back to article Don’t let the Barmy Brexiteers wreck #digital #europe

I have always considered myself an internationalist. Expensive Swiss private school. Los Angeles rehab clinic. East London loft workspace and incubator. My assistant มาลัย (which means "Garland of Flowers" in Thai) is from somewhere in Indo-China. My refreshments are Colombian. I am a borderless child of John Perry Barlow, of …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Steve Bong is the lead consultant on the European Commission’s DSM (digital single market) strategy, a member of the European’s Parliament’s working group on sustainable innovation, and chairs the European Council’s standing committee on Gamifying Transparency. His views are bollocks.


    1. Roger Mew

      Re: This:

      It would be nice if you actually stated your qualifications to state the situation not just state that of what he is. He may well be biased where as you just do not understand. Saying that someone is talking rubbish does not expand or subscribe to anything. One needs facts to be elucidated and made comprehensible not just some derogatory swear words. Where is your factual information about his comments and his reasoning.

      I am guessing that the man has put more thought into the situation than you have in your whole life, not being able to digest and consolidate information and just using derogatory words indicates someone who has been brainwashed.

      1. Bloakey1

        Re: This:

        Roger Mew

        Wrote something.

        to which i replied fsck me! Watch out for overhead projectiles.

    2. itzman

      Re: This:

      i think your irony filter is broken..

      steve BONG???

  2. NE-bot


    Oh no. I was actually for remaining, but if Bong is for it too..

    It's almost as bad as having to support something the Government are doing.. see icon

    1. This post has been deleted by a moderator

      1. SW10

        Re: Aaargh

        I think one of the best reasons for voting leave is that Cameron wants to remain.

        Ooh yes. On that basis you're better to be associated with Gove, Putin, Trump and the North Korean lad.

        1. P. Lee
          Paris Hilton

          Re: Aaargh

          >On that basis you're better to be associated with Gove, Putin, Trump and the North Korean lad.

          And those oppressors of humanity, the Norwegians... and don't forget the Swiss, they don't want to be in the EU either. Obviously, if we stayed, we'd have to got to war with the Swiss.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Aaargh

        David Cameron, plus George "the economy is doing great, isn't it" Osbourne, John "what affair?" Major, Tony "Weapons of Mass Distraction" Blair and a whole migrant boatload of politicians who you wouldn't normally trust to tell you it was raining if you were neck-deep in floodwater with levels rising.

        But of course, these are all honourable men - and none of them called Brutus - so they must be right.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Aaargh

          if you were neck-deep in floodwater with levels rising.

          And how is it different from the hair-organization challenged quasi-buffoon? Just do not get me started on the possible hereditary origin of his views on Eastern Europeans and especially Bulgarians and Romanians as I will sound almost as racist as him and Gove.

      3. MatthewSt

        Re: Aaargh

        That's what Dave is betting on though, that you'll do the opposite of what he wants. He doesn't really want us to stay in Europe!

      4. strum

        Re: Aaargh

        I have all sorts of reasoned arguments for voting to remain in the EU, but there is one, overwhelming driver - I don't want to live on a planet where Farage is right.

        1. Yes Me Silver badge
          Paris Hilton

          a planet where Farage is right

          There is no such planet, but I've actually seen something close to reasoned argument from Farage once or twice, but never from Boris or Gove. What is very shocking is that almost all the 'Leave' arguments are emotional in nature - in the worst case, just insult the other side - well, it's worked so far for Trump, so why not here?

          As for Mr Bong, I have my doubts:

          but he makes some good points. Better to be inside looking out than outside looking in, even if you make vacuum cleaners that suck.

          Mark Remain X on the 23rd.

    2. TitterYeNot

      Re: Aaargh

      Speaking of things that make you go 'Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh'...

      Yes, Digital is many things. A frikkin' noun it is not!!!

      I know Mr Bong has his tongue firmly in his cheek, but stop it now, it just encourages pointy-haired idiots to misuse the word as part of their manglement bullshittylogical* abuse of the English language.

      * Well if they can make up words, so can I. So there.

  3. Sir Runcible Spoon

    Yeah, it sounds like he doesn't want his #gravy-train to end.

