Nippy, palaver and cockwomble: Greatest words in English?

It was decidedly nippy yesterday morning, and in remarking the fact to my pandiculating and yawning daughter, I was struck by the sheer magnificence of the word nippy when used to describe a crisp autumnal chill in the air. Given the biting cold, it was a right bloody palaver to scrape the frost off the van, and there's …

[msknight]

Obstropolous gets good usage where I currently work. Whether it is applied, to users, managers or other entities, I couldn't possibly comment.

[Message From A Self-Destructing Turnip]

Definition?

The actions of an Obstropolyp?

[Anonymous Coward]

I think the correct word is obstreperous

[Anonymous Coward]

I think the correct word is obstreperous

No, that's a different word, and you perhaps are being blinkered by the narrow scope of dictionaries. Obstropolous is a most marvellous new word that should be added to the OED forthwith.

However, this fine invention does not address the tragic shortage of good quality obscenities in English. The primary colours of obscenity are about seven core words, then extended with modifiers and combinations. The number one position is held by "fuck" a fine obscenity, and a short blunt word with a lovely mouth feel to it, even onomatopoeic when used as an adjective, but you very quickly run out of swear words after that. As any Two Pint Screamer demonstrates after they've had a few on Saturday night:

"Yer fuckin fook-headed fooker, yer spilt me fooking drink, fook yer, yer f-ffucking fookwit fooker!"

So, commentards, could we have some new swear words. Ideally not related to the existing rather small collection.

[Allan George Dyer]

Bovine excrement! There are plenty of excellent English obscenities, but a lack of erudite invective in teeming hostelries.

[hatti]

Re: Ointment

Where can I get one of these Gorm thingys?

[tony2heads]

@Hatti

Betake yourself to where the lummoxes aggroup.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: @Hatti

I quite like 'gormopath' as a dismissive term.

[Chris Miller]

Nippily [0]

I've got a 1933 edition of the OED. In it, words are sometimes marked [1], indicating that there was (at the time of compilation) only a single occurrence of their use in English. A few words are marked [0], meaning that no instance could be found of the word being used, but it had been included in earlier dictionaries. An example of such a [0] word was nippily; so up to about 1930, it had (so far as the OED could ascertain) never been used in English texts. Today it's common parlance, particularly by motoring correspondents describing a car's handling. English has many such words, lying dormant, waiting for their turn to shine.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: Nippily [0]

"English has many such words, lying dormant, waiting for their turn to shine."

,,,and are often in use in other dialects of English. American "english" still uses many quaint old words which we have since moved on from. I heard wainscotting the other day, a word I suspect has not been used in England for many a year but certainly has a bit more gravitas than skirting board!

[Michael Wojcik]

Re: Nippily [0]

I heard wainscotting the other day, a word I suspect has not been used in England for many a year

But wainscoting¹ figures so prominently in the Monty Python sheep sketch! Admittedly that was some 45 years back, so I suppose that qualifies as "many a year". Still, kids these days &c.

Also, of course, the word "wainscoting" is invaluable in discussions of philosophical realism, as it figures in one of the most commonly used examples.

¹The single-T spelling appears to be preferred by dictionary authors. Google Ngram Viewer suggests it's been the more common one since about 1825.

[MrDamage]

Re: Nippily [0]

Nippily gets used quite often here in Australia.

Mostly used to describe a sudden weather change which causes the front of tight-fitting womens shirts to garner a lot more attention than normal.

[stucs201]

Best cockwomble definition I've seen

"Someone who aspires to be intelegent enough to be a fuckwit"

[sabroni]

Re: Best cockwomble definition I've seen

Surely it's just a boy womble, the female version being a henwomble.

[TeeCee]

Re: Best cockwomble definition I've seen

....or a cuntwomble......depending on which derivation of the masculine version you went for.

[Jan 0]

Re: Best cockwomble definition I've seen

> "cuntwomble"

But that would be a deliciously, delightful, enticing, exciting womble!

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Best cockwomble definition I've seen

But that would be a deliciously, delightful, enticing, exciting womble!

