WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

The witticisms keep flooding in for our biblical-looking chap, who provided "divine" inspiration for a great collection of captions from readers. All the entries were given a chance at winning the Western Digital Black 6TB hard drive that’s up for grabs. There were quite a few regular contributors in the top 10. Here is the …

[Omniaural]

So this is virtual reality eh, son? It's got nothing on a viewmaster!

[WalterAlter]

The Laptop Jesus captions

were uniformly lame. Who picks the top 10? Are you guys all right wingers?

[Omniaural]

The technology advances of Virtual reality were nothing compared to the NSA's giant surveillance ear.

[Neil Charles]

Jesus, have you tried taking it off? Everything's in 3D.

[hplasm]

Oculus Rift-

For when you can't see the wood for the trees.

[Dick Emery]

Re: Oculus Rift-

I was gonna use that one!

[knightred]

Re: Oculus Rift-

I was too haha. I am always amused by turning the classic quotes... especially with the innuendo applicable.

[Anonymous Coward]

This forest looks really realistic.

[danielm]

Duuuude... I've taken the glasses off and the trees still have ears!

[PK]

Apple to take on Google Glass - now a rectangle with rounded corners.

[ZSn]

where?

Hang on, where did that groinal attachment go?

[Bill Fresher]

Kid on the left: "And when I move it closer to the camera?"

[lawndart]

And here we are, just outside Victoria Station.

[choleric]

In virtual reality

even the trees have ears.

[mark 120]

As they removed the goggles and turned around, it became clear that technology really had reached the final front ear.

[Anonymous Coward]

Right son, let's see if we can spot which tree big ears is hiding behind with these tree penetrating radar goggles.

[Slacker@work]

The kid has spent hours cyber-flirting with the stunning 20something cheerleader stood to his left.... but then he removed his headset...

[RockBurner]

Oculus

takes Virtual Larping to an 'ole new level

[Bill Fresher]

Amstrad Glass is going to be awesome, thought Alan Sugar.

[LegalAlien]

Dad, I prefer to see mum without the x-ray-vision app!

[John Robson]

Careful

Even the trees have ears in VR

[ingie]

35%

... the number of people who had to go back after thinking

"Shit? there's an ear in the picture?"

[ that's not meant as a competition entry, just as a Mock The Week style Q/A :) ]

[td0s]

Hea(r)ling the rift

between the generations

[Bigpatc]

Oculus Rift

Now your vacation videos can be boring in 3D!

[Bigpatc]

Oculus Pr0n

Where even the wood is in 3D.

[lawndart]

The SPB found even the FAA couldn't thwart a virtual LOHAN launch.

[lawndart]

Hang on a minute - I think mine's still set to "Noddy Detector"

[Ken Rennoldson]

You mean Jeremy Corbyn really is Labour leader?

[AlgernonFlowers4]

What did you pull the plug for? I was just about to collect my EuroMillions £100 million lottery win!

[Julian 8]

Is this the real life ?

is this fantasy ?

for a quick answer

look for the ear growing out of a tree

[lawndart]

VR makes these woods seem positively eerie.

[AlgernonFlowers4]

What do you mean I haven't really won the Register caption competition?

[MrJealousy]

Ear

There seems to be a graphical glitch on this tree over ear.

[MrJealousy]

guy on the left "Oh, I thought you were shorter... and female."

[MrJealousy]

Oculus. Condoms for eyes. Protecting your vision for the future fetishist.

[jonathan keith]

Babbage's Spot The Difference Engine came with a few undocumented features.

[Bob Starling]

Are you sure Wally's in here

[Chronos]

If there's an NSA ear in the woods and there's nobody around worth listening to, the other four eyes probably won't find anything either.

[Anonymous Coward]

New VR tech allows you to experience a forest from the comfort of your very own forest

[Anonymous Custard]

Quick, call China - they've set this Robin Hood VR in Earwood Forest!

