back to article Did Spotify hire Alan Partridge to run its Netflix-style video push?

Spotify’s strange lurch into creating TV shows grows even stranger. Amongst the highlights of original content is a lurid series on how music stars died. “From the PCP-fueled cannibalism of rapper Big Lurch to the murder-for-hire plot hatched by the singer of metal band As I Lay Dying, we’ll get the full story of how some of …

  1. AbelSoul

    Plank Floyd

    Members of the iconic band are filmed lying prone in exotic locations across the globe. Surviving members, of course, the others being already prone.

    Oh, and smell my cheese, etc...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Monkey tennis...

    And yet Alan's other suggestions, like 'Cooking in Prison' and 'Youth hosteling with Chris Eubank' actually got made!

  3. bon_the_one

    Star Trukkin

    Cashing in on Peter Kay's Car Share, James Gordon's Carpool Karaoke and Top Gear's Star in a Reasonably Priced Car, I submit "Star Trukkin" (with many thanks to 'The Firm' for the theme.

    Celebrity truck driving across random parts of the planet. The Christmas Special is Clarkson, Hammond and May 'Star Trukkin' one of Musks vans up to the ISS..

    Thank you, I'll have all the BAFTAS now. :-)

    1. WraithCadmus

      Re: Star Trukkin

      "Oh cock... Jeremy?"


      "The circuit breaker for the arming switch has fallen into the panel"

      "Oh god have you bought another 60s junker?"

      "It's okay, I think I can prod it with a biro"

  4. Snivelling Wretch

    Oldfield's Old Fields

    A property developer tries to force through a planning application for a new housing estate on green belt land, while Mike Oldfield writes letters of objection and organises a village protest.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Same concept, van, packing lot, except.....

    me, baseball bat and Bonos head.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bono, confined space, me with chainsaw...

    18+ obviously

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Olly Murs Penitentiary Special

    Olly Murs visits Americas most hostile prisons and attempts to show the vicious thugs the error of their ways though the uplifting words and melodies of his jaunty ballads.....and his anus.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Swift on Swift

    where Taylor Swift migrates with some swifts

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  9. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Elvis Easter Hunt

    Looking for the elusive King of Rock'n'Roll in and around the south's most revered Pentecostal churches.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Elvis Easter Hunt

      Looking for the elusive King of Rock'n'Roll in and around the south's most revered Fish'n'Chip Shops.


  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Robert Smiths real CUREs

    where Robert Smith of THE CURE assists in surgical operations in hospitals up and down the country.

  11. Alex Wilson

    Newsnight Cagefight... for once we forego the verbal sparring and just get down to business....

    I'd pay good money to see Ann Widicombe in a headlock.... maybe Hunt getting kicked in the....

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tinie Tempahs, Tiny Temper

    where Tinie Tempah is put into high pressure situations and is stressed to braking point.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Tinie Tempahs, Tiny Temper

      braking point.? That ought to leave some impressive skid marks!

  13. Candy

    Rush Hours

    Members of the Canadian prog rock band are each teamed up with a Hong Kong cop in a race to solve improbable murders.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    PAYBACK! starring Simon Cowell

    where Simon Cowell is placed in the stocks and has rotten eggs thrown at him.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    where contestants have the chance to win big cash prizes by being able to tell which is a Zombie and which is a member of the popular skiffle group The Rolling Stones.

  16. Frumious Bandersnatch

    Have I got drugs for you?

    Following the lives of patients involved in double-blind clinical trials of new drugs. The spin is that we never know which ones are getting the placebo or which side effects are psychosomatic. Ha-HA!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Usher on Usher

    where popular R&B sensation, Usher acts as a usher at peoples weddings up and down the country.

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Fall of the House of Usher

      A spin-off from Usher on Usher, where Usher hastily attempts to renovate a derelict home before the newlyweds return from the honeymoon.

  18. Frumious Bandersnatch


    On the hunt for the storm petrel.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Happy Mondays Happy Monday

    where Shawn Ryder and Bez entertain miserable commuters up and down the country on a Monday morning with their unique brand of manc humor and class A drugs.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    LULU's LOOs

    where ageless pop vixen LULU, takes us on a tour of the toilets, at the venues shes performed at and tells us where she had her favorite Dump.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Smashing pumpkins smashing pumpkin!

    where alternative rock sensations, Smashing Pumpkins, have to grow, from scratch, a prize winning pumpkin which is to be entered in a prestigious village fete.