    Tell you what Steve, it's people like you (progress no matter what the cost, full steam ahead regardless of who goes under the bus as long as I'm least until you are too old to compete in the pissing pool and you suddenly turn ultra conservative) that are the death of democracy.

    What a twat-dangle.

    1. AndyS

      Uh... Did all that dripping sarcasm manage to miss you on the way down?

      1. William 3 Bronze badge

        Poes Law not known to you is it?

      2. Sir Runcible Spoon

        "Uh... Did all that dripping sarcasm manage to miss you on the way down?"

        Unfortunately the character of this article is all too plausible nowadays, so if I missed an obvious cue then it got lost in the weeds.

        - I also just looked up Poes Law - that's it exactly.

      3. Bloakey1

        "Uh... Did all that dripping sarcasm manage to miss you on the way down?"

        I think people must be tired by a long week at work but surely they all heard an overhead whoosh if they did not see something ferrous thereabouts?

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. William 3 Bronze badge

    Ad Homs

    Calling people "barmy" to disguise the fact your own nose is deeply in the trough and you might get a little less chow if the plebs don't do as they're supposed to is the true measure of the EU.

    1. phuzz Silver badge

      Re: Ad Homs

      I guess having people mistake your satire for a real article is the highest honour the Reg hacks could wish for really.

    2. Bloakey1

      Re: Ad Homs

      Hmm, are you directing that at Mr Bong? if so fsck you and the horse you rode in on.


      look up the meaning of Ad Hominem.

  5. Wiltshire

    Don't worry, G4S is in charge of the referendum results security.

    (tumbleweed icon)

  6. g e


    Not 'vapers'. Plus the negative rhyming slang connotations....

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Vote leave - Cough

    and leave the gravy train to our own politicians, their wives, mistresses, second homes, 50m chauffer car rides. No thank you...

    I'd rather the gravy was spread a bit more thinly...

    I will vote remain so I can keep my job and leave the current pork in the trough - more power to UK politicos will finally result in absolution rather than partial corruption..

  8. Anonymous Coward

    Short sighted idiocy...

    Too many people think that once Britain steps out of the Eurozone then international trading will collapse, treaties won't work, they won't be able to run commercial airliners, etc, etc.

    Such a load of bollocks.

    Before we had this EU monstrosity (personal opinion) the individual countries were quite capable of setting up trade agreements and such amongst themselves. And take the United Nations, that council also exists without creating any physical links between all the seating countries.

    I can appreciate that some people might oppose the idea of a Brexit, just like I expect them to respect my opinion that a Brexit is most likely going to stimulate Britain's economy quite severely (just look at all the stuff you don't have to be paying for anymore, such as the Ukraine fundings).

    However, I do think you shouldn't portrait a false information based on fear, just like you also shouldn't make things look too optimistic than they are either. I can definitely agree that a Brexit might hold some negative consequences also, and I'm also not suggesting that Britain will immediately head into a new golden age.

    But it's not as if a Brexit will mean the end of the world and civilisation as you knew it.

    1. rtfazeberdee

      Re: Short sighted idiocy...

      I think you need to read more and understand more about economics and trade agreement negotiating etc as your comments are very naive - no-one is saying international trading will collapse, its just the old colonial thinking that we've still got an empire and a lot of power (we have some but not as much as you think) and nations/trading bigger than us will bow to us at the negotiating table.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "capable of setting up trade agreements and such amongst themselves"

      Sure, and when they couldn't they started two world wars (and many others before...)

      EU was also born to avoid to transform Europe into a battlefield every thirty years or so. Maybe many of use are young enough and those wars are just an echo of the past, but for our parents and grandparents (and their parents and grandparents) - those who survived, at least - were a dangerous risk that became bloody real.

      Don't believe what is happening in East Europe and Middle East couldn't happen in a highly fragmented Europe as well.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. strum

      Re: Short sighted idiocy...

      >Before we had this EU monstrosity (personal opinion) the individual countries were quite capable of setting up trade agreements and such amongst themselves

      Mostly at the point of a bayonet. Not allowed to do that, anymore.

