Eds off their meds: Does this headline REALLY need to be so astronomically long it can be measured in parsecs?

No. ® Next week! How listicles are killing journalism: Ten things we've learnt.

[Known Hero]

now this is a story I can get behind, although you need to ensure the picture is available on the front page !

[Anonymous Coward]

"now this is a story I can get behind"

The Internet; billions of dollars spent on pushing the limits of technology and building a world wide infrastructure so Nepalese goat herders can decide when and where to sell their goats, and Westerners can look at bare arses. And of the two, the bare arses use by far the greater share of resources.

[razorfishsl]

Re: "now this is a story I can get behind"

Billions spent pushing wank fantasies for young boys and "can you see me / like me " neurotic females.

[Calum Morrison]

This person clicked on the link. What happened next will shock you to the core.

No it won't.

[Dan 55]

Re: This person clicked on the link. What happened next will shock you to the core.

pageViews++;

[Rich 11]

The weird trick marketing experts don't want you to know

*tumbleweed*

[Aaiieeee]

The URL to this comment section..

kim_kardashian_impregnated_by_lizard_alien_lifeform_during_brazilian_waxing

[Jedit]

Re: The URL to this comment section..

Clearly a fake article. I've never even met the woman.

[Mark 85]

Re: The URL to this comment section..

So they finally identified what Kayne is?

[anthonyhegedus]

Shock! horror! Editorial content found among adverts that have just sucked 5% of phone battery and 500MB of data. Because greed

[wolfetone]

You've missed April Fools day by over 4 months.

[VinceH]

FSVO 4 that may be closer to 2.

[wolfetone]

"FSVO 4 that may be closer to 2."

THAT BLOODY TIME MACHINE AGAIN!

[Ashton Black]

New Study Shows Drinking Pepsi Coke is Better For You than Breathing!!!*.

*Advertorial by Pepsi Cola Inc.

[GrumpenKraut]

Five ASTOUNDING reasons why you MUST read this article

- Text not overly long

- Accompanying illustration very instructive

- Headline amazingly long

- There are three kinds of mathematicians, those who can count to three and those who can't

[magickmark]

Very insightful, more please!

[Dan 55]

Indeed. I prefer it over the DevOps articles which on the go on for longer and don't have as much to say.

['s water music]

Me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#lol

;-)

[Bloakey1]

Listicles!

"How listicles are killing journalism: Ten things we've learnt."

Do not get me fscking started on that one. Even some of the legitimate non tabloid press are chucking out this crap.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Listicles!

"Do not get me fscking started on that one. Even some of the legitimate non tabloid press are chucking out this crap."

I assume you're referring to the Guardian .... its even transferring to their print version as, for example, the "Guide" section at the weekend as trnasformed from having reviews of TV/film/theatre/gigs/etc to having "Five TV origs/films/plays/shows/etc to see this week". Though, I suppose this is in line with the Guardian's policy of putting everything online so that when you buy a print copy you find that you've already read any articles that you're interested in (keep on asking myself why I'm still paying for a weekebnd subscription!)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Listicles! / I assume you're referring to the Guardian

Even the Independent does it.You have to look at some of the clickbait headlines and try to guess whether or not there might be a sensible article hidden behind it.

[Flocke Kroes]

Re: Spotting the sensible articles

The Register maintains a list of articles not worth bothering with here.

[Bloakey1]

Re: Listicles!

"I assume you're referring to the Guardian ...."

<snip>

They are all at it. For some it is their own creation and for others it is click baited crap from their sponsors!

The days of presentation over content are here and the dark times cometh.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Listicles!

I think I read the Guardian once somewhere around 1979.

Then I sort of grew up.

[Zarno]

Re: Listicles!

Listicles???? I read that as something else entirely, and nearly snorted my martini on the ceiling...

Paris, because, well...

[anthonyhegedus]

Keep asking yourselves how journalism is going to survive as online advertising gets more and more invasive, and less and less controlled? How long before adverts pause if you look away? Anyone seen that black mirror?

[Skribblez]

Microsoft's adverts in their Windows 10 games do this when they lose focus. Funny. Guess they think it means the ads will be watched because one wants to play solitaire and not that one stops playing solitaire and even less ads get loaded...

[Dale 3]

Adverts which pause when you look away would be awesome. Sticky tape over the camera, and they're permanently paused.

[Alister]

NSFW

You might at least have marked it NSFW, although it's my own damn fault for looking, I suppose.

[Voland's right hand]

Re: NSFW

Do you work in a convent?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: NSFW

I wish. I keep applying but it's a difficult habit to get into. So despite all my efforts it's a bit of a nunstarter.

[Bloakey1]

Re: NSFW

"I wish. I keep applying but it's a difficult habit to get into. So despite all my efforts it's a bit of a nunstarter."

You want to stay away from all those dirty habits or you might end up with a scapular and therefore end up with postulancy.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: NSFW

Ah, you gave too easily. Wimp-le

[Anonymous Coward]

TL;DR

Lists!

[Hero Protagonist]

Meanwhile, on El Reg

June 9: "Apple to kill off Mac OS X?"

[Anonymous Coward]

Quality article. Occasionally I wish for the old "up/downvote this article" link. Usually it's for downvoting Orlowski***, of course, but sometimes -as in this case- it's for throwing a salute to the author. Actually, the downvote is also throwing a salute to the author...just a different sort of salute now I come to think about it.

Betteridge's law brilliantly explained in one word. Props sir.

*** I finally managed to get a comment rejected, by the way. Hate to waste pixels, so I'll recycle them here:

[Note: Italics are a quote from the article in question]

------8<----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Fighting copyright today requires a persecution complex, because concrete examples of real oppression are fleeting and trivial. The unfairness of copyright must therefore be imagined.

This is almost Trump-esque in it's "I'll throw so much steaming bullshit into one sentence that people won't even know where to start refuting it" style"

------8<----------------------------------------------------------------------

[Anonymous Coward]

That's odd...the above post doesn't appear in my "My posts" list. Scuse me while I link it with a post that does...http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/2890051

[imanidiot]

Journalists hate this commentor for one simple trick. Click here to find out:

Well donr indeed. Though that headline could have been longer. It's not overly long until it breaks the site layout!

[Anonymous Coward]

By a simple man...

I see boobs. I click.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: By a simple man...

<clickbaitimageclass="autobreasts" textrelevance="none" size="36" expand="C">