    1. Mark 85

      Re: Smashing pumpkins smashing pumpkin!

      And here I thought Gallagher would be involved with a sledgehammer.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    where Norwegian pop sensations A-Ha surprise unsuspecting members of the public by leaping out at them from behind parked cars.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Phil Collins apology roadtrip

    where eighties pop sensation, Phil Collins, travels around the country apologizing for.....well, everything really.

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Phil Collins apology roadtrip

      Except for that choc-advert gorilla. That was the only good thing Collins ever contributed to after 1980.

    2. khaggis

      Re: Phil Collins apology roadtrip

      Or Phil Collins' Genesis - Where Phil Collins spends 20 minutes playing a Sega Genesis games, and then reviews them. Instead of a numeric rating system, they could be based on their overall score in comparability to Phil Collins song's. The only draw back here would be all the games would have to be terrible, as there are no good Phil Collins songs'

  24. Deltics

    Dire Straits

    Where a startup media company comes up with ever more desperate initiatives to justify it's existence.

    Oh, wait. I see that one's been done already.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    take that!, TAKE THAT

    where pop sensations TAKE THAT are bankrupted one by one by HMRC.

  26. NomNomNom

    Race Wars

    Quiz show in format of university challenge

    Each week each team representing a different race battles it out. Who will be crowned best race of 2016?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    where members of the public win the chance to punch Bono, one time in the face.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Busta Rhymes, Nursery Rhymes

    Where the popular foul-mouthed rap sensation performs his versions of some of our most beloved childrens dittys on CBeebies.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Here you go

    'Trump on a dump' - Presidential candidate Donald Trump explores regional dumps looking for items to sell to fund his campaign

    'The Price is Wright' - Katie Price undergoes radical gender realignment surgery to become reality TV star Mark Wright

    'Holmes under the hammer' - TV presenter Eamonn Holmes suffers weekly brutal assaults from ever increasing hammer sizes, starting with a tacking hammer all the way up to a massive automatic jackhammer

    'Judge Judy' - Judy Finnegan becomes the source of derision and ridicule every week as a member of the public points out all her flaws and failings

  30. This post has been deleted by its author

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Save a Prayer

    where members of Duran Duran go brass rubbing in some of Englands finest churches.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good Vibrations

    where members of The Beach Boys visit people with parkinsons

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    New order

    where Peter Hook & Bernard Sumner bus tables in various American diners

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Adele Smells

    where we follow UK cankle sensation, Adele, as she launches her new range of perfume.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    A crack team of elite British soldiers take on ever more challenging obstacles in home hardware store B&Q

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BLURred Vision

    where we interview random members of the public and ask them if they still blame Damon Albarn for 9/11

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Little Mix Big mix

    where pop sensations Little Mix have to mix, pour and tamp down a major concrete footing on their own.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Moodiest Blues

    where rock sensations, The Moody Blues, go round and comfort Zac Goldsmith (a very moody blue) over the fact he lost the mayoral election because hes a twat.

  39. BongoJoe


    In which the chirpy Gallagher brothers are dropped into the middle of the desert...

    ...and left there.

  40. Robin

    Badly Overdrawn Boy

    Each week Damon Gough from off of Badly Drawn Boy, tries to find a way to make his limited cash last him until he can sign on.

    Notes: could include twists like finding a crumpled fiver in his hat, or having to sell his hat, or something else hat-related.

  41. VinceH

    Is it just me, or does anyone else think some of the suggestions already offered fit right at home on Celebrity Juice?

    Anyway, here's my offering:

    Adam on the Ants: Adam Ant and his band have to sit on ants nests, to see who can last the longest.

  42. Robin

    Madonna's Mad Doner

    Madonna travels around the UK visiting different kebab shops to find out their secret to a good doner kebab, then tries to make her own ... with hilarious consequences!

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lennox VS Lennox

    where 80's pop diva, Annie Lennox and heavyweight pugilist Lennox Lewis swap rolls, so that Annie has to train for a heavyweight boxing match against Wladimir Klitschko and Mr lewis has to train so that he can perform a live, solo set at Glastonbury.