Your fantasies are obviously very different to mine.

[Measurer]

Re: Best cockwomble definition I've seen

Everyone knows that the opposite of a womble is a flump, therefore...

Pussyflump

[wolfetone]

I know it's not a word, more of a phrase, but "fuckity bye" is probably my favourite at the moment.

God bless you Malcolm Tucker.

[I ain't Spartacus]

I rather like clusterfuck - as sometimes you need a bit of extra emphasis when describing a totally messed up situation. For example, I can find no other way to describe the ongoing disaster that is the Eurozone - where the predicted future problelms have now come to pass, but the political will to centralise that was supposed to solve them has gone away.

Even better, when in fear of filters, or while being polite, you get to use the excellent bowdlerisation: Fustercluck.

Which still manages to convey confusion, but with the added suggestion of headless chickens.

[wolfetone]

I think a phrase exists for the Eurozone

"From bean to cup, you fuck up"

[Gordon 10]

Our American cousins on occasion come up with some classics. My favourite is Asshat.

[Blank-Reg]

Rumpus has been a favourite of mine. As in causing a rumpus, or scene.

I applaud this article and champion the full use of the English language lexicon. Too often, I am ridiculed for usage of fine, if little used, word even though the usage is correct. What is so wrong in using our beautiful language to its full extent.

Though, privately, I would love to see the return of the Aesc; æ. For use in words such as Dæmons, Archæology, Mediæval, fæces and so on.

[dogged]

Surely "rumpus" is - like "tot" - only used by provincial newspaper headline writers?

[chivo243]

I've heard rumpus used in conjunction with room... a room where you do the wild thing, the nasty, the horizontal bop, make the beast with two backs, get your freak on, score and find a happy ending.

Let's have a pint!

[I ain't Spartacus]

On which subject, I rather like the sound of the word (phrase?) rumpy-pumpy.

You can roll the initial R, and then it sort of bounces along. So does one retire to ones rumpus room in order romp and generally engage in rumpy-pumpy?

[DiViDeD]

Ye Olde Rumpus Room

Pretty much every Australian house is advertised as having a rumpus room. Now I know why they're so popular!

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Ye Olde Rumpus Room

Pretty much every Australian house is advertised as having a rumpus room. Now I know why they're so popular!

I live in Australia and yes I do have a rumpus room in my house. Its main purpose is as a play-room for the kids, and that is the usual meaning down under. However I do confess that the missus and I have indeed been known to partake in some intimate shenanigans in that room (after the kids were safely in bed asleep, of course).

[John Presland]

Rumpety-pumpety.

[Captain Hogwash]

So that's what Ned Flanders was talking about. Thanks for clearing it up.

[Zog_but_not_the_first]

Courtesy of Mr Turner

"Brook your ire Sir" is a great alternative to "calm down, calm down".

[Fibbles]

Re: Courtesy of Mr Turner

Doesn't sound as funny in a Scouse accent though.

[AndrewInIreland]

Spanish...

perroflauta is just brilliant. I used it correctly in Malaga last August, much to the delight of my Spanish friends.

[dogged]

Re: Spanish...

So it's crusty as in "trustafarian" or "chugger", not crusty as in "bread", then.

[Anonymous Coward]

Nippy is good...

...but nipcheese is better. A nickname for a ship’s purser.

[Anonymous Coward]

If you have to talk about Blaine...

Marcus Brigstocke summed up his New York stunt where he spent a week underwater as "Amphibious gitwizard doesn't drown."

[nsld]

Re: If you have to talk about Blaine...

And not forgetting the one he did at Tower Bridge with the epithet "twatdangle"

[Your alien overlord - fear me]

This sense of "conversation" has pretty well been lost, and now we're left with palaver meaning a complete carry-on.

Never had a conversation with a Portugese person then? Palaver sums it up pretty well. (And yes, there's a lot of them where I live)

[Uncle Slacky]

Obligatory Simpsons reference

What, no mention of "cromulent", "embiggen" or "kwijybo" yet?

