back to article Let's play: 'IT values or hipster folk band?'

Anyone that thinks Hunger, Heart and Harmony sounds like a Mumford & Sons-type folk band would be wrong: they represent the core values of IT reseller Insight. The three H's make perfect sense to El Reg, they're definitely not meaningless management babble, the kind a four-year-old might unwittingly utter while going through …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "our dedicated team-mates consistently go above and beyond for our clients to help their businesses run smarter"

    By screwing up simple quotes and always trying to find a way to shoehorn the more expensive option in?

    By always nagging you when they think there's a chance of you spending money, but suddenly vanishing when you actually need help with something you're bought?

    Our business ran smarter by going elsewhere.

  2. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

    The reg should have a regular column for naming and shaming management waffle

    1. BoldMan

      They have, its called Bong!

    2. Mint Sauce

      Fairly sure they already do, though maybe not intentionally...

      <cough>HyperConvergedContinuousDevOpsLifecycle</cough>

      1. Rafael 1

        <cough>

        Damn, beat me to it. Have an integrated upvote.

  3. Captain Underpants

    If Insight have the three Hs as values, shouldn't El Reg have three Qs? Like, I dunno, let's say Quixotic, Questing and Quantum? Yeah, the last one's a cheat, but this is a management bollocks game so terms like "quantum" are triple-scorers...

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      "shouldn't El Reg have three Qs?"

      Three Vs: vultures, venom and very bad puns.

    2. Rafael 1
      Happy

      Quixotic, Questing and...

      ..Quagmire?

      Not the giggity one.

      1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

        Re: Quixotic, Questing and...

        A quantum of questing?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Quixotic, Questing and...

        "Not the giggity one."

        Why not the giggity one?

  4. msknight
    Coat

    "Red, Raw, Rag." ... Bull ?

    1. Montreal Sean

      Now on a 28 day news cycle?

      1. m0rt

        "The Reg! - 'We'll Rag it for you Red Raw'

  5. Roger Greenwood

    Still my favourite so far:-

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/05/05/siemens_healthcare_madness/

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sponsored article

    How much did Insight pay el Reg for this great advertorial and great opportunity to espouse their virtues of how great they are and how well they're performing?

    I'll try an help prop up the coffers by getting the brand in a bit more

    Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight Insight

    1. theblackhand

      Re: Sponsored article

      I'm not sure there will be a rush of companies looking for Reg commentards to make jokes about their expensive rebranding exercise.

      1. Dr. Mouse

        Re: Sponsored article

        Or the inevitable* horror stories or general piss take about experiences with them.

        * I say this not because I have had bad experience, but because most large-enough IT suppliers would find a large group of people on here who would rip them to shreds with stories of their incompetence.

        1. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Sponsored article

          > * I say this not because I have had bad experience, but because most large-enough IT suppliers would find a large group of people on here who would rip them to shreds with stories of their incompetence.

          In Insight's case a fairly spectacularly near-implosion caused by changing over to a catalogue system that wasn't fit for purpose.

          Several years later, it's still wobbly and still giving incorrect pricing.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I thought to myself "I know...I'll check out the TalkTalk 'About Us' page. There's bound to be some fatuous bollocks there, made doubly ironic because of the source".

    Welcome to TalkTalk

    Sorry this part of the site is not available right now.

    Please try again later or our customer team are there to help you with details on the packages below or upgrades. Just give them a call.

    1. Chris King

      Welcome to TalkTalk

      Sorry this part of the site is not available right now.

      It's probably hiding with the help page that said that IPv6 used six-byte addressing.

      1. BongoJoe

        Welcome to TalkTalk

        Sorry this part of the site is not available right now.

        But, Shirley, it is.

    2. Peter Ford

      Welcome to TalkTalk

      Sorry this part of the site is not available right now.

      I think you'll find that is actually TalkTalk's mission statement

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    I don't know Insight CEO Ken Lamneck at all

    But from his remarks, he is either (a) now chortling happily down the pub with his mates, amazed that anyone would print in all seriousness what was clearly meant to be a piss-take of the highest order, or (b) a total dick.

    It's Friday, I'm happy, so I'm going to assume (a).

  9. Rabster

    Tech, titillate and trolling.

  10. Gobhicks

    Ennui, Existentialism and Enervation

    No wait, that's me...

  11. vonBureck
    Childcatcher

    > meaningless management babble, the kind a four-year-old might unwittingly utter

    Hey! Don't insult four-year-olds!

  12. Disk0
    Coat

    Interpretative Dance

    is what we are asked to do with these mantras. Assume Praying Mantis and say NI.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Heart & Hunger

    sounds like Bruce Springsteen

    I think the relevant bit for Insight is "I took a wrong turn and I kept on going".

  14. Terry 6 Silver badge

    Please see

    http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/gobbledygook-generator.html

    And to show that education shares these core values

    http://www.sciencegeek.net/lingo.html

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