    1. Chris Miller

      swap rolls

      I've got a Swiss that I'm willing to swap for an Arctic, if that helps.

  44. NomNomNom

    Cash in the Attic

    Contestants with no prior musical experience are locked in an attic for a month and tasked with learning to play some of Johnny Cash's most famous hits. Will they be ready for the final performance in front of the Queen?

  45. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    Stoke On The Water

    Follow members of Stoke City FC as they embark on a kayaking holiday...with hilarious consequences

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bad Company's Bad Companies

    Paul Rogers & co turn financial trouble-shooters to help revive failing businesses

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Are you thicker than Robin Thicke?

    where members of the public test their general knowledge skills against the fabled intellect of the renown Pulitzer Prize winning author and vehement womens rights activist, Robin Thicke

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Roots Manouver

    where Brit rapper legend Roots Manuva, helps in the transplanting of endangered trees from inner city areas to the safety of a nature reserve, in Dorset, run by the National Trust.

  49. TheOtherHobbes


    Members of the world's favourite cardboard art rock band have an hour to build a DAB receiver using parts scavenged from the garden shed of a former RadioShack employee.

    Will they finish in time to hear a special Camberwick Green meets Tarantino edition of The Archers, or will they be distracted by a celebrity string orchestra preparing for the apocalypse under a bloodstained gazebo?

    Introduced by Edward Snowden and Ricky Martin.

    1. Nuff Said

      The Human League's Human League

      Extremely long running series where the popular electronic beat combo rank the world population in a number of different categories - height, intelligence, odour, gullibility ...

  50. SVV


    Thom Yorke has his head removed and replaced with a radio that is permenantly tuned to Smooth FM, as punishment for all whngy dreary rubbish he has inflicted on the nation's youth for years/

  51. SVV

    Boney M

    Bono and Michael Stipe of REM team up to provide pompous overblown messianic cover versions of the 70s disco poppers' hits.

  52. Simon Harris


    Where members of the 70s new wave group travel the country in a quest to find the person who can pull the most surprised face.

  53. Ben Bonsall

    John Terode and Greg Wallace recreate some of the recipes of the first celebrity chef, in John and Greg's Taste of Fanny

    (not music related, but hey ho.)

  54. Ben Bonsall

    Terry Christian interviews celebrities about the influence of Face magazine on their carreers, in Arse About Face, tonight on Four.

  55. Ben Bonsall

    Popular rapper Marshal Mathers talks about his favorite sweets and shops, in Eminem on M&Ms and M&S.

  56. jason 7

    How about - Rolf's...

    ...oh hang on...sorry.

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe its us?

    Taylor Swift, Adele and Pink host a variety of specialists to discuss why they can't hold onto a relationship..

    1. Nuff Said

      Jonathan Richman's Rich Men

      The alternative troubadour interviews a series of self-satisfied and pompous billionaires.

    2. Simon Harris

      Re: Maybe its us? ... or maybe it's you...

      Ironically, Alanis Morissette already runs a column in the Guardian discussing why readers can't hold onto a relationship.

  58. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Join Napster-foiling Dane Dwarf Lars Ulrich and pals as they visit aluminium smelting plants tasting the goods. Nom!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Metalicka

      Do they have to wait until the molten aluminium has cooled down? I hope not!

      1. Dabooka

        Re: Metalicka

        If they waited for it to cool down, wouldn't it just be 'aluminum'?

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Metalicka


  59. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    The legendary cock-rockers visit previous gig-going devotees returning the undies the fan once lobbed on stage. Revel in the fun as Chad'n'co give the 'nickers a cheeky wee sniff, before putting them back on the adoring fan.

  60. Ben Bonsall

    Celebrating the 76th birthday celebrations of a legendary welsh crooner- Tonight, 76! Tom Jones Has a Big Parade

  61. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Smellie Goulding

    6-parter wherein the 50 Shades chart-topping songstress 'treats' unsuspecting fans to the pong from her various body cavities. Episode 1: The Belly Button.

  62. Lobrau

    Drake's Drakes

    R&B artist, Drake, tours the length and breadth of the UK in a quest for the nation's best duck.

