back to article Carly Fiorina makes like HP and splits – ex-CEO quits White House race

After her campaign garnered just four per cent of the vote in the New Hampshire primaries, Carly Fiorina has announced that she has suspended her run to be US commander in chief, but will carry on campaigning. "I've said throughout this campaign that I will not sit down and be quiet. I'm not going to start now," she said in a …

  1. Anonymous Coward

    Bring Marshmallows...

    There IS a "Special Place in Hell" for People who vote for Idiots.

    It's called "America".

    1. Crazy Operations Guy

      Re: Bring Marshmallows...

      Not the only hell for idiots voting for terrible people. Thatcher and Blair got into office...

      1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

        Re: Bring Marshmallows...

        Phony Tony made it into the big chair too, although (we like to think) mostly because of the stench emanating from the ALP government at the time.

    2. JungleJim

      Re: Bring Marshmallows...

      Actually, we Torontonians can claim prior rights to that. Remember Rob Ford?

      1. RoboticRabbit

        Re: Bring Marshmallows...

        Not entirely this time around. Just Etobicoke claims that right voting Rob Ford in repeatedly.

      2. C Montgomery Burns

        Re: Bring Marshmallows...

        Meh.. Rob Ford drunk or high off his ass was still a better mayor than David Miller on his best day.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Bring Marshmallows...(@lordnorthway)

      Well as far as I am concerned its a damn sight better country and people than Britistan.

      Really, why don't you just stop criticizing something that you don't even comprehend?

      1. Kurt Meyer

        Re: Bring Marshmallows...(@lordnorthway)

        @AC - While I admire your defence of your country, I am somewhat dismayed that you did so as an Anonymous Coward. Surely the pride you feel warrants the use of your regular handle, does it not?

        As for the OP, just do what I do. Every time you see his handle, think of his namesake, Lord North. That would be Frederick North, 2nd Earl of Guilford, Prime Minister of Great Britain from 1770 to 1782.

        If, as I believe, you are an American, that should bring a very large smile to your face.

  2. Crazy Operations Guy

    And good riddance

    As a victim of her reign of terror, I must say that she will not be missed...

  3. JohnMcL

    As prez she'd probably merge the USA with Lithuania, giving herself a bonus for doing so, and outsource all government work to India.

    1. a_yank_lurker

      Outsourcing the ferals, now that's an idea worth considering.

      1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

        Yeah, outsource the US fed's work to China - that'll be fun. To watch. From across the pond.

        1. Rich 11 Silver badge

          outsource the US fed's work to China

          Makes sense, since some of their data has already found its way to China...

        2. Tom 13


          Actually that would be $Hrillary. Fiorina would be more India or Pakistan.

  4. Pliny the Whiner

    And don't let the door hit you in the ass

    Jesus Christ, what an asshole. For at least the first four months of her "campaign," she decided that she needed to have a pissed-off look on her face each time a camera was aimed in her direction. What was she pissed off about and who was her role model for this behavior? Yeah, no one knows and no one cares.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: And don't let the door hit you in the ass

      It is not when the camera is pointing in her direction. That is her dear self in all her glory all the time.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Resting bitch face

      Isn't a good look in a president.

      Nor is whatever weird expression Trump always has where he purses his lips and sticks out his chin (my guess is that he must have a weak chin from the side and got in the habit years ago of doing that to cover it up)

      1. BurnT'offering

        Re: Resting bitch face

        Her face was on version 3.0 at the time. She's had a couple of updates installed since

  5. Florida1920

    Place your bets

    On which Republican will be chosen to lose the 2016 presidential election. It's a race to the bottom in that party.

    1. a_yank_lurker

      Re: Place your bets

      The donkeys have the choice between an unconvicted felon and a loon. So the elephants have company in looney tunes department.

      1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

        Re: loony tunes

        Would you fancy to set up an US Rhino party then?–93)

        Around my neck of woods, we have only mad squirrels and badgers. Not much of a party.

        1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

          Re: loony tunes

          Or a Bull Moose party, even?