[Caff]

sasquatch

Sasquatch then decided to leave the strange goggled creatures alone in their make believe land.

[toughluck]

Sigh. Well, the e-mail said it's only virtually guaranteed to get bigger.

[Ken Rennoldson]

Peeple can't slag you off in VR son.

[Anonymous Custard]

Can't see the wood for the ears

[Anonymous Custard]

When I said I wanted the Halloween VR to be eerie, this isn't quite what I meant...

[Brian T]

Damn! it looked bigger with the headset..

[demat]

Look! I think its a Wheatear!

[Anonymous Coward]

Right that it's I'm out, This virtual reality reality tv is just one step too far.

[Omniaural]

That moment when you look at every photo you've ever taken...and THE EAR WAS ALWAYS THERE!

[Anonymous Custard]

Some bastard sabotaged the "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" simulation

[Big_Boomer]

Said in Homer Simpsons voice

MMMmmmmmmmm, 3D tits!

[Karl Dane]

Ear's looking at you, kid.

[Anonymous Custard]

Mr Potato Head - the wilderness (y)ears

[retro41]

I give up! I can't find Prince Charles anywhere!

[Anonymous Coward]

So this is Boris' plan to solve the London housing crisis?

[MrJealousy]

DOS commands are tricky in VR...

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Well that's one way to completely miss the most spectacular specimen of Auricularia auricula-judae ever!

[DarkLordofSurrey]

VR, better than reality.. No ears growing on trees..

[chivo243]

Virtual?

Um, dad, it's still there... I took off the glasses, there's still an ear down there, and I can hear with it!

[Daniel Hill]

"I tell ya son, this VR stuff is just a fad. Ear today and gone tomorrow!"

"Dad, when mum said we should go play a game outside, I don't think this is quite what she meant"

[Spudley]

It's VR inception. Multiple layers. The only way you can tell you're still in a dream is by checking your wrist: if you're wearing a wristband, then it's a dream. Oh, and the ears growing out of trees kinda gives it away too.

[MrJealousy]

Old Guy "In my day you had to boot from floppy..."

Kid "Oh god, not the story about your floppy diks again!"

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

After failing to secure rights to "The Hills Have Eyes", Oculus Rift brings out "Trees Have Ears" VR game.

[Anonymous Coward]

SO, if I put it on the other way up - I get to see a VR of Australia??

[Anonymous Coward]

I have already spotted Big Ears, but where is Noddy??

[Bigpatc]

Oculus Pr0N

Look son, even the boobies are bigger in VR.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

While most agreed that Occulus Rift's choice of venue for this year's annual outing was pretty dumb, at least there were fewer fatalities compared to last year's trip to the Grand Canyon.

[Anonymous Custard]

The VR version of The Eerie Forest lost something in translation

[Anonymous Custard]

Occulus's next generation idea - V Ear

[Anonymous Custard]

VR is so yesterday - the big thing now is V Ear

[Anonymous Custard]

The new Occulus Rift 2.0 - brought to you by Q-Tip

[TitterYeNot]

"You know what," thought Junior grumpily as he was dragged reluctantly around the exhibition, "even with VR, surrealist modern art is still crap. And I swear, if Dad calls it the ocular crevice one more time...."

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Using VR gear in a completely inappropriate environment? A giant unexplained ear? Some sort of butterfly creature attached to one guy? Nah, I got nothing.

[Marcus Fil]

The virtual environment was perfect, but meanwhile reality had suffered auditory glitch in object inheritance.

[Anonymous Custard]

Occulus Rift - The Wilderness Ears

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

If a tree falls in the forest, would it hit these guys? I sure hope so.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Virtual Reality---The final front ear? Discuss.

[JerseyDaveC]

Hmmm ... it looked a lot bigger in virtual reality.

[hocus]

Calling Helpdesk

Hello Oculus Helpdesk,

This thing is showing me ears on trees.. can I reboot this to fix it ?