  63. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Giorgio Moroser

    Channel 4 presenter, Jon Snow, explores mental health with the granddaddy of synth programming, Giorgio Moroder

  64. Stevie


    Desert Island Disco in which everyone who perpetrated the radio scene in the mid to late 70s gets abandoned on a desert island with just a can opener and a GoPro. Three times a day a plane overflies the island and drops one can of some sort of food. Hilarity ensues.

  65. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    “Rhymes & Misdemeanors”

    It's mentioned that Big Lurch was going to be a subject of the oh-so-wittily titled series “Rhymes & Misdemeanors”.

    While looking up his Wikipedia article, I noticed that "Singleton was featured in the film Rhyme and Punishment, a 2011 documentary".

    In other words, the hilarious pun has been (near enough) used already and in connection with the same bloody guy!

    1. Nuff Said

      Stevie Wonder's weavy stumbler

      In which the syrupy balladeer necks a bottle of Bells and then sees how far he can get down a series of British high streets on a Saturday until he falls over.

    2. Nuff Said

      Lionel Richie's World of Biscuits

      No further explanation necessary I trust.

      1. AbelSoul

        Re: Lionel Richie's World of Biscuits it tea you're lookin' for?

    3. Nuff Said

      Frank and Billy Ocean's Oceans

      A maritime mystery tour through the wettest places in the world as the father and son duo don their souwesters and splice the mainbrace.

  66. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Obligatory "Lee and Herring" thing from donkey's years ago

    Roll Reversall

    Ian Roll is a driving instructor, Ian Reversall is a baker. Due to some kind of accident they are forced to swap jobs. With hilarious consequences.

    Pie In The Sky

    Ian Pie is the landlord of the Sky pub. In an attempt to attract custom each week he buys a different giant pie which goes wrong and ironically scares the public away. With hilarious consequences.

    Myy Cup Upstairs

    Ian Myy lives in a flat. His upstairs neighbour borrows one of his cups and then doesn't return it. The series details Ian Myy's contrived and failed attempts to get back the cup that is rightfully his.

    Babes In The Wood

    Two babies live in a piece of wood. Simple but brilliant.

    Chalk And Cheese

    Ian Chalk and Ian Cheese are two men. They are very different. As different literally as chalk and cheese. Consequently they don't really get on but occasionally they do something which makes them realise they are more similar than they initially thought and then Ian Cheese falls in a stream to break the seriousness of the moment.

    Bent Coppers

    Ian and Iain Bent are brothers who are policemen. One is corrupt and the other is homosexual. They both suffer from curvature of the spine, and they're made of copper – they're robots in the future.

    Ay On The Ball

    Adem Ay, who used to do the video game reviews on Live & Kicking, loses his to legs in an accident. Zoe Ball feels guilty that he was sacked and so offers to carry him around on her back thus he is literally 'eye on the ball'. If Zoe not available then Johnny Ball definitely is.

    Fruit And Nut

    Ian Fruit, a flamboyant elderly raconteur, shares a flat with Ian Nut, a dangerous schizophrenic who has escaped from Broadmoor Hospital. Ian Fruit can only eat nuts, Ian Nut can only eat fruit, but they are both allergic to fruit and nut chocolate. As Ian Nut is mad he always secretly puts fruit and nut chocolate in everything they eat. With fatal consequences.

    Honey I Swallowed Some Seamen

    Rick Moranis plays a hapless professor who accidentally turns himself into a killer whale. Each week he attacks a ship and eats some sailors.

    Men O Paws

    It's about cats who can talk, going through the change of life. Possible Eddie Izzard vehicle.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Obligatory "Lee and Herring" thing from donkey's years ago

      DING DING DING we have a winner

      "Bent Coppers

      Ian and Iain Bent are brothers who are policemen. One is corrupt and the other is homosexual. They both suffer from curvature of the spine, and they're made of copper – they're robots in the future."

    2. I am the liquor

      Re: Obligatory "Lee and Herring" thing from donkey's years ago

      I'm still waiting for "Orienteering with Napalm Death" to come on BBC4 like Stewart Lee promised. The trailer looked ace.

  67. Foob

    Adam and the Ants

    Adam Ant in a sitcom, looking after his farm of ants. Adam gets himself into a tricky situation each week, but the ants always come to the rescue!

