back to article Spanish village celebrates Playmobil nativity

We're obliged to expat reader Neil Tragham for alerting us to a forthcoming Playmobil Christmas celebration in his home village of Tivissa (Pop.: 1,500 + cattle). Poster for the Playmobil event in Tivissa Locals are invited to present "dioramas" featuring our fave figurines, and Neil says he'll be on hand over the weekend …

  1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson
    Joke

    They clearly want to show the nativity did happen.

    After all:

    Playmobil or it didn't happen!

  2. hplasm
    Coat

    All that's missing-

    little baby cheeses.

    1. Dom 3

      Re: All that's missing-

      What's missing is someone taking a dump:

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caganer

    2. Trumpet Winsock IIIrd

      Re: All that's missing-

      Imported from "Cheeses of Nazareth"

      1. NathanD
        Thumb Up

        Re: All that's missing-

        The "Cheeses of Nazerath" joke is the best joke in the world, IMHO.

        1. Peter Simpson 1
          Thumb Up

          Re: All that's missing-

          Apparently, you can now get the t-shirt:

          http://www.cafepress.com/+cheeses-of-nazareth+t-shirts

          and there's actually a real life cheese store in Nazareth, PA:

          http://calandracheesesofnazareth.com/

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: All that's missing-

      ding dong mini-bell

  3. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    Of course she considers it a birthright

    Should she play with presents from the 25th till the 7th then go back to school or should she play with presents from the 6th till the 7th then go back to school? Tough question.

  4. John Hawkins

    Fred Dagg

    Brings to mind the Fred Dagg Christmas carol of my distant youth...

    We three kings of Orient are

    One on a tractor, two in a car

    One on a scooter

    Tooting his hooter

    Following yonder star

    1. WraithCadmus

      Re: Fred Dagg

      Huh, the version I knew was 'Smoking a big fat cigar'.

      Can El Reg readers come up with any more variations?

      1. Yugguy

        Re: Fred Dagg

        My 10 year old daughter is singing a version as follows:

        We three kings of orient are.

        One in a taxi, one in a car.

        One on a scooter, blowing his hooter,

        Wearing his sister's bra.

        Star of wonder, star of light.

        Fill your pants with dynamite.

        Light the fuse and off you go,

        All the way to Mexico.

    2. Peter Simpson 1
      Happy

      Re: Fred Dagg

      And from my childhood:

      We three kings of orient are.

      Tried to smoke a rubber cigar.

      It was loaded,

      It exploded,

      Scattered us near and far.

      No, it doesn't make much sense, but it sure was funny when I was six years old.

      Happy Holidays!

      1. Little Mouse Silver badge

        Re: Fred Dagg

        It was a "German" cigar back in my day. (Germans still being the go-to bad guys at the time...)

        Has swapping the word "German" for "Rubber" made it more, or less, PC?

    3. Esme

      Re: Fred Dagg

      Only variant I heard as a lass referenced the Fab Four;

      We three kings of Orient are,

      John in a Taxi,

      Paul in a car.

      George on a scooter,

      Beeping 'is 'ooter

      Following Ringo Starr

    4. Any mouse Cow turd

      Re: Fred Dagg

      The one I always sung...

      We three kings of orient are,

      Selling ladies underwear,

      So fantastic,

      No elastic,

      Only a penny a pair.

      1. William Towle
        Go

        Re: Fred Dagg

        > We three kings of orient are,

        > Selling ladies underwear,

        > So fantastic,

        > No elastic,

        "...falling down everywhere", in the version with which I was familiar

        > Only a penny a pair.

        But I quite like that :)

    5. Vic

      Re: Fred Dagg

      Checksum error...

      One on a tractor, two in a car

      One on a scooter

      1 + 2 + 1 != 3 :-(

      Vic.

  5. lawndart

    You could get Katarina a nice pipe rack as a stocking filler.

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

      Or a new lab coat, preferably in black given her (approximate) age...

