back to article Canadian rotter abducts giant Playmobil fireman

The good burghers of Ottawa have been asked to keep an eye out for a four-and-a-half foot tall Playmobil fireman which was abducted from outside a toy store on Wednesday afternoon. The abducted Playmobil fireman Debbie Harley, manager of Tag Along Toys in the city's suburb of Kanata, explained that a 20-something male simply …

  1. Locky

    You know the rules...

    Playmobil reconstruction or it didn't happen

    1. NoneSuch Silver badge
      Happy

      In other news...

      The Register has announced a follow-up to their PARIS project by building a new glider at 1/3 scale. The new device shall have a seven meter wing span. The pilot has not been officially named, but is expected to be under five feet in height to fit in the new cockpit.

    2. Scott 53

      Re: You know the rules...

      If there's a Playmobil reconstruction then it won't have happened.

  2. Steve Gill

    Just don't get it too accurate in case of incriminating yourselves

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It looks hollow, so...

    fill the next one to the brim with mercury and watch the hilarity ensue.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The clue is on his hat.

    The Formula One Management people have been removing anything on the internet with F1 on it.

  5. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
  6. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Bet: university student.

    1. compkriss

      Re: Bah!

      Well, there is a Beer Store opposite!

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    "unwitting bystander picked the appendages up and handed them to the man".

    There is such a thing as being too "nice", Canada!! :)

    Maybe the perp has the 3/4-scale Playmobil Swedish bikini team, and they were getting a little lonely? Trying to look on the bright side here.

  8. compkriss

    You never know, could have been the Ottawa Senators head coach looking for a new defenceman!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    the owners have received one of his legs and a ransom note...

    ...it reads, " IF YOU DON'T PAY US $5000 HE WILL NEVER WALK AGAIN"

    (with sincere apologies to Spike Milligan)

  10. Christian Berger

    Those figures at that size are common around Playmobilland

    For example I used to live in Langenzenn and there were quite a few of those >1m figures standing around.

  11. A. Coatsworth

    The more el Reg denies any connections to these daring playmobil heists, the less I am inclined to believe it.

    I don't know how these plastic figures play out in a nefarious global domination scheme, but rest assured, they do!

    1. Paul Renault

      They deny any involvement with the outrage, but they don't deny stealing it. A-ha!

  12. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    Elon Musk?

    Needs a "pilot" for testing out the manned flights?

    Ahhh, the power and reach of the El Reg SPB publicity arm!

  13. ColdMonkey
    Boffin

    They are SpyBots planted by the CIA

    This was obviously a CIA operative recovering one of their hidden cameras, they are trying to find out why Canadians are so nice.

  14. Joefish
    Happy

    In the capital of Corfu...

    In the capital of Corfu there's a police one that's been stood outside a toy shop for at least 10 years now - surprisingly unfaded by the Mediterranean sunshine. Perhaps he could investigate...

  15. W4YBO

    Tag Along Toys should have learned a lesson from the "Shoney's Big Boy". Either anchors or weight.

    As an aside, one of my neighbors with an attractive high-school aged daughter kept getting his rural roadside mailbox whanged by bat wielding car or truck passengers. He placed a ten inch PVC pipe section in a new mailbox and filled the voids with concrete. When the door is closed, you can't tell it's been modified.

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