[chivo243]

Re: Obligatory Simpsons reference

gotta love that bald north american ape... kwijybo wasn't that a triple word score?

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: Obligatory Simpsons reference

...or fantastical as in "flying truss"....or podule!!

[chivo243]

Reused word

I really like the re-appropriation of the word "tool"

[Phil O'Sophical]

On a topical note I'm quite fond of Autumnal, not a rare or seldom heard word, but it's one of those words that sounds as pleasing as the season it describes.

I also like the pure illogicality of English. When the prefix 'in' usually means 'not', why does flammable mean the same as inflammable? Any why is discontent harboured in a hotbed, when a hot bed usually gives me quite the reverse sensation?

[Doctor Syntax]

"Any why is discontent harboured in a hotbed"

That one's easy. Hotbed is a gardening term. It describes an arrangement for enabling things to grow more vigorously than they might do otherwise. Some managements are quite good at achieving this with discontent.

[Alfie]

RE: Autumnal

I also like the word autumnal, but have taken to using the word autumny instead, mostly to wind up my english teaching better half. Inspired by Baldrick's interpretation of irony; "Like goldy and silvery, only made of iron."

Actually the whole Blackadder the Third episode Ink and Incapability is a joy.

[Anonymous Coward]

While discussing Nippy, might I suggest Mammilate

ie. possessing nipples

[Neil Barnes]

Re: While discussing Nippy, might I suggest Mammilate

IT is surely better to mammilate than never.

[TheProf]

Cockwomble!

Thank you for that. I've often wondered what to call those 'gentlemen', usually wearing grey sporting trousers, who seems to be looking for spare change in their crotch region.

And people wonder why I'm reluctant to shake hands.

[astrax]

I like the word...

...obfuscate, because it does exactly what it says on the tin.

[Peter Prof Fox]

New words

Discomodicated [confused]

Socmed salute [phones held up in a crowd watching something]

Durbrain [of people who can't believe that 'Gullible' never appears in a dictionary] (There are more than you think!)

Perculious [oddity that invites investigation]

[Measurer]

Here's one

Flaphammock was invented by a friend of mine years ago, upon me finding a pair of ladies undies in the corner of his lounge.

[Anomalous Cowturd]

Flaphammock wins my vote!

Marvellous.

I'm stealing ^W borrowing that one.

[Measurer]

Re: Flaphammock wins my vote!

and of course Flangebasket, or Gunt.

[Anonymous Coward]

"Discombobulation".

Because it's nice to say and it's not actually a made-up word even though it sounds like one.

[Quortney Fortensplibe]

Or alternatively...

Just pick your favourites out from here: http://viz.co.uk/category/rogers-profanisaurus

I was quite proud of one I coined a while back, when I had a manager at work who somehow managed to irritate the hell out of everybody, despite never saying anything untoward or unfair. I described him as "Offensively Inoffensive"

[stucs201]

More words

Defenestration

Transmogrification

[g e]

Re: More words

Gesticulation / Gesticulate

[Grumpy Developer]

Re: More words

Testiculate - to talk bollocks whilst flailing one's arms.

[Measurer]

Re: More words

Let me guess..

Defenestration = Army lumberjacks?

Transmogrification = Making a cat happier through dubious means?

[Commswonk]

As nobody has mentioned this...

I will. See

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOSYiT2iG08

[Quortney Fortensplibe]

More from him...

I doubt any insult in the English language tops Cockwomble. Pure genius! Nob Jockey has a similar ring to it. Though probably a bit too homophobic for these PC times.

One understated and innocuous enough sounding phrase in English I really like is one which manages to express "What a hard day's work that was. It looked for a while like we were never going to get it finished. But we stuck at it and saw it through to the end. And now that we have done so, I think we all deserve a pint".

Namely: "Job's a good 'un!"

[Needs to be said in a broad Lancashire or Yorkshire accent, though]

[A K Stiles]

Re: More from him...

If you head further south to Somerset and beyond I believe they pronounce it "Proper Job!"