[Peter G Green]

Wow, this VR is great, but why the hell does that tree have an ear!!!

[VinceH]

Um, dad? Are virtual reality worlds supposed to be recursive?

[badstrawberry]

For when there are only dogs at the dogging area.

[Pavanaja]

Looking for virtual gyan

[proinnsias]

Prince?

Prince Charles hides in attempt to ambush annoying VR gamer types

[Hoddy]

Noddy

Police employ new enhanced reality goggles in hunt for the fiend who abused Noddy.

[Dr Legs]

Guy on right- "Great hardware!"

Guy on left- "I think my groin attachment has a software problem."

[Soruk]

eXistenZ - beta edition. Even when you remove the kit you're still in the virtual world.

[stucs201]

Dammit, I came here to say it wasn't an ear but was the weird looking VR console from Existenz. Beaten by mere seconds.

[sdo]

Don't fancy the look of yours much!

[Spudley]

There are some nasty bugs around here. Look at the size of that earwig.

[MAF]

Tech doesn't improve EVERYTHING...

Adding a 4K screen to the "What the butler saw" machine still inevitably led to disappointment...

[Spudley]

And if you look to your right, you'll see a fine example of the rare Van Gogh fungus.

No, I said look to your right, not down.

[Queeg]

So that Bear over there taking a dump looks so detailed.

This VR stuff is really goo.........aaaAAAaRRRGHHHHHH

[John Stoffel]

Umm Dad.... why is a cougar nibbling on me leg?

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Umm Dad.... why is a cougar nibbling on me leg?

Your mother?

[g00se]

Mum told us to go and do something healthy outdoors. Good thing she's not listening...

[Kit-Fox]

'Well that was an interesting trip, I was blue all over & had this weird hair that everyone kept trying to touch & just what were those animals trying to do to my ponytail??'

[John Stoffel]

Dammit Wesley, I still can't find that Ferengi on the holodeck! These disguises are useless. Get me my phaser.

[Anonymous Coward]

(speccy kid, thinking) You penis isn't as big as you saw in VR.

[Eddy Ito]

I have to say your "Inside the Painting" VR software is great but I noticed a glitch in the "Trees and Undergrowth" series by van Gogh we need to talk about.

[Daniel Hall]

James and Brian testing the new VDA (Virtual David Attenborough) equipment surprised by full screen ads.

[GitMeMyShootinIrons]

Son, you do know we don't need these to see what bears do in these woods...?

[Brent Longborough]

Wood? What wood? All I can see is trees!

[quattroprorocked]

Judging by the shit I just stepped in, that bear may not be virtual.

[elnatho]

You just stole my idea! .. before I could even post it...

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

After passing through the Uncanny Valley, users face the Eerie Forest.

[Someone Else]

This is your willy. This is you willy on Viagra. Any questions?

[Bigpatc]

Virtual Ears...

If a tree falls in the forest and crushes some dudes in VR goggles, does the giant disembodied ear still hear it?

[KnightGarion]

Google CEO takes son on first hunting trip... Son gets shot in foot.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

God, look at those silly humans. They think they're so clever and "with it". Don't they know that us Fungi invented virtual reality millions of years ago?

[KnightGarion]

Ashley Madison Fembots intrude on next gen government field trials.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caption the photo?

No escape from earality.

[KnightGarion]

Oculus presents "Where's Waldo V3.0"

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Sorry, just got to take a break for a mo. Feeling nauseous :(

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Taking off the peril sensitive goggles so close to the lair of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal will turn out to be a fatal mistake for one of our protagonists.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Remember, Grasshopper, all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Chuang Chou could not say whether he was a man dreaming of being a butterfly, or a butterfly caught up in some seriously weird shit.

[Timothy Slade]

When do we start floating?

[MrJealousy]

Bored

Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Oh, a tree with an ear! Bored. Bored. Bored...

