El Reg celebrates Back to the Future Day

Competition ended

[Anonymous Custard]

Marty's peril sensing glasses respond instantly to his old man's tie.

[Anonymous Custard]

Marty still couldn't get the 'net connected kettle to work, so had to make do with water instead

[Anonymous Custard]

Hurry up, I don't want to be late...!

[lawndart]

"... and finally the Japanese tsunami of 2011. Why aren't you writing this all down?"

[Anonymous Custard]

Can I go back and get a proper breakfast?

[Anonymous Custard]

Breakfast? Where we're going we don't need breakfast!

[Anonymous Custard]

Bacon to the future

[picturethis]

"ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......................Did you say something Dad?"

[Peter Simpson 1]

21st century and we still can't do anything without coffee...

[Graham Marsden]

You're telling me people pay over £3 for a cup of coffee in 2015...?

[Come to the Dark Side]

Marty's VR tour of the Soylent Green production facility made him feel rather queasy as he quaffed his goop

[Graham Marsden]

Damn those IoT hackers, that was supposed to be a cappuccino!

[seanj]

"Ok Google, find me the nearest Starbucks..."

[Nathan 13]

Dad, why do they call a small coffee "tall" ?

[Androgynous Cupboard]

... but what was about to surprise Marty most about 2015 was the modern replacement for the colostomy bag.

[Tom Servo]

2015 Mike J Fox says

Hey, I managed to get 20% in the glass this time!

sorry........

[alain williams]

Marty says

These fancy specs don't make your tie look any better.

[PoorLumpyPony]

That reference

Stop changing the past, break the cycle Marty, Rise above. Focus on ties

[Tom Servo]

Re: That reference

*burp*

[Erewhon]

"These Google Glasses are excellent - it's like I'm actually drinking their Kool-Aid"

[Known Hero]

Hololens !

Can you just get your fist out of my Minecraft world !!!

[Fibbles]

"Does everyone in the future drink their coffee shaken?"

[Anonymous Coward]

"Why are you still wearing those Google Glass prototypes? They're not retro yet!"

[Anonymous Coward]

Tired of the tat

Could be a sign of gumpy old man syndrome, but I'm tired of all of the tat and hype generating "spontaneously" created memes, blogs and posts whenever a big media company wants to promote its wears.

[AceRimmer]

Re: Tired of the tat

I don't get it

[Anonymous Coward]

Grumpy old man? There's a t-shirt for that.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/GRUMPY-MENS-Funny-Printed-T-Shirt/dp/B00CJF7GK6.

[synogy]

A steady hand was all that was needed.

[PleebSmash]

nothing to celebrate

No portable consumer fusion reactors, no flying cars, no hoverboards.

No hope.

[thefridayshirt]

Pour me a drink, I'm heading off to travel back to the point before I paid $1,500 for this Google Glass. And people told me "that's $1,500 you'll never get back"... little did they know!

[Nik Shaw]

With this new Oculus Rift you can really smell the coffee !

[Anonymous Custard]

Thank god it's only your tie - last time I was seeing ears everywhere!

[oomwat]

Marty Luwak

Marty: Why is your coffee green?

Marty Sr: I made this coffee myself - first I ate the beans, then I used a sieve to retrieve them - that's why it has the greenish tint.

[TheProf]

A digital wristwatch? That's a pretty neat idea.

[monty75]

+1 for knowing where your towel is.

[Kane]

"A digital wristwatch? That's a pretty neat idea."

Really? Cos' I'm increasingly of the opinion that we've all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place.

[Jon Robinson]

Kinetic watch charge

Hold still son, this Pepsi Perfect is difficult to pour when you're charging up your watch.

[JayBizzle]

With these augmented reality glasses you can still have shit coffee at home but pretend you're still in that crappy Cafe 80's.

[Alex King]

Hey, dad, what's with all the retro 1980s shit in the kitchen?

[kbb]

"Marty marvels that it's 8am and his dad's iWatch still has 4% charge."

[Jon Robinson]

October 21st

What do you mean, it's Back to The Future Day today?!