          1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

            Re: loony tunes

            Mynd you, møøse bites kan be pretti nasti...

    2. TheOtherHobbes

      Re: Place your bets

      >It's a race to the bottom in that party.

      There is no bottom. There is only an infinite and endless Lovecraftian nightmare of churning evil, despair, desolation, horror, burning rage, and incredibly bad grooming choices.

      1. Alistair

        Re: Place your bets

        @ TheOtherHobbes.

        I kinda picture a combination of 50 shades of grey, The Hunger Games, and The Running Man.

        But I am somewhat twisted.

  6. Me19713

    HP Flashback?

    ... baby's brain being harvested from "a fully formed fetus on the table, its heart beating, its legs kicking," ...

    Sounds to me like she's describing what she did to Hewlett-Packard. Some kind of flashback triggered by whatever they put in the Kool-Aid at headquarters.

  7. RoboticRabbit

    Call the exterminator.

    This woman is like a snail. She leaves a trail of slime everywhere she goes.

  8. x 7

    "A feminist is a woman who lives the life she chooses and uses all her God-given gifts."

    sounds like all feminists are working girls then - they certainly make use of all their god-given gifts

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's not the worst definition of feminism I ever heard out of the mouth of a self-professed feminist.

      Seriously, somebody really needs to work on the documentation of that movement, it's really ambiguous right now.

      1. Rich 11 Silver badge

        Seriously, somebody really needs to work on the documentation of that movement, it's really ambiguous right now.

        It's not ambiguous, as such. What you see is what happens to any movement consisting of many people over many years: a number of different viewpoints and different groups emerge, and people outside the movement can come to have different opinions on it perhaps depending upon which viewpoint they've most recently seen or which seems to them the most vocal. The trick is not to mistake one part for the whole, and throw out the principle that there should be no discrimination on the grounds of sex just because you don't like the way one group expresses itself. After all, other groups in the movement may not like the way one group expresses itself either, but there's no Leviathan to enforce a single point of view upon all and nor should there be.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Sorry, Rich, what is your basis for saying that Feminism has the principle that there should be no discrimination on the grounds of sex? I can point you to a vast array of self-identifying feminists who reject that themselves.

      2. jon battle

        I neither know nor care what she's professed herself as - that slime has no clue about feminism, or anything-else-ism. She's a disgusting brainless turd with no clue about anything. And - dread - who knows what her next trick will be, after they wafted her stink out of (a) ATT (b) HP (c) cal senate race and now (d) god help us the republicans primaries?

  9. x 7

    "Carly Fiorina makes like HP and splits"

    who would actually like to see Carly Fiorina split?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No wonder people don't vote

    What's with these Republican candidates?

    It's either Evangelical Fundamentalist or dingbat crazy, or possibly both.

  11. Jos V


    Maybe I should send the Reg a note so they check what she screwed up before HP? Anybody remember how she turned Lucent into a debt-ridden quagmire, just escaping to HP before that bubble burst, basically starting to total implosion of the telecoms market?

    She and her ilk, Henry Schacht and Rich McGinn decided it was a brilliant idea to lend out money in the order of hundreds of millions of $ to companies with a single digit million revenue (Winstar anyone?).

    I remember, because I was employed there. I also witnessed many folks in the US, who worked for it for decades (starting under the former AT&T name) losing their entire 401K plan and being forced into "management plan" retirement with not a penny in their pocket, while this Carly witch walked out rich, on the way to ruin HP.

    Blergh. Carly.

    1. Tom 13

      Re: HP?

      Well there's at least one lie in that post:

      losing their entire 401K plan

      You can't lose your entire 401K plan. That's it's big benefit over a pension. Any money YOU put in the plan is yours. You also can't lose your vested money. You can only lose whatever unvested part of it exists.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ding dong the witch is dead (politically)

    A woman who thinks actually being to the right of Sarah Palin is acceptable and who can be pro feminist and anti abortion in the same breath belongs on the rubbish bin of history.

    Actually stooping below the level of most of the other male republican candidates is a massive triumph for Women's rights - not.