[A K Stiles]

Re: More from him...

Oh yes it's a tasty brew.

And whilst it may not be the greatest beer in the world, I also like their 'Tribute'

[Vic]

Re: More from him...

Indeed, it's a great beer too!

https://www.staustellbrewery.co.uk/proper-job

They've gor a new one called Big Job. A fair bit hoppier, and quite a bit stronger to boot.

I'm currently enjoying one :-)

Vic.

[Elmer Phud]

Re: More from him...

Namely: "Job's a good 'un!"

That's a bit long winded.

Sorted/Sortid will do me (clapping of hands together is optional)

[smartypants]

Spoon

So simple and everyday, yet strangely funny once you listen to yourself saying it a few times. That initial rasp, the tiny explosive p, and the long sultry oo finished off with a creamy n.

(I'm strangely aroused now. Must get back to work)

[I ain't Spartacus]

Re: Spoon

Lots of words are like that. So Rowan Atkinson can do wonders with the single syllable that is "Bob".

Our family used to foster a girl with autism, and she liked to use words just for the sound of them. It's something lots of children do, but she did it with more dedication.

The absolute relish with which she pronounced the final "t" in toast was a thing to behold. She also loved to draw out over-enunciate "basically" and "absolutely" (back to the lovely oooh sound there).

And then the aggressive "K" sound in buckets and baskets - so she had a little speech in the same way Dustin Hoffman did in Rain Man with "whose on first" - except in her case it wasn't when she was nervous, but when angry or upset.

[Mystic Megabyte]

Re: Spoon

A friend's three year old had picked up on, "Have you got your rucksack?". When it became time to go to the beach she said, "Let's ruck off!" :)

[TeeCee]

Re: Spoon

http://xkcd.com/1046/

[hoss183]

cockwomble

I've always assumed that 'Cockwomble' had some reference to Cottaging, since the said wombles spent most of their time in the bushes of Wimbledon common, picking up whatever they could find. A cockwomble then would concentrate on other items than rubbish...

[Flenser]

Re: cockwomble

Agreed.

I was about to post the same but was thwarted by a password reset palaver.

[Anonymous Coward]

My fave

possibly of Merkin, army, origin:

clusterfuck

[Mark 85]

Re: My fave

I believe it comes from there... and worst job to have in the middle of a clusterfuck is "pivot man".

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: My fave

Yes, that is from Army slang. Somewhat akin to Pivot Man in a Clusterf@ck is Your Turn In The Barrel whose origin is British Navy and both have a similar meaning.

[PatientOne]

Hmmm...

Practicable (that which can be done)

Fibrillation (uncontrolled twitching of muscles - confuses people who think this (just) means a heart attack)

Mendacity (basically, lying)

Mellifuous (soothing sound)

There's more, but I really need to get back into checking 'word of the day' for those. The above are ones I had to explain recently in conversation.

[dajames]

Typo?

Mellifuous (soothing sound)

Do you mean "mellifluous" (with another 'l') which actually means "flowing like honey" -- but what could be more soothing than that, sweet and unctuous as it is?

"Unctuous" is another good word. It is generally used to mean "greasy", but it really means "ointment-like" (something that can be used to anoint).

[phuzz]

Insults

I'm quite fond of the insult "They're a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic", meaning that the person in question is a bit barmy.

However the best part is taking the basic structure of "A couple of X short of Y" and moving to a different scenario, for example:

"A couple of CAT5 short of a network"

"A Couple of disks short of a RAID"

"A couple of bits short of a byte"

(feel free to add your own.)

I like the fact that it's usually "a couple" short. Not one, not lots, but a couple.

[Anomalous Cowturd]

Re: Insults

Once worked on a site that had a labourer dubbed "two sticks" short of a bundle.

Lovely bloke, but thick as pig-shit.

I can't even remember his real name, but his nickname always tickled me.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Insults

This one is job and class specific as in:

"A few slices short of a cucumber sandwich"

[Uncle Slacky]

Re: Insults

Also "X is completely Dagenham" (as in, a couple of stops past Barking).