[kbb]

Sometimes, when you see your father going commando, you curse the latest Google Glasses update that added x-ray functionality.

[MrT]

"One cup of hot lava coming through"

"Yeah, nice Scrubs meme dad, but that's the mob spawner - the lava pit is in the butter dish..."

[Sir Barry]

The Shoreditch Hipsters haven't caught on to the new two of everything look yet"

[JASR]

Stop looking at my nipple flaps! You'll miss the glass!

[Jon Robinson]

right, drink this before you go to college, don't forget to load the dishwasher, don't spend all day with those glasses on, and if you're back before 3pm remember that bloke from B&Q is coming round to measure up the kitchen - I finally got mom to agree to pay for new units. And clear up all your retro tat off the worktops before he gets here!

[mark 120]

Coffee in 2015

The VR goggles couldn't do anything for the taste of the coffee, but at least they made the barista look attractive .

[JayBizzle]

"I'm not sure where Jennifer is mom, she should have been home hours ago and I am having a hard time keeping track of her these days...."

[Jon Robinson]

both say at the same time...

you're not going out dressed like that are you?!

[Jon Robinson]

This is heavy

I know it is dad! you keep saying - why not just buy it from Costa like everyone else does!

[Jason Bloomberg]

"I fill it half full of boiling water. You plunge your cock into it. As the water cools it creates a vacuum, engorges your organ, and the girls won't be able to resist you".

[Matt Siddall]

In this alternate TimeLine, Google Glass managed to look even worse, but somehow made the coffee smell better

[JayBizzle]

Hey son, whilst you're watching the atrocity channel, drink this atrocity that I made to go with the atrocity that I am wearing....

[monty75]

Yeah, I bought it by fax from Amazon.

[Jon Robinson]

Right - don't tell your mom, but Biff just called and he thinks he can get you an audition for Charlie Sheens replacement in Two and Half Men.

[Jon Robinson]

The same argument over and over again!

For the last time I didn't call you a chicken!

I said "I feel like chicken tonight" when you asked me what I wanted for dinner

[Patched Out]

Son, you can go wherever you want to with those VR goggles, but you still gotta drink this coffee made in our 1980's kitchen!

[fridaynightsmoke]

Griff Tannen wants to connect with me on LinkedIn?

[mark 120]

You won't believe this dad, but Teasmaid say that in 2015 coffee will pour itself!

[monty75]

Erm, you might want to wipe the browsing history on these glasses before you let mom use them.

[chivo243]

Just watched

the first one last night, and we are ready to watch the second one this evening, popcorn for everybody!

[Jon Robinson]

old joke

"he he, Hey son, what's ET short for?"

Groan - "It's because he's got little legs dad!"

[tplace]

The many reasons why crowdsourcing should be banned!

[Grey& wet]

But Dad, Premier May has banned all forms of human engagement using non-trackable means. Put your igoggles back on.....

[MartinBZM]

Back ...

You call this coffee ?

Oh well... Back to the fu... ehrm... Forward to the past I mean.

[Jon Robinson]

halloween costume

It's a good try son, but you don't look much like Geordi La Forge, and he's not actually that scary.

still, 10 days to think of something better.

[Geoff May]

Is this the same stuff that Harry Styles drank?

[burnabao]

Marty Jr: "No coffee thanks, I'm going back to the fruit juice..."

[Tardious]

"Hold it still, I'm posting this on Instagram"

[stephenb]

1.21 pence?! 1.21 pence?! Great Scott!

(Amazon UK tax submission form)

[MAF]

Why is the coffee purple Marty? Because we're going back to the Fuschia!!

[PatientOne]

Marty felt that Doc had let his amazing time machine go to his head when he insisted Marty now test these sonic glasses...

[Jon Robinson]

I've put the piano in the orchard, so we can play Bach to the fruit tree.

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes you little turd,

your goggles might make it LOOK like lemonade but enjoy a half pint of fresh man-water.

[monty75]

Apparently VW have been cheating on the Mr Fusion nuclear emission tests.

[Anonymous Custard]

Just a quick coffee - I need to McFly...

[Anonymous Custard]

Time McFly's like an arrow, everyone else gets a coffee

[Anonymous Custard]

On double time...