[Want2Know]

How big can I get that millipede in his viewer?

[Robot W]

Computer scientists get close to solving the question: "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

[elnatho]

Yep... that bear poop I just stepped in was real.

[Anonymous Coward]

Yep, it's definitely a bug; the puddle of earwax we're standing in isn't visible through the headsets.

[Joe User]

From virtual reality to actual reality, after stepping in dog poo....

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

The jungle---where men are real men and do manly stuff like ... Wait, what the hell are those two doing?!

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Dad... I, um, have something to tell you. I'd, eh, really rather have the smart bra from two weeks ago.

[iMap]

I did see an Ewok but, wood you listen?

[The Dude]

Quiet son... even the trees have ears.

[The Dude]

Taking nature hikes to a whole new level.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Oculus Rift meets Auricular Graft

[iMap]

News Flash...

and the search for the missing laboratory mouse with the human ear on it's back continues.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Dad? Are you sure Rodents of Unusual Size aren't real?

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

See, son, it's just as good as the real Disneyland and a fraction of the cost! Son? Son?

[Tim Brown 1]

Virtual Reality doesn't make any difference. No matter how much you shake and dance, the last three drops go down your pants.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Ironically, the two were playing "The Last of Us" when the Cordyceps attacked.

[iMap]

From the film The Matrix Treeloaded

Agent: 'Mr Anderson, I see you opted for the blue pill'

Neo: 'yes, and I'm out of ear..'

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

I don't get this article. Where's the technology angle?

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Bear with it just a little bit longer, son---we're about to meet the Pope!

[mrmond]

If a trees cut down in a virtual forest, do the hippies still protest?

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

The Elfin Safety Pixie looked out in horror from behind her tree and tutted loudly as she noted a string of hazard factors in her enchanted clipboard.

[iMap]

'Ah my young padawan, use the GeForce instead, if it hurts your head'

[iMap]

it's all very linear..

[Lee D]

It wasn't until Jack's dad was talked into trying the Oculus Rift that he realised that outdoors *isn't* actually better...

[pewpie]

Oculus: Where we're going, you don't need eyes.

[Trigonoceps occipitalis]

Now try Real Reality (tm), there is no such thing as Photoshop 'ere.

[AlCro]

Dad: If a tree falls in the forest, and there’s nobody around to hear, does it make a sound?

Son: Don't need virtual reality to answer that one, Dad, even the trees have ears.

[Anonymous Coward]

Is that from "The Teddy Ears Picnic"?

[Anonymous Custard]

The Captain's Log was discovered near the final front ear

[Anonymous Custard]

Can't hear you son - I'm as deaf as a post...

[Anonymous Custard]

Hackers stumble across the NSA's secret cyberspace listening post

[kf106]

"So you're saying with these things we can find the mythical Ear of Doomdark? I'm unconvinced."

[Mehrsprachigkeit]

See son, now we can pretend to be in front of the telly even surrounded by all this nature. Go City! Fancy a V'beer?

[Mehrsprachigkeit]

Wilderness hunting for the environmentally conscious... or the terminally coward!

[Dick Emery]

With 3 competing VR headsets in the offing...

...four by two's company. But tree's a crowd!

[Vector]

No, I don't see it anywhere. When I said VR would blow your ears off, I didn't think it would be quite so literal.

[jonathan keith]

Computers - fucking with your head since 6000 BC

[Borg.King]

Ears be damned, put your glasses back on lad and take a butchers at the tits on that tree over there!

[Anonymous Coward]

I knew I saved my lunch in here someplace, where is it???

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Say, this "alone time" with the son isn't actually so bad. Maybe next week I can skip all the outdoors stuff and just log on from home...

