back to article Google stock buy-back: You'll groan when you realize where that $5,099,019,513.59 figure came from

Internet advertising giant Google is still banking boatloads of ad cash, and plans to buy back billions in stock. The Mountain View goliath said its mobile advertising revenues were particularly strong over the previous three months, as it saw gains in the number of clicks on banners. Here are the top GAAP stats and facts …

  1. jgarry
    Thumb Up

    Larry Ellison $49.3B

    Alphabet class C stock market cap: $450B

    You're right, they do have more money than God.

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      God's net worth

      I did not expect to find a single clear undisputed value because the catholic church has many large properties which are difficult to put a price on and plenty of people would like a large or small number to support their propaganda. I did see plenty attempts at passing off misleading numbers (both sides), and some (over simplified) ways to value unique property were not even mentioned, eg:

      (Tourist revenue - maintenance)/(Competitive return on investment)

      After a quick search, I can clearly state that over a decade ago the catholic church either had for more or far less value than the current market capitalisation of Google, depending on where you look and what currency they were using.

      Has anyone seen convincing, clear and honest official numbers? I bet Tim Worstall could do an article that leads to a spectacular flame war.

      1. James 51

        Re: God's net worth

        There's the art work which could correctly be termed priceless so that alone makes it hard to pin down how much the church has. Of course if they could never sell it, does it still belong in the asset column?

        1. Richard 22

          Re: God's net worth

          The Catholic church isn't God though, just one of the franchises.

          1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

            Re: God's net worth

            I see them (any of them) as the ground support crew. You know, PR, marketing, end user support, and so on.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: God's net worth

              I see them (any of them) as the ground support crew. You know, PR, marketing, end user support, and so on.

              Call me fickle, but I don't like how they have been treating the groupies then..

      2. Tim Worstal

        Re: God's net worth

        You're absolutely right, it depends upon what you consider to be "wealth".

        In theory, every church is owned by the Church. Which is a pretty big real estate portfolio. And I doubt there's a mortgage on much o it.

        But a decent net value would try to take things like maintenance costs into account. And I very much doubt that any of them run at a profit on that basis. So maybe the net value of that real estate is negative?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: God's net worth

          They've been selling off real estate (actual churches) to raise cash to pay for the settlements and compensation for their members fiddling with the altar boys and other sins in decades past.

          So their real estate is real money. They sell for high end of hundreds of thousands of dollars in these parts. One is now a pet food store (may not be directly related).

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I thought that you were going to tell us that it was from behind the cushions of the furniture removed from Brin's old office.

  3. Cesar _

    Stock is way up after results.

    Uhh, the market was closed when the results came out.

    The stock was up over ten percent in after market trading!!

    1. frank ly

      Re: Stock is way up after results.

      Will this affect executive bonuses?

    2. ratfox Silver badge

      Re: Stock is way up after results.

      The news failed to turn heads on Wall Street one way or the other. Google stock was up by a modest 1.43 per cent at the end of the day, trading at $651.79 per share.

      Erm. That happened before they released the results. The stock was up 10% after hours to $720, which I believe is an all-time high.

  4. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    "Money is God in action" - Reverend 'Ike' Eirenkoetter

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Reverend Ike

      Sorry, typo. I never can get his name right without looking him up: Frederick J. Eikerenkoetter II

      BTW, I found the quote in 'Rolls Royce - The Complete Works' by Fox, Mike and Smith, Steve

      (Faber, 1984). Good read. Hundreds of little anecdotes about Rolls-Royce Motorcars, their inventors and their Owners. Also a chapter on popular myths. Usually, the real stories are way cooler than the myths.

      1. JeffyPoooh

        Re: Reverend Ike

        Book ordered, Used - Very Good. Cheap as chips.

        Thank you.

    2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      "Money is God in action"

      Except on Wall Street, where God is Money in action.

  5. EuroAnchor

    The square root of 26 is 5.099.

    Don't worry, you are only 5099019508.5 out.

    1. JeffyPoooh

      "The square root of 26 is 5.099."

      Next time, don't use a slide rule for precision numerical work.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And they paid just 37 cents in tax.....

  7. JeffyPoooh

    When a corporation buys back its own stock...

    What happens when a corporation buys back the very last stock?

    Who owns them then?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: When a corporation buys back its own stock...

      They will become a free company. No longer chained to pick cotton for shareholders.

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