to his friends and family.

  343. Bubba Von Braun

    Truly sad news.. I have been trying along with others to smooth the way for Lohan.. I am deeply saddened that we were not able to make this happen for Lester.. sodding government folks.

    Fly high mate, and know that those you touched will remember you always.

    God Speed


  344. Piro Silver badge

    A real shame

    That's a real shame to hear. Only 55.

    A great loss for his family and everyone who reads El Reg.

  345. Jamesit

    You will be missed condolences to your family and friends.

  346. CliveS

    What a ride; sad it ended too soon

    From the Rockall Times to the Register Lester always managed to put a smile on my face. Bursting the balloons of pretentious pomposity and arrogance, but always with wit and humour. You'll be sorely missed mate. Sending thoughts to your family and friends.

  347. zanto


    His writing could coax a smile out even during very dark days. A very sad loss. My deepest sympathies to his family, theregister, and my fellow readers.

  348. Efros

    Haines' articles

    always guaranteed to raise a smile, your hunger level and pique your techie side. Lester will be sadly missed by all, condolences and kind thoughts to his family, friends and colleagues.

  349. Trollslayer

    The world has a little less colour.

    Thank you for brightening our world Lester.

  350. bpfh


    Rest in peace my Dear Sir. You left far too early and you will be missed.

  351. Jeffrey Nonken

    Oh, Lester, you left us too early. 55 is too young. We shall miss you. :(

  352. Lghost

    A Lester Haines commemorative book

    On reflection, a paper book would not be practical, it would be huge. But , it should be relatively easy to put all of Lester's articles ( with the full comments threads that they sparked ), the playmobile re-enactments, the photos and recipes, the interjected comments, the lot, ( just copy and paste what you have reg , exactly like we have read it , pages of HTML and jpegs ) including the photos of the great man and Emperor of the Chuckling Sheds and Rockets onto an USB key with the Vulture crest and fittingly inscribed to Lester Haines, make it available permanently for sale in the Vulture merchandise section..and again send all the profits and our sympathies and condolences to Lester's wife and children.

    it will be impossible to look at playmobile without a bitter-sweet smile thinking of you Lester, which is as it should be.

  353. Lee T

    ;-; damn.

  354. Nick Ryan Silver badge

    No, no, no. Tell me either I have the date wrong and this is a very poor April Fool's day joke or it's a case of mistaken identity.

    He's been a total top bloke to El Reg's commentards and a real asset to the place.

  355. Gezza

    All waypoints to my life are being retired

    this is getting to seriously piss me off. Another bulb blown. Lester - thankyou for making a decade of back-office tech admin less onerous, nay, giving me that smug 'If only you knew' sense of superiority over the cubicled sales drones and navel-gazing chinless wonders that weebled their way in and out of meeting rooms.

    <12 gun salute, flag lowered, lone firework shell arcing across the sky. Then the long trudge home, head down, collar up, hands deep in pockets, cursing the Gods at their stupidity.>

  356. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    Malaria No More

    Tara Sherjan, of Malaria No More, has asked me to express her sympathies to Lester's family and friends, and to say that her thoughts are with them at this very sad time.

  357. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

    Sad that the good guys pack up and leave, but the bad ones remain...

  358. John Malaney

    Lesters Wake

    We seem to be building up a groundswell of readers who will raise a glass to Lester individually this weekend but do we want to get together to give him a proper send off

  359. The Ignorant Contractor

    Loved the SPB and always read his articles. Condolences to his family and friends. The slightly sillier stuff he did made a lot of peoples' days just that little bit happier.

  360. Kepler

    ¡Vaya con Dios, mi amigo!

    I was so saddened to read of your passing two days ago. Even though I do not normally drink during the day, I immediately went and poured one for you. And because I have the liability of being a Yank, I actually took the trouble to open a second can, so I could get all the way up to a proper pint!

    (I did not throw the other 8 ounces away; I disposed of them suitably, and also in your honor. I am confident you would approve!)

    I never had the privilege of meeting you, but I know you were personally responsible for so much of what I love about El Reg. As I wrote just a few minutes ago, to a much-younger friend to whom I have recommended The Register:

    "[H]e was responsible for many of its humorous touches over the past 15 years, and for a lot of its general scientific bent as well. The combination of scientific rigor and general irreverence that I have so grown to love."

    So ¡Hasta luego!/¡Hasta mas tarde!/!Hasta que nos encontremos en el cielo!

  361. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sad news indeed.

    A good man gone, I shed some tears over this news.

    Well done for living a good life and accumulating more friends than you could ever meet face to face.

    That is an achievement few of us will ever accomplish.

    Love, K.


  362. Alan W. Rateliff, II

    A sad loss indeed

    Lester has provided me with many hours of wasted productivity reading his scribblings and mental projections. Mr. Haines shall be missed, and my heartfelt condolences to his friends and family, and much thanks for loaning him to us.

  363. Ian 5


    Thoughts for his family, and friends. A man like Lester comes along rarely.

  364. Kingston Black

    Farewell Lester

    and thanks for the many hours of enjoyment your garden shed boffinry and other musings brought us. My heartfelt condonlences to your family and friends. Take a crumb of comfort that many hundreds of people, most of whom who never met Lester, feel your loss as well.

    RIP and may LOHAN finally fly in your honour.

  365. 1Rafayal

    Condolences to his family and friends.

    I will definitely miss his writing here.

  366. Handy Andy

    How sad. RIP Lester, Top Bloke.

  367. Christopher Lane

    All though this will be lost... a tsunami of comments, I want it recorded that, for a man of so many eloquent words, I am unable to find any adequate enough to reflect his true brilliance. My thoughts go to the family and friends of a damn fine journalist who has left us far too early.