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

<obscure>Ironically, the two were watching "Matango" when the Cordyceps attacked.</obscure>

<ps>I love the way you can make up fake HTML tags in the comments system</ps>

[Adam 1]

Finally, we have an answer to whether falling trees make a sound with no one present.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

The hipsters were in for a "soylent surprise" when they got back to camp.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Desiderata

Tread carefully between the trees

And remember to pack spare batteries

Speak truthfully to all, and listen

Like the trees, for they too have ears

Avoid moany gits, who would compare

their gifts unfavourably to an X box

Enjoy your disposable income

and spend it as you see fit

Be careful where you tread,

unless it conflicts with keeping your chin high

Be yourself. No matter how bad things get,

You will always have the forest. It does not judge.

Yield to the impetuousness of youth

When the path ahead is narrow and treacherous

Never mind the ears you saw,

for they are probably due to the hallucinogenic mushrooms.

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the ears;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not you understand the game,

Believe that you are making progress.

Though your life may be no more than sham, drudgery and broken dreams,

You will always have the forest (and the ears)

[Richie 1]

Isn't it great to get away from it all. Now, let's try the city simulator.

[Camilla Smythe]

Whilst the process seemed quite simple and painless for his father Dave was confused by the repetitive 'chink' - 'chink' - 'chink' that was coming from his set of eyeball extractors.

[Camilla Smythe]

Checking for a possible obstructive nail in the Mechanism...

Dave was surprised to experience a perfect and painless double frontal lobotomy.

[Matt Siddall]

OK, I admit it. This bird watching lark is better than I thought...

[Anonymous Custard]

The beta-testing of Halloween VR was going well until they reached the Eerie Forest scenes

[Anonymous Custard]

Budget cuts, poor script and wooden characters meant the Star Trek VR game could only show the final front-ear in the Captain's log.

[Anonymous Custard]

First we had pale bulbous eyes staring at us, and now this...

[Anonymous Custard]

Davy Crockett - King of the wild front ear

[Anonymous Coward]

Day tripper

Very nice son, but in my day if we wanted to see ears on trees we just took LSD.

[Anonymous Coward]

PC Comment

Move right along now ... Nothing to see 'ere

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh look...

Oh look, a camouflage deer

[KroSha]

Virtual insanity

Dad, I think I trod in something virtual....

[Colin 27]

Dad!

You know when I said I virtually stood in shit? Well, I don't think it was virtual.....

[frankfisher]

Dad, it's so real I just stood in a cowpat

[John H Woods]

Hey!

Where did the living room go?

[Duffy Moon]

Incredible. It looks just like a real forest!

[mevets]

Ok, Glass

Introducing MS Glass(tm). Innovation Forward.

[Mr Humbug]

I can remember when it was all trees round here ... oh!

[Russicles]

Occulus is to rift as Audi is to tree?

No Cortana, "Virtual Reality" not "vernal ear tree".

[He's Dead Jim]

It's like stupid in stereo

[He's Dead Jim]

virtual reality....

because real life ain't fucked up enough...

[He's Dead Jim]

i spent all this money for these things and all you got is trees with ears?

[He's Dead Jim]

it's amazing what 5 box tops will get you these days.

[He's Dead Jim]

take good care of the trees, dewey

[Anonymous Coward]

Week 1 Winner (Hint!) :)

After 5 weeks of viewing the Western Digital 6TB in 3D using the virtual headset and checking out the specs, he finally starts to wonder if it will ever materialise in the flesh.

[Warm Braw]

Two philosophers seeking an answer for Bishop Berkeley find the forest has beaten them to it.

[goldfish]

What's this 'ere ?

If only they'd gone to Specsavers....

(aimed at the U.K.)

[Ron 10]

Be careful what you say. That tree is listening.

[OmgTheyLetMePostInTheUK]

Did I actually step in real bear poop?

[DarkLordofSurrey]

What wood you know I hear VR is great

[Sfnch]

Mut Makes Merry With Wi

Dad...Dad !! Roger's been peeing on my leg for a full minute now and you just don't care, do you..? DAD!!

