One can only wonder
Why the pub doesn't open before 11 AM.
"Why does it always have to be so difficult with you guys?" the new Boss asks. "What do you mean?" the PFY says. "Difficult. Why is it that whenever we have some suggestion and take it to you, you spend all your time thinking of reasons why you can't do it – or why we shouldn't do it – or something like that. Why can't you …
Strictly speaking the 11am opening is just tradition held over from before the Licensing Act 2003, before that act pubs were restricted to opening between 11:00-23:00.
Of course the real reason is that people who work in pubs were up until well past 11pm last night because you were still sat there well after last orders had been called you insensitive bastard you, so they need the lie-in until 10.
.... and remind me - how old do you have to be to buy alcohol in the various United States of America?
21 in all 50 states. There was some talk about pushing a federal drinking age of 24 earlier this year, but I don't think the feds actually have the Constitutional power to do that. Not that that's ever stopped them.
Poor Brits. In America the pub opens at 6am
What part of America are you in? Around here a few open around 11 for lunch and the rest open sometime between noon and five. At least one (the one nearest to my house) doesn't open until 6pm, just before the second-shifters at the local beef packing plant start rolling out.
Not that I'd ever suggest that there's a connection between when the biggest employer in the area schedules their largest shift to get off and when the bars open.
Pour Americans. In Denmark night bars opens before the regular one closes around 2-3am. The morning bars then takes over until the day bars (typically called brown bars/bodegas) begins and runs until the regular ones takes over for the early night. See, Socialism works.
Maybe that's why I leave the "big picture" to someone else, any "big idea" I have is immediately followed by "and how, exactly, would you do this and what would it actually achieve?" There should be a law that all marketing/ management/ soi-disant "visionaries" should have to do some years' time trying to make other people's crackpot ideas work before they start spewing their own rainbows- and- lollipops "concepts". (And, in fairness, there are some who worked in the trenches before rising to the pretty office and have a grasp on the nuts and bolts needed to get from A to B.)
Once again I wonder whether Simon gets his inspiration from the place here. Not only do they have great ideas with the feasibility of manned space travel to the moon for £5 per capita, but also utter all day -and night for that matter- the thinnest and stinkiest oral diarrhoea you can imagine. (Btw, also nightly because apparently due to extensive mental masturbation during the day, they won't have the time to write their dumbest e-mails until 2.30 a.m.)
And when you actually want to invest to greatly improve the efficiency of their processes, which had been in place since the dawn of dinosaurs, and lead to considerable savings, they decline because apparently they need to cut costs and hence can't invest anything. Unfortunately they still have quite some funds (besides loads of money already wasted), which will keep them going for years to come. Can hardly wait to see them drown though...
But for now I'll drown it - it's pub o'clock.
I would have thought that the simple answer to the demand that the Internet be made faster and better is to say 'sure' and send boss on his way. Then send said boss an official report two days' later stating the Internet has been made faster and better. It's in a report, so it must be true.
The two of them should start work on the Pinternet. A similar project but it involves measuring throughput in order to get more delivered and of a better quality. It may involve some out-of-house research nearby though in order to, em, validate the results.
In a previous job it was perfectly fine to pop round to the bar next door, order a few and bring the glasses back later.
Ended on one favourable day sampling enough booze to require desk support... Still cashed up perfectly balanced at the end of the shift (well it was a liquor merchants.....)
Due to interruptions, misinformation and other reasons I only just started updating the workstations on a boat. (The charts) I've never done this before and did not realise how slow it would be,. 6 x 20 minutes and it won't finish until 5pm. Whoever wrote this software was mad, it says "updating xxx of yyy" but yyy keeps increasing :(
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Following a late swot session at Uni me and a mate found ourselves in the unenviable position of having precisely 1 hour and 15 minutes to get to the only pub on campus and get suitably slaughtered. 1 hour 15 minutes later... mission accomplished. 8 pints of Belhaven 80/- consumed in an hour (the pub was a bit of a walk from the halls), the stagger back to the halls took considerably longer as our bodies tried to cope with the huge influx of liquid and alcohol. My mate attempted and failed to bomb one of the swans from the bridge with the remains of his 8th pint. Waster!
""Meaning someone will rock in here and say something like they want us to 'make the website better'," said the PFY."
AS someone with a list of 20+ improvement suggestions from Operations, most along the lines of "make it better", this rings true a rather large bell for me at the moment...
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