      It remains a fact that we know what the rules are, within the EU. We don't have a fucking clue what the rules might be, outside the EU. So any claim that 'of course we'll be able to negotiate a better deal' is a flat-out lie.

    4. Roger Mew

      Re: Short sighted idiocy...

      But you are missing some things, first, the UK border force in Calais will have to go, almost immediately. There is no reason to stay as far as the french are concerened and in fact the cas and pas de Calais authorities in whos domain the area is have said openly that the Brexit would mean that immediately the border force area would have to close and the situation will be in the UK NOT in France. In one fell swoop the French have gotton rid of the immigrant problem around Calais, and also a large area that they want for industry will be opened up. It was also stated on French TV.

      Now, all these immigrants in lorries, with no passports will have to be stored, agh yes in the UK.

      Now there is a bilateral agreement with France for pensioners and medical set up before the EU with France, BUT not with any other country. Many from Spain retirees will be coming back as their pensions will be fixed, no medical cover and so on.

      Ireland will probably accept the Shengan agreement so by walking from Eire to NI unless a wall is built will be easy.NI will not be happy due to the cross border trade so many in NI will have to vote to stay in the EU.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Short sighted idiocy...

        Ahem no, the current border control arrangements are a (another) bilateral agreement between France and the UK. They are independent on the EU, and actually bring a lot of money to the north east region of France. Fostering aside from one individual, that is not going to happen anytime soon, and at least is not dependent on EU membership or not.

  9. Chris Miller

    I assume all these folks who think Steve ¡Bong! is real are new to ElReg? (or perhaps I'm missing some second level of snark - always a possibility :)

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon
      Paris Hilton

      I've been here a while now, so therefore I must have dementia :)

      1. Bloakey1

        "I've been here a while now, so therefore I must have dementia :)"

        Sad, but on a positive note you make new friends every day!!!

  10. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    Quality control

    Is it the stress of the referendum, or perhaps a failure of the Colombian refreshments, that has cost SB his exclamation points?

  11. Richard Barnes


    This piece is perfectly judged - capturing as it does the essential viewpoint of the entrepreneur as parasite. Well done sir!

  12. David 138

    Well its all down to these people now thank god for a referendum:

  13. onepintleft

    fx comapny gb

    If you are reading this then you are undecided. To be honest I had to a fair bit of reading to do this wee paper, but the problem with Company Gb is well documented. My fix-it cures are on the paper below. In short the Uk is solvent but dis-organised, and laden with wholesale procedural frauds. It needs changed- how to is below.

    It is on various `` social media ``sites .

    Totally well disenchanted with the mud slinging by those Ministers and mps who are supposed to be our representatives – so in reply I wrote this paper- `` fix company GB- a how to guide `` - for those how are dithering over the Brexit vote, at least check out the links in the paper for research,

    It is on gumroad under onepintleft, 501greenriggpublishing

    1. Kubla Cant Silver badge

      Re: fx comapny gb

      onepintleft? I'd guess you've drunk a few dozen.

    2. Bloakey1

      Re: fx comapny gb

      I say old chap, I do not get your banter, I know what the letters are and what they mean but I can't extrapolate any data from the way you have put them together.

      I think that you or indeed he " took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie." say it isn't so Joe?

    3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: fx comapny gb


      1. Thecowking

        Re: fx comapny gb

        No, I think this is a poorly trained AI.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cooperation is a good thing, but you don't need political union for that. EU, even as it is described by its supporters, is nothing other than a filthy protection racket. You don't even need to listen to EU-sceptics to find solid arguments to leave that anti-democratic monstrosity behind.

    1. DasWezel

      "You don't even need to listen to EU-sceptics to find solid arguments to leave that anti-democratic monstrosity behind."

      I've been listening, but haven't yet heard an argument that stands up to scrutiny. Or cites a reliable (and neutral) reference. At all.

      Seriously, I'd be more than happy to vote to leave *if* someone can present a good case for it. That stands up to scrutiny, and doesn't rely on facts that fall apart when context is applied.

      1. Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face

        Cast your mind back to 1957, the Treaty of Rome was signed by six nations. It consisted of nothing more than an elaborate front page, a signature page, and (due to "technical difficulties") a whole wad of blank paper.