[Sfnch]

Re: Mut Makes Merry With Wi

Silly me - of course, this should have been spelt: Wii

[Rol]

So, it's virtually impossible to be charged for virtually molesting young boys in virtual reality!

I'll take two sets please.

[Rol]

Totally taken with his new toy, Mr Smith is soon on his way to hospital after trying to make wood with his son.

He later had to explain to the police they were actually playing Minecraft and he was punching trees.

[Rol]

Young Sid wonders if it would work with his third eye also.

[Rol]

On returning to Mars, the intrepid explorers wowed the crowds with tales of hideous creatures they discovered on Earth,

"With huge black rectangular foreheads and no discernible optics, they stumbled through a landscape they can hardly perceive. I tell you straight, the clunky ones they sent here were far and away the best of them. Invading Earth would be a kindness"

[Rol]

"Isn't this just brilliant? I'm experiencing the most wonderful narrative, exploring the diversity and history of this park. It's. it's, just, bloody brilliant. What about you son?"

"Err, all I'm seeing is women running around naked"

"What! Let me see. Ah! It's still on the factory default setting"

[Rol]

"Hey, son. I remember when all this was covered in trees."

"It still is dad"

"Yeah. That's the spirit. Keep telling yourself it isn't real, but one day you'll grow up and have to face reality"

"But dad..."

"Shush now, let me have a moment to remember how things used to be"

[He's Dead Jim]

Hey dad, what the hell is this song you chose for background music?

Just some Stealers Wheel son. Now hand me that ear please...

[Grave]

i knew it....

20yo sexy blonde my ass,

why is it always old hairy guys, whyyy?

[Ron 10]

Aah! Those hornets aren't in the video.

[spdaniels]

Wood experience

" ah, my bad! When you said I would have a VR wood experience I completely misunderstood ! "

[justcw]

Squirrel! No really Dad.

[DPride]

PAT pending...

Oh-oh, looks like I really was polishing a turd.

[DPride]

New game...

Spot the Prince Charles.

[AlgernonFlowers4]

Cats in their pies

Duane Dibley'e virtual Great British Bake Off was proving to be a hit with young and old alike!

[Martin 63]

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, the trees do

[[e-mail]]

My God, it is almost as if you are actually there in Prestatyn on a wet Bank Holiday afternoon.

[dodgyblue]

Lost in the woods take on a whole new meaning when trees sprout ears.

[emmanuel goldstein]

Princess Leia, here I come!

[michaelJ]

Forest folk try out out new VR dating app.

[Rol]

"Where's that fuck witted prop technician? You! Yes you! I said I wanted an EERIE forest scene.

[lek]

"Hey, I've got wood!"

"Yes, lots of trees around here."

"No, I meant..."

[lek]

"I thought I'd lost my legs! Oh thank God they're still there!"

[lek]

"Are we still in the game? I can't tell...didn't I already take off my headset? I can't seem to remember; I don't know what's real and what's not anymore!"

"Hang on a minute, let me check; *hmmm, twice the size, so.....*"

"Yeah, we're still in the game dude."

[lek]

"Stranded in the wilderness. Lost with no shelter, food or water. Just these VR headsets to help us."

"That's the last time I'm letting you pack our camping gear."

[DPW]

Now, let's recreate that time Dick Cheney went hunting...

[roostah]

"Well son, I did say you needed to get outside more and away from the computer. This is not quite what I had in mind!"

[GreenThumbStick]

This VR system is so good, even the Enterolobium Cyclocarpum is in higher resolution than reality.

[BobSee]

Virtual Bears?

Umm, that's not virtual bear shit I just stepped in.

[rosyatrandom]

Still in Alpha

"Now, our Woodland Retreat Experience is still in Alpha, Harry, so please keep an ear out for any bugs."

"'Eye out,' you mean?"

".... Yeah, Harry. Eye. Sure."

[mvdg]

Did I just lose my ear?