[John Miles 1]

Now watch it flow back into the jug when I reverse the time direction control

[Anonymous Coward]

...

there is

a tie

in Hill Valley

they call the 'risein sun...

[Heironymous Coward]

time travel used wisely

Now THIS I'm especially proud of. It's a 2026 green plum brandy, aged about 400 years. Took me ages to find where I had buried it, your X-Ray glasses would have come in handy...

[Sir Barry]

Doc "What are you watching McFly?"

Marty "Um, no, Busted"

[Barely registers]

The p̶a̶s̶t̶ future is like a foreign country - they do things d̶i̶f̶f̶e̶r̶e̶n̶t̶l̶y̶ exactly the same there.

h/t Douglas Adams

[Ugotta B. Kiddingme]

Here, have some iCoffee. Your iBacon is almost ready.

[Cardinal]

Blind Drunk

And so, Marty began the blind eye/nose taste test to determine if humans can distinguish between a fresh Chain Coffee and a leper's urine sample - both providing the same level of temperature and lip froth.

[Cardinal]

No Dad, - I said I liked sports grounds!

[Zork-1]

VR Time

Oculus Rift SDK X found a new supporter - SeeThruTech's AR/VR program that removes (all) the clothes of the person you are aiming at ... and can change their sex too.

[User McUser]

Doc was right, this *is* great Scotch.

[Marcus Fil]

"Try it - its called Paradox Tea - its made with Polonium"

[Marcus Fil]

"And when you have finished all of 'Breaking Bad' there is 'Orange is the New Black' - you're going to need more coffee!"

[Quotes]

Blinded by Science

Marty watches as the drinking water at Hinkley self-heats his morning coffee

[Cardinal]

For God's sake Marty, stop that snivelling!

They told you! - It's only for five years, and then that squint of yours should be completely fixed.

[Quotes]

The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades

[AceRimmer]

Ewww

Is that a telescope in your pocket or are you watching pornhub at the breakfast table again?

[Toltec]

This augmented reality is freaky man, seeing dad as a hot babe is bad enough, I don't wanna say what I am holding.

[Andy 73]

You think this is weird? The Ghostbusters are all women!

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Sorry for the colour. The toaster got infected last week and I think it spread to the coffee maker.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Oh no, us Time Wombles hate to see old stuff thrown out. Take these "cups" for example. Found them in a milking parlour.

[Rich 2]

Stuff

i call this one the "Pepsi Challenge". All you have to do is correctly guess which sugar-laden drink will rot your teeth, make you fat, and promote diabetes and osteoporosis the fastest.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Do you like bisgetti?

[Jon Robinson]

Marty! you can take the glasses off now - the lunar eclipse was last month already!

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

So it's your birthday, eh? I'd sing you our special birthday song only now that we've lost the copyright on it, it's hardly "special" any more.

[Stepheng74]

Liquid cooled PC's are a lot easier to build in the future

[Stepheng74]

Lets just branch the Java to a 3rd party interface

[shoeshopboy]

Hey son, do I look stupid wearing this?

[Anonymous Coward]

Some wake up juice will get him off that bloody vr.

[Huw Barnes]

"...and so that concludes our Flux Capacitor Watch - will it blend test."

[Stepheng74]

Look, just give me something without any sugar in it, okay.

[swschrad]

I'm drinking ther piss out of this coffee today!

brown in the pot, yellow in the glass, you see

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

An awkward silence filled the air, but both men knew better than to fill it with observations about fashion sense. Not after what happened the last time.

[Jim O'Reilly]

Try this new Nescafe Pure - Everything is removed except the caffeine!

[DubiousMind]

The Cuckoo's Future Return

After all that time cooped up in the Cuckoo's Nest, Taber believed himself to be called Doc and his friend McMurphy, Marty. It was a strange future going on in his head; a future from which many believe he could never return!

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

"This Doc Brown"is a real two-tie fruity", thought Marty. "Wop bop a loo bop a lop bom boom!"