  6. Peter Simpson 1
    Alert

    Krampus

    Perhaps you need to introduce your daughter to the antithesis of Jolly Old Saint Nick (tm).

    Christmas has gotten altogether too cheerful and positive of late, Krampus restores the downside, reminding naughty little boys and girls that maybe a lump of coal isn't the worst that could happen to them.

    Krampusnacht...5 December. If you've been good, you'll get to see the morning of the 6th :-)

    1. Fraggle850

      Re: Krampus

      Nice to see Krampus getting a mention, I just hope his image doesn't suffer now that he's become subject matter for Hollywood: it can only be a matter of time before he gets the Disney treatment.

      1. Peter Simpson 1

        Re: Krampus

        ...he gets the Disney treatment.

        Oh, I do hope not.

        The unknown is so much more motivating than the saccharine, where malevolent mythical beings are concerned

  7. Fraggle850

    Hey, wait a goddam minute...

    This wouldn't have anything to do with the recent French Playmobil heist, would it?

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/11/17/french_playmobil_heist/

    Odd that people affiliated with El Reg (aka accomplices) are publicising a very small Spanish village with an apparent abundance of Playmobil. Is 'Neil Tragham' (if that is his real name) the 'fence' in a European playmobil crime syndicate? Perhaps this whole 'tech journalism' thing that El Regards purports to do is just a front? Maybe they're really international playmobil pushers, no doubt involved in gang warfare with the infamous lego massive?

    1. lawndart

      Re: Hey, wait a goddam minute...

      Neil Tragham is an anagram of "Heil Magrat" with a rogue N thrown in to confuse. Clearly the police should be searching for a trio of thieving German witches.

      Wait a minute - it's also an anagram of La Nightmare". Arrest all horses!

      This sleuthing stuff is easy, Watson.

      1. Fraggle850

        Re: Hey, wait a goddam minute...

        Indubitably so Holmes. I also see the anagram 'malign heart', surely an indication of dark intent. The plot thickens...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    a playmobil fence writes

    Trust me...it came as a shock after leaving London to sleep in a truck, in a forest, up a mountain, 6kms from Tivissa to discover that this Catalan village is a hotbed of Playmobil action. I can confirm that all playmobil used in the displays have been owned for at least 20 years and that no French playmobil figures are involved....

    1. Fraggle850

      Re: a playmobil fence writes

      Phew, what a relief. Obviously I'll take what you say at face value and not make any untoward inferences from the fact that you've posted anonymously.

  9. Ed_UK

    Playmobil vs Lego

    http://www.bricktestament.com/the_life_of_jesus/

    Years go, I used to read this site at work, until they brought in net-nanny-ware, which blocked it for containing nudity. IT'S LEGO FFS, put together by a non-believer. I recommend the sections on The Law from the Old Testament. Good thing we now have the Geneva Convention which trumps the rule to slaughter your PoWs, keeping the female virgins, natch.

    1. Fraggle850

      Re: Playmobil vs Lego

      Just had a quick look at revelations, that's some f*cked up sh*t! It does beg the question though: which is the path of the true believer, Lego or Playmobil? I can see a schism here, no doubt followed by a few centuries of religious war.

      I'd like to see the guy give certain similar books of fairy stories the same treatment, possibly ones beginning with a K?

  10. leeCh
    Pint

    Lego / Playmobil - which would the baby cheesuz have played with?

    Cos if you've ever actually read it, the Magi (AKA Wise Men, really astrologers) took a couple of years to get there, found the Toddler Cheese (no longer baby bel) in a house, gave him his 3 pressies - which DID NOT include either Lego or Playmobil - yeah I know he's 2, choking hazards and all that, but come on...

    Then they bogged off without telling Herod, who did have a tantrum and threw all of his Lego / Playmobil all around, before getting every toddler 2 and under slaughtered.

    Gotta love Xmas - it's called xmas cos it's like a skin rash.

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