[infomous]

Toyland

...Toys ... Big Ears ... Toyland! You look like a right Noddy. Oh, so do I.

[Stephen Wilkinson]

I can see Peter Capaldi in these, they're a million times better than a sonic screwdriver

[discomike]

...

Should've gone to Specsavers..

[discomike]

...

I'm sure I put the Tomy Sky Attack on my christmas list...

[flipflopper]

Ear 'ere!

[Huw Barnes]

Well that's finally answered the question "what looks more ridiculous; 2 guys in VR headsets or a tree with ears?", I guess we'll have to find funding for another research project now

[Herkybird]

Hey...stop peeing up my trouser leg...

[Herkybird]

I cannot quite see it...I think it says "You qualify for a Windows 10 upgrade"...

[nellyc56]

I don't understand this dark web!

[Werner McGoole]

Due to advances in cyber hacking, Swampy and his tree-hugging friends were now able to keep one step ahead of the planners.

[JRowland]

In the forest of the deaf, the one eared tree knows when you start vomiting.

[hi_robb]

My entry

I can't see the woods for these stupid fecking glasses.

/D

[hi_robb]

My more refined attempt

I can't see the woods for the virtual realitrees

[Bob H]

The introduction of virtual reality didn't make the team any more enthusiastic about the 3 hour project triage meeting.

[The Indomitable Gall]

Aw, Dad...!

First you signed up for Facebook and ruined it for me. Then you started following me on Twitter. Can I not have one thing...?

[DPW]

Ah, well! Ear today, gone tomorrow...

[Dippywood]

I can't believe you lugged that all the way into the forest

[DancesWithLice]

"Uh, dad, I've just stood in bear poo again..."

[DancesWithLice]

"Hey, Dad, back in the real world, the tree's grown an ear, your wrist's grown a butterfly and my foot's grown a light bulb..."

[Warm Braw]

But I thought the whole point of these things was that we'd never have to leave Hoxton again!

[r3tude]

VR reversal

Meanwhile in the Forrest of ears, the inhabitants escape reality by pretending to work in an office 9-5.

[Anonymous Coward]

I know you need an Ultrafast Broadband connection for one of these, but didn't expect to be surrounded by so many G.fast FTTdp telegraph poles to achieve it.

[Evoflash]

But will it give me a full head of hair?

[Evoflash]

Take them off and it's like Aero theme is back!

[Evoflash]

Damn this internet banking in 3D!

I'm trying to log on, but I suspect I'm barking up the wrong tree so I'll leaf it there and visit the branch. That way I can root out the truth about how much these things cost us.

[Evoflash]

OMG with these on it actually does BITE the hand that feeds IT!

[kryptonaut]

Ear 'ere

Here we see the surprising consequences of a buffer overflow in a VR application.

[Anonymous Custard]

Trees with ears? Where's Attenborough when you need him?

[Anonymous Custard]

In the forest of the deaf, the one eared tree is king.

[Anonymous Custard]

No I said the hunting simulator should have deers in it! With a D!

[Anonymous Coward]

I expected the Royal Oak to be a pub.

[Anonymous Coward]

I think Cortana misheard me. We appear to be in the Ear, Nose and Throat Wood, (not Ward) simulation.

[DancesWithLice]

"Gee, Pa, Mom really has taken all her clothes off..."

[Stephen Keane]

VR is a fad, ear today ... gone tomorrow

[theleader]

The bear behind!

"Hay, dad is that grizely bear behind us real or virtual?"

[e_darren]

Is it supposed to make it look like my ear is on my arm?

[AlgernonFlowers4]

What the fuck just happened?

We dropped out of VR because some bastard El Reg hack swiped the hard disk as they had run out of the WD 6TB ones for the caption competition prize!

[Rol]

Re: What the fuck just happened?

Ear ear.

[Anonymous Coward]

We appear to be an eary wooded hollow, Len.

[Anonymous Coward]

No follow up article?