    1. Christopher Lane

      Re: All though this will be lost...

      I feel a black page topper rather than the usual red is in order for a few days...

  368. macjules

    Good luck to you Lester, wherever you are now. At the setting of the sun and the detonation of the latest SpaceX lower stage we will remember you.

  369. JulieM Silver badge


    I only just found out about this, and it's knocked me sideways.

    I never actually met the great man in person, though we had exchanged e-mails a few times in the prehistoric era before the Comments Section. Usually when he missed a double-entendre :)

    You could always spot one of Hainesey's headlines -- and clicking through to the article would always brighten up a dull day in the IT department, whether by making you snigger or making you think. Usually snigger, to be sure, but often enough think.

    If I hadn't just enjoyed a lovely meal with my family, I'd be paying him the most fitting tribute imaginable. As it stands, that will have to wait awhile, till I'm sufficiently hungry and thirsty to do it whole-heartedly.

    Rest in Peace, Lester. And let's hope it's beer volcanos and stripper factories, and not a queue of people asking if you can just have a quick look at their computer .....

  370. Rick594

    RIP Lester.

    A sad loss.

  371. Buiatra

    Lester on tv (2011)

    This was from spanish television showing people from different countries living here in Spain. And Lester had his time, showing where he lived, a very small village, just the opposite big London. It´s in spanish but you can have a beutiful idea of how his life here was.

  372. Anonymous Coward

    A retrospective...

    Sleep well Lester, our loss is your deity of choice's gain.

    El Reg, any chance of a retrospective of Lester's greatest hits?

    Beer.. well it seems as appropriate as a way to commemorate Lester.

  373. Gert Leboski

    Rest in peace, you funny, funny man.

    A big loss. :'( Sincere thought go to the family, friends and all who knew him.

  374. Bitman

    So sad.

    I shall miss his contributions.

  375. jubtastic1

    RIP Lester

    The rest of us are poorer for the loss of your shenanigans.

  376. wheelbearing

    RIP condolences

    Very sad to hear, thinking of his family & friends. Surely we'll hear more of Lester's many accomplishments and talents via Vulture central, will always think of him and his cheery prose whenever bacon sarnies or offbeat post pub nosh are on offer.

  377. Andrew Barr

    Rest in Peace young man :')

  378. The Other Graham


    My thoughts go out to Lester's family and friends.

  379. A K Stiles


    Thoughts and sympathies to his family.

  380. Ashley_Pomeroy

    Oh rats. He was good. 55 is no age. Those little Playmobil characters, sitting on a shelf, wondering where uncle Lester has got to. Who will tell them?

    It's odd looking back at the original article, from 2000 - you'd never get away with that headline image nowadays.

  381. Skribblez

    I'll miss him

    Sorry for the late comment but, as a long-time reader of this site (1999), this article came as a shock.

    My condolences to Katarina and the rest of the family. Lester's irreverent articles and SPB hi-jinks have been the highlight of The Register. My partner even started following the site for the post-pub nosh neck-filler articles and has gone so far as to not only try making some of them but to pick up the associated lingo.

    If I may borrow Ashley_Pomeroy's image for a min, I thought - as a non-bofffin - that this helped to express how I felt.

    Playmobil figures on a shelf,

    we all sit

    in wonder at the loss

    of a friend we have never met

    but on these pages

    as our garden-shed boffin

    shares a pint with his intrepid Playmonaut

  382. Rik Myslewski

    Gone? At 55?! Ridiculous

    Damn. Just damn.

    Or perhaps "Fuck!" as well.

    Imaginative wit is hard, but it wasn't for Lester (cf. "Fuck!" above).

  383. Little sis

    Hi this is lester little sister I won't to say a really big thank you to all the amazing comments of my brother he will be very missed by all of us a very big shock am sure I speak for all my family in saying thank you x

  384. jake Silver badge

    This is an amazing thread.

    Nearly 500 posts, and zero dissent. Never happened before, probably never will again, in this contentious forum.

    Your brother was a good man, Little sis. Relish his memory. We will.

    ::uploads homebrew because ... well, because it's the right thing to do::

  385. David 132 Silver badge

    +GNU Lester Haines

    A nice touch, that I've only just noticed - for those of us that have the +GNU Terry Pratchett plugin for Firefox, Lester's name is now added to the Overhead.

    Props to whoever at the Reg thought of that. And I add my voice to those saying, RIP Lester, and thanks for all the great articles.

    "A man's not dead while his name's still spoken..."

    (Apologies if this has already been mentioned here.)

  386. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I go looking why there haven't been any recent articles from Lester and I find this. Very sad news.

    And HTH do you die of a heart attack looking after donkeys half way up a mountain?

  387. ibchristian

    ... way too soon...

    Lester, you will be dearly missed... so I'll raise a pint and a bacon sarnie in your honor sir.

    My condolences to his family, Katarina and Matt et al. He was the bright point in so many days of drudgery while working overseas, and like so many have stated previously was the reason I kept coming back to El Reg...

  388. Stelios Zacharias

    Just logging in to check what's up with LOHAN... Ariadne was asking. RIP Lester.

    May your family, and your readers live long to keep your memory going.

  389. Cripes Chief!


    Next Tuesday it will be a year since Lester departed this mortal coil. I for one will be raising a glass in his honour.

    But to truly honour him, shouldn't we get LOHAN airborne?

    1. Pirate Dave Silver badge

      Re: Remembered

      A year? The time flows so fast.

      Is there even still a LOHAN project?

    2. Cripes Chief!

      Re: Remembered


      Please raise your glasses,

      Lester Haines

  390. Kiwi

    It's been a year.

    Still wish I could see some of your material here at El Reg (fresh stuff of course)

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