back to article Dirty data: Tech-heavy Thames Valley scores big in adultery index

The UK’s tech hotspots have made a shockingly prominent showing in an adultery website’s list of the most adulterous towns in the UK – though some, thankfully, showed a dramatic slippage in extra-curricular activity compared to last year. Adultery site Illicit Encounter has helpfully applied a bit of big data magic to its …

  1. Gordon 10

    Whats the percentage of Newbury

    as its a damn sight smaller than somewhere like reading I would have actually thought that 800+ was a decent percentage.

    I guess it depends whether you measure at lunchtime or after 5pm when the Vodafone hordes have departed to their commutes.

    1. frank ly

      Re: Whats the percentage of Newbury

      Sorry, did you say "...the Vodafone whores..."?

      1. ecofeco Silver badge

        Re: Whats the percentage of Newbury

        For the win, frank.

        Up voted.

  2. Frederic Bloggs

    My Village

    According this site, in my village (which shall remain nameless) the rate is 17.8%. Which makes one think a bit as about 2/3 of the population of 500 is over 50 and getting for 1/2 of those are over 65.

    Or could there be another explanation?

    1. Mark 85

      Re: My Village

      So people over 50 or 65 don't have sex? Don't have affairs? I've always heard the hotspot for random sex were "retirement homes". When I hit that age, I'll report back.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well... it's a natural result of long hours culture

    End of the day, if your partner is not back from work till 10pm fighting yet another high tech crisis in the office... You gotta keep yourself entertained somehow...

  4. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Extra marital affairs

    Well, that's outsourcing for you.

    1. ecofeco Silver badge

      Re: Extra marital affairs


  5. x 7

    Something wrong in their ranking,,,,,,,,,

    there are around 138,500 people in the Lancaster area

    According to the website, the four biggest towns in the area have figures of

    Lancaster 5506

    Morecambe 395

    Heysham 395 (funny coincidence there)

    Carnforth 155

    i.e. a total of 6451, or..........4.66%. If you added in the villages it would be even higher.

    So do you really think 5% of the local population - the entire population including kids and OAPs - are shagging someone other than their partner courtesy of the website? That would equate to something like 10-15% of the sexually capable population and assumes everyone is married. If you exclude unmarried people, and then realise only a small proportion of the population will be using the site to get dates then you start to look at a figure of around 30% or more of the married adult population is shagging someone other than their spouse

    I don't believe it

    1. VinceH

      What they're really reporting (probably!) is "the number of accounts there are on our system from people claiming to be <wherever>"

    2. Pompous Git Silver badge

      I don't believe it

      Back in the early 1970s boffins looking at blood types in West Isleworth were taking the red stuff from entire families. They discovered that fully 30 percent of the children had blood types proving that they couldn’t possibly be biologically related to their “fathers.” The true rate of illegitimacy was still higher, though, because some fathers and bastards would have matching blood types due to coincidence. The researchers estimated that the true rate was around 50 percent. Other estimates I've seen place the figure at around 30% (US/UK data).

      It was blood types that tipped off to my sister that we had different fathers. Our mother hotly denied this, much to our amusement, but the evidence was incontrovertible.

    3. VulcanV5

      Sex abounds????

      Back in the 1920s they came up with a slogan for the then emergent seaside resort of Morecambe: "Health Abounds, Beauty Surrounds." Yeah. Snappy. Morecambe is dead nowadays with only druggies, alcos and dole hogs imported from elsewhere staggering around. None have much energy to get up off the floor still less to climb into someone else's bed. These "surveys" show only how pointless PR is: dreamt-up stats for clumsy fictions that are easily disproved when it's realised that Barnsley is more sexually sophisticated than Paris. 'S true. I read it somewhere.

      1. x 7

        Re: Sex abounds???? someone once said, the highlights of Morecambe life are watching the traffic lights change, the OAPs cross the road, and the pigeons die.

        Or was it the pigeons cross the road and the OAPs die..........I can't remember which now.

        But it isn't the end of the universe - you can see Barrow on the other side of The Bay. In Barrow nearly ALL sex is extramarital: you can't legally marry your sister or daughter.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    High Wycombe, with an estimated 2.12 per cent of the town...

    Is the Hellfire Club branching out, then?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    since when has Guildford been in the Thames Valley?

    The Wey Valley yes but not the Thames Valley.

    1. John G Imrie

      Re: since when has Guildford been in the Thames Valley?

      Global warming?

    2. Asylum_visitor

      Re: since when has Guildford been in the Thames Valley?

      Shouldn't that be The Wey-Hey! Valley? ;)

  8. Anonymous Coward


    Wow... website that requires some modicum of IT knowledge in order to hide activities from a partner shows that it is used by... wait for it... people who live in areas where IT jobs are prevalent.

  9. Alistair

    I suppose I should find out if my spouse is using this site


    possible adjustment for suspicious buggers is in order?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is extra-marital sex really a problem?

    I grew up and live in Seattle, so my perspective is a bit warped, but why is there such a revulsion about extra-marital sex? Disgust at the lies and sneaking around, that's a massive problem, but I don't find anything inherently evil in having sex with someone who is not a spouse. So long as everyone involved is aware of the situation, I see nothing wrong in it.

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: Is extra-marital sex really a problem?

      I grew up and live in Seattle, so my perspective is a bit warped

      Not suprising if the Mothers Live at the Fillmore east is anything to go by :-)

      Seriously though, couples whose libidos match are rare. If you can't get the extra marital sex you want then it's likely to be extra-marital sex that you seek. There was a chap from London living in Hobart back in the early 70s whose hobby was fornication. Actually, it was more like a vocation as he didn't work for a living. Anyway, he very politely asked every attractive female he met for sex and was surprisingly often successful. He told me that most of the women who said yes were in their first year of marriage.

      Those with an interest in the boffinry behind the evolution of our sexual habits will find Matt Ridley's Red Queen an interesting read.

    2. BinkyTheMagicPaperclip Silver badge

      Re: Is extra-marital sex really a problem?

      There isn't anything wrong with it, but this article is driven by a site called illicitencounters, so I think you can guess as to how much clearance has been obtained from the person you meet's partner(s)

  11. Version 1.0 Silver badge

    Location location location

    High Wycombe may score highly not because it's full of adulterers but simply because it's a very convenient for anyone in the Midlands to met someone from London without running into anyone they know. It's a safe location, not an especially sexy one.

    1. Pedigree-Pete

      Re: Location location location

      Have an upvote for getting sexy and High Wycombe into the same paragraph. One of the attached for anyone fitting it in the same sentence.

      1. x 7

        Re: Location location location

        if you Google for images for "sexy underwear High Wycombe" you'll find a site dedicated to the female friends of a High Wycombe lady allegedly named Trisha

        If you go there you'll need that pint, and probably another half dozen as well. Beer goggles definitely required

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