        Almost 50 years later the European Constitution was signed. It was a solemn and impressive ceremony at the heart of Ancient Rome. All that remained was for the people of Europe to approve the pact which was made in their name. The Dutch and the French, however, deigned to disagree, voting the whole thing down in their respective referendums.

        Regardless, the project pushed on, and was quietly repackaged, much of the text lifted word-for-word into the Lisbon treaty. This time it was billed as a "tidying up exercise". No need to bother the proles with a vote on the subject. Except for Ireland, who voted the "wrong" way, and were told to vote again.

        If you happen to be one of the 42% of people who bothered to vote for your MEP, you might find some comfort in the fact that the people who ride roughshod over the parliamentary democracy and court system of the UK are subject to some democratic oversight. But this is an illusion. The appointed EU Commission are bound by EU rules to represent "the project", not their respective nations. MEPs cannot instigate legislation. Their function is provide a fig leaf of democracy to the whole sham. The legislation they do get to scrutinize, they invariably nod through.

        There are lots of reasons to leave. The crippling of the economies of Greece, Italy, Spain. The parachuting in of unelected and unaccountable bureaucrats into the highest seats of power in Greece and Ireland to pull the levers of power. The appropriation of Cypriots' savings. The hounding to an early grave of a market trader who dared to use traditional weights and measures. The unelected Jean-Claude Junker pontificating on what would happen if the Austrians voted for the wrong candidate in their recent election. The breaking of their own rules in granting bailouts. The ridiculous blue flags on everything that has been built with "EU" (ie YOUR) money. The control-freak legal system that thinks that unless something is regulated it cannot be permitted.

        I could go on, but I fear you might guess which way I'm voting.

        1. N000dles

          Margot Wallström

          Not to mention our Swedish Foreign Minister (ex EU Commissioner & Vice President) Margot Wallström saying how bad it was for European democracy that the British people getting a chance to vote could be catastrophic and lead to other members of the EU actually wanting to vote too. Lets hope we stay in and nobody else in the EU gets a chance to vote so we can protect this democracy at all costs.

      2. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

        How to decide how to vote...

        ...I've been listening, but haven't yet heard an argument that stands up to scrutiny. Or cites a reliable (and neutral) reference. At all.

        Seriously, I'd be more than happy to vote to leave *if* someone can present a good case for it. That stands up to scrutiny, and doesn't rely on facts that fall apart when context is applied....

        Seriously (for once)!

        You don't need any economic or legislative facts or arguments. You don't need ANY made-up predictions of the future - millions of immigrants, trade collapsing or a third world war. Or references. All these are bullshit from either one side or the other.

        The whole European initiative is straightforward and its aim is laid out in all the founding documents - to create an 'ever-closer' union, culminating in a single large country. Your decision is simple:

        Do you want to live in a single large country comprising all European countries, or a smaller country comprising the current UK?

        I'm sure there are pluses and minuses on both sides, but that, essentially, is the question. Europe as a country hasn't been particularly successful so far, but they promise it will get better. If you believe that, vote Remain. If not, vote Leave....


        If the vote ends up with 'Leave' getting over 50%, do not think that we will leave. A referendum is not a legislative process - it is simply Parliament asking the people what their will is. There is no requirement laid on Parliament to follow that will. Politician's promises are not to be relied on.

        There are several easy ways for Cameron to convert a 'Leave' vote into a 'Remain in practice'. Don't think he won't take them. No country will leave the EU unless it has a firm majority political party in power committed to leaving. And sometimes, in the case of Greece, not even then...

    2. Hans 1

      >anti-democratic monstrosity behind

      Care to elaborate ? Go read up on how the EU works and you will see for yourself that it is actually better to have experts in the executive, as long as they are vetted by elected officials, you will also note that the president of the commission is elected ...

      I know, I know, I have debunked this "STUPID" remark here at least 5 times, with all links etc ... go look it up on wikipedia, it only takes five minutes ...

      I stand by it, Nigel Farage and Marine Le Pen are two entertainers in the parliament, however, they never put any realistic ideas forward and keep insulting the others who are trying to get a job done.