[Roger Varley]

Re: Insults

I remember that one as - "a couple of stops short of Dagenham".

[Mystic Megabyte]

Re: Insults

The best mental image that I heard was in Australia where they say, " He's got Kangaroos in his top paddock".

[Anonymous Coward]

How timeous

I was thinking of this just yesterday and noticed a pattern that Lester has too; how many of his favourite words contain the letter u in an uh or ur sound. Is u intrinsically funny (there it goes again...) or enjoyable where other vowels aren't?

[BenBell]

Cockwomble

..has just become my new favourite word. How have I not heard this before?

[Roger Kynaston]

toing the line

Being of a yottie (I have always liked the reverse snobbery of that word btw) persuasion I am always fascinated by how much of our vocabulary has a seafaring origin - Noting that palaver was imported by jolly jack tars from Portugal - presumably after imbibing quantities of the fortified wine from Portugal's second city.

[Santa from Exeter]

Poltroon

No, I'm not describing Lester, merely offering the utterance up for public perusal

[Michael H.F. Wilkinson]

Wainscotting

Which does sound like a village in Dorset

I also rather like Terry Pratchett's use of the word "preventative" for a condom. So much better than "preservative" (which I still don't get)

[Naughtyhorse]

Re: Wainscotting

On the subject of pratchett....

Known as he was for borrowing interesting words from maps and such, may I present "The Dictionary of Eye-Watering Words"

giving us Gaskin, Figgin, Welchett and Moules.

almost certainly real words for something, but I am but a knowless man...

[tiggity]

Re: Wainscotting

Seem to recall they were called "galoshes" in Russia when I visited many years ago, which I thought was a good name in so many ways

[Allan George Dyer]

Re: Wainscotting

"preservative" because they were used to keep safe from STDs, particularly syphilis.

[tony2heads]

Of nelogisms

Omnishambles

It is so useful in everyday life

[stucs201]

Re: Of nelogisms

But not as good as it's less polite equivalent which was mentioned earlier: clusterfuck.

[BlartVersenwaldIII]

Cockwomble is naturally near impossible to top, but here's some of my favourite loquacious terms for your delectation:

fugacious

insouciance

serendipitous

obstreperous

pleonasm

zugzwang

pulchritudinous

valetudinarian

ululate

porphyrophobia

pusillanimous

inglenook

efflorescence

propinquity

supercilious

Such things are always best in combinations though. For instance, one might refer to Satya Nadella as a circumlocutively supercilious and unprincipled cockwomble with an obstreperous disregard for philosophical incongruity.

[Tony S]

My favourite word:

Feculent

As in "Get out of that feculent pit you lazy ..."

[Richard 126]

My personal favourites

Alexed (FUBAR)

e.g. The job is well and truly Alexed.

Merriman metal (metal of unknown quality, inappropriate for the job on hand)

e.g. Having machined one end of this bit of Merriman metal I find the other end is unmachineable.

Origin North Derbyshire, usage, occasionally heard in Rotherham, Sheffield area of the UK, not known to be used elsewhere.

[Sir Runcible Spoon]

Sir

First 'favourite' word to spring to mind was

hullabaloo

but the way it should be said is important too..say the first part quickly and then exend the oo into a playful howl and then repeat quickly.

And since I live near Essex there is the ubiquitous "Fackmeeeeeee!"

[Dan Paul]

Re: It's the weekend...

Or perhaps "Craptacular"

[Marcus Fil]

From Aunty Beeb

..or at least I first heard it on BBC premises:

Omniquench

describing the unidentifiable warm liquid dispensed from the hot drinks machines where selecting tea or coffee made little difference to what was served.

[Uncle Slacky]

Re: From Aunty Beeb

Maybe that's where Douglas Adams got his "almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea" from?

[Measurer]

Re: From Aunty Beeb

Would Uniquench be better?

Anyway although its another compound word, 'FLANGEBASKET'!

[Anonymous Coward]

Of course, the best...