    Nasty piece of work.

  13. Amazon Wageslave
    Paris Hilton


    Shamelessly stolen from someone on Twitter:

    "If Carly Fiorina really wants to destroy Planned Parenthood, she should become its CEO"

  14. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    The nightmare isn't over yet - there is still the possibility of a Vice President Fiorina under a President Trump. If that should happen, say goodbye to NASA.

    1. x 7

      " Fiorina under a President Trump"

      I guess you could say that would trump Monica Lewinski

    2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      I doubt it. I don't see Fiorina as a particularly useful running mate. What does she bring to the ticket? She's a woman, but ideologically she doesn't bring any significant diversity to any of the front-running men, most of whom already have the "rich white idiot good at losing other people's money" category sewn up. She has a horrible track record at actually attracting voters; the longer she campaigns, whether it's for the Senate or the Presidency, the less they like her.

      She's not likely to give the Republicans California, which hasn't gone Republican in a presidential election since Bush I. That's not to say they couldn't take it this year, but if so, it wouldn't be because of Fiorina.

      The GOP will try to force whoever secures the nomination to take one of the other front-runners as running mate, in order to paper over an acrimonious campaign season; or they'll pick someone who's likely to help in a region where the nominee is weak. In the latter case they may well go with someone relatively obscure, again to help voters forget about the nastiness of the primary campaign. With most of the likely nominees, they could really use someone with some gravitas, though the idiotic anti-incumbency they've fostered makes it hard to pair the nominee with anyone who has useful experience.

      Edit: Meant to add that the idea of her getting a cabinet post, as suggested in the article, is even more bizarre. While Trump, in particular, is a nitwit, I can't see even him making that mistake.

      (And I'll add proleptically that I find plenty to dislike on the other side too. But that's a rant for another time.)

  15. hplasm

    Foff Fiorina!

    " I will continue to travel this country and fight for those Americans who refuse to settle for cheap ink."

    HP used to be great.


  16. tiggity Silver badge

    Ideally qualified for politics

    Habitual liar, track record of screw ups, able to hold 2 views totally at odds (pro feminism, anti abortion, though her idea of feminism seems not to match any "normal" version), no morals / compassion.

    Top political qualifications (which is a sad comment on politics)

    1. YARR

      I don't follow "normal"...

      Why should the issues of feminism and abortion be tightly bound?

      Are you are against the oppression of women but in favour of the extreme oppression (infanticide) of the unborn? That would be 2 views totally at odds then.

      1. YARR

        Stand up for women's rights: book an abortion.

        OK, just vote me down without reason then. I guess I deserve it, as anyone who thinks evacuating the life of an innocent is wrong must be a women hater.

        1. x 7

          Re: Stand up for women's rights: book an abortion.

          "Stand up for women's rights: book an abortion."

          it would probably have helped many people if Carly's parents had thought that way

  17. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    "she would fight against [..] "our bloated, inept government bureaucracy."

    You mean, like fighting against those pig-headed nitwits who never change their opinion even when they have been publicly demonstrated to be wrong ?

    Well if it takes one to know one, she's certainly on track to succeed in finding them.

  18. JeffyPoooh

    Big mouth, small brain

    Even just as CEO of HP made me queazy.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    She's practicing for the real deal

    She knew there was no chance of her doing anything significant in the upcoming election but she needed to mix with the political power brokers to position herself for a serious run down the road in 4-8 years.

  20. tekHedd

    Carly For President...

    because you don't know anybody who work(s|ed) at HP.

  21. Tom 13

    another was forced to resign after passing classified information to his mistress. Fiorina said she stood by her statement.

    Given the general was forced out for far less serious offenses than the ones $Hrillary committed and that the general was decried but 0bamaphiles with the name General Betrayus long before the mistress scandal was revealed, she still has a valid claim on that one.

    I suspect the other one you are trying to discredit was the one was widely expected to be renewed as an apolitical appointment and which The Big 0 politicized by not doing so.

    I'm still happy to see her gone from the campaign trail, but I will give credit to the lady where it is due.

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