Bringing discipline to development, without causing pain

There’s that question you’ve always wanted to ask in an interview when the dialogue has gone really well and you know you’re about to get offered the job, but you don’t want it anyway. Interviewer: “Great, so do you have any questions that you would like to ask me?” Candidate: “Well, if I’m traveling in a car at the speed of …

[Ken 16]

comp[aring Apples, Oranges, Durian

Code management is a Software Development process, all the things mentioned in the last section are Operational Architecture. Putting in Security, Availability, Performance etc. has to happen regardless of whether it's Agile, Waterfall or Basic with lots of GOTO's.

[Anonymous Coward]

meaningless buzzword soup

GitSwarm, millenials, DevOps, hot-desking, necessitate, system faith, luxuriating, pure GIt-based workflow, ...

Seriously?

[Swarthy]

Re: meaningless buzzword soup

Okay, so it's not just me that found this article pretty much meaningless?

From the headlight question on, I was trying to figure out the meaning, and failing; this commentary reads like someone shifting paradigms without a clutch.

[Doctor Syntax]

Re: meaningless buzzword soup

"Okay, so it's not just me that found this article pretty much meaningless?"

No. I bailed out at "There’s no I in ‘team’". No but there is in intelligence, ingenuity, genius, innovation...

What a bollocks-fest.

[Lysenko]

Re: meaningless buzzword soup

I don't know. Git Swarm and Git Based Workflow are concepts I can certainly identify with ... but then I know what a Git is.

[OzBob]

Re: meaningless buzzword soup

So nice to see Verity Stob back. ...... What, you mean,..... Oh.

[Matt 21]

Re: meaningless buzzword soup

To paraphrase somebody else, there's no "I" in team but there is a "me".

[27escape]

Re: meaningless buzzword soup

The is no 'F' in team either, in most cases where people raise the 'I' comment

[Swarthy]

Re: meaningless buzzword soup

"There is no 'I' in team"

"True, but there's also no 'F' in way"

...When my supervisor figured it out, he was not happy with me.

[Anonymous Coward]

re: We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

Can we? Git is for people who don't trust the other people working on their code base. If you're part of a team and you actually work together subversion is better.

[AndrueC]

Re: re: We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

Obligatory XKCD reference.

[Swarthy]

Re: re: We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

ObligatoryBetter XKCD reference

[NotBob]

Re: re: We can say with some certainty that developers like using Git as a repository manager.

Given the "No I in 'team'," it also seems obligatory to point out http://xkcd.com/1562/

[John Smith 19]

I'm so old I think a 6 year old child could understand this article

So get me a six yo child.

'Cause I'm b**gered if I can understand a word of it.

And believe me I've read a lot of IT BS marketing

[Anonymous Coward]

Answer to the question is "Yes: the speed of light is constant for all observers regardless of their motion."

Can't promise that time would stay the same though, relatively speaking :(

[Anonymous Coward]

All we need now is amanfrommars to post a comment on this story and the circle of meaningless shite will be complete.

[fruitoftheloon]

And now a word from our sponsors

Jay's precis:

Some sh1t doesn't always work.

So please check ours out

Were the editing team in the pub when this drivel went through the CMS??

[Andy 73]

So...

Article sponsored by Perforce says free software repackaged by Perforce is good?

Colour me surprised.

My experience of large, complex and geographically distributed enterprise development is that repository management is far less an issue than the integration of CI and testing environments. (Unless no-one wants to actually trust devs with a tool that tracks and can revert every change they make.) Discipline around who can see what is less important than the ability of teams at many different stages of the development cycle to independently commit, test and release changes.

Expensive management tooling on top of otherwise free tools does not solve these issues.

[Anonymous Coward]

What would really happen

Candidate: “Well, if I’m traveling in a car at the speed of light and I turn the headlights on, does anything happen?”

Interviewer: "Yes. Some twat like you puts a photo on Instagram and then tweets some stupid shit. Now take your thumb out of your mouth, piss off back to Costas and make me a coffee, you small-balled embryo."

Interview concluded. Real developer hired later that day.

[Anonymous Coward]

I have been asked to explain the special theory of relativity and "The Usual Suspects"

The plot of the "The Usual Suspects" was tougher.

[Long John Brass]

I’m traveling in a car at the speed of light and I turn the headlights on, does anything happen?”

If you have mass you can't travel at the speed of light

[CaptainHook]

I’m traveling in a car at the speed of light and I turn the headlights on, does anything happen?”

If you have mass you can't travel at the speed of light

*****

A photon has mass, and is by definition, traveling at the speed of light.

[Swarthy]

Re: I’m traveling in a car at the speed of light and I turn the headlights on...?"

A photon has no mass, they have mass equivalence. IE: They have so much energy that it can be detected as mass.

Or is it that they are Protestant (no Mass) but they do partake of Sacraments (Mass equivalence)?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I’m traveling in a car at the speed of light and I turn the headlights on...?"

Well I'd hire all 3 of you (assuming you're not a wave).

[Yag]

Mono-repo?

As I'm quite light headed after this article, can someone tell me if I'm right...

Is this "mono-repo" concept simply the same as how CVS/SVN/ClearCase/... works, but with the clunky interface and slowness of GIT?

[Bob Dole (tm)]

Re: Mono-repo?

The tldr; is that git does not work in enterprise development, but they recognize that it is quite popular, so they are using "git" names and lots of obfuscation in order to confuse devs into thinking it's really git and not one of those other tools under the covers.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Mono-repo?

@Bob Dole: When you write "that git" are you referring to the author of this article?

[koolholio]

Wishful thinking has no place in computer science

As regards to the interviewing question, I despise developers that ask such a question/have that mindset, since if they were proper developers they'd have already researched the physics (including quantum physics) behind it, before asking the question since, critically, computing is a science.

The same applies to "how many sides on a amplituhedron"