...is to call your boss a "berk" (or "burk"). Pretty innocent unless you know it is Cockney rhyming slang - "Berkeley Hunt..." . Another good Cockney slang thing is "aris" == "arse". Aristole == bottle; bottle & glass == arse.

[Flenser]

Re: Of course, the best...

Berk has been my insult of choice for many years now.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Of course, the best...

...or the variation on a theme...Twunt. A portmanteau of twat and cunt; but missed by most swear filters.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Of course, the best...

"Twat" here in Pompey just means an idiot - vintage from the 70's from what I can recall. It didn't go down too well when I was in Montreal during an IT summit once though... I had to explain to my BIG boss what a twat was...

[TeeCee]

Re: Of course, the best...

I still rate septic for Americans, as it really sums up our end of the "special relationship".

"Septic tank"=...

[Zen 1]

Peradventure

A wonderful but neglected word, albeit simply an archaic way of saying perhaps.

[Paul Smith]

Bollard

My personal favourite is bollard. It just sounds so... right.

[chivo243]

One last one

One from the king "flibberty jib"

[Anonymous Coward]

Numbnuts

That is all.

[Anonymous Coward]

Altenatives to cockwomble:

Tosspot

Bell-end

Fuckstick

...there's loads of them; but I think you really need a live exchange and beer to produce decent new ones.

[circusmole]

I quite like...

Toe-rag - a completely useless and ignorant b'stard.

From my days as a assembly language coder:

No-Op - as in the computer instruction common to most architectures (NOP - no operation), meaning a person who has no discernible purpose or function in an organisation, or indeed in life, and never does anything detectable, good, bad or indifferent. Oh, except draw a salary.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I quite like...

Toe rag....toe rags were an actual thing...they were rags wrapped around the feet and toes in lieu of socks, so you might want to recalibrate your definition a little, as they were definitely useful; but not something you'd necessarily want to be close to. They were used by vagrants and other people who couldn't afford socks and were eventually associated with them:

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=define+toe+rag&ia=definition

If you're up for a thoroughly depressing read; George Orwell's Down and out in Paris and London contains a description of toe rags in use...they were apparently invaluable at the time because standard practice for vagrants was to keep them moving; and without toe rags, you'd blister up; would be unable to keep moving as fast as the NIMBYs would like; and would then be arrested.

Just thought I'd bore everyone with that.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

the "galactically-talented" mr. Blaine?

You mean that he can produce milk? Who'd want to pay to see that?

(ah, I get it... he's a tit)

[Anonymous Coward]

Did I miss it...

Or has nobody mention "clunge" yet?

Also, "intertwangled" (as espoused by Eddie Mair on PM recently) is currently one of my favourite words.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

neologism

I find that a dash of "Jeeves" adds a lot of depth of flavour to most meat dishes. (hint: basic Cockney rhyming slang construction).

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

"obstreperous" reminds me

of the time I described my niece and nephew as being very "rambunctious" to their grandparents. To my surprise, they'd never heard of the word and thought I was making it up.

[Tufty Squirrel]

Shitbiscuits

is a favourite of mine

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

big words not always better

I've yet to meet a woman who responded favourably to my complimenting them on how pulchritudinous they are. Or toothsome, for that matter.

Since I don't want to keep making single posts as I remember more words: segue (completely baffled me that it was actually pronounced "segway"). Also syzygy and synecdoche (another weird pronunciation). Also "weird" since it "proves" the "i" before "e" (except after "c") rule.

"Dolt" is a bit old-fangled, but good.You can also get away with calling people "obdurate" most of the time since it's a bit gnomic for most, while for others in the know it can become a bit of a shibboleth. Speaking of gnomey-things, digital watches and, later, mobile phones have completely replaced gnomons, except maybe when calculating squares. It's funny how some Hiberno-English phrases like eejit, shite and gobshite (and the Cork phrase "langer") can be used when the English words would be unacceptable. I never got how describing some people as "muppets" got to be so offensive, though.