  68. Ben Bonsall

    Ant tells the harrowing story of the rebirth of his career after he found Dec eviscerated in their hotel room, in Ventriloquism is not just for Dummies.

  69. Ben Bonsall

    Humphrey Littleton reviews Barry Cryer's favorite one-liners, in Humphrey Littleton's Jest of Baz.

  70. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Robert Plant's Lead Zeppelin

    Robert Plant is called in by musical instrument retailers when potential customers play stairway to heaven, black dog or whole lotta love when trying out guitars.

    The perpetrator(s) are subsequently launched from Beachy Head in a can guess the rest

  71. Ben Bonsall

    Prince Charles and the former Slade frontman go bargain hunting in Noddy and Big-ears go to Poundland.

  72. Ben Bonsall

    Celebrities go on cycling tours of the holy land in Christ on a bike.

    (Maybe I should do some work now.)

    1. Nuff Said

      Don't Stop Me Now

      Live streaming of never-ending series of increasingly tenuous music-related punning comments on a Register article - to a Queen soundtrack.

      1. Ben Bonsall

        Re: Don't Stop Me Now

        The much requested follow-up will be called The Show Must Go On.

  73. Ben Bonsall

    Marc Almond and David Ball are locked up together in a insane asylum, in Soft Cell.

  74. Ben Bonsall

    Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen, Jr. deny having ever met Rolf in 'Not You too?'

  75. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fleetwood Macs

    Watch members of Fleetwood Mac trawl through Fleetwood market for bargain raincoats.

    Doors With The Doors

    See the antics of The Doors as they take up apprenticeships in carpentry.

  76. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Buster Bloodvessels BAD MANNERS

    which we see 80's Two-Tone colossus Buster Bloodvessel get 'Black-Balled' from various Gentlemens Clubs in the City of London, for refusing to fill the glass on his right before passing the port on his left.

  77. JimRoyal

    Jemmy the Car with Jimmy Carr

    In which Jimmy Carr sets up a 'nice little earner' by breaking into and stealing high end cars. We follow him as he ships them overseas and arranges for the money to be channelled through a chain of offshore bank accounts.

  78. GrumpyWorld

    great new celeb TV

    Following the unexpected success of ‘Celebrity Popstar to Kitchen Fitter’; Tony Hadley Entertainment is proud to present their new reality TV show:

    ‘I used to be a Celebrity now get me a real job’

    Our hand-picked celebrities will each learn a new trade over the course of the next 13 weeks and each Friday night the celebs will pair up in order to demonstrate their new found skills. Viewers will then be able to vote on who stays and who goes.

    We’ve even managed to find a pair of Geordie presenters who can almost speak English and have not been seen on TV before. I think it’s fair to say that Pants and Dick are almost as thrilled as their Mams.

    In this week’s show:

    ‘Little’ Jimmy gets his first new hairstyle in over 30 years courtesy of Jodie who has been studying with well-known hair-stylist Nicki Clarke.

    Nicki has been cutting the hair of the good people of Wakefield for over 15 years from her salon above the Golden Dynasty take-away in Throgmorton St.

    Darius gets a crack wax from student beautician Mylene; if I know Darius he’ll really be looking forward to it.

    He’s positively bristling with anticipation.

    In our International Bakery challenge Preston gets to sample Paris’s baps.

    It’s probably his turn.

    This will be a truly life-changing opportunity for one of our Celebs, as, in a first for British Television, the winner will be awarded a prestigious NVQ certificate!

  79. Clive Galway

    Queen for a day

    Moustachio'd rocker Freddie Mercury and HRH The Queen swap places for a day.

  80. SeanEllis

    Jean-Michel's Jars

    Join France's premier electronic musician for a series of cookery programmes in which he demonstrates how to create the finest jams, preserves, pickles and chutneys while accompanying himself on the Laser Harp.

    Contains flashing images.

  81. JimRoyal

    You all lose

    On TV tonight is Lorraine Kelly's Penguin A&E. There's four, count 'em, one hour programs FFS.