  15. Wolfclaw

    So the Reg throws in a Pro-Remain news less item and no sign of a Pro-Brexit item, so no bias reporting herr then !

    1. Bloakey1

      "So the Reg throws in a Pro-Remain news less item and no sign of a Pro-Brexit item, so no bias reporting herr then !"

      Herr Then? So it was the Germans was it? I thought so, blighters are always stirring it up.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    O brave new world,

    That has such people in't!

    I really don't like Bong articles. They are very well done, but the fact that such people exist in enough numbers to be worth satirising is an uncomfortable thought. Wouldn't be proper satire, though, if you were comfortable I suppose...

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      "the fact that such people exist in enough numbers to be worth satirising is an uncomfortable thought."

      What's more worrying is the number of people who haven't twigged that it's satire.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I dunno. The fact that the world is turning into such a fucking cartoon that this isn't very obviously satire is the bit that keeps me awake.

  17. Roger Mew

    What is frightening is that it is the number of lower IQ people that are far more likely to be sucked in by the likes of Boris who was not exactly good at school, and that is possibly the reason that he cannot do sums!! It does not take a genius to work out that the UK income will be less over all in the event of a "brexit" and that therefore monies for other things from the government will go down due to a loss of revenue. The fact that the UK is not paying the EU will be dwarfed by the increased loss of revenue, probably double what is paid to the EU. Add to that the many more that will be on the dole and the NHS will be in the merde. Now add to that the many retirees from the eu who may feel that they are now also in the merde, loss of medical, and other costs attributed to living in a country that no longer is prepared to pay for their assistance, lets guess at 2,000,000 that could mean that the UK has also to find retiree residences for about 1,000,000 with the infra structure to suit and of course the hospitals dealing with this influx so dear old dozy Boris will be having to pay for all this.

    Better off, the bloke is dreaming. In France alone there are approximately 1,000,000 permanent residence, and add to that those that are best described as partial residence, they live in France all the time but have a convenience address, daughters flat, sons house etc, that has no chance of being an address where the extra people could live, so probably another million as well.

    If those that think that the UK would be better off then I suggest an IQ test. It seems that apart from politicians many of whom are purely after their own agenda, those of us with an IQ less than about 95 are likely to vote Brexit. However, those with a higher IQ realise that it is not as simple as boris thinks and are more likely to think that whilst the EU has problems we are better of staying and changing the rules. In fact many countries will back the UK about changing the rules.

  18. Dave 15 Silver badge

    tongue in cheek

    Certainly read like that.

    Valid point though... there are billions available (if you make sure you are a tiny German/French/Dutch speaking friend of a Belgium and agree that most of the billions can be given to companies in these other countries. What there aren't are anything more than pence for the Brits.).

  19. RonWheeler

    The art of being a satirist

    Often travels the path of confused pretentious,pseudo-witty waffle.

  20. This post has been deleted by its author

  21. This post has been deleted by its author

  22. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

    Thank you, Mr Bong. Your article was just what was asked for. An application form for the club we are proposing you for is in the post.

    Sir Humphrey

  23. AlanT1

    Dyson a Dinosaur

    From someone who employs how many (I south east Asian I can see.) Calls Dyson a Dinosaur and cannot work out that an independent UK may just look to grow the digital future.

    Lacking substance it seems to me.

  24. DukeboxDurie

    Tech Solutionist Cream Pie

    I've actually signed up to comment on this because I have never read such a load of dross in all my life "tech is like PG tips". Dude is smoking crack!

    Next you'll be telling me the ISPs are like the Post Office

  25. Anonymous Coward


    Yeah lets give up our democracy to a bureaucratic plutocracy because this numbty needs to be paid..

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Roger Mew

    Would you sign over your home, car, bank accounts to me for a price to be negotiated at a later date, maybe, at sometime in the future, if I feel like it?

    If the answer is No, then why would we do that with a whole Nation??

    You dont go handing over your freedom in the hopes that they may allow you to have it back later..

    If for some bizarre reason you think that this is a perfectly acceptable deal, please leave your contact details and I will have a necessary legal paper work sent to you asap.

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