If someone asks me something like "did I hear the front door?" or similar, I'm always tempted to explain Joyce's "ineluctable modality of the *aural" to them.

Also, of course, numberwang, scorchio! and Chris Waddle.

[disgruntled yank]

Re: big words not always better

sad to say, Ulysses is not one of the books lying about the office, but wasn't it "of the visual"? (Namely "diaphane and adiaphane"?)

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Re: big words not always better

but wasn't it "of the visual"?

I think so. That's why I put a * in front of "aural" (to point out my misquote/mistake). Works with all the senses.

(Actually, just checked and it's "visible", so I should really have said "audible")

[Someone_Somewhere]

Wonkeloid

Adj.: unstable

Whence, I dare postulate, derives the word 'wonky.'

[Someone_Somewhere]

Proggler

n.; an object put to use as a tool with which to poke, pack or otherwise push down something into a container. Usually takes the form of a match-stick, cocktail-stick, tooth-pick or similar but need not be limited to such either in form or dimensions. Synonyms: pointy-stick, pokey-stick, proddy-stick.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Proggler

I thought that was a dibber, or is that just for gardening?

[Someone_Somewhere]

Re: Proggler

Are you thinking of a sausage inna bun spit?

[Amorous Cowherder]

Nothing beats the mighty "bellend" as the all time greatest insult!

He he!

[Fraggle850]

Re: Nothing beats the mighty "bellend" as the all time greatest insult!

Bell End

https://goo.gl/maps/UYrRP94UKN62

[Mystic Megabyte]

My turn, top tip:

To start with I recommend reading "The poor mouth" by Flan O'Brien. It's very funny. Being written in the Gaelic you have to refer to the footnotes for various translations. In the book the children have to speak English but they only know how to say their name. When asked they all say, "James O'Donnell, Sor". What the teacher does not know is that Sor is "louse" in Gaelic. I have used this "mispronunciation" when dealing with obnoxious officials.

Also why can you be disgruntled but not overgruntled?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flan_O'Brien

[disgruntled yank]

Re: My turn, top tip:

Isn't it the man with the big stick who says "Yer name is Jams O'Donnell?"

[Quortney Fortensplibe]

Re: My turn, top tip:

Bootssor!

[TeeCee]

Ah well, I know what I'm doing for the next few minutes. Reading Roger's Profanisaurus until I can't see through the tears and everyone within earshot thinks I've gone stark, staring bonkers......again......

[Anonymous Coward]

Performant

As in, does it perform as well as it needs to. Looks like a proper word, it's meaning is self evident , but it does not exist in the dictionary.

[Identity]

Palaver

Here in the US of A, palaver still means talk — a confab, if you will. (A typically American diminution of confabulation.) It is usually used about trying to reach agreement or sometimes as empty talk.

[dajames]

Gobwarbler

Gobwarbler (n) One who seems to take delight in the sound of his or her own voice.

[Measurer]

It's not very nice, but

I can't claim credit for this one, that honour lies with a certain landlord of westcountry pubs I know (and rugby player), but I cannot but bow to the incredible talent which invented...

'GUNT'

To describe those ladies, who for whatever reason, have blurred the physical boundary between their tummies and what lies beneath, into one amorphous blob.

The brevity and yet extreme adjectivity(?) of this four letter word has left many a seasoned drinker, rugby player, bon viveur etc. stunned by its elegance. Hats off to you Mr G.

Was gonna call my band 'bollard' years ago. Nice word.

[WereWoof]

Old but good.

One word I only heard once (used by maternal grandmother to describe a girl she knew) and saw in print a few times that I took a shine to is "Flibbertigibbet", It just rolls off the tongue marvellously!

[Martin Budden]

Plinth

I just like the sound of it, that's all.

[MrDamage]

Swampdonkey

A nice word to use towards the type of people Viz readers would recognise as a Fat Slag.

Twatwrangler: Alternate name for the Speaker in parliament

[allthecoolshortnamesweretaken]

Book tip: The Meaning of Liff, by John Lloyd & Douglas Adams