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

It was immediately obvious to Doc Brown that this visitor was no alien due to the keen interest he was taking in his digital watches.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Think, goddam you, Marty, think. You must remember what the winning caption contest entry was. Otherwise how are we gonna get that flux capacitor (watch)?

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Spengler: Don't cross the streams, Marty.

Marty: You mean like th-- KRRRZTHP!

Doc: Beetlejuice?

[Doctor Evil]

Nice tie, Dad!

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

<product-placement>If you're not drinking Folgers coffee, you're probably drinking yak piss</product-placement>

[Doctor Evil]

Have another coffee, son. Listen, there's something I want to talk to you about: first impressions. Has anyone ever discussed dressing for success with you?

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Reg Readers: amazingly primitive people who think that a digital watch as a prize is a pretty neat idea.

[Jon Robinson]

some of us have even watched all three films and can distinguish which character is which!

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Yes, it's a special blend I put together from Ethiopian coffee beans and willow bark. It's highly salicey, aye.

[Jon Robinson]

'Moonshine'?!

Marty was getting less and less certain about agreeing to blind taste test his dad's 'moonshine'

[EddieD]

As his glass filled, Marty sadly realised that google glass was no substitute for beer goggles.

[DropBear]

"...but never mind that. Listen, could you get me a few proper 100W lightbulbs...?"

[David 132]

"Marty tries out the Doc's Virtual Really Tea goggles"

Per subject!

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

"Doc, I'm putting the band back together"

"What, 'Enchantment under the sea?'. Good for you"

[Tony Addyman]

This special 2015 drinking water comes from a project funded by Bill Gates. Guess how they produced it

[ma1010]

Okay, if it's "Back to the Future" day-

Then just WHERE THE FUCK is my flying car???

Or my Mr. Fusion??

Or my hoverboard?

And why can't the Weather Service control the weather properly?

Sometimes the future just ain't what it's cracked up to be, I guess.

[branico]

"OK, Google. Search for the 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' Larry vs. me episode."

[xpatch]

This jacket blows

and so do the pants!

[Captain DaFt]

Try this, it's an interesting beverage.

It's almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea!

[Oengus]

Hey, I just got this new InstaBrew from Mr Fusion. It allows you to make any drink from garbage instantly.

Try this home made beer i just made.

[NeonTeepee]

No No Its not soylent its a lovely hot coffee with 2 sugars, yum yum.

[Winkypop]

So, tell me again about these talking apples...

[Evoflash]

If I just cross my eyes a bit, your tie becomes fully 3D!

[Anonymous Coward]

Where's my.....

Monkey Butler!!

[Marcus Fil]

"Doc must be going a bit deaf - I said I wanted to view the forest in three years time"

[S.M]

Drink my boiled piss you Gen-Y fuckwit.

[Snow Hill Island]

"No dad, I didn't mean you, I'm playing Grand Theft Auto today."

[Steve Kennedy]

maybe NSFW

Doc Brown's makeshift Parkinson's head band was maybe slightly intrusive

[SamJ]

Forget VR - this stuff is real!

[Bob Merkin]

"Son, I don't care if you post behind a pseudonym. Making fun of Parkinson's Disease still makes you an asshole."

[S.M]

I've superglued my knuckles to the table so I don't have to watch another rerun of The Man From Space when your grandpa arrives.

[S.M]

President Trump looks a lot like Biff Tannen don't you think junior?

[Darakna]

This is the reason why we can't have beautiful things....oh actually this is one of the reasons we have beautiful things in our life.

[Clouseau999]

The downside of X-ray goggles

Hey Dad, I know you have two watches and two ties, but that enhancement surgery you had last month isn't working out....

[Redda]

Additction to the new virtual reality coffee shops is leading to a lattee time keeping problems.

[Scotslass]

Hurry up I haven't got all day, I need to get back for a Pepsi

[bigsteve59]

Why, Mr Assange, these rose-tinted glasses really do work. The only leak around here is from that coffee pot!

[msknight]

I know I'm way too late...

... "The coffee has to be this weak by law. In my day it was so strong that we ended up growing two ties."

I think I'll start a fad of posting after closing, 'cause my humour is out of whack with the judges anyway!