    Madder than anything anyone here came up with

  82. Snafu1

    REMoval or REMover, where the eponymous band play their merry tunes to retirement homes' residents, in order to make more space for incoming candidates

    1 band point for resident leaving home

    2 band points for resident committing suicide/dying during performance

    5 res points for resident(s) violently forcing them to leave the premesis (room for single resident)

    10 res points for catatonic resident becoming concsious/aware

    25 band points for above catatonic resident immediately attempting suicide

    25 res points for above catatonic resident attempting to murder band (time limit: 3 weeks)

  83. Michelle Shocked

    Musical Chairs

    Music Manager Forum contestants in a game of Musical Chairs. Hijinks ensue when their clients discover the truth. Gentlemen, be seated!

    “Copyright did not come down from the mountain as the eleventh item on the tablet. Intellectual property is an incredible conceit, since society and business find it very useful in some ways. It is a way for people to get paid for theirs and others creations. Intellectual property is not something like a chair. If I’m sitting on that chair you can’t sit on that chair. And if these chairs are taken away and sold, we have to buy some more chairs. They are unique, physical objects. And in some sense that’s what the traditional record business was. If I had the record, you didn’t have the record. If a shop had five records and sold them, it didn’t have them anymore. In the digital world that’s not the case. If I have a file and copy it and send it to all of you, I’ve still got mine. If you send the file to another twenty people, we have 400 files flying around.” - Peter Jenner

  84. Ben Bonsall

    An in depth analysis of fashionable underpant brands worn by rappers, in Biggie's Smalls.

  85. Ben Bonsall

    Former friends of boyband stars Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow get the opportunity to tell them just how they feel about being forgotten the instant the band got famous, in 'Take That You Bastards.'

  86. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Who? The Who!

    60's rock legends visit retirement homes to try and regain alzheimer patient's lost memories

  87. Lightbot

    Mumford & Sons

    Follow the popular folk band as they donate to a sperm bank and then try to track down their offspring.

    1. I am the liquor

      Re: Mumford & Sons

      The trouble with this suggestion is it actually sounds like quite an interesting programme.

  88. Lightbot


    The Australian prog band adopt wolf pups for rehabilitation.

  89. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Moby Dick

    Follow the efforts of the soft spoken vegan musician as he causes as much havoc as he can to the Japanese whaling fleet.

  90. Lightbot

    The xx Marks the Spot

    Treasure hunting with the London indie trio

  91. I am the liquor

    Huey Lewis reads the News

    Domestic and international news headlines, followed by a radio-friendly, middle-of-the-road rock anthem, sports, and weather.

    1. William Towle

      Re: Huey Lewis reads the News

      > Domestic and international news headlines, followed by a radio-friendly, middle-of-the-road rock anthem, sports, and weather.

      "Motorway sun coming up with the morning light" ... travel and weather with Tom Robinson, next.

  92. I am the liquor

    Rage Against The Machine

    The 90s proto-nu-metal quartet compete in a series of challenges against machinery. Does bassist Tim Commerford have what it takes to defeat a ZX81 at chess? Can Zack de la Rocha run a cross-country course faster than Honda's ASIMO riding a Segway? Will drummer Brad Wilk be able to launder a load of soiled sleeveless T-shirts by hand faster than a Hotpoint Aquarius?

  93. I am the liquor

    Seasick Steve

    The grizzled blues man takes an ill-advised trip around Cape Horn in a small boat, and loses his entire stock of Dramamine overboard on the first day.

  94. I am the liquor

    Tory Amos

    Follow the flame-haired piano pesterer as she runs as a Conservative candidate in a Scottish by-election. Will she manage to avoid losing her deposit?

  95. I am the liquor

    Britney Spares

    A former teenage pop sensation tries to turn a profit from her fledgling car parts business.

  96. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Arcade Firestarters

    ​Fly on the wall documentary tailing Keith Flint as he cajoles the art-rock geniuses into torching British malls with upcycled hurdy-gurdy flamethrowers.

    Warning: may contain strobing and excessive guyliner.

  97. I am the liquor

    Queen's Peach

    Brian May and Roger Taylor compete for glory in the soft fruits category at the Stoke Poges Horticultural Show

  98. Taniwha12

    Hugh Grants Huge Grants

    Hugh Grant travels the country visiting students from underprivileged families, handing out grant money to the most needy.


    The Duke on Dukes

    David 'The Duke' Dickinson travels the country visiting real life dukes, discussing what it means to be a duke. He also keeps an eye out for any loosely secured bobby-dazzlers he can half-inch to sell on.

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